The Lies We Tell for Love (The Love, Lies & Lust Series)
Page 22
He looked from me to the bottle in my hand. “Maybe not, but I know how it feels to find out someone you love is sick,” he said. His eyes were full of compassion and tenderness. “I also know getting twisted is not the answer.”
It was obvious he was trying to help, but I didn’t want his assistance at that very second. “I don’t want to talk about this right now,” I said, shaking my head. “Especially not with you.”
“You need to talk about this now,” he said.
I poured another shot, followed by another, then refilled the glass again.
Kelly shook his head.
I rolled my eyes at him and started walking toward the patio doors.
Kelly took quick strides toward me and finally stepped in front of me, blocking my path.
His attempt to stop me only further fueled my anger. “Move!” I snapped, stepping past him.
“Fine!” He yelled behind me as I walked out onto the patio, “Get drunk, Octavia! But I promise you that when you sober up, your problems will still be here, plus one more.”
“Oh yeah?” I asked, turning around to look at him. “What’s that?”
“A fuckin’ hangover,” he snapped.
“I’m a big girl,” I told him. “I can hold my own.”
The rain outside fell lightly upon my head as I walked down the stone path leading to the garden. Easing down on the bench, I replayed the day’s events over and over in my head. I poured myself shot after shot. It felt like my life was spiraling out of control, spinning as fast as my drunken head. How is it that one moment you can be so high on life and love, but in the next, you’re so damn low? I wanted to rewind the last forty-eight hours of my life and replay everything that had taken place, including my conversation with Lena. I wanted a do-over, a chance to make it all flow and work the way I wanted it to, but I knew no matter how much I wished for a second chance, that was not an option.
I looked up and saw Contessa marching down the lawn. She was holding an umbrella in one hand and carrying a coat in the other. When she finally reached me, she hovered over me like a mother hen guarding her chick. “You’re going to be sick,” she stated. “Here…put this over your head.”
I looked away, not wanting her to see the tears that were forming in my eyes. I didn’t argue, though, as she wrapped the jacket around my shoulders and pulled the hood over my head.
“Do you want me to call Charles and Charlene?” she asked.
I shook my head. “No, just give me a moment,” I requested, barely able to recognize my own voice.
“Okay, darling,” she said nervously, glancing at the glass in my hand.
“I’m fine,” I said.
She smiled slightly and turned and walked away.
I took another shot to the head. I could already feel the effect of the cognac, and I knew the end result from that little binge of mine was not going to be a good one, but I didn‘t care. I looked in the pond and noticed that Kelly had filled it with fish. I smiled at the blurry orange and white and black creatures swimming around. As if echoing the hard rains and cloudbursts that were falling from the sky, the emotional levees I held on the inside finally broke again. Closing my eyes, I reclined on the bench, pulling my knees up to my chest as my tears flowed freely.
“Octavia…”
I heard Kelly’s voice calling me, but I couldn’t respond. I was practically choking on my own tears.
“Shh…it’s all right,” he said to me.
Lifting my head, I saw Kelly standing in front of me. I closed my eyes as another round of tears made their escape. “Leave me alone,” I mumbled. “Please.” I felt too weak to argue with him, and I was too numb to protest.
“Not a chance,” he said.
“Why not?” I asked, crying.
“Because,” he said, looking at me tenderly, “I care.”
“Hold on,” he ordered, picking me up in his arms.
***
Inside the guesthouse I stood, dripping water all over the floor.
Kelly stood in front of me, drying my hair with one of the fluffy towels I kept stocked in the linen closet. “Sit down,” he said.
I did as he requested but chose to refrain from breaking my silence.
“Are you trying to catch pneumonia?” he questioned. “Do you want to be sick?”
I looked in his eyes. “No,” I answered matter-of-factly. “What I want is for my life to go back to the way it was a year ago,” I slurred, “back when my mother was healthy, when I could trust the words my husband spoke to me. That’s what I want. Can you give that to me?” I cried. “Can I buy that? How much money do you think that shit will cost, Kelly? How much?”
“Octavia, when I found out Ciara was sick, I wanted to push down mountains to make her well!” he yelled. “I would have died for her to have life, but that is not how it works! All the money in the world cannot change the plan,” he said, lowering his voice. “Some things are just meant to be, and others are not,” he continued. “I know it doesn’t seem fair, but it’s reality.”
I took a deep breath and exhaled through my lips. “I feel like I’m losing control,” I confessed. “Mama and Damon—”
“What about Damon?” he asked.
Kelly looked genuinely concerned, so I poured my heart out, telling him about Lena and how I couldn’t reach Damon on the phone. “At first I thought he may be hurt or something,” I whined, “but what if it’s someone else. What if…?” I couldn’t bear to say the words.
Kelly sat down on the bed next to me and pulled me into his strong arms. “It’s all right. It’s all right.” He ran his hands across my hair before leaning in and gently kissing my forehead.
Tilting my head back I searched his eyes, hoping they held all the answers.
Kelly lowered his head, pressing his lips to mine. He pulled away, then eased down on his knees. I watched as he removed my shoes one by one and then did the same for my socks. He patted my feet dry with the towel and ordered me to stand up. “Take your clothes off,” he said, “and get under the covers.”
