by Anthology
But it didn’t.
She skied faster, bouncing over moguls and sliding around bends. She was out of control, sobbing uncontrollably as she flew down the mountain, her eyes blurry with tears.
She hoped she could make it down the mountain without falling. She was a good skier, but nothing could have prepared her for what had just happened.
She’d never seen that coming. Yes, Shaun had seemed to have some secret he was hiding, if she were to be fully honest with herself. She’d chosen to look the other way, wanting to give him the space to reveal himself when he was ready. She’d put aside her doubts and fears and chose to trust in him despite a few niggles.
But she had never been prepared for this.
Not this.
A cheating, lying bastard pretending to love her. Pretending she was his one and only when all along he had a wife and children.
Oh my God.
Fresh sobs erupted from her throat.
Lies. All of it. Shaun had never been hers at all.
Sobs burbled from her chest as she skied down the mountain. She didn’t care that other skiers glanced at her as she passed, or that she probably looked like a crazy woman with tears streaming down her face.
She half expected Shaun to catch up to her, but she was skiing recklessly right now, not caring how fast she went. He wouldn’t be able to catch her. Olympians had nothing on her right now. Trees rushed by in a blur. She remembered the skier with the head injury, but pushed the thought away. If she crashed into a tree right now, she almost wouldn’t care. The pain was so acute.
“Selma!” she heard again.
Then…a scream.
More than one. Multiple screams.
People on the mountain were screaming.
Fear gripped her heart like a vise.
She skidded to a stop, sending a long burst of snow flying in front of her. She planted her ski poles and turned back, looking up the hill.
Then she saw Shaun.
He was skiing down the mountain in his red jacket. But he wasn’t on the main run. He’d gone off trail and was weaving through the trees on a side run, his knees bent as he bounced over snow-covered bumps and rocks. Soft billows of snow rose up behind him.
She didn’t know why people were screaming. So what if he skied out of bounds? It wasn’t illegal.
Even if he’d skied past posted signs, it didn’t warrant all this commotion.
And then she saw it.
Behind Shaun, through the trees.
A pile of snow rushing down the mountain like a white monster.
A giant wall of powder, rushing up behind Shaun.
A great, silent, white tidal wave that sent bursts of powder in all direction as it hit trees and burst through the open space like a nightmare.
More screams surrounded her as people raced by on all sides, trying to outrun the danger.
An avalanche.
Shaun had triggered an avalanche!
Chapter 4
As Shaun skied toward Selma, everything seemed to turn into slow motion. It was as if she was immersed in a bad dream, the kind of alternate reality that one awakens from in a cold sweat. Except this was real.
Horrifyingly, truly, undeniably real.
Shaun was racing toward her with a gigantic tidal wave of snow bearing down on him.
She tried to scream but couldn’t.
“Ski!” he shouted at her as he dodged around trees. “Go!”
He was trying to save her. Even as he was trying to outrun it himself.
She turned and began skiing down the hill as fast as she could. But then something made her stop. She skidded to a stop, her heart thudding in her chest.
She turned and looked back up the mountain, only to see the wall of snow overtake Shaun.
And then it buried him, sending his form into white obscurity.
She screamed long and hoarse. Someone grabbed her and threw her to the side.
The avalanche of snow rushed by, passing her in a silent whoosh.
Selma watched as the avalanche came to a stop right beneath the base of the mountain.
“Fuck, that was close,” said the man who’d pulled her out of the way, a man dressed in ski patrol clothes who was pulling himself up off the ground beside her. “If people just realized they can sidestep these smaller ones--”
“My boyfriend,” she gasped. She pointed with a shaking finger. “He was buried.”
“No shit?” The guy jumped up.
“Yes. Save him! Please!” She began screaming, unable to stop herself. She clambered onto her feet, determined to get up the mountain to Shaun. She was determined to dig him out herself if she had to. But her legs, weighed down by the skis, weren’t working properly.
The ski patrol guy was on his walkie-talkie, radioing someone. She heard snippets: “Buried. Casualty. On east side of mountain beneath chair lift five.”
Casualty? Does that mean he’s dead?
A burst of panic gripped her tightly. She let out a loud sob. “I need to get him.” She tried to scramble through the snow, dragging her skis behind her. Everything felt so slow, so bogged down. She must be in shock. Then she looked down and realized one of her skis had come unclipped from its binding.
Up the hill at the spot where Shaun had been, people were there now, all frantically digging to unbury him.
A piece of information flitted across her brain, a bit of trivia she hadn’t known she’d filed away: most avalanche victims only survive fifteen minutes under the snow before they perish.
There was still time to get him out.
Determination filled her like a balloon.
She reached down and unclipped her other ski from its binding. Then she began clambering up the icy hill toward Shaun.
As she struggled up the hill, Selma slipped and fell multiple times. But still she kept going. With every step that she took, she sobbed his name over and over again.
He couldn’t be dead.
He had to be alive.
She had to see him again, hold him again, kiss him, have him hold her…
It can’t end this way.
