A strange clicking noise pulls me from my internal battle, and my first thought is she’s already at the door, leaving. Whirling around, I freeze in my tracks as the realization of what that noise is hits me.
What the hell happened to her?
She’s limping across the floor on crutches. Her right leg is in a cast from thigh to toe, and she’s struggling so hard just to walk the several feet to the door. She came all the way up here to my room like this—alone, struggling, and hurting in more ways than one. Her body jerks slightly from her soft sobs, but she tries her best to hide them. Even now, she doesn’t want pity or to impose on me by asking for help. She’ll bear this burden alone, without putting any of it on my shoulders to bear.
Nothing will stop my Andi when she has her mind made up that she wants something. That something was me. But I turned it down, turned her away, and left her to fight through the pain without my help.
She reaches the door, maneuvers one crutch under her arm as she leans on the other, and extends her hand to grab the doorknob. This jolts me into action, and I sprint across the suite faster than I’ve ever moved in my life. Sliding my arms under hers and clasping them in the middle of her chest, I gently pull her body back to lean against my chest. Giving her the extra support she needs, I hold her up as I lightly squeeze her to me.
Leaning my head down, my mouth is beside her ear, and I can’t help but nuzzle my nose into her hair. “Don’t go,” I plead. “Don’t leave.”
Unable to contain her quiet cries any longer, she completely breaks as sobs ripple through her body. Her wails kill me because I know I’m mostly to blame for them. I helped create them, and I want nothing more than to take them away from her now. How we’ll ever really fix this is beyond me, but I know it’s not over. We’re not done. This love is too strong to just throw it away without putting up the fight of my life.
I may have been knocked down, but I’m not down for the count.
“Let me help you,” I cajole softly.
When she loosens her grip on one of the crutches, I lean it against the wall and gently do the same with the other one. Gathering her in my arms, I easily lift her, making sure to give extra support to the broken leg. Even with the heavy cast, it’s painfully obvious that she’s lost a lot of weight. Carrying her to the bedroom, I place her gingerly on the bed and grab the extra pillows to prop her leg up.
Now that I’m finally looking at her face, her neck, her chest, and her arms, I’m in shock. My blood is reaching supernova temperature from just thinking that someone has hurt her. Travis’s face flashes in my mind, and I instantly want to tear him limb from limb. I don’t even look like this after several rounds in the ring. She looks like she’s been severely beaten.
“Who did this to you, Andi?” I ask through gritted teeth.
Someone needs to pay for this in a bad way. Whoever hurt her will be hunted down and put through the ringer, courtesy of yours truly.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
LUKE
The tears are still rolling down her beautiful face. Her face is now covered with bruises and contusions in different shades of black, blue, green, purple, and red. She carefully wipes the tears from her eyes and sniffles while she tries to gain enough composure to speak.
“You didn’t have to bring me in here, Luke. I was almost out of your way. But when you touched me, I just couldn’t take the pain of not having you anymore. If I can just rest for a minute, I’ll be on my way again.
“Doors are hard for me to get through alone. If you don’t mind opening it for me, I’d appreciate it,” she says as she lays her head back on the pillow and covers her eyes with her forearm.
The tears are still flowing.
“Why won’t you answer me? Who did this?”
Sighing, she answers me resignedly. “No one did this. I was in a wreck.”
“What? You mean the one from a couple of weeks ago?” I ask.
“Yes. You knew?”
“Only what I saw on the first couple of minutes of the news. They said it was a minor accident but you were staying overnight to be ‘monitored for your condition,’ insinuating that you were pregnant with Travis’s baby,” I reply, somehow managing to not roll my eyes and keep most of the venom out of my voice. “I ripped the cord out of the back of the TV after that statement and haven’t watched it since.”
“PR spin, so that fans didn’t panic over Travis and so the future concerts wouldn’t take a sales hit. The insinuation about my ‘condition’ was just another way to sensationalize the wreck.” She shrugs, playing it off.
Andi keeps her voice low, but I can hear the disappointment in it. The label cared more about their bottom line than her health and well-being. I’m partly chastising myself for believing it and partly for not recognizing the ploys they use.
“Do Mack and Shane know what really happened to you?”
“Yes.”
Son of a bitch! And they didn’t even tell me!
“Tell me about it. What really happened?”
Moving her arm, she looks up at me. Surprise registers in her eyes, along with something else. Leeriness.
“Our Phoenix show was delayed, so we had a few extra days before the show in Los Angeles and I wanted to stay to see you and Shane fight. I couldn’t stand being this close and missing it, so Travis had his motorcycle brought here so we could meet up with the band afterward.
“I watched your fight, and I was so proud of you for winning. You really did a great job in the ring. Then I watched as Syndi climbed in the ring with you. You picked her up in your arms and kissed her, right in front of everyone, and you were so happy. I’ll never forget the smile you gave her. It used to be my smile.”
“You were here during my fight?” I ask incredulously. I feel like I’m just now catching up in this conversation. I knew she was here during Shane’s fight, but I didn’t see her when I went out.
She simply nods and continues from the point where I interrupted her.
