Someone Like me

by Lesley Cheetham

  ‘You don’t have to stop.’ Michael was wearing jeans and a t-shirt and his hair was damp. ‘Sara wants you to go shopping with her, Malika, help her buy a present for your cousin. So I thought I’d take Jasmine out on the Bateaux Mouches.’

  I looked up at him. ‘What’s that?’

  ‘The tourist boat, the one I showed you on the river,’ said Malika. ‘You’ll love it.’

  ‘Don’t you want to come?’

  ‘I promised Maman I’d help her. She has no idea what to get Chloe. You go with dad.’

  ‘It’s our last day,’ he said, ‘and we haven’t spent much time together have we? Malika has been keeping you all to yourself.’ He smiled, but sounded nervous.

  ‘OK,’ I said. The boat would be fun, and I didn’t have to talk to him.

  We sat up on the deck, a breeze blowing through my hair and I breathed deeply. Michael handed me a can of coke and sat down next to me. I sat slightly at a distance from him. We opened our drinks and I took a long mouthful. The cold liquid tasted delicious.

  The commentary drifted across me, I tuned into the English descriptions of ancient bridges and buildings every now and then. I studied Michael, still feeling uncomfortable. He was in good shape for an oldie. He wasn’t bad looking and in different circumstances I would have been proud that he was my dad. He looked across at me.

  ‘I will make things up to you Jas.’

  ‘Is it true that you wanted to keep in touch with me?’

  ‘Honestly, Jasmine, I swear on Malika’s life.’

  ‘Mum said the same thing,’ I said quietly. He reached over and took my hand. I let him. His hand felt strong and warm, protective.

  ‘It broke my heart to leave you, not to see you grow up, your first words, your first steps, all those important landmarks in your life that I missed out on.’

  I sighed. ‘You could have stayed in touch, Christmas, birthdays.’ The boat sailed under another bridge. There were tents on the embankment, a dog tied to a post.

  ‘I had little choice. My own mother was taking

  Caroline’s side. The stress was making me ill; I had to

  get on with my life. I thought about you every day, Jasmine.’

  He was squeezing my hand with emotion and I realised with horror that he had tears in his eyes. ‘Could we start again do you think?’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Put the past behind us. A new beginning. Now that I’ve found you again, I don’t want to lose you.’

  My stomach was churning inside. His words were taking my heartstrings and twisting them, but I couldn’t stop thinking about all that other stuff I knew about him. How could I make a fresh start when all the time I was investigating him?

  ‘Eh Jasmine, what do you say?’

  I was glad I still had shades on to hide my eyes behind. I didn’t want him to see my dilemma. I nodded.

  The boat drifted along past more impressive buildings on the banks, and I tuned back into the commentary, Michael pointing out the odd landmark.

  ‘Michael,’ I said.

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘I would like to come back to Amersham with you, stay for a few days. As long as I won’t get in the way of your move.’

  His mouth twitched at the corners. He didn’t need to answer.

  I felt lighter as we entered the hotel. Getting to know Michael was complicating my theories. I chewed on my lip. Could he possibly be innocent? I was starting to hope so. The ringtone of Michael’s phone interrupted my thoughts. He stopped to take the call.

  ‘Sara? Sara calm down, what is it? OK, I’m in the foyer now, I’m coming up.’

  He turned to me, his face pale and etched with worry.

  ‘Something terrible has happened.’ Bypassing the lift, he bounded towards the staircase and hurtled through the door, leaving it swinging behind him. Not Malika? I thought, and charged after him.

  CHAPTER 26

  Sara was sobbing in her hotel room, Malika at her side. I loitered in the doorway, my heart rate slowing down to a more normal level. She rushed over and threw her arms around Michael and spoke rapidly in French. I hovered around the doorway, feeling like a big fat gooseberry. Malika came outside and closed the door behind her.

  ‘What’s happened?’

  The police called to tell her there had been an accident. In Lille. It’s her brother Ali. He’s been in a car crash and . . .’ she stifled a sob and wiped at her nose. ‘He’s dead. He drove into a tree. There were no witnesses, so we won’t know any more until the police have investigated.’ She sank to the floor and I sat beside her.

