‘Okay, Daddy, will do!’
Tilly ran off upstairs to find her gloves and Ethan washed her plate and glass then set them on the draining board. The cottage his aunt had given them to live in at Rosewood already felt quite homely and Tilly had settled in well there. It was nice to have family so close, to know that if he ever needed anyone, he could have help at a moment’s notice. Of course, after so long being independent and self-reliant, it was also a bit strange, but in a good way. He didn’t feel quite so alone any more and there was comfort in knowing that if anything should happen to him, then Tilly would have people around her who cared. He wanted to be around for Tilly for a very long time but losing his own mum meant he was always aware of how fragile life could be. Knowing he had family near had eased the pressure on his shoulders and he hoped it would enable him to enjoy things more, without worrying all the time that something could go wrong.
Unfortunately, this evening, before they headed out for the festivities, Melanie was due to Skype Tilly. She didn’t do it often enough in his opinion, but he was sometimes glad that it didn’t happen more regularly, as it occasionally unsettled Tilly and sent her into the I want my mummy vortex. Of course, it wasn’t really Melanie that Tilly wanted because Melanie had never been the mother that Tilly needed or deserved. But then Melanie had never wanted to be a mother and when she’d discovered that she was pregnant, she had considered terminating the pregnancy, but it had been Ethan’s persuasion that had led her to see it through. Looking back, he could see that her heart had never been in motherhood and he couldn’t blame her for that; it was just how she felt. Though how she could bear to be away from Tilly was beyond him.
He went through to the hallway and checked his reflection in the full-length mirror. He didn’t really care what his ex-wife thought of his appearance but he also didn’t like the thought of her looking down her nose at him, so he always made sure that he was as presentable as possible before her video calls. It was about his pride and goodness knew how little of that he’d had left when Melanie had walked away from him, but he was trying to cling to what self-esteem remained.
Tilly trotted down the stairs and into the hallway.
‘Got them, Daddy!’
‘Good girl. Are you ready to speak to your mum?’
Tilly hugged Glitterbug to her chest. She must have got the toy off her bed when she was upstairs. ‘Do I have to?’
‘What do you mean, Tilly?’ He crouched down in front of her. ‘You like to chat to your mum, don’t you?’
Tilly stared hard at the floor, unblinking, in a way that worried Ethan. It looked as if she were trying to control her emotions and surely six was a bit young to be suppressing tears?
‘Sometimes I do but today I want to go and do the decorating with Aunty Audrey and Harper and Scarlett. I like being with them because they’re nice and fun and kind and they don’t make me feel silly like I said the wrong thing.’
‘And we will go to decorate the tree, but you’re meant to speak to Mum first and tell her about your week.’ He sucked in a breath. ‘And you never say the wrong things so you don’t need to feel silly, ever. Okay?’
Tilly pouted at him and he had to bite his tongue. He completely understood why she didn’t want to speak to Melanie. Two weeks ago, when Tilly had waited for Melanie to Skype, she’d called an hour late and only stayed online for five minutes – during which time she corrected Tilly’s grammar and vocabulary at least six times – as she’d had an evening meeting to get to. It just wasn’t good enough and he was concerned about the message that it was sending to Tilly – that she wasn’t as important as work. But in spite of this type of behaviour from Melanie in the past, Tilly had always been keen to speak to her mum, so something must have changed.
‘Tilly, is there any other reason why you don’t want to speak to Mum?’
She sighed and tucked Glitterbug under her chin. ‘I don’t like to say, Daddy.’ Tilly pushed her face into Glitterbug’s head.
‘You can tell me anything, Tilly. I love you and I’m not going to judge you for your feelings. Remember how we talked about feelings and how they aren’t things we can help but we can try to deal with them? I want to try to help you understand your feelings if I can.’
Tilly sighed and looked up at him. ‘Aunty Audrey is much nicer than Mummy. Aunty Audrey always hugs her daughters and tells them she loves them and makes them dinner and cakes and laughs at their jokes, even when they’re not funny. Mummy’s never here to make my dinner or to hug me and when I told her a knock-knock joke she didn’t laugh at all. Not one teeny bit and that… it made me sad, Daddy. And she makes me feel like I’ve said things wrong and I don’t want to feel sad today. Can I speak to her tomorrow instead?’
