by Kim Law
He banged his head against the back of his chair. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”
“Never been more so, though she won’t spread anything more about us than we were seen talking together. Maybe that you touched my cheek and I didn’t slap your hand away. There’s already the flurry spreading around town that we must be getting back together, since you keep seeking me out.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m apparently playing hard to get.”
Lightness filled him for the first time since yesterday afternoon, and he couldn’t help a bit of teasing. He shot her a wink. “Want to give them something to talk about?”
Laughter shook her small shoulders, and as he watched the tension lift from her face, he realized the idea wasn’t a bad one. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and kiss her the way she was made for. The way he used to do.
And it wasn’t purely from loneliness, either. At least, he didn’t think so.
Granted, it had been a while since he’d been with a woman. He didn’t make a habit of sleeping with women on assignments, but that didn’t mean it never happened, either. But as he watched Lee Ann’s easy laughter and the way her lips curved, he cursed the immaturity that had sent him packing all those years ago. More accurately, he cursed himself for being so weak he fell for Stephanie’s manipulations in the first place.
Perhaps he and Lee Ann would have burned out over the summer, but he sure would have liked the chance to find out.
Her laughter died as he continued staring at her, and anxiety of a different kind slowly oozed down around them. Clearing his throat, he glanced away and kicked out at the swing, sending it on a lopsided back-and-forth journey. One of the outdoor pillows tipped and rolled down to the porch. As he bent over to retrieve it, he peeked back at Lee Ann and caught her watching him in a way that made his breath hitch.
She had the same look in her eyes that matched the thought running through his mind. What would it be like between them now?
Dang, he did not need to go there. But he would need her to not want to go there with him or he would lose that battle. Because one thing he knew for certain...he had never been able to keep his distance from a warm and willing Lee Ann.
Her chest quit moving up and down, and Lee Ann figured out that was because she’d quit breathing.
With a jerk, she wrenched her gaze from Cody’s and studied the chrysanthemums lining the porch steps. What had she been thinking? That she wanted to kiss Cody?
Noooo.
Surely not. What would kissing him accomplish? Besides confusing the whole situation even more?
She shook her head. No. Definitely no kissing could go on between them. Maybe their past had been left without any real closure, but that did not mean she had to do anything about it. Too many years were spread between then and now for it to matter at this point in her life. Especially not now with them about to tell the girls who he was.
The thought brought her quickly back to the present. No kissing, only parenting. Got it.
No matter how hot he looked every time she saw him.
She glanced at her watch, then shot to her feet. “They’ll be home any minute.”
Wary eyes looked up at her from the white rocker she and the girls had painted last spring. When they’d been redecorating the porch, she’d never pictured anyone like him taking up space there.
“Are you ready?” she asked. She wasn’t sure if she was herself. This was all happening so fast, but since he’d already been there almost a week, they didn’t need to put off telling them much longer. The girls needed time to get to know him, and she needed time to figure out just what kind of father he was going to be.
If he was going to be the kind to leave at the end of the year and never look back, she would prepare her girls as best she could, but she would also keep her fingers crossed that he would make it a priority to stop by and visit at least a couple of times a year. Surely he had changed enough that he could be that person. Given the fact he’d handed over a check to help with their expenses, she had to believe he’d grown up in more ways than just physically.
Slowly, he stood and gave her an uncertain lift of his shoulders. “As close as I’ll ever be, I suppose.”
She nodded. He was nervous, but there was nothing she could do about that. The next few minutes had to play out however they would. She only hoped she was doing the right thing and he didn’t totally crush the girls when he left. The idea, however, of him being right there and her never introducing the three of them to one another had suddenly been unimaginable. No matter what kind of father he was, they deserved to at least know him, didn’t they? Deserved the chance to make their own decisions about him.
She held in a groan. When had she turned into her mother? Until these last few minutes, she would have bet good money that she’d make the man jump through hoops to prove himself before she would so much as let him in the same room as her girls. Yet something had changed as they’d stood out at his car and talked.
Part of it had been the look of awe that had crossed his face as she’d told him about them, but part had been her, too. She wanted to believe in the goodness of him. She wanted her girls to have a dad, even if only a long-distance one, and she wanted him to be the man she’d once believed he would someday be.
She only hoped she wasn’t making the biggest mistake of her life.
“We should probably do this inside.” She almost reached her hand out for him again but stopped, reminding herself they were not teenagers again, no matter how close to him she’d felt as they’d been talking. “Everybody will find out soon enough, but no need to instantly share everything going on here with the whole town.”
Rising, he followed her. “Good idea.”
When they got to the kitchen, she stopped at the island in the middle of the floor and watched him take in the room. She always wondered what people thought when they saw her home for the first time. For some reason, wondering what was running through his mind made her nervous. He’d seen it the way her mother had once decorated it, which had been loud and chaotic. Lee Ann preferred things a bit more subdued. Clean lines and order yet comfort at the same time.
“I like what you’ve done with the place, Lee. It looks like you.”
