Colin groaned. She was right. “Dammit.”
“Do you have a security system?”
“Yes.”
“Make sure she’s using it. And that she knows to call the police if he shows up. The last thing she should do is open the door. He’s going to be more pissed every day.”
“I’ve spoken to her about that,” Colin agreed. “I just keep praying he’ll give up and let her go.”
Rayne’s face scrunched up. “That’s unlikely. Don’t count on it. He controlled her for five years. He isn’t going to let that go without a fight.”
Colin ran a hand through his hair. “Intellectually, I know you’re right.”
Rayne stepped closer and put a hand on his arm. “It will be okay. It takes time. Please tell her I’m here for her, even if she just needs someone to talk to. She doesn’t have to file for divorce until she’s ready, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be her friend if she needs one. Also, I’ve worked with a detective at the local police department if you want his card. Might make you feel better if you have someone’s direct line. His name is Pierce Titus.”
Colin couldn’t stop himself. He pulled Rayne into his embrace and held her tight. “Thank you,” he told the top of her head. He closed his eyes and inhaled her scent. She was so kind and had such good advice.
He was falling for her.
This was bad. He held her at arm’s length before he released her. He should open up to her. Now was the perfect opportunity. He wanted to go out with her again, but even if she made a move or insinuated she was willing, at this point he wouldn’t do so until she understood him better.
“Sit on the bench, Rayne. I want to tell you something.”
She frowned as she backed up and took a seat.
He shoved off the wall, ran a hand through his hair, and paced the room for a moment, unsure why this was such a big deal. Finally, he realized talking to Rayne about Sarah wasn’t the problem. His concern was whether or not his story would cause Rayne to open up or not. What if he finished the saga and she gave him nothing?
He still had to try.
“You know I was dating a woman named Sarah when you moved to Denver.”
“Yeah.” Her brow was furrowed.
“I want to tell you why we broke up.”
“Okay.”
“I liked Sarah. A lot. We met at Breeze. She was carefree and fun and a good submissive. We weren’t too serious, but enough so that I met her family on a few occasions. They invited me over for her little sister’s sixth birthday party.”
Rayne watched him closely as he paced around her home gym, her feet on the bench, her arms wrapped around her knees.
“Something was always off about them. Her mom and dad would exchange glances sometimes that made me realize I was missing something. When I asked Sarah, she blew it off with a shrug every time, insisting I was imagining things.
“I tried to ignore my intuition because we had fun together, but as time went by, I realized Sarah was a bit too free-spirited. It was as if she were younger than her twenty-five years. She played hard and didn’t seem ready to be an adult. Every time I asked her anything serious, she blew me off.”
“Did she live with her parents?”
“Yes. That should have been a red flag.”
Rayne shrugged. “Sometimes people still live at home if they have no reason not to. It saves money.”
“You’re right. And if that were the only thing about her that stood out, maybe the hairs on the back of my neck wouldn’t have made me shudder. But there was more to it, and I knew that. I just couldn’t figure it out, and Sarah never offered me anything.”
Colin stopped his pacing to face Rayne from several yards away. “On the day of her sister’s birthday party, I overheard her mother whispering with her in the kitchen. She wanted to know if Sarah was ever going to tell me.”
Rayne’s face tightened, and she drew her lips between her teeth.
“I hadn’t meant to eavesdrop. It wasn’t my fault. But that was the last straw. There was no way I could just ignore what I’d heard. So, I continued into the kitchen right then and there and confronted the two of them.”
Rayne’s eyes widened.
“Turns out the little girl I’d been told was Sarah’s sister was really her daughter.”
Rayne’s mouth fell open on a gasp.
“Yeah, that was my reaction. Sarah’s parents were raising Emily as her sister.”
“I can see where that could happen,” Rayne began. “Sarah was young. I’m sure there are more families than we realize raising grandchildren as their own.”
Colin nodded slowly. “Maybe, but I couldn’t live with it.”
“Why?” Rayne frowned. “Because she had a kid?”
He shook his head. “No. I don’t care that she had a kid. I care that she discarded Emily so she could avoid growing up. She hadn’t been thirteen or something unrealistically young. She’d been nineteen when Emily was born. Sarah could have stayed with her parents and still raised the child. But she’d chosen to not step up to the plate at all.”
Rayne’s face was white, and she dropped her legs and sat up straighter.
Colin shook his head again. “But none of that even matters to me as much as the lying. In my mind, we had been dating too long for Sarah to keep something that important from me.”
Rayne’s shoulders dropped. “Yeah, I can see that,” she murmured.
Colin stared at the top of Rayne’s head for several seconds. He couldn’t in any way expect her to respond right now. He just wanted to share what had happened so she could understand him better. Maybe it would make her think. Maybe it would indirectly help her realize why he was uncomfortable with the mystery surrounding her own life.
“I just wanted you to know what happened.”
She lifted her gaze. “Thank you for sharing.”
“I should go.” He nodded over his shoulder as he picked up his bag.