“Shaun,” she cried.
I love you. Shaun, I love you.
She loved him. It was true.
That was all that mattered.
She suddenly didn’t care about anything but the love. All she knew was that she wanted him alive. She couldn’t live without him.
Shaun.
I need you.
She couldn’t imagine a world without him in it.
She couldn’t imagine never seeing him again…not having his green eyes look at her in a way that gave her chills.
Not having him make love to her and stroke her hair and ask her if she would love him always.
Always.
I’ll love you always.
Please don’t leave me.
How can we have always if you’re gone?
Sobbing, she pushed herself up that hill. Long trickles of sweat ran down her back.
Ski patrol raced up. A guy with a beard told her to go back down the hill, since the area was still dangerous.
She ignored him.
She reached where Shaun was and dug her hands into the cold, wet snow and began digging. The other responders next to her were eerily quiet as they scooped handfuls of snow as fast as they could. The only sound was their breathing.
Selma dug frantically, digging her fingers into the mound of snow with an electric desperation that fueled her. She was sobbing and digging and calling his name with the kind of urgency that came from loving another human being so desperately that one would do anything to turn back time…to undo what was already done.
But it couldn’t be done. This couldn’t be the way the story ended.
Another ski patrol officer approached and told Selma to leave. She turned on him with such shouts and sobs and screams that his expression said it was best to let this crazy person be, even if she was effing killed by another avalanche herself.
She dug and du
g, pulling wads of snow back and out with all her might. She was like a dog digging for a bone that meant its very survival. Her actions were frenzied, filled with a desperation that drove her on with what felt like superhuman strength.
Then she caught sight of it: Shaun’s red jacket. A cheer went up from the crowd, but it sounded far in the distance to Selma’s ears.
She kept digging, faster.
Fifteen minutes, fifteen minutes.
How much time had passed? Would he still be alive? Dead? Brain-damaged? Himself ever again?
She dug more furiously, sobs quaking out of her body.
Someone touched her arm but she ignored them, still digging.
The other responders were digging as well, but to her it seemed they were all going in slow motion.
Too slowly.
“Hurry!” she screamed. “He’s in there!” And I love him.
I love him, I love him, I love him.
Then she realized she wasn’t just thinking it, but chanting it out loud through sobs.
I love him, I love him, I love him.
His arm came into view. Then his brown hair. Then his face.
His handsome tanned face…now pale white.
She dug more frantically.
Men reached in and together they all pulled him out.
He was limp.
Unmoving.
Shaun. Usually so filled with life. His strong male physique suddenly looked so small, so vulnerable. So unlike him.
Her heart stopped. She crawled to him over the wet snow, her breathing hoarse.
“Shaun!” She bent over his face. “Come back to me!” That handsome smiling face…now without expression. Without life.
“Is he dead?” she whispered.
No one answered, or maybe they didn’t hear her.
Someone began doing CPR on him.
One…two…three
Still he didn’t move.
She turned away, unable to watch any longer.
Tears ran down her face. She covered her eyes with her cold, gloved hands.
Shaun.
He was gone. She knew it in her heart.
Then she heard a cough.
A long, raspy cough…followed by a cheer from the crowd.
She whipped around. Shaun was sitting up, looking dazed. He turned and met her eyes.
“Selma.”
She scrambled over. “Shaun, Shaun, you’re alive!” She fell onto the ground in front of him, grabbing his legs and unable to control her loud sobs.
“Holy shit, what happened?” he said, causing the men to burst out laughing.
“You survived an avalanche, man,” someone said.
Shaun looked around with a dazed expression. “No shit?”
Selma couldn’t contain her sobbing. “You’re alive, you’re alive.”
“Of course I’m alive, baby.” Shaun met her gaze. Then he reached out to her. “There’s no way I could ever leave you.”
Shaun was taken to the local hospital to be evaluated. Luckily, he was fine except for some minor frostbite. He wasn’t even in shock, which Selma found surprising, considering she was treated for it.
They were both discharged from the hospital a few hours later.
Back at the hotel, they lay together on the bed and ordered room service.
Selma kept fighting back tears as she was hit with periodic memories of seeing him buried, and then seeing his lifeless form once he was dug out.
“I thought you were dead,” she said, blinking back tears. “It was the worst feeling ever.”
“I’m here, baby.” He pulled her close and stroked away her tears away with his thumbs.
“I’m sorry I skied off like that, forcing you to go through the backwoods to catch up to me. I feel like if I hadn’t done that, you wouldn’t have triggered that avalanche. You could’ve been killed.”
“I don’t blame you, Selma. I pulled the rug out from under you. I understand why you skied off.”
“I should have stayed to listen to what you had to say.”
“I understand. I would have done the same. But yes, I hope you can hear me out.”
She turned her eyes up to him. “I want you to know something. I know you’re married, but at that moment, when I thought you were gone, the only thing that I could think about was my love for you. It superseded everything.”
