Zach kept her close to him, laying his hand on her thigh or tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. When his blue eyes caught hers, there was softness in them and for Claire that was it. The defining moment when she knew she was in love with him, that she would rather die than be without him. Did he love her too? He'd never said it. Well, neither had she, she justified.
Her palms grew sweaty. She wiped them on her napkin and chewed her bottom lip. If he loved her, why wouldn't he turn her now? Why would he deny not only her, but himself? What the hell kind of Life Mate was he, anyway? Zach leaned over to whisper in her ear.
"You okay, honey?" Claire shivered when he grazed the rim of her ear lightly with his tongue. She took his big hand in hers and squeezed it, smiling brightly.
"How could I not be okay? I just had the best meal I've had in a long time with people who seem to think I'm just peachy, mortal or not. I feel wonderful," she said with warmth, her throat catching on the words.
Zach's smiled in return. "I'm glad honey, and of course they love you, why wouldn't they? Now let's get this mess cleaned up so I can take you home and schtup your brains out."
Claire laughed at him. "It's feeding time for the MONSTER, isn't it?" His wicked grin set her heart aflutter.
Zach went off to help his father while Claire helped the women clean up. It was while she was rooting around the fridge that it hit her. Fast as lightning, the world tilted, and she wasn't in the Kowalski kitchen anymore.
She was floating across a hard floor... In a ballroom, twirling in circles as strong hands led her in a waltz. Her heavy skirts swayed as the music thundered in her ears. Firm hands caught her at her waist as the dance came to an end. Peeking up, she saw Zach's face, clear as the nose on her face. Smiling down at her and saying something...
Claire grabbed for what she thought was Zach, to steady her shaking legs, but instead she felt the hard cool metal of the refrigerator door and distantly heard the clatter of knocked jars and bottles. She leaned against it as she tried to right herself. Olivia rushed over to lay a cool hand on her head.
"Claire, honey, are you all right? What happened?" Her question was filled with concern.
As Olivia's face came into focus she shook her head.
"I'm fine, Olivia. I just lost my balance."
Good cover Claire, you master manipulator.
Olivia's gentle hands tugged at Claire, forcing her to sit at the kitchen table.
Claire smiled up at her. "I'm fine, really."
Olivia cupped her chin in her hand, "How about some coffee?"
How about a good stiff drink instead? "Great," she answered. Coffee and a shot of whiskey, please.
* * * *
Zach sat quietly with his father, knowing what he had to do. "Look, Pop, I won't let whoever the hell it is take Claire from me again. I'm going to tell her," he said resolutely. Jacob Kowalski's slapped the newspaper on the hard oak desk and jumped up.
"Zachariah, I won't let you do that, you're endangering your life and I won't have it!" Jacob thundered, his face set in a scowl.
Zach didn't give a shit anymore. Claire was what he lived and breathed for and he wouldn't go another freaking minute without knowing she was safe.
"Damn it, Pop, would you rather see me suffer?"
Jacob shook his head and put a hand on his son's shoulder, gripping it firmly.
"You know damn well I don't. Don't you think it kills your mother and me to watch you ride this roller coaster? Moping from lifetime to lifetime until she shows up again? How can you even ask that, Zach? We love her too."
Zach felt helplessness sink to the pit of his belly.
"I know you do Pop, I'm sorry. But no one really knows exactly what will happen if I tell her, do they? It's all just some damn legend that we have no proof even really exists."
A weak defense at best, but screw this. He loved Claire and he would burn in the flames of hell before he let her go again. Fuck fate.
"Don't go off half-cocked until we know more. No, we don't have any proof that telling Claire about her past lives will set fate on its ear. But we don't have any that says it won't either. You've known this all of your life, Zach. The key is finding out who kills her, or where she disappears to. I've got feelers out Zach, please trust me. If it's in my power, I'll find them this time."
"And what if you don't, Pop? I lose Claire again, and the years between her coming and going are getting further and further apart. You can't step down as head of the breed if I don't have a Life Mate, and I can't have a Life Mate if Claire disappears or dies," he barked in frustration.
