It must be good.
Simon walks into my flat and looks around my open-plan living/kitchen area. I don't want him to look at my stuff, and I really don't want him looking at Kent's things. I haven't moved his zip-up hoodie, DVDs, or hair gel, so I have to see little parts of him everywhere.
"This place is nice, Sav."
"Quit the small talk. I don't give a shit what you think of my flat. Just talk."
"You don't have to be so hostile. I came here to have a discussion as adults."
"And, as an adult, I'm telling you to fucking say what you came here for." I laugh. "And you're telling me to act like an adult when you were the one sneaking around with my sister?"
Sighing, he runs his hands over his face. "I am sorry for the way I handled my attraction to your sister."
I swallow bile as my stomach rolls.
"I was weak. At first, it was flattering when she flirted with me. You and I had been together for a while."
"That makes it okay then."
He ignores my snide comment. "The longer it went on, the more I wanted her. Then, one night, we kissed. It was wrong, and I know that, but I couldn't help it. We ended up in bed."
"Literally don't think I want to hear this," I mutter, wishing I hadn't put my wine down.
"I hated myself in the morning, and she did, too. We vowed to never let it happen again."
"You sucked at that."
"We tried for weeks, but we couldn't stop it."
"Why didn't you break up with me? You didn't have to cheat."
"Because I love you."
I stare at him. There are so many things I want to say. The words are spinning around my mind, but the stupidity he's showing right now has blocked my mouth.
He steps closer, and I hold my ground. "Whatever you think of me, I do love you."
"Can you start using past tense, please? You're making me want to vomit."
"I still love you."
"You don't have a clue what love is." I could never, ever cheat on anyone. The very idea of being unfaithful to Kent is unthinkable. "You put yourself first time and time again, and you didn't care if you hurt me. You're a selfish prick, and honestly, you and my sister deserve each other. I hope you have both spent the last three years worrying that the other one will cheat."
Simon's eyes narrow. Either she cheated on him or I'm just dead on the mark. I don't care which one it is really.
"When I found out you were pregnant, I told her it was over."
"That went well," I mutter sarcastically.
"I stayed away from her until ..."
I freeze, already guessing what he's about to confess. "Until when?" I ask.
"Until that day. I'm so sorry I wasn't there, Savannah. You should have never had to go through that alone."
He started sleeping with my sister again the day we lost our baby. Bile burns my throat.
I fucking despise him.
"You need to go," I growl.
"Not yet, please. I need you to believe me when I tell you how sorry I am. I've grown up a lot since then, and I realise exactly what I did. It was selfish, you're right, and it was the worst thing I could have done."
My hands ball into fists as my heart thumps against my rib cage. I want to punch him. "Great. Now, go."
"Savannah."
I throw my hands in the air. "Don't Savannah me. You came here and asked to explain, and now, you have."
"I didn't want to be with her when everything came out. You were angry, rightly so, but it made me wake up. The whole thing with your sister was so wrong, and I didn't want it to continue."
"Then, why did you? You stayed with her, Simon. You came around my house with her, expecting me to be fine with it. Why do that if you didn't want to?"
He shrugs. "I don't know. Everything was so out of control. You hated me, my parents and your parents hated me, and I hated me. She didn't."
"You stayed with her because she didn't hate you? Are you still together?"
He drops his eyes.
"Oh my God, you've actually stayed in a relationship with her for three years."
"You were gone."
"You fucking coward."
His head snaps up, and he grinds his teeth. That hit a nerve, but how could he deny it? "You don't understand."
"Nope, and I don't want to. I actually think it's Karma, to be honest."
"Who was that guy with you last week?"
"I'm not talking about him with you."
"Are you together?"
"You have no right to ask me that."
"I was young and idiotic, Savannah, but I'm not the same person I used to be, I swear."
Turning around, I take the few steps to the kitchen and get my wine. This is definitely a conversation requiring wine.
"I won't ask if you're going to offer me anything to drink," he mumbles like a petulant child.
Good.
"Does my sister know you're here?" I take a sip.
"No."
"Ah, so if I say I'll come home, what will happen?"
He scratches his jaw, his eyebrows drawing closer together.
"Have you not thought this through? Why do you want me to come home, Simon?"
"I love you."
"Hilarious. So, you want us to get back together?"
"I've always wanted that. I've spent three years trying to look for you."
"While you're with my sister. Does she know you've been looking?"
"She knows about the private investigator I hired."
Not about the attempts before that.
"If I agreed to go home and be with you again, what would happen with her?"
"Nothing. Our relationship is dead. She feels it, too."
I lift my eyebrow. "You think she feels that, or you know?"
"Look, forget what could happen. I know we can rebuild what we had. It won't be easy, but it's all I want."
Am I actually really drunk and imagining all of this? Or asleep? A nightmare is probably more accurate for this.
"And, if I say no, you're going to go home and pretend to live happily ever after with her?"
Simon turns his head, looking out my window.
"Oh my God, that's what you're going to do. Simon, grow a pair, and leave her if that's what you want, but leave me out of it because that's never, ever going to happen."
"That guy is your boyfriend then."
