The Lies We Tell for Love (The Love, Lies & Lust Series)

by Mz. Robinson

  “Damon, you have a call on Line 1.” Louisa’s voice came through the speaker on my desk phone, and I knew without asking who it was.

  “This is Damon.”

  “You got it?” Nadia asked excitedly.

  I hadn’t spoken to Nadia since we’d taken the paternity test in Atlanta two weeks prior. I knew she’d been waiting for the same thing I was, and now we both had our answer. “Yes,” I said, taking a deep breath.

  “I told you, Damon!” she squealed. “It says 99.9 percent.”

  “I know, Nadia,” I said, clearing my throat, which suddenly felt like it was swelling shut. Loosening my tie, I reclined in my chair. The test results had obviously confirmed one of my worst fears: I am Donovan’s father.

  “I’ll be in Atlanta this weekend,” Nadia said quickly. “We should make plans for you to spend some time with our son. Also, we’ll need to have a family meeting to discuss how we’re going to handle visitation.”

  Family meeting? Visitation? Nadia’s words bounced around in my head as I continued to stare at the test result, wishing that at any moment, Octavia would wake me up from what had to be a nightmare.

  “I’d like to see Octavia again,” Nadia rambled on. “I need to know the woman my son is going to be spending every other holiday with.”

  The mere mention of my wife snapped me out of my mental fog. “Nadia, I think we need to slow down for a moment.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’m still trying to focus on the fact that I have a son,” I said. “You’re already asking for family meetings, discussing visitations, and…and what the hell do you mean you need to see my wife again?” I understood that Nadia was happy to have confirmation that I was her son’s father, but the woman had clearly lost her mind if she thought Octavia was going to be down with us being one big, happy family. How did I fuck up like this? I asked myself.

  “I assume you’ve told her,” Nadia said from the other end of the phone. “You did tell her; didn’t you?” she prodded.

  “No, I most certainly did not,” I said.

  “Well, surely you have to tell her now, right?”

  “I haven’t decided what I’m going to do!” I snapped. Nadia had too many questions, and I didn’t know all the answers. I did know that I wanted her to shut up with her interrogation so I could concentrate on the change that had just occurred not only in my life, but in Octavia’s and Jasmine’s as well, even if they didn’t know it yet. “Who have you spoken with about this?” I asked, suddenly concerned that Nadia had been running her mouth.

  “Well, no one,” she said hesitantly.

  She’s lying, I concluded. “Nadia, don’t play with me,” I spat into the phone

  “María,” she said. “That’s it, and she won’t talk.”

  “How do you know?” I asked, assuming that for the right amount of money, Nadia’s assistant would hum like a bird. Why in the hell would María be loyal to Nadia? I still remembered how Nadia spoke to the woman like she was beneath her.

  “Her family is here illegally, Damon,” Nadia informed me. “She won’t say a word…or else.”

  I decided to take Nadia’s word and have faith that she knew what she was talking about when it came to María. “Are you sure that’s it? No one else knows?” I demanded.

  “No one else, Damon. I-I promise.”

  “What about your grandmother?” I asked. I was sure that if Bernice knew, my grandmother knew as well.

  “No way!” she whined. “I told them that someone else is the father.”

  This was of no relief to me because I was sure that if my grandmother had seen Donovan, she’d surely noticed the resemblance between him and my daughter. I could feel my anger raging more and more with each deep breath I took. “I don’t believe you. If you told María, Nadia, then how can I believe you didn’t tell someone else? For all I know, you might go spilling your guts to some damn tabloid…or worse!” I was snapping on Nadia out of pure frustration.

  “They don’t know!” she screamed. “And who else would I tell? Who else could be worse?” she asked, sounding like she was on the verge of crying at any moment. “Octavia? Who, Damon? Do you really think I’d tell her?”

  “Yes, my wife!”

  “I would never tell her anything you don’t want me to.” She sniffled. “But why haven’t you said anything to her? I mean, doesn’t she have a right to know?”

