Closed Off To You (Singing Star Trilogy #1)

by Rachel S. Rose

“Melissa is a lot more attractive than she likes to think. We keep telling her, but she won’t listen.” Ella patted my arm where it rested on the table.

  “Can you not talk about me as if I’m not here?” I looked away from Nathan when he grinned down at Lizzie. Why was she making eyes at him?

  “You’re beautiful,” Lizzie exclaimed.

  The statement completely contradicted the feeling I got from her.

  “She is,” Nathan said under his breath.

  “And on that note, I think we better hurry up, and get back to work. We’ve had enough fun for today.” Finishing my drink, I got up from the table.

  My friends raised their eyebrows at me as Nathan followed suit. At least he realised how important it was to rehearse. Not that I had been thinking about it until everyone seemed to turn on me.

  “Don’t be so serious, Melissa. We love you.” Ella brushed crumbs from her top as I went over to the waitress and paid the bill. Might as well treat them all.

  On my way back, the other three whispered between themselves. They quickly pulled away, their faces heating when I glared at them. I wouldn’t rush to have lunch with Nathan, and the others again, any time soon. It seemed that every time we tried to have fun, I ruined it. Maybe it was just me. I was being paranoid about Lizzie and Nathan. I was being paranoid about Nathan and every girl.

  Why did I care so much?

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Can I talk to you?”

  Nathan made me jump. His hands landed on my hips as he backed me into one of the studios. It was empty, the lights turned down low. I didn’t have time to think as he shut the door behind him and moved forward. Putting my hand up, I stopped him as his chest came into contact with my flat palm.

  “Don’t confuse me anymore.” My whispered sentence made him pause.

  He looked down at me, his pupils dilating when he saw the look on my face.

  “What is it?” His deep voice rumbled through my skin, caressing every part of my body.

  “I see the way you look at Lizzie. She could handle this better than I can.” I was about to back away when his hand fell onto mine, holding it against his chest.

  “I don’t see Lizzie that way. Why would you think that?”

  My whole body wanted his touch. I wanted him to do what he wanted. But when I saw everyone else flirt with him, I couldn’t handle it. He was handsome, but he wasn’t mine. He wanted to sleep with me, but he didn’t want to be with me. I was thirty years old. It was about time I started to realise that Nathan wasn’t going to change.

  “She’s very pretty. There’s a lot of younger girls here. For all I know, you’re seeing them all. God, I sound just like a teenager.”

  I ripped my hand away, turning towards the wall. He didn’t make a sound, not even when he moved towards me. I only realised that he’d advanced when his hand landed on my shoulder.

  “I don’t want any of them. I can’t give you everything you want. But, I can give you more than you’ve got while we’re here,” he whispered.

  My neck stiffened, preventing my head from falling back to land on his chest. We hardly knew each other, yet I couldn’t keep away.

  “How do you know what I want?”

  His hand was still. The heat of his palm seared my skin where it made contact.

  “I can tell. You want an amazing romance. You want a man who will give you everything. That’s what you deserve.”

  The butterflies in my stomach agreed with him. He was right. That was what I wanted. So why did my body plead to let him do everything? Except love me.

  “If you know that’s what I want, and that’s what I deserve, why can’t you leave me alone? I really am too old for you,” I murmured.

  His fingers squeezed my shoulder so hard, I bit my lip to prevent myself from moving away. His other hand brushed the hair away from my neck. Tugging gently, he slowly pulled me around to face him.

  “I don’t know what it is about you. From the moment I met you, I felt this weird attraction. This magnetic pull towards you. But, I know it’s just lust.” He smiled when I glared at him. “It’s like I want to have sex with you all day and every day. I realise that’s not what you want. Maybe it’s not that you’re too old for me, but I’m too young for you.”

  Our gaze was connected the whole time he spoke. My heart thudded against my chest. He made all the right points but alluded to the main one. He didn’t love me. And, I didn’t love him. I couldn’t fall that quickly, especially when he didn’t return the feeling. Could I?