Ethan gently took hold of Tilly’s shoulders and kissed her forehead. ‘Tilly, it’s entirely up to you, and I do understand why you feel that way, but if you don’t speak to her today, I’m not sure when she’ll call next.’
He watched as his young daughter thought about what he’d said. It was so hard to see her running the idea through her mind, deciding whether her mother was worth speaking to or not, and he realised that Tilly probably understood more than he gave her credit for. In her six years she had worked out that her mother was unreliable and selfish, even if Tilly didn’t exactly understand the concepts themselves. She’d seen how Audrey was as a mother and compared it to Melanie’s behaviour and was drawing her own conclusions.
‘Her calls are always fast, aren’t they?’ Tilly met his gaze, her pretty brown eyes serious as they studied him.
‘Usually, yes.’
‘Okay then… I will speak to her but only for a short time. It can be a fast call and I won’t say much and then she can’t make me feel silly.’
‘Okay.’
He nodded, gave her a quick hug, then went to turn the laptop on. He wished he could take all of Tilly’s worries and sadness away and give her the mum she deserved, but all he could do was try to help her to deal with the situation and her emotions and help her to work through them.
The video call came in ten minutes late and by the time Melanie appeared on the screen of his laptop, Ethan was already annoyed with her. He wanted to give her a piece of his mind but would never do that in front of Tilly.
‘Hello, Cornwall!’ Melanie sang as she waved both hands, her long pointy nails with their fancy manicure catching the light. There even appeared to be diamantes sparkling on some of them, which to Ethan seemed to be highly impractical. What if they caught on something or fell into a bowl of soup or cereal? The length of her nails made him shiver, as he couldn’t imagine how she could do anything with nails like that, but then that was her problem and not for him to worry about.
Tilly glanced at Ethan then back at the screen. Something passed over her face but Ethan wasn’t sure if it was impatience or exasperation at Melanie’s over-the-top greeting.
‘Hello, Mummy.’
Melanie leant closer to the camera. ‘Well look at you, Tillyo. You have grown so much, my little pumpkin.’
Melanie called her daughter Tillyo when she was trying to sound affectionate.
‘I’m not a pumpkin, Mummy, but I have grown and I need new school shoes.’
‘Do you now?’ Melanie frowned. ‘Are you all right for those, Ethan, or do you need me to transfer something across—’
‘It’s fine!’ Ethan cut in. ‘I’ll get her feet measured next week. Her shoes aren’t that small anyway but one of her new friends has a pair with a doll in the heels and Tilly wants a pair of those.’
‘I do!’ Tilly nodded at the laptop. ‘They are so pretty and you can get ones with flashing lights in the heels and a doll or a fairy and… and….’ Tilly stopped talking and pressed her lips together as if remembering that she wasn’t going to say much.
‘Then you must have them, baby girl.’ Melanie nodded.
Ethan cringed. This was what Melanie did. She failed at parenting in general then made a video call and seemed like the
most doting, loving mum a girl could want. For all of five minutes. He hated what it did to Tilly in terms of messing with her heart and her head and he hoped that as she got older, she’d see it objectively for what it was and not be hurt by it. She was already starting to see through the act but didn’t always understand it. Ethan wanted Tilly to see that Melanie’s behaviour was a reflection of herself and no one else, especially not Tilly.
‘Thank you, Mummy.’ Tilly sat Glitterbug on the edge of the table.
‘Is that Glitterbug I can see?’ Melanie asked.
‘Yes.’
‘Hello, GB!’ Melanie laughed, tossing her silky brown hair over her shoulders then running her long nails through it before scooping it back over one shoulder. It was a gesture that Ethan had once thought of as sexy; it had, in the past, made his heart beat faster, but now he knew it was just her way of buying time to think about what to say next. Funny how knowing someone meant that you saw through their body language and their art of deception.