“That scene with Syndi kept replaying in my mind, so I asked Travis if we could just go on to L.A. that night. I couldn’t stand being here any longer. It was late, it was dark, and we were probably both too tired to make the trip. A drunk driver clipped the motorcycle when he changed lanes and we lost control.
“The force of the hit threw me off the bike, so that’s why I have cuts, scrapes, and bruises everywhere—along with my broken leg. As I lay on the highway, all I could think about was you. Thoughts of dying without being able to tell you how I really felt gave me a panic attack. The paramedic said I was going into shock from internal bleeding, and I was airlifted to the hospital.
“I just got out of the hospital today, and my first stop was here. So now you know.”
I’m floored. Flabbergasted. Pissed off. Hurt. Relieved. Furious. Shocked. Grateful.
I don’t know what I’m supposed to think or feel with all this information being thrown at me. No one told me she’s been in the hospital for the last couple of weeks. “Why didn’t Mack or Shane tell me?”
That explains their sudden disappearances from the gym for extended amounts of time lately. When I questioned them about it, they’d give me vague answers about running errands or some shit.
“I told them not to,” she admits.
“Why?”
“Because I didn’t want you to decide you wanted to be with me because of a close call. Intense circumstances cause people to make rash decisions. Your reaction a few minutes ago was genuine. You never even looked at me, but you knew you didn’t want me. It was only when you realized I was hurt that you rushed to help me. I don’t want or need your pity or misguided notions of being my savior.”
Slowly sitting up, she winces in pain and her hand covers her abdomen.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“My incision site is just still sore when I move in certain ways. I’m okay.”
Picking up her cast, she turns until the foot on her bad leg reaches the floor and then moves her good le
g to join it. “Can you bring my crutches in here, please?”
Her bottom lip quivers, and she pulls both of her lips into a thin line in an attempt to stop it. She waits for me to move without looking at me. She just stares at the floor, her face crestfallen, and her normally happy eyes are now lackluster. Crossing my arms over the front of me, inhaling deeply to further expand my chest, I take my rigid stance and answer her.
“No. I’m not bringing them to you.”
She looks up at me, and I expect her to fight me tooth and nail like she always has. I expect my Andi to tell me where I can shove those crutches. But her feistiness is not what I see in her eyes. I see defeat. No, it’s actually worse than that. I see her acceptance of defeat.
She’s broken.
Now I’m broken.
“Okay,” she says sadly.
Then she stands on her good leg and uses the bed to help steady her balance. Looking around, she’s contemplating how she’ll move from the bedroom back to the door where her crutches are waiting. She crouches slightly, preparing to hop on her good leg, when I about lose my shit over her obstinacy.
“Stop,” I command sharply. “Sit down.”
She looks around, unsure of whether she should do it or not. She expended a lot of energy just to get in an upright position, and she doesn’t want to do it all over again. I can see it written all over her face. Her skin has paled in just the last few minutes, and I know she’s already spent too much energy way too fast. She can be so damn stubborn.
“Andi,” I say softer, “sit down before you fall down. You’re not going anywhere right now.”
She looks back at the bed and is visibly more frustrated now.
“What’s the problem?” I ask.
A tear drops from her eye, and she quickly whisks it away. “I can’t sit down without help.” Her hand moves to cover her incision area, giving away her thoughts and explaining the problem at the same time.
“I’ll help you,” I offer.
“If you’d just get my crutches, I can do it.”
“I’m right here, you stubborn girl. Let me help you. Besides, I’m afraid if I walk away now, you’ll pass out and hurt yourself more.”
Her shoulders droop in resignation. “Okay,” she whispers.
Moving closer to her, I carefully lift her and remain motionless for an extra moment or two, just holding her while I can. She feels so right in my arms, and I pray that we haven’t hurt each other beyond repair. As I place her back on the bed, it hits me how insensitive I’ve been over her injuries.
“Did I hurt you when I picked you up before? I didn’t know about your incision,” I say apologetically.
“No,” she says softly with a shake of her head.
“What did they have to do?”
“They had to go in and stop the internal bleeding. Thankfully, my spleen hadn’t completely ruptured, so they were able to save it.”
“That’s good news,” I say, unsure of my own words. “Can I get you anything?”
“My crutches.”
“Besides that.”
“Then no,” she refuses. “Yes. The phone.”
“For what?”
“To get someone to come get me.”
“Travis?” I ask pointedly. My irritation and jealousy rear their ugly heads instantly.
She shakes her head. “Mack.”
“He’s busy.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. So is Shane. I don’t have anyone else to call.”
“Where’s your cell phone?” I ask.
“In a million pieces on the highway.”
“Looks like you’re stuck here then,” I assert. “When did you eat last? You look very pale.”
“I’m not hungry,” she stubbornly refuses again. “I can call the front desk and get a room here. If I can just get my crutches, I’ll be out of your way soon.”
“You’re obsessed with the crutches. You’re fine right where you are. If I bring them in here, you’ll just try to walk to the door again. Clearly, you’re in no condition to do that, and I can’t just stand by and let you get hurt. Why aren’t you in a wheelchair anyway?”
“I didn’t want one.” She shrugs. “And I want my crutches nearby because I’m totally helpless without them.”