  ‘Are you close to him?’

  He shook his head. ‘No, I haven’t seen him for ages, but it’s still a shock. Mum has a friend in Lille and she usually goes to see him when she’s staying with her. He lives on his own.’

  ‘Would you like some tea? Mum always says tea is good for shock.’

  Malika managed a smile. ‘That’s very English. I’ll stay here,’ she said.

  I took the lift and went out of the hotel. There was a McDonalds around the corner and it was easier for me to buy stuff from there. I stood outside and gulped down some fresh air. A feeling of aloneness had descended on me.

  Malika was still sitting outside the room when I got back. I put the tea down next to her and took the other two cups inside. Sara was sitting with her back to the door. I pulled the door to behind me and sat down next to Malika.

  ‘I’m upset for Maman. I can’t bear to see her so sad. I think at times like this she misses Nora more than ever.’

  ‘Aren’t the rest of her family in Morocco?’

  She nodded. ‘Nora and Ali came over here together. Nora used to live in Lille, before she went missing. Ali used to visit more often when Nora was around, but he stopped coming so much after that.’

  ‘He must have missed her terribly too.’

  She nodded. ‘I suppose so.’

  Michael came back out. ‘Malika, can you come in here a moment? Sorry Jasmine, we won’t be long.’

  ‘That’s OK,’ I said. ‘I’m going downstairs for a bit.’

  Sadiestyle hadn’t been updated since I last looked. That was unusual. I logged onto my email to have a look at Sadie’s account. The password was rejected. My skin felt hot. I tried it again, making sure to correctly type the letters. A message flashed up:

  Password changed two days ago

  Anxiety hit me like a punch. I took some deep breaths. Had she found out I’d been hacking into her account? I clicked backed onto her fashion blog and looked at her photograph. I thought back to what Mark and Malika had both said about my hair. Red didn’t suit me. I wondered if she was back from Ibiza, then I stopped myself. I was supposed to be forgetting Sadie.

  Someone tapped me on the shoulder. It was Michael. I minimized the screen.

  ‘How is Sara?’ I asked.

  ‘She’s OK,’ he said. ‘We’ll have to go to Lille. I’m going to drive her there in the morning. There’s not much she can do tonight. The police want her to identify the body and I think she would be better having a night’s sleep to prepare herself.’

  ‘If she can sleep,’ I said. He looked at me.

  ‘I’m sorry your stay has been so short,’ he said. ‘We need a long while to get to know each other again but I think we had just about made a start, don’t you?’

  ‘Yeah.’ My voice sounded gruff. ‘What about Malika?’

  He sighed. ‘Sara doesn’t want her to go to Lille. She thinks it will be too upsetting for her. I’ll be coming back to England but not for a day or so. We haven’t worked out what to do yet.’

  ‘She can come back with me! We can stay with Mark, he wont mind, honestly, and Mum will be back mid-week. Then we can come back to Amersham together.’ I looked at him, willing him to say yes.

  ‘Are you sure? That might work. We can drop you off at the station on our way to Lille. I’ll give Caroline a ring, let her know what’s going on.’ He pulled up a chair next to me. ‘How is your mo
ther? I know I have no right to ask, but I would like to know.’

  I sighed. ‘She’s OK. She works too hard but she has friends.’

  ‘What about you, do you have friends?’

  ‘Tess is my best friend, but she doesn’t live near me any more. She’s back for the summer though, which is why I wanted to stay at her brother’s. She’ll love Malika.’

  It felt OK, talking to Michael, letting him take a few steps into my life. ‘How long will you stay in Lille?’

  ‘I’ll get Sara settled in – she can stay with Chantal for as long as she needs. To be honest, I think it will do her good. It helps having Malika sorted actually, it will help take her mind off everything and Sara won’t have to worry about her.’

  ‘So when will you be coming?’

  ‘I don’t know for sure. I have some business in England next Friday. I’ll let you know.’ He pushed the chair back. ‘I’d better go and see how Sara is. I need to help her pack.’