A knock at the door startled them both; Claire stood in the doorway, her face ashen. "I ... I came to tell ... you..." she gulped for air, "...that coffee..." Claire fell to the floor in a heap as Zach and his father rushed to her side.
Chapter 5
Claire fought her way to the surface, caught somewhere between a lurking haze and the fringes of reality. Cool water washed her cheeks and she fought wildly as strong hands attempted to soothe her.
"Claire baby, it's okay ... shhh, honey, it's Zach." Strong arms rocked her as she tried to orient herself. She held onto the familiar warmth of Zach, clutching at his shirt. She was on his bed, she'd know that comforter anywhere.
If Claire dies... It hit her like a ton of bricks. Claire's head bobbed upward and a sharp pain sliced through her forehead. If Claire dies... Holy shit! Zach and his father had been talking, and she had come to get them for coffee. And she heard Zach clearly say if Claire dies.
"What the hell is going on, Zach?" She felt weak and sluggish, her tongue thick and uncooperative.
"Claire, listen to me." Claire struggled with him, shaking her head.
"No Zach, tell me what the hell is going on, or I'm going back to my apartment and never seeing you again!" Oh God. Her chest tightened painfully at the very thought. She couldn't live without him, didn't even want to think about it, but living was the matter at hand here.
"Tell me what's happening, right now. What kind of Life Mate are you if you're talking about my death!" Her hysteria mounted with each word she spat at him. She gripped his arms and shouted at him.
"I heard you. I heard you say if Claire dies. What is going on?" Tears began to stream down her face, fear clenched her heart. All at once she had a semblance of understanding. The vision of Zach in another time and place. The odd sense that she knew his family. Something was terribly wrong here.
* * * *
Zach's gut was tied up into knots over what to do. Screw fate and screw losing the woman he loved. Fate be damned. "Claire, I need you to calm down, please. I'll tell you everything if you'll just calm down."
Claire's big black eyes brimmed with fear stared at him, wide-eyed.
"Calm down," she yelped, "how the hell am I supposed to calm down? I just heard I'm going to die. I will not calm down. Who is calm when they hear they're going to die? Do you have a list of names of the people who take that news lightly?"
Her eyes were wild with fury, pushing Zach away she sat at the edge of the bed. He grabbed her hands in his and she stopped fighting him. Instead she clung to him.
"Just sit here next to me and listen to me, okay?" Her small frame shuddered, then she nodded her head in consent. Zach took a deep breath, exhaling slowly.
"When I said I was your Life Mate, that was the truth. We've known each other for centuries... You've lived many lives, Claire, and every few lifetimes we meet, fall in love..." Claire's hands shook violently; he tightened his grip.
"And? What happens after we fall in love, Zach, ya know, the death thing?" Her voice was thick with raw fear. Zach rubbed her hands. There was no easy way to tell her. He rushed headlong into the inevitable and prayed with every fiber of his being he was doing the right thing.
"You give me a hard time about wanting to turn immediately. We can't mate until the moon is full, and then and only then will it be successful. When I turn you, it's a draining process for me. My narcolepsy makes it that much m
ore of a strain on my body. I fall into a deep sleep after the turn and so do you..." He watched her take deep breaths; her breasts rose and fell rapidly. She slid closer to him on the bed, and leaned against him heavily.
"So I guess we've gotten to the turning stage of this in one of my past lives?" She rubbed her neck distractedly.
"Yes," he answered truthfully. "But that's only happened once, the first time. I tried to turn you and we were almost successful. I woke to find you..." Zach pulled her tightly to him, resting his head on the top of hers, and closed his eyes.
"Dead." She finished for him with a shudder.
"What happened to me, Zach?"
"You were bitten ... again."
"Again?"
Zach raked his hand through his hair. "Yes, you were bitten again after I bit you, and because it happened before the entire turn took place, you died as a result. The venom from the second bite was apparently deadly. You see, if you're a mortal, some vampire venom can be deadly. Whatever was left in you that was still mortal, was what the venom attacked." Claire gripped his shirt, her knuckles white from the effort.