It wasn’t until he was back in his Tahoe with the engine started that he began to shake. His nerves got the best of him. For as much as he couldn’t expect her to immediately share something about herself, he’d still desperately hoped for it. But the logical side of him knew he needed to give her time to process. To hear and understand what he was saying. Now the ball was really in Rayne’s court.
CHAPTER 10
On Wednesday night as Rayne drove to St. Joseph’s for her biweekly visit, she held the steering wheel tight and thought back on Colin’s visit on Sunday. She had kept herself busy for the last few days, but in her down time, he always crept into her head.
After Colin had left, Rayne had felt empty and alone. Why hadn’t she invited him to stay? Eat lunch with her or something. He hadn’t even let her pay him for his time. She was certain he charged his clients a substantial hourly rate for his services.
But he’d refused. In fact, he’d seemed rather insulted when she’d brought it up during his burpee demonstration. So, she’d let it go. The rest of the day had been boring. It was the same as any other Sunday, but ever since Colin had stepped into her office and tossed his weight around with her client’s belligerent husband, she’d struggled to keep him out of her mind.
Particularly after his revelation about his ex-girlfriend. She hadn’t stopped going over the details in her mind. Why had he told her? She knew. Deep inside, she realized his revelation had been his subtle way of warning her that she needed to open up to him.
On the one hand, she wasn’t sure she fully agreed with how harsh he felt about the choices of a nineteen-year-old girl who had made the difficult decision to not only deliver a baby she wasn’t ready to raise but then let her parents raise the child as their own.
She understood that his hang up had been more about the lying by omission than anything else. And she was also bright enough to understand the subtle dig. But still, he seemed overly judgmental about Sarah’s choice.
Colin wanted more from Rayne. She was in no way prepared to give it to him. Even w
orse, she was less interested in sharing her past now than before. If he knew how selfish she herself had been, he would feel the same way about her as he did about Sarah. There were too many similarities between Rayne’s story and Sarah’s.
Too bad she liked him. It was a terrible idea, but she couldn’t stop herself.
The truth was, he was too intense and demanding for her. No, that wasn’t the truth at all. She enjoyed his intensity and demands. But she couldn’t give him what he wanted from her in the long run, so she needed to purge herself of him and move on with her life.
Colin had made it clear that he wanted to see her. She also got the feeling he had passed the choice over to her. Since she was in no position to open up to him, she needed to shake him from her daily thoughts and move on.
Living in Miami had made it easier for Rayne to keep men at arm’s length. No one knew she was from Denver. No one knew her family situation. She avoided questions. If anyone got too close to the truth, she backed off and moved on. It was a way of life. She was accustomed to it.
Secrecy was a living, breathing thing in her life. It had been for so many years that she didn’t even know another way.
But here in Denver, it was in her face. And this house she lived in would make people ask questions. It was only natural. Obviously she hadn’t accumulated enough wealth in the last year to purchase something this large.
Granted, she hadn’t brought anyone home with her in the last year either, so she hadn’t needed to dodge the questions. Until now. Until Colin. Until she made the mistake of walking into Roses and Thorns that night and then doing a scene with a man who brought her to her knees.
She’d let him do way more than that. And now he was under her skin and she needed to shake free before she divulged too much.
We don’t air our dirty laundry with people, Rayne. It’s unseemly. People don’t want to hear about our problems. If they did, they would judge us.
God. Was her father right?
She flexed her fingers on the steering wheel. She was a twenty-six-year-old woman who had spent nearly her entire life keeping her family’s secret. Was it really necessary? Never once had she pondered the idea that she might actually talk about her situation or her childhood. It had never been an option.
Her father would have lost his shit if she had spoken of them to anyone. He would have been so disappointed in her that she would feel the weight of that on her shoulders all the time. But he was gone now. Was she still beholden to his strict rule of silence?
She pulled up to the facility, parked, and headed inside. Suzette lifted her gaze as Rayne approached the front desk. “Hey. How are you? You look tired.”
“Yeah, busy week. I’m exhausted.”
“You could take the night off, you know. There is no law that says you must spend three hours here.”
“Yeah, I know, but it’s part of my routine. I feel better afterward anyway, even if the person I’m visiting sometimes doesn’t remember me.” She sighed, lowering her shoulders. Her visits were a good deed. They were important. Her father had come here twice a week for years before he died. Rayne felt obligated to follow in his footsteps, even though he’d never once asked her to do so.
Suzette rounded the desk. “You’re seeing Anna tonight.”
“The ballerina?”
“Yes.”
“I forgot how old she is.” Rayne tried to place Anna in her head and couldn’t remember. She hadn’t seen her in a while.
“Twenty, I think. Or close to that.”
“Got it.” Rayne paused at the door to Anna’s room and turned to Suzette. “Thanks. For everything. I appreciate it.”
Suzette smiled. “No problem. It’s my job. And thank you. For coming. I know it might not seem like it makes a difference, but we have to hope it does. Everyone needs visitors. I wish more people would come more often.”
Rayne turned to face the room and took a deep breath. Anna.
“Oh, hello,” Anna stated enthusiastically as Rayne stepped into the room. She beamed. She was in a good mood. She was wearing tight pink leggings and a leotard as if she were just heading to the studio to practice. At least she believed that to be the case. Rayne’s job was to play along and not upset the patient.