  As I watched him go I felt a little warm glow inside me. Then I remembered. Crimewatch. That picture sprang into my mind every time I had a good thought about Michael. I was going to have to prove his innocence and the sooner I did it the better.

  CHAPTER 27

  ‘Don’t you just love English weather,’ announced Malika. The train had just emerged from the Eurotunnel and was speeding through the British countryside, sheets of rain lashing against the windows. My phone beeped as soon as I switched it back on. A text from Mum.

  Arriving back on Monday. I’ll text you flight times later when I can find them.

  I showed Malika.

  ‘Doesn’t it bother you? Has she always been so vague?’

  A picture of Mum, bottle of wine in hand framed in the kitchen doorway at home sprang into my mind. I looked away.

  ‘What is it?’

  ‘I think Mum drinks too much,’ I said quietly. Saying it aloud felt like I was releasing a burst of air.

  ‘I don’t mean she staggers around the streets with a bottle under her arm, shouting at people, she goes to work and does normal things, she just drinks too much, that’s all.’

  ‘Does she get violent?’

  ‘No, never! It’s not like that, It’s hard to explain, but I don’t remember a day ever, when she didn’t have a drink.’

  ‘Maman has the odd glass of wine with dinner, she’s not the best example of a good Muslim.’

  ‘When did you start wearing a headscarf?’

  ‘When I was ten. Mum used to talk about Aunt Nora a lot. I hated seeing her so unhappy and every day I prayed for her to feel better. I started reading about Islam more and that’s when I decided. I feel more comfortable wearing my scarf, protected somehow.’

  ‘There are a few Muslim girls at my school and they all wear it, it’s part of the uniform. And forget what I just said – about her drinking I mean. You’re not worried about coming now are you? Mum’s alright really, and she won’t care what you you wear.’

  ‘She won’t be expecting someone like me though, will she?’

  Malika dozed with her head against the window. I opened her laptop to look at my emails. Tess and Fiona had both written to me.

  Hi Jas,

  I so wish you were here! Mark is furious because Khaled hasn’t been to band practice since the row at the party – I know he blames you – so I’m keeping out of his way as much as I can. But I don’t care about any of that because Josh is now MY BOYFRIEND!!! He is adorable and I can’t wait for you to meet him properly. We’ve been hanging out at his place – would you believe they have a swimming pool! I don’t want his family ever to come back from holiday so that we can hang out here together for the rest of the summer. I’m trying to persuade him to have a pool party but he’s not convinced…yet!

  As regards the other stuff: I asked Fiona about information on Khaled – see her response below. I haven’t heard from Helen but Fiona has been in touch with her.

  Bad news about Sara’s brother, but it means I get to see you sooner . . .

  Love Tess xxxxx

  Fiona’s email followed on:

  Hi Tess,

  This is what I know about Khaled. He is a RAT. His mum lives up North and he won’t talk about her – he stays with a foster family now. I asked him once about his dad – big mistake. No sisters and brothers, he’s got a cousin. He lives in one of those flats up by our old school with his foster mum. He’s very protective of her – he got into a fight once when one of his friends dissed her. I haven’t spoken to him since we split and I hope I never see him again.

  Helen said the police have been back to see her and said they know more about the boyfriend now, but she still made out she didn’t know what his name was. Let me know when Jasmine is back.

  Fiona.

  That was the second example of Khaled losing his temper. And he obviously hadn’t had an easy childhood.

  I sent Tess a text to tell her we were on our way home. She replied straight away.

  At last! Josh is having another party tomorrow night.

  So Sadie still wasn’t home. It was hard to stop tracking her when her brother was now involved with Tess. I tried logging into her account again but the password had definitely been changed. A cold feeling crept through my stomach, it looked like I wasn’t going to have any choice. Determined now I logged onto Facebook. With disbelief I stared at the screen. Sadie had changed her status to single. Quickly I clicked on her ‘friends’ page. AJ was no longer there. What had happened in Ibiza?

  I closed the laptop down and shut my eyes, my head propped against the headrest.

  The train arrived at St Pancras on time and as we were lugging our cases through the barrier, a voice called out my name.