“You need rest, and you need someone to take care of you. Being totally helpless may be a good thing for you, so you’ll learn to lean on someone else for once.”
ANDI
My energy is totally spent, and I have no reserves left in me. If Luke told me to leave now, there’s no way I’d physically be able to do it. Even as strong as I am, I can’t deny that I’m in over my head.
I need help.
I need Luke.
As I look up at him, my heart overflows with love and longing. When he held me, I wanted to grab on to him and never let go. His scent, his touch, his warmth, and the security I feel when he holds me cocooned me. When he released me, it broke my heart all over again.
“You’re right,” I concede.
“I’m sorry. What? What did you just say?” he asks incredulously.
“You’re right. I need someone to help me and take care of me.” I look down as my chin starts quivering again. I want that someone to be Luke, but he’s not finished with his training camp yet. Even if he were, I already know his true feelings about us, where we stand. There’s no love in pity. There’s no reconciliation in obligation. There’s no future in encumbrance. “I just don’t have anyone here. I need to arrange transportation to get back home.”
“What happened between you and Travis? Did you two break up?” Luke asks.
Closing my eyes, I lay my head back on the pillow. I feel another fight coming on that I don’t have the energy to handle right now. I take a deep breath before answering him.
“After you and Syndi got together, I wanted to get back at you so badly. It crushed me every time I saw the two of you together. I wouldn’t even turn on the TV because there was a new picture of you with her every time. So, I tried to fall in love with Travis—I really did. I tried to move on. I tried to forget you. I tried to put you behind me for good. Problem is, my heart never seemed to take the hint.
“Travis is a great guy and didn’t do one thing wrong while I was with you. He respected our relationship and was just a friend. He was there to help pick up the pieces after you moved on with Syndi, and I selfishly let him. I’d already told Travis before the wreck that I was still in love with you. When I explained to him how I felt about you, it really hurt him. But he insisted that he cared enough about me to want me to be happy, even if it wasn’t with him.
“It’s always been you in my heart, Luke. You’re the one I don’t want to live without, and no one else will ever change that.”
A loud thud alarms me and my eyes fly open. When I find Luke, I realize where the sound came from. He’s dropped to his knees beside the bed. Tears are pooled in his beautiful eyes, and his mouth hangs open in complete astonishment. He extends his hand and cups my cheek in it. Instinctively, I lean into the warmth of his touch and relish the feel of his hand on me again. I’m not even ashamed of my reaction to him. I’m completely in love with him, and it’s pointless to even try to hide it.
“You weren’t with Travis before we broke up?” he chokes out.
“No, of course not. I’d never do that to you, Luke,” I reply vehemently.
“They were right,” he says cryptically.
“What are you talking about?”
“I know you,” he states simply, like I’m supposed to know what that means.
Leaning over the bed, he carefully lays his head on my stomach as his arms gingerly slide up my sides. His face is turned away from me so I can’t see it at all. He’s trying to be easy and not physically hurt me, but the pain in my heart is far greater than any pain in my body. Before I even realize it, my fingers run through his hair, caressing him and conveying my love through my touch. When I realize what I’m doing, my hand freezes in place and I question if I
even have the right to do this.
Is he still with Syndi?
As I quickly pull my hand away, he seems to sense my discomfort. His body tenses but he doesn’t move. Leaning my head back on the pillow, I cover my eyes with my forearm again, trying to hide and shut the real world out as much as I can.
“Am I hurting your incision, Andi?” his muffled voice asks.
“No.” That’s not what hurts at all right now. “Mack and Shane told me that Syndi wasn’t really pregnant. Are you still seeing her?”
“I was never technically seeing her, Andi. I made a huge mistake the night I got your ring back in the mail. It happened once, and I damn sure used protection. Immediately afterward, I told her I regretted it and nothing would ever come of it. I’ve always been in love with you,” he says.
He doesn’t say anything else, and I feel him relax against me again. Confused by the light tremors I feel, I open my eyes and see his shoulders moving up and down slightly. I’m stunned speechless as I watch him. My mind literally can’t comprehend the scene playing out right in front of me.
When I hear a sniffle, my heart shatters all over again.
“Luke?” I ask through tears that have sprung up from nowhere. How I have more tears to cry at this point is beyond me.
Lifting his head, he turns to meet my eyes, and seeing his tears completely shreds me. “I did this to us, Andi. I gave up the best thing that’s ever happened to me because I believed the worst about you. I know you, and I should’ve known better. I should’ve had more faith in you and not reacted so harshly.”
“Luke, we both made assumptions and mistakes we shouldn’t have made.” I pause. The next thought is so hard to say that I can barely get it out. “I guess that means we weren’t meant to be since our love failed at the first real test we encountered.”
The pain in Luke’s eyes is palpable, and I know mine is as well. How can we come back from this? We were tested and we failed. Our reactions were impulsive and have done more damage than I know how to control. I came here to tell Luke how much I love him—still, always, forever. But, even if he wanted it, can we get back together and put all of this behind us? How can we never doubt our love again? This whole cluster just adds to the feeling of impending doom.
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