Tears filled his eyes. “That means everything to me.”
“Talk to me, Shaun. I need to know the whole story.”
“Okay.” He took a deep breath. “Here goes.” He reached out and took her hand. “I’ve been married for seven years. I have twin boys. They’re five years old. My wife…we’re currently separated…had severe postpartum depression. It was more like psychosis, actually. She started doing bizarre things that were out of character for her: leaving for days at a time, going on spending sprees, acting erratically. She wasn’t herself for a long time. We tried to get her help. I even had her committed at one point. And then she started cheating on me.”
Selma sucked in a breath. “She cheated on you?”
“Yes.” His jaw clenched. “She was diagnosed with borderline personality made worse by her postpartum depression. I stood by her while she got treatment, but still she kept having affairs. She would sneak off after getting the twins to bed and not come home until early morning. I heard from friends that they would see her around town, at the local bars, getting drunk and leaving with guys. She was even caught giving some guy a blowjob in a back alley outside of a dive bar. That was the last straw. That’s when I knew I couldn’t do it anymore, even though she was the mother of our children. I couldn’t jeopardize their well-being by leaving them in her care, either. Up until then, I’d thought if she got enough help, she would be cured. But that’s not the way it was.”
He looked away. “I stayed as long I did because I wanted it to work. I don’t take marriage vows lightly. And I did it for the boys.”
“So you’re separated?”
“Yes. We’re in the process of getting a divorce. She won’t sign the papers, though. Our attorneys are still in negotiation.”
“Over what?”
“Everything. I told my attorney that she could have all of our material possessions: the condo, truck, you name it. But I wanted the boys.”
“And she wouldn’t give you that?”
“No. Not even fifty percent. She filed for sole custody.”
“Oh, wow. That’s terrible.”
“It is. My attorney says it won’t happen because of her mental issues, but still, it’s been dragging out. I’m hopeful it’ll be resolved within the next few weeks and we can finally sign divorce papers.”
“How long has this been going on?”
“A year.”
“I’m sorry.”
He shrugged. “It is what it is. But it’s been hard.”
“I can only imagine.” A rush of tenderness and sympathy flooded her chest. “But why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
He met her eyes. “I told you. I didn’t want to scare you off.”
“You wouldn’t have.”
“How do I know that? What if I’d told you from day one that I was married with kids? You’re saying that wouldn’t have freaked you out, even just a little?”
“I don’t know.” She contemplated this. “I don’t think it would have made a difference.”
“I wish I’d known that.”
“I wish you hadn’t lied to me.”
“Selma, I never lied to you. I just didn’t tell you the whole picture.”
“Lying by omission is still lying.”
“In the beginning, I knew that what we had was special, but I never thought it would lead to this…to what I feel for you now.”
“And what’s that?”
He propped himself up on his elbow. “Love. True love. Intense passion.” He reached out and stroked her bottom lip. “God, you look beautiful right now.”
Warmth flooded her belly at his words and expression.
He pulled her close so their faces were inches apart. His green eyes gazed into her very soul, making her tremble with love and desire.
He stroked her hair, and then brought her face in for a lingering kiss.
She stroked her hands up under his t-shirt until she found his strong back. His skin was so warm, so nice to touch. She slid her fingers down the planes of his back, savoring the feel of his body…his aliveness. He was here with her, all of him.
His hands slid down her shoulders until they reached her breasts. She gasped at the feel of his fingers lightly stroking her hard nipples over the fabric of her turtleneck sweater.
He reached under and slowly slid his hands up her belly to her breasts. He cupped them and then began stroking the taut nipples.
She pressed her body against his and wrapped her legs around his from the side. She could feel his erection pressing against her thigh. She reached down and slid her hand along its firm length.
“I’m so hard for you, baby,” he whispered in her ear. “I want you so much.”
She inhaled and pressed her body more firmly against his…wanting--needing--to feel his masculine strength.
He pulled her on top of him so she was straddling his torso. His eyes were glazed with heat as he gazed up at her.
“My God, look at you.”
She tossed her hair, feeling beautiful under his gaze. She reached down and grasped her turtleneck by the bottom edges, and then slowly pulled it up and off.
She wasn’t wearing a bra, and he inhaled at the sight of her bare breasts with erect nipples. He slid his hands slowly over her breasts as if savoring every swell and curve.
She could feel his hard length below her now, jutting firm against her inner thigh. She pressed herself against it, arching her back.
He reached up pulled his t-shirt over his head. Bolts of desire flooded her at the sight of his delectable chiseled chest. Seeing his well-defined, masculine body over sent her over the edge. He was so handsome, all man in every way.
She inched her way down his body, pulling his jeans off as she went. Then she removed his boxer briefs. He lay nude in front of her, his firm member jutting up. She lowered her mouth to his bulbous tip and wetted it gently with her tongue.
He groaned. “Oh, baby.”
She grasped his length, desire swelling in her body. She couldn’t wait to bring him pleasure, couldn’t wait to see him writhe in ecstasy.