  ‘Tess!’ I screamed. Tess and Mark were waving a large piece of cardboard in the air. ‘Jasmine and Malika’ was written in large letters. Tess stood out in orange today – a floaty top and a swirly skirt. A whoosh of emotion overwhelmed me. I hugged Tess and grinned awkwardly at Mark who was standing behind her.

  ‘This is Malika, my sister,’ I said proudly. She let go of her case and proceeded to give Tess and then Mark two kisses each. Mark took our cases and led the way through the station, where a car was parked.

  ‘It’s Mark’s,’ said Tess. ‘He passed his test last year. I didn’t think we’d make it – I had to persuade him to drive as fast as possible …’ she paused to wink at me, ‘but he didn’t need much persuading.’

  I pretended I hadn’t noticed. Tess and I jumped into the back of the car, letting Malika have the front seat. Mark sped off with a screech of tyres just as a traffic warden appeared and was about to tap the car registration number into his machine.

  ‘Lucky,’ said Mark, ‘that would have cost me a fortune.’

  Tess bombarded Malika with questions. As we neared home I turned to Tess.

  ‘You’ve been very good,’ I said, ‘you haven’t mentioned lover boy once.’

  ‘Oh you mean Josh,’ she said, her face coming to life, ‘Josh with the ripped muscles and the chiselled cheekbones, my boyfriend Josh.’ She giggled loudly.

  ‘Please Tess,’ said Mark, ‘you’re putting me off my driving. I’m glad you’re back Jasmine,’ he said and I ignored Tess who was digging me in the ribs. ‘She’s been unbearable since she met him, maybe you can talk some sense into her.’

  ‘Is he still in your band?’ I asked.

  He nodded. ‘Khaled’s back too. I had to do a lot of grovelling on Tess’s behalf, but I persuaded him to stop being an idiot.’

  ‘Stop exaggerating,’ Tess said. ‘You know he was in the wrong.’ I prodded her and gave her a warning look. I didn’t want her drawing any more attention to Khaled than was necessary. Mark caught my eyes in the mirror and gestured with his head towards Malika, she was fast asleep. After that we all kept quiet and watched first the sun and then a rainbow emerge over the shiny wet streets. I was glad to be back after all and even gladder that Mum wouldn’t be home for a while. Mark unloaded the car while Tess sho
wed us to our room.

  ‘You’ll have to share, I’m afraid.’ It was a small room with one single bed. ‘There’s a camp bed underneath the bed,’ she said.

  ‘Are you both up for coming to see Mark’s band tonight? It’s in the hall down the road. Then there’s Josh’s party tomorrow night?’

  Malika’s eyes had widened.

  ‘Can we go?’ she asked.

  ‘Of course,’ I said. ‘We can do what we like now.’ At the mention of the party all my earlier resolve had disappeared. Whether Malika wanted to go or not there was no way I was going to miss the opportunity to snoop around Sadie’s house.

  Tess left us alone to have a rest.

  ‘We will spend time looking for Nora won’t we?’ Malika looked concerned.

  ‘Of course we will. I’m sure everything is linked, only I can’t see how exactly – yet.’

  It was going to be a busy weekend.

  CHAPTER 28

  The hall was adjacent to a busy pub. Chairs were lined up around the edges of the room, and a few tables were scattered here and there. There was a counter at one end opposite the stage, which Josh had turned into a makeshift bar. Choice was limited to beer or coke. I bought a can of each and took them back to the table where Malika was sitting. Bits of yellowing sellotape and blu-tack clung to scraps of paper all over the wall from previous gatherings. Despite the old and tired décor it felt good to be somewhere so familiar.

  Malika and I were the first ones there.

  ‘How was Sara?’ I asked. ‘You were a long time on the phone.’

  ‘I was worried that she was regretting letting me come to England, that she would have preferred me to stay with her, but it seems to be the opposite. She says she is relieved I am here with you so that she can concentrate on sorting out everything with Uncle Ali.’

  ‘She doesn’t want you to get upset, that’s all.’

  The band had started setting up on stage. Mark appeared, dragging some heavy equipment behind him. He stopped when he saw me and came bounding over.