‘Mummy… are you coming home for Christmas?’ Tilly asked.
‘What?’ Melanie’s perfectly shaped brows shot up her forehead and she blinked rapidly.
‘Well, my friend Frankie said that her mum is in the army and she will be home for Christmas. She’s so excited and I thought that seeing as how you’re not even a soldier, so you don’t have to protect anyone with a tank and a gun, then you could come home and see me and Daddy.’ Tilly stared at the screen, her mouth set in a thin line, and Ethan realised that she was testing Melanie.
Melanie licked her lips and her eyes flickered to Ethan. ‘Did your daddy suggest this?’
Tilly shook her head and Ethan followed suit. He wasn’t taking the blame for this one.
‘Not at all,’ Tilly said, sounding sixty rather than six. ‘I just thought I’d ask seeing as how Frankie’s mum can manage it.’
Ethan felt a chuckle rising from his gut and he coughed to try to dislodge it. Melanie had turned puce and was clearly not amused at Tilly’s reasoning.
‘No, Tilly, Mummy is very busy here in Dubai and I will not be coming to Pendallow Sandbay for Christmas.’
‘For goodness sake, Mummy, get the name right.’ Tilly tutted. ‘It’s Penhallow Sands.’
Melanie glared at them from the laptop screen. ‘Whatever! Stupid seaside names. Anyway… I have a dinner this evening with—’
‘It’s fine, Mummy.’ Tilly cut her off and raised a hand to the screen. ‘Daddy and I have important plans this evening and we can’t possibly spare you any more time, so enjoy your shampoon reception and we’ll enjoy our evening.’
With that, Tilly blew a kiss at the screen, got up and left the kitchen with Glitterbug under her arm. Ethan watched her go, amazed at what had just happened. The calls usually ended with Tilly tearful and desperate for one more minute from her mother, but instead his six-year-old daughter had got sassy and put Melanie firmly in her place. Melanie glared at him now, bug-eyed with shock. When her smile slipped and her anger rose, the beautiful façade that she so carefully erected crumbled and she didn’t look so beautiful any more. He’d read something once about inner ugliness finding its way out and showing on the face and he wondered if that would happen to Melanie, or if she’d repent about what she’d done to her daughter at some point in time, and how she would look then. External beauty faded anyway, and that was why Ethan had always appreciated what he could see in someone’s eyes. Inner beauty shone through and made a person more appealing. Perhaps that was one way to interpret the saying ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’.
‘Was that your fault?’ she croaked finally.
‘I have no idea where that came from, Melanie, but let’s be honest, you kind of deserved it.’
Melanie’s eyes widened, then she adjusted the low neckline of the black dress she was wearing and leant forwards, clearly wanting to flash Ethan a glimpse of her enhanced cleavage. In the past it would have floored him, left him yearning for days gone by and wondering what if… Now, not so much. In fact, not at all. His daughter was starting to see Melanie for what she was and he found that it had helped with his own perception of her. But something else had also changed inside him. He might have only known Fran for a short time, but she had integrity and a calm air about her that he’d never seen in Melanie. His ex-wife was always too groomed, too keen to radiate confidence and coolness, too concerned with appearances and how she could use them to control other people. Fran wore dungarees and headscarves and got covered in clay and dog hair. She wore glasses rather than having her eyes lasered as Melanie had, and she ate cake and ice cream sundaes and laughed at her own jokes. She was kind and warm and funny and made Ethan feel comfortable, not undermined. There might not be any chance of anything happening between him and Fran, but in just a few weeks, he’d seen the opposite of Melanie and it had given him a much-needed boost. There was life after this woman and it was a life worth living.
‘You think I deserved that?’ Melanie scowled at him, the attractive mask now fully gone.
‘I’m not going to argue with you, Melanie, but you should take some time to think about it. Tilly’s getting older, she’s at a new school and she’s surrounded by people who care about her. She’s learning all the time, changing and growing and her eyes are opening to the world and people’s behaviour. She’s a bright child and she amazes me every day with how much she already knows and with her thirst for knowledge.’ He coughed then, realising that the sassiness had probably come, in part, from watching and being around Scarlett.