"He could be my boyfriend, my friend, or my long-lost brother, and it wouldn't change a thing. I don't want you, and I'm stunned that you think I could. After everything that happened, you honestly think I could find anything I like about you again?"
"We were good together."
I throw the hand not gripping my wine in the air. "Until you fucked my sister!"
What world does he live in? Delusional, colossal wanker.
"I'm sorry! I made a mistake and let everything spiral, but if you come back with me, I promise to be the man you fell for again," he pleads with wide green eyes.
"Leave, Simon. Go home, and forget about me."
He walks over until he's right in front of me. "I can't forget about you."
"Try harder because we aren't going to get back together. I can't forgive you, and I don't want to forgive you. I would rather die alone." If Kent doesn't forgive me, that might actually happen, but it will still be a lot better than being with a cheater.
He takes a deep breath, making his nostrils flare. "Is that what you really want, Sav? Because, if I go now, I'm not coming back."
"Don't let the door hit you on the arse."
"Fine." He steps around me and walks out of my life, hopefully for good.
My front door bangs as he exits, and I breathe a sigh of relief. My wine ripples in the glass where my hand shakes. I take a bigger sip.
I go to sit on my sofa to collect my nerves before I eat, but someone is shouting outside. I peer out the window, and my free hand clutches my throat.
Oh no.
Kent and Simon are fighting in the stree
t.
What is Kent doing here?
I slam the glass down on my coffee table and fly out the door. Taking the communal stairs two at a time, I get down fast. My legs carry me forward where I barge into the door to open it.
Kent's arm extends and punches Simon in the face.
"Stop!" I shout.
Both look up at me, and Simon uses Kent's distraction to his benefit. He plants his fist into Kent's stomach.
I scream, "No!"
But it's too late, and Kent is doubling over. He recovers fast though and stretches back up. Turning, Kent faces Simon. I dash over and grab Kent's arm.
"He's not worth it," I say, tugging him to try to get him to look at me. "Please, just let it go, Kent, and come inside."
"Thanks for last night, Sav," Simon says as he backs away.
Kent's body tenses at Simon's words.
"No. Kent, nothing happened with him. You know me."
A pair of my favourite turquoise eyes finally looks at me. "I thought I knew you."
He pulls his arm out of my grip, and tears sting my eyes.
"Please, come inside."
"There's nothing to say," he seethes.
"Then, why are you here?" I ask, stepping forward, desperate to get him to stay. "You came for a reason."
"It doesn't matter."
"Yes, it does. Simon came over, like, five minutes ago. He wanted to explain, and I wanted to hear his version. But then I told him to leave. I don't want anything to do with him. Please believe that. You're the only person I could ever want."
"How do I know you're telling the truth, Savannah? I thought I knew you."
"You do. You're just being stubborn right now. If you give me a second, I'll tell you everything."
"I know everything."
"From Heidi. That's not the same as us sitting down and discussing it. I only kept it from you because I didn't know how to talk about it without breaking down. It's the most painful thing I've ever been through--well, second now. I didn't know how to deal with it, so I tried to do what I'd been doing since the day I left, and I mostly ignored it all."
Kent's eyes close as I ramble about my past and how much I miss him.
When he opens them again, they're vacant.
"Take care of yourself, Savannah," he whispers, stepping back.
"Kent, please."
He turns around and unlocks his car that's parked up the street.
He did come here for me, but instead, he found Simon leaving my building.
My heart fractures all over again, and I reach for the brick wall beside me to steady myself.
He's not going to forgive me.
33
Kent
If my mum witnessed my driving right now, she would call the DVLA and get them to revoke my licence.
After everything Simon did to her, Savannah let him back into her life. He was in her fucking flat. When I saw him, smirking at me in the middle of the path, I lost it.
My fist screams in pain as I clench the steering wheel. I don't even know where I'm going. I'm driving in the opposite direction to my house. I could call Toby and Max and get them to meet me somewhere, but they would have questions.
Wherever I go, I'll have to talk though, and I think I would rather that than go home alone. I make a left, and Toby's house is up ahead. He's more mature than Max, and although I know, if I want a serious conversation, I can talk to Max, too, it's easier with Toby.
I park the car in his drive and get out. Max's car is here, too.
Fuck's sake.
I'm just heading up the path when Toby opens the door.
Smirking, he cranes his head over his neck and shouts into the house, "Put some clothes on, Heidi! Your brother is here."
His face falls when he sees me approach, fists clenched and jaw tight. I guess I look as shit as I feel.
"What's happened, dude?"
"I need a drink," I bark.
Toby steps aside while I head into his kitchen. He has a full-height larder cupboard full of every alcoholic drink you could ever want. I scan the cupboard and grab a bottle of Southern Comfort.
"What's going on?" Toby asks behind me while I unscrew the lid and drink straight from the bottle. "Did something happen with Savannah again?"
I've already had a lengthy conversation with them after I broke up with Savannah. Neither of them seems as angry with her as I am.
I turn to him, my fingers digging into the glass. "Something happened with her ex."
"Fuck. Sit down, buddy." Max grabs a bottle of Jack Daniel's and three glasses even though he knows I won't use a glass.