“How are you?”
“I’m good. It’s sunny outside today. Too bad I’ll be inside all afternoon working at the barre.”
Rayne assumed she was referring to a ballet barre.
“I need to leave for the studio in a bit, but if you want to watch a movie with me before I go, we could do that.”
Rayne smiled. “I’d like that.”
Anna jumped up from where she’d been stretching on the floor and rushed over to the Blu-ray. “Would you like to watch Fame?”
Rayne smiled again. “Sure.” Who didn’t want to watch a hit from 1980? She’d seen it several times. Anna probably had seen it dozens.
Rayne’s evening was going to be easy.
She settled into one of the armchairs in Anna’s room and waited for the movie to start. Hopefully the flick would help keep her mind off one very sexy Dom who occupied a great deal of her waking and sleeping thoughts.
CHAPTER 11
Colin showed up at Rayne’s house at nine in the morning on Sunday. He had texted her several times during the week, mostly under the pretense that he needed advice about London. This wasn’t far from the truth, which made it easier to send the texts. London hadn’t left her room for the better part of the week, and she wasn’t eating enough. Not that Rayne could help with that, but she did have experience with battered women. No way would she accuse him of pursuing her relentlessly. She was too polite for that.
Hell, she was too polite for just about anything.
When she opened the door, he tried to ignore the lime-green, tight-fitting workout shirt and body-fitting, black yoga pants. They showed off every curve. Not that he hadn’t seen her curves before. He had both last Sunday and the night the weekend before when she’d let him into her bed.
It would be nice if he could avoid memories of that night plaguing him all the time, but it wasn’t possible. And putting himself in front of her like this was pure torture. But he intended to make some headway today whether she liked it or not. London’s refusal to get an order of protection had him in full-on alpha mode.
Conjuring every ounce of professionalism he could muster, he managed to work with Rayne in her home gym for forty-five minutes. She wasn’t as uptight this time. In fact, she seemed more relaxed all around.
He easily took control from the moment they entered the room, insisting once again that she submit to him. She slid right into the role without an issue, making his cock stiff the entire time. Luckily, his shorts were loose.
The last thing he had her do was sit-ups. Probably a bad choice since he found himself kneeling at her feet, holding them down with his hands, while she lay on her back, straining to lift her body.
He started chuckling during her first failed attempt. “Seriously, Rayne, not even one?”
She flopped down on the floor mat, breathing heavily. A sheen of sweat covered her chest and shoulders and forehead. “I never once said I was in good shape, Sir. Nor did I ask you to come torture me. This was your idea.”
He let go of her feet, tugged her legs out straight between his knees, and dropped forward onto his hands at the sides of her neck. Since her hands were clasped behind her head, they were now effectively trapped.
Her breath hitched.
“You and London are going to drive me to drink.”
Rayne swallowed. “What did we do?”
“Neither of you will take your health or self-defense seriously. It’s maddening. I care about you, Rayne. A lot. I want you to be safe.”
“Okay. I know. I’m trying.”
“Are you?” He was frustrated, but he didn’t need to take it out on her. Why was he being so disagreeable? He knew the answer to that. Yes, it was partly because of her safety, but it also had a lot to do with her cont
inued silence.
She swallowed, her hands releasing their clasp but remained above her head on the mat. “Sir…it’s been a week. It’s not even my thing. I’ve never worked out before. I don’t like it. But I did what you told me this week, and I am taking it seriously. I just don’t think you can expect me to be able to do sit-ups on day eight.”
He took a breath. She was right. He dropped his forehead and rested it on her chin. He shouldn’t have lost his temper. It wasn’t like him. He worked with a lot of people throughout the week, every day in fact. None of them ever frustrated him like Rayne.
He was interested in her, and she worked in unsafe environments every day doing a job that pissed off a lot of people. He hated to visualize her assaulted from some irate husband, or even wife.
He needed to pull his shit together, so he shoved away from her and pushed to standing. He paced over to the weight bench where a stack of hand towels rested and grabbed one.
A hand landed on his back a few moments later, startling him. He hadn’t heard her move. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” He dropped the towel on the bench, reached around to wrap his arm around her, and pulled her into his side. “Sorry. That was uncalled for. You’re right.”
She slid around to his front and flattened her hands on his chest, tipping her head back to meet his gaze. “Where is this coming from?”
He needed to tell her flat out. It wasn’t fair for him to hold on to constant frustration around her without pointing out what he needed from her directly. He took a deep breath. “I’m not sure. Part of my stress is because I realize I really like you, and you’re guarded as hell. After what happened with Sarah, I’m less trusting.”
“I understand that.”
He shrugged, wanting to switch the topic so she wouldn’t run. He’d opened himself up to her. The next move in that arena needed to be hers. “And then there’s my sister. She’s so vulnerable. For five years that fucking husband of hers pushed her around, and she couldn’t even defend herself. She has panic attacks worrying that he will come after her.”
“That makes sense,” she murmured.
Mastering Rayne (Club Zodiac Book 4) Page 9