  “Maybe. Although, I’ve not been acting my age recently.” I smiled suddenly, remembering some of the embarrassing moments of the past few months.

  “I can leave you alone. If that’s what you really want. You’re single, I’m single. It just seems a waste not to take advantage of that.” Nathan held his hand in mine, stroking his thumb along my palm.

  In the past, when a man had done that, I had pulled away. The sensation was too intense for me. With Nathan, it was different. I didn’t want to pull away. It was like he said, there was a magnetic attraction between us.

  My heart beat so hard in my chest, I could hear it in my ears. My skin burned with heat as I imagined what he would do to me. My breath panted in and out as I fought with my desire for him.

  “I can see how much you want this,” he whispered without making any movement. “But, I will never try to force you. It’s your choice.”

  I could see his tactic. He was seducing me, allowing me to go to him. That was the tiny decent part of him. At least he wasn’t pushing me too hard.

  “Why do you shy away from love?” It was too late to pull back the question.

  Nathan’s fingers froze where they rested. His soft gaze turned hard. His shoulders went stiff.

  “I told you before, it just doesn’t suit me. I can’t give you what you want. If this has to end because of that, I’m prepared for that to happen.” He swallowed. “Even though I don’t want it to.”

  I rubbed my hand over my forehead, releasing his hand to do so. He confused the hell out of me. He said he wanted to be with me for sex. He said he couldn’t do love. The reaction in his posture when I mentioned the word love gave me reason to run as far away as possible. But, there I stood. Unable to wrench my feet from the carpet on the floor.

  “Let’s make an agreement,” I said. “One more time. This is your reward for getting all those bands.”

  Nathan’s gaze snapped to mine. His breath deepened when I smiled up at him.

  “Are you sure? I did have some good things planned for my reward…in my head, anyway.”

  I chuckled when he reached forward and took my hand. His gaze softened once again as he looked down at me.

  “I hate to think what they were. Will you tell me?”

  His grin stretched across his face. “How about I show you?”

  I shook my head quickly. “That scares me. I have no idea what sort of perverted mind you have.”

  We both laughed, relaxing the tension.

  “Your brother did mention that, although it sickened him, he’d been told by your friends that you had quite a perverted mind yourself.” Nathan tilted his head to the side.

  “Did he now? What the hell was my brother doing talking about me in that regard with my friends? That’s wrong. In fact, shut up. You’ve put me off. I’m not getting horny with you while we talk about my brother. Even if you are talking about the perverted side of things.” I giggled as Nathan pulled a face and shook his head.

  He took a step back, pulling me with him. The studio was silent, the dim lights lending to the atmosphere. The perfect setting for what he was about to do to me. Not that I knew what he was about to do. The thought made my palms sweat and my pussy pulse.

  “Let’s not talk about that anymore. Let’s not talk at all. I want to revel in our last time together.” His voice dropped low, huskier than I had ever heard it before.

  His hand came up to cup my cheek, his thumb brushing underneath my eye. The ten
derness meant more to me than any other contact we’d had.

  “I’m okay with that.”

  Reaching back, his other hand started to feel along the desk at the back of the room. I frowned as he swore and pulled away.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  His cheeks flared red as he grabbed something and made a positive sound. He had found what he was looking for.

  “Sit down on the chair,” he demanded.

  I hesitated. When he raised his eyebrows, I did as he said. He held up a long piece of string that just happened to be sitting in the studio. What the hell was he going to do with it?

  “If this is our last time, let’s make it worthwhile.”

  My eyes almost popped out of my head, I could feel them. I had never been tied up before. I instinctively knew what was going through his mind. Was I going to let him get his way? Could I really let myself be that vulnerable with a man I wasn’t in love with?

  “I don’t know if I can,” I admitted.

  Nathan dropped to his knees in front of me. I reached out, running my hand over his cropped hair. He allowed me to indulge before he moved his head out of the way and held up the string.