Every time he called her by the shortened name he’d once used she felt a bit more of her defenses chip away. Without trying, the man was sliding under her walls.
She needed reinforcements.
Footsteps outside the house pulled both their gazes to the door. His shoulders hardened, but she had to give him credit for staying put. It had to be nerve-racking for him knowing he was about to stand in front of those two and tell them he was the man they’d been wondering about for years.
Two seconds later the back door swung open.
“Mom!” Candy shouted as she entered. “Coach said we could stay later today and practice, but I told him we had to get home to...”
The girls stopped in the middle of the room and stared.
After taking in Cody, Kendra glanced at her mother and asked, “What’s he doing here?”
Both girls stood immobile just inside the door, their brown eyes identical to the ones Cody saw in the mirror each morning blinking back at him. One of them had a basketball, slick with use, tucked under an arm and a backpack slung over her shoulder, her coat buttoned up the front. The other carried no books but had several notebooks in her hands with papers sticking out at every angle, and her coat tied around her waist. From his short time with them the afternoon before, he already knew which was which, even though they looked exactly the same.
His throat tightened, nerves closing off his airway. They were not going to take this well. Who would? He was about to mess up their world.
A cold sweat began at the back of his neck, but he fought off the panic. They were just two young girls. He could handle this.
“Mom?” Candy shuffled closer to her mother. She dropped her backpack to the floor and wore a mix of curiosity and worry on her face. “What’s going on?�
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He looked at Lee Ann then, uncertain if he was supposed to just blurt it out or if she was going to tell them. They hadn’t had time to think this through. Maybe they should wait and save it for another day.
Before he could back out of the decision to tell them now, Lee Ann stepped over between the girls and wrapped an arm around the waist of each. Though her stance said relaxed and her mouth wore a curve, she looked like a mother bear ready to protect her cubs. “We have something to tell you.”
Lee Ann glanced at each girl, both of whom surpassed her in height, and he couldn’t miss seeing Stephanie in them. She’d been half a foot taller than Lee Ann. Tall and lithe, while Lee Ann was petite and more curvy. Candy and Kendra would have a body shape like their biological mother when they grew up.
“Lee Ann, wait.” It seemed wrong to so bluntly explain that Stephanie had been a bald-faced liar and that he was their father. The one who’d never known anything about them.
A perfectly shaped eyebrow arched before him.
“Maybe we shouldn’t,” he said.
“Shouldn’t what?” This came from Kendra. She tossed her papers on the kitchen table and inched closer to her mother.
Lee Ann shook her head. “I don’t hide things from them, Cody. Not without a really good reason.” She nodded. “It’s time. It’ll be okay.”
She squeezed both girls tight to her side and kept her fingertips dug slightly into their waists. He couldn’t tell if the act was from nerves or maybe a fear that they’d attempt to run out of the room the minute they knew.
“The fact is...” she began, then paused, clearly without a clue of the best way to proceed, either. She lifted one shoulder at him and shot him a questioning look. All he could think was to just blurt it out. Like ripping off a Band-Aid. Then they could deal with it.
With the slightest nod of her head, as if she understood his thoughts, she did exactly that. “Cody is your father.”
The sound of the clock ticking in the room was all he heard for several long seconds as what their mother had said registered with the girls. Then two sets of feminine eyes fastened on him. The girls were looking at him as if he’d come to the house specifically to screw with their existence. For five seconds more he stood in utter silence, and then the room of estrogen became too much for him to form a single cohesive thought.
“And what?” Candy finally asked. Her tone was not accepting. “You didn’t want anything to do with us before, but we’re supposed to jump with joy that you do now? Oh, yay. Or do you still want nothing to do with us? Maybe you just wanted to drop in and say hi then be gone again. Just like you have the first thirteen years of our lives.”
Lee Ann had warned him that they were tough. He licked his dry lips.
“It wasn’t like that,” he began. How was he supposed to explain this without making Stephanie look worse than she was? He shot Lee Ann a pleading look, hoping for a little help. He had no idea what to say.
She cleared her throat. “They know Steph was a good person in her own way,” she said, “but too many stories are known around here for them to think she was an angel.” She looked at both girls. “This is one time she truly wasn’t.”
“What do you mean?” Kendra asked. Her voice was more childlike than it had been before. He curled his fingers into his palms with frustration. There had to have been a much better way they could have handled this.
“I have no idea why,” Lee Ann said. “But your biological mother...apparently never told Cody about you.”
Hurt eyes turned to Lee Ann. “But you said—”
“Yes,” she said, nodding. “Because that’s what Steph told both me and your grandmother. She swore she’d told him.” Slim shoulders he’d once had the right to pull close lifted and settled back into place. She looked so lost trying to explain this to them. “I have no idea why she lied, but she did.”
“No way,” Kendra muttered.
“I swear,” he jumped in. “I had no idea until you told me about Stephanie being your mother.”