  I wanted to tell her that for the first time in my life since I had become a man, I felt something I had never felt before—fear. I had done a lot of dirt in my life, and I was almost positive that I would do a whole lot more, but the only thing that shook me to my inner core was the fear of losing the only woman I had truly ever loved. “It’s just…it’s complicated,” I stated simply.

  “What’s complicated about telling your wife that you fathered a child before the two of you were together?”

  “We were together then, Nadia. We just weren’t married.”

  “If I remember correctly, not long after you and I slept together, you busted her for screwing some other guy.”

  Nadia was speaking the truth, but I did not want to hear it. I didn’t need her or anyone else to remind me of the way things had transpired at the beginning of my relationship with Octavia. The only thing that mattered was where the two of us were at that moment, and we were doing well—but now I had this to deal with. “I don’t want to discuss my wife with you,” I said firmly. “In fact, I prefer that you never mention my wife again. It’s really none of your concern.”

  “She’s going to find out sooner or later, Damon,” Nadia stated. “No one can keep this kind of secret forever. It’s probably best that you speak to her now, or it will hurt her more later when she finds out you kept it from her.”

  “Leave it alone,” I ordered. “I’ll handle my home and you handle yours.”

  “Fine!” she snapped. “Do whatever you want. I just need to know what your intentions are regarding our son.”

  Rubbing my hand across my head, I began to organize my thoughts. Donovan was one of three innocent parties in our nasty little secret paternity triangle, and Octavia and Jasmine were the other two. I needed to protect Octavia and Jasmine, but I also knew I had a responsibility as a father to Donovan. It was neither right nor fair for him to suffer because of his parents’ situation. Like some sort of sick twist of fate, I had been begging Octavia for another child with the hope of conceiving a son. Apparently, God has a sense of humor, I thought, though I didn’t find it funny. The circumstances were less than ideal, but I had to find a way to make the best of it. I really had no other choice, circumstances being what they were. “This weekend may not be a good idea,” I said.

  “Why not?” Nadia sighed heavily. “Damon, this weekend is the only time I can get away. In fact,” she said quickly, “I probably won’t be able to get back down that way for another three or four months. We need to take care of it now.”

  “Fine. I’ll see what I can do,” I said.

  “Perfect,” she said sarcastically.

  “How are you doing financially?” I asked. I needed to know that Donovan was being properly taken care of. I feel a certain way about men pushing luxury cars while their seeds sit there wondering about their next meal. I knew Nadia had an established career and was doing her own thing, but I felt it necessary to let her know that I was willing to do my part when it came down to providing for my own flesh and blood. I also wanted to defuse some of the obvious tension I felt and heard in her voice. I needed to keep her on my side so she wouldn’t go off and do something stupid, like running her mouth to Octavia about Donovan.

  “I’m good,” she said. Her tone was no longer full of tears, nor was there any anger in her voice. In fact, she seemed happy—maybe even relieved—that I had asked. “I just want you to get to know your son. I know you can’t be a full-time father,” she said, “but I want you to be there for him as much as possible. I may regret saying this, since I know you already have a family of your
own and everything, but I would like for us to make Donovan’s childhood as stable and normal as possible. He’s quickly approaching the age when he will be making memories, and I want those memories to be good ones, even if that means keeping all of this a secret.”

  I felt a certain relief in hearing those words from Nadia, and I wanted to believe she was telling me the truth. “Nadia, you know me,” I said. “I’ll do what I can to be the best possible father to Donovan.”

  “I believe you, Damon,” she said, “and I know we will make this work.”

  ***

  I decided to take my wife out for a night on the town, first because I loved her, and second, because I felt guilty as fuck for what I’d discovered earlier that day. I chose to treat her to dinner at BB King’s Blues Club in Memphis.

  “Baby, it’s a weeknight,” Octavia said, looking over at me. She looked ultra sexy in her above-the-knee fitted off-the-shoulder dress. Her hair hung loosely at her shoulders, just the way I liked it.