I watched him intently as he turned his back to me. I unbuttoned my jeans then eased them down my hips to the floor, followed by my panties. I shivered slightly as I removed my shirt and sopping wet bra. I quickly climbed under the soft sheets and pulled them up around my neck to thwart the goose bumps that were invading my skin.
Kelly laid my wet clothes out on the back of the large chair in the corner of the room. “I’ll go have Auntie get you some dry ones,” he said.
“Kelly,” I called.
He turned around slowly and looked at me.
“Lie with me?” I said.
I saw the look in his eyes, that look that told me the fine line we had drawn in the sand after our kiss was in danger of being crossed. I saw in his eyes that if he did lie down with me, being that close without touching me was not something he could promise. And, yes, I saw in his eyes that he wanted me. But to all those things I said, “So what?” In that moment, there, alone with him in my lowest moment, I dismissed all reasoning.
Chapter 30
Damon
“I want you to explain this to me,” I demanded, sliding one of the photos Lawrence had provided me across the table to my mother. I planned to confront Nadia about the info Lawrence provided me, but first I wanted to know why Nadia and my mother were arguing in the other photograph.
Running her fingers through her hair Mama stared at the picture. “You hired a private investigator?” she asked calmly.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I wanted to know what Nadia is up to,” I said honestly.
“You’re talking about the child, I suppose,” Mama said, staring at me.
“Donovan,” I said. “How long have you known about him?” I asked, leaning forward against the table.
“Since before he was born,” Mama said. She had a blank expression on her face. “I remember she came to visit one weekend when your grandmother and Bernice were here to see your father. She
was around six months pregnant at the time.”
“So Grandmother knows too?” I asked, shaking my head.
“She knows about the child, Donovan,” she said quickly, “but Nadia told her someone else is the boy’s father.”
“And she believed that?”
“Of course she did.” Mama laughed. “Odessa believes everything that comes out of that little bitch’s mouth. Nadia told her and Bernice that another man is the boy’s daddy, but the first opportunity she got, she pulled me to the side and proudly told me that her unborn son was going to be my grandson.”
I watched Mama as she slid back from the table and then walked over to the kitchen window. She looked like she was lost in her thoughts, consumed with her emotions.
“I offered her $50,000,” she explained, “to go away and find another man to name as Donovan’s father. I told her to pick anyone she wanted, just as long as it wasn‘t you.”
My conversation with Gia replayed in my head. She was telling me the truth. “Why?” I questioned. “Why would you do that?”
“To protect our family,” she said, “from the scandal and from that wretched wench. Nadia has always been bad news, Damon, and her having a child by one of our own would only make her worse.”
“You should have come to me from the very beginning,” I advised her. “I could have handled it.”
“I’m sorry,” she said solemnly.
“Does Pops know?”
“No,” she said, looking over at me.
“I have been hiding this from Octavia,” I admitted. “I’ve decided to tell her the truth. I can’t keep sneaking behind her back and lying about my whereabouts. Donovan is my son, and Octavia is my wife. We’re family, whether we want to be or not.”
Mama looked at me and frowned. “Damon, you’re…” She stopped what she was going to say when Isabella entered the room, carrying the cordless phone in her hand.
“Sorry to disturb you,” she said, “but there is a phone call for Damon.”
“Who is it?” I asked, slightly annoyed that my conversation with Mama was being interrupted.
“A Mr. Kelly Baker,” Isabella announced. “He says it’s urgent.”
“Who is Kelly?” Mama questioned.
“Our nanny’s nephew,” I informed her before taking the phone from Isabella. “This is Damon,” I said into the receiver.
“Hey, I’m sorry to disturb you,” Kelly said, and there was something in his tone that instantly told me something was wrong, “but I think you should know…”
I allowed Kelly to finish then finally advised him I was on my way home. “I’m getting on the road right now,” I said before hanging up. I handed my mother the phone and began walking toward the front door.
“What is it, DJ?” Mama asked, following behind me.
“Octavia needs me,” I said, opening the door and running down the front steps.
“Damon, I’m not finished talking to you,” Mama said from the doorway.
“I’ll call you,” I said, opening my car door. “I love you.” I climbed into my car and shut the door just as I heard Mama say she loved me too. I had left my phone on the charger inside my truck. I removed it from the cradle and saw that I had five missed calls and three messages.
“Damon, it’s me, Lena. Look, Octavia was here, and she knows everything. I’m sorry.”
I went on to the next message. It was from Octavia, and she was crying and sounded completely distraught. “Fuck!” I cursed, pulling out of my parents’ driveway. I decided not to call Lena back. I would deal with what Octavia had to say when I got home. Kelly advised me over the phone that Octavia was heartbroken and had received some terrible news. I had to get home ASAP for damage control, I assumed the news was from Nadia and that the bitch had told Octavia everything.