  “Have you done this before?”

  I shook my head, there were no words. I was thirty, and I had never been tied up by a man. But then, I knew a lot of people that had never been tied up. It was power-play. Something I had fantasised about but never done.

  “Have you ever been curious?” he asked.

  My mouth gulped open before I could gather my thoughts. “Are you planning to beat the crap out of me with a…?” I looked around to see what weapon he could use.

  “No, I don’t plan on beating you up. That’s not my style. It shouldn’t be anyone’s style,” he said, placing his hand on my ankle and running it up the back of my leg.

  “Do you like to control? Want to make me your puppet?”

  His palm travelled up the outside of my thigh and over my hip, squeezing gently when he touched my love handles.

  “I’m not going to do any of that. I want to tie you up, so I can please you. It’s very, very sexy.”

  Grabbing the string from his hand, I looked down at it. “Why don’t you let me tie you up?”

  Nathan shrugged, nodding in agreement. “Okay. I’m happy to let you please me.”

  Nibbling on my bottom lip, I debated whether or not I wanted to get the string involved. I didn’t want to give him power over me. He already had enough.

  “How about we don’t use it?”

  I dropped the string on the floor, leant forward and squeezed the back of his neck, pulling him towards me. He looked a bit disappointed, but he let me distract him from the tying up idea. I wanted to enjoy our last time, not be conscious of what was going on with different games.

  “You really would like it if you gave it a go,” he muttered against my lips as he got closer.

  I kissed him, gently at first. His tongue tried to gain entrance to my mouth, but I blocked him. Instead, I pulled back so he stopped probing. Moving my head forward, I flicked my tongue over his lips. He opened his mouth, but I pulled back before he could kiss me properly. He quickly caught on and sat completely still. Swirling my tongue around his soft lips, I kissed him gently at the end.

  “Little tease,” he whispered.

  I chuckled as his fingers buried into my hair at the back of my head, and he plunged his tongue into my mouth, not giving me an option. My arms wrapped around his strong torso, stroking his back. The muscles rippled as he moved his hand up and down my arm. His other hand gripped my hair, so he could explore my mouth with his tongue.

  He pulled away suddenly, grabbed my waist, and lifted me off the chair. I gasped at the quick movement as arousal rushed throughout my body.

  I stood in front of him, waiting to see what he would do next. He was still on his knees. His hands ran up the back of my legs and over my buttocks. His fingers, squeezed me tight. Working his way round the front, he skimmed his fingertips across my stomach. I breathed in, conscious that he could feel my overindulgence.

  “You really don’t need to do that. I like your stomach.”

  I looked down at him. A sense of power I’d never felt before rushed through me, slipping straight to my pussy.

  “That’s good,” I managed to push through my teeth.

  Nathan deftly undid the button on my jeans, taking his time to unzip them, and push them down over my hips. He signalled for me step out of them by tapping on my calf.

  I prepared myself to be turned around. When I went to move, he put a hand on my knee to still me.

  “It’s going to be different today.”

  His eyes travelled down my face and over my body. My top was still on, my breasts safely encased in a bra. His gaze looked straight between my legs. He wasn’t touching me, just watching. Studying every part of me that he could see.

  “You trimmed before you came. Were you expecting something to happen?” he asked.

  “Stop looking and start doing,” I said, grinning to myself when his gaze snapped up to mine.

  He nodded once before moving forward. His lips pressed against my thigh, just above the knee. Tingles spread on my skin as his tongue snaked in a pattern towards the hair on my pubic bone. It travelled up, around, and down the other side. My legs were slightly apart, but my thighs touched, blocking his way.

  “Open for me,” he whispered.

  My stomach jolted when his tongue pushed between my thighs, not far from where the heat of me was burning hot. I opened my legs, giving him enough room to gain access. His tongue instantly made contact with the crease of my pussy. My head fell back as he lightly ran it up and down, not spreading me apart. He took a deep sniff, smelling the very core of me.