  “I know, babe, but we deserve this,” I said. “Hell, you deserve it.”

  “No, you’re right. We deserve this,” she said, smiling at me.

  “We do, babe,” I agreed. “We do.” I had been debating all day about telling her the truth, but to be honest, I knew before I opened the test results that I was not going to tell her about Donovan. I know it sounds crazy, but my true intention was to find a way to take the secret to my grave. I had convinced myself that it was possible and that with the right means—meaning money, in my case—I could maintain and keep my secrets concealed from Octavia forever. I know I was wrong on so many levels, but I had faith that things would work out if I planned and played my cards perfectly.

  “You look so sexy tonight, boo,” Octavia said, turning in her seat to face me.

  I had chosen to wear a midnight-blue Versace sport shirt and dark gray slacks. I knew my lady loved to see me in blue, and I loved they way she looked at me whenever I wore it. “I had to bring it tonight,” I said, pulling my Jaguar XF into the club parking lot. “A man can’t get caught slippin’ when he’s married to a woman like you.”

  “You never slip, babe,” Octavia said sweetly. “That’s one of the many reasons I love you.”

  Sliding the gear shift up to park, I stared at her. “What are the others?” I asked.

  Stroking my cheek lightly with her fingers, she smiled. “Because even though I have and get my own, you still provide for me. Because you would lay down your life before you allowed our daughter or me to be hurt. Because you loved me through all my bullshit and stayed with me even after I almost got the two of us killed. Because—”

  “I get it, boo,” I said, smiling proudly. She had stroked my ego and made my man hard from her compliments alone.

  “One more,” she said, holding up her finger.

  “What’s that?”

  “Because I trust you,” she said seriously, “and I never thought I could trust anyone the way that I trust you.” The look in her eyes was so sincere, and I knew her words were true. It took all the strength in my body for me to keep looking at her; guilt is like a flesh-eating parasite. I was already starting to feel the effects of it as it began eating away at me.

  ***

  The filet mignon and grilled mahi-mahi Octavia and I shared was cooked to perfection, almost as delicious as the meals she cooked for me at home when she had time. I teased her about that as the two of us slow-danced to the sounds of Will Tucker and the BB King All-Stars.

  “I’m saying baby, the cooks almost got you,” I joked.

  “Lies! All lies!” She laughed, shaking her head. “I give credit where credit is due, but we both know I’m that fiyah, and I give your tongue multiple orgasms.”

  I pulled her closer to me and kissed her neck just below her earlobe. “Later, my tongue is going to give you multiple orgasms,” I whispered.

  She smiled brightly and laughed lightly. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

  “I love you.”

  “Again,” she said, cupping my face with her hands, “tell me something I don’t know.”

  “I’m ready for dessert,” I said, giving her a quick peck on the lips. “Are you?”

  “I’m always ready,” she said, coyly batting her eyes at me.

  “I have a room waiting for us at the River Inn.” Octavia had told me she had seen a special on the luxurious hotel while watching the Travel Channel. I had made her a promise that the next time the two of us were in Memphis, we would rent a room there. Both of our businesses had been doing well, but we finally had time to get away, so I made good on that promise.

  “You know I have wanted to stay there since I heard about the place,” she said, offering me another huge and beautiful smile.

  “I know…and tonight you will.”

  “What about Jazz?” Octavia asked with raised eyebrows. “You trust Contessa to watch her overnight now? And Kelly?”

  “I think Contessa would be just fine overnight with our baby girl,” I said honestly, “but right now I don’t have to worry about that because your parents are watching her. As far as Kelly goes, I’ve checked him out, and until he does something to make me doubt him, we’re good.”

  “I can’t believe you worked all of this out,” she said. “I’m always the last to know.”

  “Baby, if I’d have told you, it wouldn’t have been a surprise.”

  “True.”

  “So are you ready to go?”

  She pulled me closer and slowly flicked her tongue across my bottom lip before giving me a full kiss.