***
It was close to midnight when I arrived home. I was nervous, anticipating what was waiting for me when I got there. My home was completely dark, with the exception of the night light in Jasmine’s bedroom. I placed a kiss on my daughter’s cheek and went to my bedroom. I opened the door and saw Octavia sleeping, which relieved me a bit. In my mind, I had expected her to be sitting up waiting for me, ready to pop completely off. I didn’t want to wake her, but I needed her to know I was home and there for her. After removing my clothes, I pulled the covers back and climbed into the bed next to her. She was completely naked under the sheets. I wrapped my arms around her and snuggled against her warm, bare skin.
She shifted slightly in her sleep. “Kelly?” she mumbled
I paused, feeling something burning inside of me—anger and confusion from hearing my wife calling another man’s name in her sleep. The room was completely quiet until I heard the sound of her breathing heavily.
Chapter 31
Octavia
I awoke to Damon lying next to me and what felt like a small body of water with hundreds of tiny fish swimming inside of my head. I had the worst hangover of my life and felt like at any moment, I was going to lose the contents of my stomach, which consisted of nothing but the cognac I’d guzzled. “Damon?” I said lowly. My throat was dry, and my eyes felt like they had pounds of luggage underneath them.
“I’m awake,” he said, opening his eyes and sitting up next to me.
“What time did you get in?”
“Around midnight,” he informed me. “I’m sorry I missed your calls. I left my phone in the car on the charger.”
I didn’t feel like examining his explanation, so I decided to take him at his word, at least for the moment. “We need to talk,” I said, sitting up slowly in bed. I reached over on the nightstand and grabbed my robe. I didn’t know how it got there, but I didn’t care. I was just grateful that I did not have to get out of bed right away. Considering all the swimming that was going on in my head, walking was the last thing I wanted to attempt.
“Octavia, I’m sorry,” he began. “I should have told you from the very beginning, but I didn’t know how.”
I had pushed the situation with Lena out of my mind until he started with his apology. “Listen, you should have told me the whole story about Alicia or Lena or whoever the hell she wants to be,” I said cooly while slipping on my robe. “I was disappointed and mad that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me that you and her used to be an item and that you felt obligated to help her.” I exhaled slowly. “We will address that, but right now I have something to tell you—something about Mama.”
Damon gave me a quizzical look. “Mine or yours?” he asked.
“Mine,” I said, swallowing hard.
“What about her?”
“She…Mama has cancer,” I said. “Breast cancer.”
Damon looked completely thrown off by the news. He closed eyes briefly and rubbed his hands over his head. “Octavia, I’m so sorry,” he said, looking at me, with his voice trembling slightly.
I gave him a recap of my conversation with Mama and told him everything she’d disclosed to me about her condition.
“Why didn’t she tell us sooner?” he asked. “She and Charles have been going through this alone for a month?”
After running my fingers through my disheveled hair, I shrugged my shoulders. “She didn’t want to worry me until she knew for sure that the diagnosis was true.” I looked at him and continued, “And—let’s be honest—you’ve been on the go so much…”
I watched as he climbed out of bed and walked slowly over to the door, dressed in nothing but his silk boxers. For a minute, I thought he was going to walk out of our bedroom mid-conversation, but he didn’t. Instead, he turned around and gazed at me. “You were upset on my voicemail because of your mom?” There was a glimmer in his eyes that looked like relief.
“You thought it was about Lena?” I sighed. “I was bothered by that. I’ll admit that. I mean, imagine how you would have felt if some strange man’s name kept being linked to me? If you received anonymous gifts and—”
“What gifts?” he asked.
I had already to
ld him I didn’t want to discuss Lena at the moment, but he seemed dead set on the idea, and it seemed like as good a time as any. I told Damon the story of the gift and how I found out that his company was backing Déjà Vu. I mentioned the text messages I’d seen on our phone bill. I made sure I explained that I was online looking to upgrade my phone and that it led to me checking our usage because I didn’t want him to think I was just snooping. I gave him every detail of my trip to L.A. and my meeting with Lena.
“So instead of going to Memphis, you flew out to California?” He looked surprised.
“Yes. I had a gut feeling and a whole lot of unanswered questions,” I stated, “and I was determined I would get to the bottom of all of them.”
He smiled. “You are definitely something,” he whispered.
I moved to the edge of the bed. “When it comes down to my family or the ones I love, I can be the wrong something for the right someone,” I said seriously, meaning each and every word. You never know what you’re capable of doing until the wrong force of nature pushes you outside of your element.
“Lena means nothing to me,” Damon said, and he sounded convincing. “Not like that anyway. I love her, but only as a friend, Octavia—nothing more and nothing less.”
“I believe you,” I reassured him, “but the problem is that she doesn’t feel the same way.”
He walked back over to the bed and sat down beside me.
“She has feelings for you, Damon,” I continued., “and it’s not just friendship. She loves you in a completely different way.”
“She told you that?”
“She didn’t have to,” I said, exhaling. “It was written all over her face. And,” I added quickly, “I’ve already advised her that the two of you will no longer be able to maintain a friendship.” I was waiting for him to say the wrong thing or display the wrong expression, but he didn’t.
“I have no problem with that,” he answered. He reached over and took my hand in his. His hand felt cool and soft, which was a total relief considering I felt like my body was inside a toaster oven. I interlocked my fingers with his.