"Okay, so what about the rest of my lives? How was I killed then? How come you didn't turn me those other times? How the hell many lives have I had anyway?"
Zach's laugh was hoarse; he cupped her chin and looked her in the eye.
"Baby, if I knew that, do you think for one second I'd let whoever is responsible live? I'd kill the bastard... The only thing I can think of is you go off in your rush to be turned--because you think I don't want, really want, you to be my Life Mate--and find a rogue breed of vamp to do it. Somehow you always slip away from me, just disappear. But I couldn't tell you that." Zach's throat tightened.
Shit. This would not happen again, he would not lose her.
"Why haven't you warned me in all these past lives I've been skipping through? Why wouldn't you just tell me about all of this? Why would you let me keep making the same stupid mistake?" Claire's cheeks were wet with tears. Okay, this was it, Zach thought, no more waiting, no more fucking around. "Fate, Claire, I've just tampered with fate."
* * * *
Fate? Claire shook her head in confusion. "Fate? Isn't that what you said brought us together? What the hell is fate's problem? Fate doesn't like a warm fuzzy, a happy ending?" Zach wiped the tears from her cheeks with loving care.
"According to legend, if I tell you about your past lives and warn you against your disappearance or death, then I'm interfering. In essence, I'm toying with fate."
Claire looked around the room warily, as though Fate was going to jump out at her from behind a chair and say Boo. They sat silently side by side, waiting for ... for what? Her to give in to this fate character and lay down and die? Bullshit!
Claire's cheeks blushed red with anger as she shrugged off his hands and yelled, "Fuck Fate, Zach, you should have told me. I mean, my God, you just let me die or disappear? What the hell kind of Life Mate are you?"
Zach's jaw clenched tightly.
"Legend says that if I don't allow fate to take its course, you won't come back to me in the next life. It was a choice every time. It gave me another chance to play the game with you, or lose you forever." His deep tenor cracked with those words.
"I just couldn't risk never seeing you again, never being with you. I couldn't take that kind of chance. Maybe I made the wrong choice, maybe I'm just damn selfish, but I'd rather have a couple of weeks with you every lifetime or so, than spend eternity without you. So sue me," he spat at her.
Claire fought to make sense of it all. Okay, so fate was fucking with her chance for happiness. Well bullshit on that.
"Legend? What legend is this, is it vampire legend?" Claire slapped her thigh with the palm of her hand. "Of course it is, it's not human, that's for sure. So now, just by your telling me, I'm doomed? Do I just keel over at any second here? Or am I going to be murdered again?"
Hell's Bells, she was going to be murdered! Well, not if she had anything to say about it, by hell.
"I don't know, but if fate wants you, then it will have to take me too. I won't live without you. I don't know what I've just done by telling you, but I don't give a shit anymore, I've played by the rules till now. Now I'll make my own. If fate wants you, then I go with you." His face, set with determination, made Claire's heart tighten in her chest. There had to be a way for them to win this.
"What are you going to do vampire, commit suicide? Eat some garlic, bathe in Holy water? You idiot, I wouldn't ever let you do something so stupid. We'll figure this out. Besides, you told me and the world hasn't come to a screeching halt. I'm still breathing right? Maybe fate is done with us?" Claire tried to smile reassuringly, but she had the sinking feeling it wasn't over by a long shot. This was insanity, plain and simple.
"I remember some things, Zach, from our past." Zach's handsome face looked confused.
"Like?" he asked with a frown.
"I remember dancing with you. A waltz, I think. And I remember you helping me onto a horse. I remember thinking you were the most handsome man I'd ever seen, and when I was with you I wasn't afraid of anything. Haven't I told you this in one of my past lives?"
Zach tugged her close, shaking his head, no. She buried her face in the solid comfort of his chest.
"Why didn't you tell me about these memories?"