‘Well… whatever. She knows that I love her.’ Melanie applied some lipstick, using the screen as her mirror.
‘Does she? Are you sure about that? Actions speak louder than words, Melanie.’ Ethan paused to swallow his irritation. He didn’t want an argument with Melanie and he didn’t want to ruin her evening. He just wanted her to try to show her daughter some love and attention before it was too late and she lost her completely. ‘Let me know when you want to call next. Try not to leave it too long. Things can change quickly for a six-year-old.’
Melanie nodded then ended the call and Ethan was left staring at his laptop, which featured a montage of photos of Tilly from when she was a tiny baby right up to her first day at Penhallow Sands Primary. She really was growing up very quickly and Melanie was missing so much. It was a shame that she hadn’t been around for the past two years, but then it had given him far more precious time with his daughter than he might have had if they’d shared custody. Not that it was something Melanie had ever wanted or would be likely to ever want, but even so, he just wished she’d take more of an interest in Tilly.
He shut the laptop down then closed the lid and stood up. As he turned, he spotted Tilly in the doorway in her coat, hat and gloves.
‘Come on then, slow coach!’ She grinned at him. ‘We’re going to have a fun evening.’
‘Yes we are,’ he replied as he took her proffered hand.
‘We have lots of fun times, Daddy, so don’t be sad. Mummy is a very silly billy to miss out on this. In fact, she’s vermitable… vertible… uh… a veritable fool, but it’s her loss.’
‘Tilly?’
‘Yes?’
‘Where did you hear that expression?’
‘I’ve been listening to grown-ups talking. Frankie said you hear lots of interesting things if you listen and I’m trying to grow my voa… cabumary.’
‘Your voa… cabumary?’
‘Yes, because my teacher also said that the more words you have, the better you will be able to speak and write.’
‘I see. So is a good voacabumary the same as a good vocabulary?’
Tilly gave a chuckle that tinkled like bells on a sleigh, lifting Ethan’s heart high. ‘Daddy, you are so silly sometimes. You don’t know all the words, remember?’
He laughed. ‘Of course I don’t. I’ll just grab my hat and coat and we can get going.’
‘Daddy?’
‘Yes?’
‘I also think that if I ha
ve more words then Mummy can never make me feel silly for using wrong ones.’
He reached out and stroked her cheek and smiled at her. ‘You’re amazing, Tilly, and you never need worry about things like that. Just be yourself.’
Tilly nodded and he turned and padded up the stairs, smiling with pride at how wonderful his little girl was even as his chest ached because he hated to know that anything caused her pain or sadness. But Tilly was clearly stronger than he sometimes gave her credit for and being here at Rosewood was having a positive effect upon them both.
He found that he was really looking forward to the evening that lay ahead and it felt good. Happiness had evaded him for quite some time, but now it seemed as if it might be within reach and it was all thanks to him accepting the job at the tea shop at Rosewood.
Chapter 10
Fran climbed out of the warmth of her car and hurried towards the tea shop at Rosewood, shivering as the freezing air enveloped her. It was already dusk but the lights in the car park and the thousands of fairy lights that were draped around the lamp posts and the front of the tea shop illuminated her way. They swayed in the breeze, casting their light across the ground like tiny golden flames and making Fran think of tales about fairies and sprites.
The car park was filling up quickly and Fran could see that it was going to be a busy evening, which was a good thing as it meant more business for the tea shop and hopefully more of the locals getting together to celebrate the festive season. Penhallow Sands was a supportive community and she loved living here, especially during the Christmas period when there weren’t so many tourists around and the locals had more time to socialise.
Fran pushed open the door of the tea shop and went inside. The warmth embraced her like a hug and the smells of cinnamon and baking greeted her like old friends. After saying hello to some familiar faces, she went up to the counter and found Audrey and Harper serving hot chocolates and mulled wine.
‘Hello, Fran, how are you feeling?’ Audrey winked at her and Fran knew that she was referring to her fake pregnancy.
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