“If that’s the case, then why hadn’t you told him already, Mom? And why didn’t you tell us? He’s been here for days. We had the right to know.” Candy was laying into Lee Ann now, and he wanted to reach out to her. Protect her. But it likely would help nothing if his daughters saw him touching their mother. Not to mention the mother might just slap him right out of her house.
“I thought he knew,” Lee Ann whispered. “I didn’t want to say anything until I knew what he was back for. If he didn’t want anything to do with you...”
Her words trailed off, and she gave her daughters an apologetic look. She finished with, “It’s not easy knowing the best thing to do all the time.”
“And you believe him?” Candy asked. “Just like that? Why not believe Stephanie instead?”
Pain flickered across Lee Ann’s features. “Your biological mother rarely told me the truth about anything. I should have known better when it happened, but I wanted to believe she’d contacted him. I wanted your mother to care that much.”
“But then that meant he didn’t care,” Candy rebutted.
“Yes,” Lee Ann agreed. “But since he was gone, and Stephanie was family, it was easier to believe her. But Cody’s explained it to me. He never talked to her. I believe him.”
Kendra matched her sister’s glare as they both stood silently beside their mother. She then lowered her eyes and leaned forward to made eye contact with her sister. Time stood still as the two communicated with a look before Kendra settled back in place. Nothing had been spoken, but it was clear they’d come to some agreement. He only hoped it was to believe him instead of tell him to hit the road.
Relaxing his features, he smiled at the two young ladies he may not have known what to do with but did know he wanted to get to know. Desperately. He also recognized the odd desire of hoping they felt the same way. “I truly am happy to meet you.”
They shrugged out from under their mother’s grasp and stepped forward together, both crossing their arms over their narrow chests, matching a stance he’d seen many times on Lee Ann.
“We need some time to adjust to this,” Candy said, and his heart fell. He silently prayed that at the end of their adjustment, he would come out on the good end of things.
He nodded. “I understand. It’s a pretty big shock. For all of us.”
At his last words, Kendra’s face crinkled up in concentration. “That’s right. We didn’t think about that. You just found out about us, too.”
That meant that they believed him. Pressure lifted from his shoulders as a breath whooshed from his chest. He nodded anxiously. “That’s right. I’m as blown away as you are.”
“Hmmm,” she said. She seemed to be more willing than her sister to give him a chance, as her shoulders had softened a bit. Candy remained motionless and a bit squinty-eyed.
Her distrust didn’t keep her from jumping back into the conversation, though. “We still need time to think about it.”
He nodded again. “Absolutely. You know where I live. I’ll give you all the time you need. You just let me or your mom know when I can come back and visit with you and I’ll be right here.” He smiled then, and it came out feeling normal. “I really do want to get to know you both. I hope you decide that you want that, too.”
He gave Lee Ann a quick look, then began backing toward the door. Seemed the best thing was to get out of there before any of them changed their minds completely and told him never to come back.
“Wait.” Kendra took a step toward him. “You can’t just go. You’re still coming for Thanksgiving tomorrow, right?”
He blinked. Was he still invited? He looked at Lee Ann and she gave a single nod. He looked at Candy. She seemed to be the one with the most concern about the whole situation.
“What do you think, Candy?” He couldn’t believe he was considering begging to come to Thanksgiving dinner. “Should I come on down or wait for you to call me?”
Her face read bullheaded and st
ubborn, but Kendra turned pleading eyes to her. “He’s got to come, Can. Then he can also dance with us at our birthday party, and it’ll be so much better than Sadie’s.”
She turned to him. “You will come to our party and dance with us, right? A father-daughter dance.”
It was almost too much to take in at once, but the sight of those gazes staring up at him—one hopeful and excited, the other uncertain and not quite trusting—did something to his insides. Something squishy yet nice.
These were his daughters, and he wanted to do whatever they’d possibly allow him to while he was in town. He nodded. He wanted to dance with them at their party. “If you both agree that you’d like me there, then yes, I would love to come dance with you at your party. I would be honored to, in fact.”
Afraid Lee Ann would be able to read every emotion currently running through him, he kept his gaze averted and focused on his daughters. He needed to get out of there and think. What he needed was to get Boss and go for a really long run.
He had two girls. The idea still blew him away.
Yet one of them also seemed to want little to do with him. That could be a problem. He could only hope she came around, because he couldn’t imagine not having them both in his life at this point.
Lee Ann watched the man in front of her and alternated between wanting to turn back time to keep him from showing up in their lives and wanting to rush forward and welcome him into the family. Whether he wanted her to see or not, she could tell this meant something to him. Just as it meant something to the girls.
And whether they were both ready to admit it or not, it meant the world to them. They now had a dad.
What remained to be seen was how active a dad he would be. They had time, though, to figure out the logistics.
“Candy?” she asked. “You’re good with him coming over tomorrow, right?”
At her daughter’s snarled look, Lee Ann reminded her that they didn’t like people to have to be alone on the holiday and Candy grudgingly nodded.