  The moan that escaped him made whole body buzz with warmth. It turned me on to know that he liked how I smelt. I had no idea why men were turned on by the scent of a woman.

  “You smell amazing,” he whispered.

  I couldn’t move. If I wasn’t careful, my legs would start to shake. His breath huffed against me as he slowly, purposefully, pressed his tongue into the crease of me, stretching me open. He ran it over my clitoris and down to my pussy opening.

  I clenched my hands at my side as he moved his tongue in and out of me, pulling completely away so I could feel the tip of his tongue sinking into me when he came back. I shuddered as the pleasure built. He sighed when a groan left my lips. His tongue stiffened as he moved towards my clitoris.

  “Don’t stop,” I breathed.

  He nodded which made his tongue flick up and over the sensitive spot that he knew so well. How had he become such a pro? Not many men knew exactly where a clitoris was.

  Grabbing my buttocks, he pulled me onto his face. He hadn’t touched me the whole time he had tasted, but he started to get carried away. Just how I liked it.

  His tongue swirled around the small lump full of sensitive nerve endings. He moved away before his tongue pressed against my pussy opening, pulled up the length of me, and ended with a flick over my clit.

  My legs shook so much, he had to hold me steady. He flicked his tongue around and around, up and over. The sensation started to build. Having nothing to hold on to, I grasped either side of his head. I crushed his ears to his skull, forgetting myself. It didn’t affect him, though, he just licked faster.

  As the building sweet pressure started to increase, he ran a hand towards the crack of my buttock. His fingers lightly caressed down the inside, only just touching the skin there. It sent a searing shot of arousal into my pussy. His other hand slapped the soft padding of my arse as his tongue carried on its assault.

  I gasped when his fingers travelled under me and pushed their way into my pussy from behind.

  All it took was one hard squeeze on my hip, one thrust of his fingers inside me, and his tongue caressing my clitoris over and over and over, for the pleasure to spike. A gorgeous sensation travelled out from below, winging its way over my body as the wave c
rested, and I fell into orgasm.

  My fingers dug into his head as I groaned and groaned. His own breathing was audible through the sounds I made. He liked getting me off.

  “Wow,” I panted.

  Nathan moved back. He put his hands over mine, linked our fingers, and pulled me away from his head. He didn’t stop there. Getting to his feet, he shook out his legs and raised my hands above my head.

  “Are you sure you want this to end?” He smirked at me as he backed me up towards the wall.

  “Everything happens in its own time.”

  The frown on his forehead grew deeper as I pulled our arms down and released him. His eyebrows raised when I hooked my fingers in the belt loops on his jeans and turned him. It was my turn to take the lead.

  I pushed him against the wall. Taking hold of his T-shirt, I pulled it over his head. For the first time, he let me.

  “You want me naked?”

  I ignored him as my gaze roamed over the hard muscles on his chest. Running a finger around his nipple, I smiled when his breath let out a low moan.

  “Do you work out all the time?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “Not all the time. I like my lazy days. But, I do like to keep in shape.”

  Moving my hands lower, I traced the ridges of his six-pack. I had never been with a man who had such a firm body. They had always intimidated me.

  “As you can tell, I never work out. It’s not my thing.” There was defensiveness in my voice.

  Nathan put a finger over my mouth to stop me from speaking.

  “I don’t care. I don’t want you for your perfectly toned body. I want you because you have a sexy squeezable body. Makes you womanly,” he whispered as his thumb traced my lips.

  I dropped my gaze away from his eyes and watched my hands where they splayed over the muscles on his stomach. They slowly travelled down to the V at his hips. I traced the hard edge of the muscle from his side, down the front, towards the waist of his jeans.

  “This is so sexy. Ordinary girls don’t go out with men that have these.”

  Nathan’s deep chuckle made me reach forward and plant a kiss directly above his collarbone. He stopped laughing as his breath huffed out of his lungs.