I sit on the brown leather sofa in the large open-plan living/kitchen area. The back of Toby's house looks out onto a field, so he has the entire wall made of glass.
"Go on," Toby prompts, placing the glasses on the chunky oak coffee table.
His eyes are filled with sympathy. He thinks she's back with her ex. Not that it's any of my business anymore, but I can't see that happening. The dude is a snake.
"I went to her flat to see her, and he was walking out of the building just as I arrived."
"He was? I thought she didn't want to see him again?" Toby asks.
You're not the only fucking one. "Me, too."
He leans forwards. "Well, maybe she didn't want him there. She can't control him coming over."
"She let him in to explain what had happened. He took great pleasure in telling me that they'd talked."
He also said he'd spent the night, but that's untrue. Savannah's reaction was honest. At least I know she has it in her.
Toby nods and pours Jack Daniel's into a glass. So far, Max has been quiet, probably because he knows this isn't the time for jokes yet.
"So fucking what? She might have talked to him, but she loves you. Mate, you can't blame her for wanting answers. Didn't you say that she left without a word? So, she probably didn't get to ask everything you would want to know in that shitty situation."
I take a deep breath through my nose. He keeps defending her. Toby always tries to see the good in people. He was the one telling me that Freya probably wasn't up to something right until the point where we found out she'd stolen all of my money.
"I don't know what was going on, but I saw red. Savannah came out just as I was punching him in the face."
Toby grins. "Nice. Let me guess what happened next. You didn't give her a proper chance to explain his second visit either."
"Fuck off. I didn't come here to be judged."
"You want to talk, man, we'll talk, but I'm always going to be honest. You fucked up again."
"People keep saying this shit, but how did I fuck up when she's the one who's been lying? And not just once. She's been lying the entire time I've known her."
"You went over there to let her explain, but instead, you let your own feelings control you." Toby shrugs. "You're fucking everything up."
"Thanks again for that, dickhead."
Max laughs. "We're not trying to piss you off--that's usually just a bonus--but what kind of mates would we be if we weren't honest?"
Now, he's vocal.
"Good ones."
He holds his finger up. "Untrue. Right, Toby?"
Toby nods in agreement. "Untrue," he confirms. "You ain't ever going to get a girl like that again, so you need to think about what will happen if you let her go."
"I don't want another woman lying to me, so that's fine." In fact, from now on, I should just stay away from women altogether. Two burns, one that's fucking gutting me, and I'm done.
My phone rings in my pocket. Max and Toby exchange a look. They want me to answer because we all know it's going to be Savannah calling. She's tried to get ahold of me hundreds of times since last week, but I've never picked up. I'm surprised she keeps calling.
And, deep down, although I hate to admit it, I love that she hasn't given up. How sad is that?
Toby points to my ringing pocket. "Not answering?"
I take a breath. "No."
"What's the plan now?"
"Work."
"Work?"
"Yeah, I run a business, and I've not been in the office as much recently. Now that I'm no longer distracted, I can work on expansion."
Toby sits back in the seat. "That's not always the answer, Kent. Savannah can't be replaced with work."
My chest tightens, twisting painfully until I have to breathe deeply just to get oxygen. Fuck this, I need to leave. I shove the bottle of Southern Comfort down on the sofa and stand up. "See you later."
It's Monday morning--nine days since Savannah and I broke up. Nine days since I found out about her betrayal and had my heart ripped to shreds.
I stare at my laptop, willing myself to do something productive.
"All right, fucker," Max says, letting himself into my office. He sits down on the opposite side of my desk and kicks his legs up.
Both he and Toby gave me space over the weekend after I stormed out of Toby's house on Friday, but apparently, Max is over that now.
"What do you want, Max?"
"What are you doing here?" he asks.
"Working. This is my company."
"Yeah, so why are you here? You own the place; people do the work for you. Go home or go out. That's what I'd do if I were the boss."
Sighing, I close my laptop. "What do you want?"
"To talk about Savannah."
"No," I snap, balling my fists on the desk.
"Heidi told me what happened--all of it. I don't think Savannah meant to hide anything, not for malicious reasons anyway."
"I don't want to talk about her."
"Dude, you're going to have to. She's nothing like Freya; you've said so yourself. The longer you continue with this, the worse you're going to feel. Then, you're not going to be able to get back with her because it will have been too long, and neither of you will want to lose face. You're going to die alone."
"Did your parents never think to get you tested?"
He grins. "Kent, stop being a stubborn prick, and go sort this out with your girl."
"She's not my girl."
"Bullshit she's not."
I grind my teeth. "Go away, Max."
"Nope. Your receptionist is making me coffee. Do you know if she's single?"
"Fuck's sake," I mutter, looking up to the ceiling.
"Unless you want to go find a pub?"
"No, I want to work." I want to be able to work.
Right now, my mind can't focus on anything for longer than three seconds. Savannah is still everywhere. I can smell her hair and feel the softness of her skin. My head thuds back against the chair. I didn't know pain could take on a life of its own.
"No one wants to work, man."
"Where does your boss think you are?"
Lie to Me Page 24