  “I take that as a yes,” I said, leading her off the dance floor by the hand and then out the exit doors of the club.

  ***

  The River Inn was a small luxury inn with no more than twenty-eight rooms and approximately six suites. The entire inn was done in a European décor, accented with Southern charm. There was a peaceful view of the Mississippi and a majestic beauty about the property. The penthouse suite reminded me of something out of a classic film, only with marble counters, plush carpet, and several other upgrades. After calling to check in on Jasmine, Octavia left me alone in the sitting room while she freshened up. I had vowed that the night would be only about the two of us, and I planned to make sure it worked out that way, right after I called to check my voicemail at the office.

  The first message was from my father, telling me he hated that he had missed me when I’d stopped by the house but that we should catch up soon. At fifty-eight, Pops was still a man on the go, and he looked good for his age. If he and my mom ever divorced, he would have to fight the ladies off, young and old.

  The next five messages were from Nadia. I felt a surge of frustration as she droned on and on about how happy she was that Donovan had me in his life then asked for a number outside of my office where she could reach me. “I noticed you changed your cell number over a year ago, but you need a second one where you can be reached after hours,” she said.

  The last two messages were her asking why I hadn’t called back, saying “DJ,” her new nickname for Donovan, wanted to talk to his daddy and tell him goodnight. I was ready to pop off on her ass until I heard his soft baby voice saying, “Goodnight Dad-dy. See you soon.”

  After hitting the end button on my Blackberry, I reclined on the sofa. If Nadia was attempting to pull at my heartstrings in an attempt to convince me to haul my ass to Atlanta for the weekend, she had succeeded, because I planned to be there to see my son.

  “Hello, baby.”

  I was lost in my thoughts of Donovan when I looked up and found my very sexy, very naked wife standing in the doorway, just smiling at me with a come-and-get-it grin. Her skin looked like pure polished gold under the glow of the dimmed lights. “Well, hello to you,” I moaned, readjusting my man through my pants. I was instantly hard at the sight of her, and I love that she has that effect on me.

  She walked over to me slowly, swaying those hips of hers and licking her lips. “Dessert is officially served,” she said
seductively. Stroking my cheek gently, she tossed her long mane from one side to the other then spread her legs shoulder-width apart.

  “And I am more than ready,” I said, grabbing her by the hips and pulling her toward me. I ran my hand down her thigh then lifted her left leg up until her ankle was resting on my shoulder. Stroking her clit gently with my thumb, I watched as she tossed her head back and closed her eyes. The look of pleasure on her face made me crave more of her. Placing one hand underneath her toned, tight ass, I braced her as I grabbed her thigh gently then pulled her right leg up. We reclined back on the sofa until her naked, phat lips were positioned over mine. Inhaling her essence, I licked the hood of her protruding clit like it was a lollipop.

  “Damon…mmm…” Octavia moaned.

  My dick was pressing against my boxers, fighting to break through as I moved my tongue up, down, and around until finally sucking gently on her clitoris. Slipping my tongue down to her heated hole, I tasted her sweetness once before moving back up, then down inside her wet spot again.

  “Yes…shit, yesss…” she moaned.

  She rotated her hips as I pushed my tongue as deep as it could go inside her playground. The heat oozing from her pussy was electrifying, but it was no match for the rain that fell on my lips and tongue when she came. Her body shook as she moaned deeply and passionately. I unzipped my pants quickly and had barely pulled my joystick out when Octavia climbed off my shoulders and dropped to her knees. She plunged down on my hardness, locking her lips around me. She sucked me hard and strong, using only her wet, warm mouth while her hands squeezed and stroked my sac.

  “Baby…” I gasped. My toes curled involuntarily as she plunged up and down on my stone-hard dick, each time taking more and more of me into her mouth and throat. I could feel myself on the verge of climax as I whispered, “Sit on it.” In an instant, she was positioned on my lap. Her hot box felt like it was burning as she rocked and rotated her phat cat on my man until the only sounds we could hear in the room were the swishing of her wetness and my own moaning.