Claire sighed. "I thought you would think I was crazy. Although looking back on it now, I don't know why I could possibly think that," she snorted. "It doesn't get much crazier than being a vampire. I guess I thought you might think I was trying to convince you to turn me earlier. You know, make a play for the Life Mate thing. It only happened twice and we've only spent a few days together. I wasn't sure exactly what was happening, but now it all makes sense. Meeting your family was like coming home again, ya know?" Zach toyed with her hair absently.
"It is coming home for you, Claire, and I won't let you go."
Claire looked up at him. It was time to slap her forensics cap on and look at this objectively. Like she did with the people who came into the morgue.
"You have no idea where I disappear to? I mean none at all?"
Zach shook his head.
"I wake up and find you gone. You have to remember I have narcolepsy, I sleep the sleep of the dead, for real. Even though I'm a vampire, the narcolepsy makes turning you that much more taxing on my body. The first time I turned you, I fell into a deep sleep and woke to find you dead." She held up her hand to stop him.
"Okay, Okay I get it." Coroner or not, thinking about your own death was downright gruesome.
Claire thought about Zach's statement for a minute.
"It has to be another vampire, who else would have the ability to come back century after century to do me in, or make me 'disappear'? Someone who knows about your narcolepsy and uses it to their advantage. Someone who knows you won't wake up and save me."
"It could be someone who's reincarnated and destined to kill you," he suggested quietly.
Oh goody. That only left like a million and one possibilities.
"Does anyone have a grudge against you for anything? I mean, an enemy of some kind?' This was beginning to sound like a bad rerun of Columbo, and she was no Charlie's Angel.
"Honey, if I knew that I'd find the bastard and kill him, or them, or whoever it is. The Kowalski's have no enemies as far as I know. We go back a long, long way in history, but we're not known for waging war."
Claire sighed loudly. This was all too much for her to take in right now, her bones felt mushy and her eyes felt like they'd been pried open with toothpicks.
"So we have a week or so to figure this out before I'm kaput, or I just disappear into thin air?"
Zach cringed at that. "Give or take, and I don't know what I've done by screwing with fate and telling you."
Oh boy, this was grim for sure.
They sat quietly together, each pondering the inevitable outcome.
Claire began to giggle, whether from shock or the beginnings of
insanity, she laughed out loud.
"What was I like in all these past lives? Do I look the same each time?" She said between giggles. Zach's eyebrows lifted.
"No, not always."
Claire couldn't help it, she needed to know.
"Have I ever been a blonde supermodel?"
Zach shook his head.
"Um, nope, no supermodels, sometimes your hair is darker, longer. But you're always short, and curvy." Zach wiggled his eyebrows at her.
"Then how do you know it's me? I mean you could be getting the wrong Life Mate outta the deal."
"Nope, can't happen. I can smell you, baby, all vampires can smell their Life Mates." He sniffed at her neck, making her shiver. She started to laugh again, her shoulders shaking. Zach seemed confused, making her laugh harder.
Between fits of laughter she said, "Ya know what, doesn't it just figure? I'm doomed throughout all history to be short and curvy. You would think fate would gimme a break and make me a tall, willowy supermodel. Maybe fate might like to take a stab at letting me see if blondes really do have more fun?"
* * * *
Claire slept fitfully, plagued by broken dreams of lost centuries and death. She woke, checking that all limbs were intact, and that she wasn't floating around on some puffy white cloud. Zach lay beside her, his solid body pressed possessively close to her back. It was going to take some getting used to this barely breathing thing. If fate gave her the chance, that is.
Zach had rounded up a posse of fellow vamps to keep a close eye on them. Jarrod offered his apartment for them to stay in, and now stood watch on the balcony while his friends camped out in the living room. No way in or out, or at least she hoped that was the case. Zach had confessed to his friends and family about telling Claire who she was. A hushed silence had fallen over the room, each vampire knowing Zach had done the unthinkable and tampered with fate.
The full moon was a week away. They had some time to piece this puzzle together, or she disappeared or... Died. And this time it was probably for good. Zach had messed with fate or some such crap, which meant her chances of being reincarnated in the future had just been whittled to a stump. Why hadn't Zach done something like this before? Why had he ever let her out of his sight?
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