‘No, I thought I would let the dust settle for a few days.’ I resist the urge to spin round her leather chair. Nic hates it when I do that.
‘Yes good idea.’ Nic nods in agreement.
‘She was so crushed yesterday and I don’t think she will be in any state to talk to me yet.’
‘It’s probably best she has some time recovering with her family. What a shock though,’ says Nic.
‘I know but in the long run, she is definitely better off without him, that Timothy is a grade A prick.’
Nic peels a boiled egg which constitutes her breakfast today. She is always watching her weight and following some kind of extreme diet. She is not really overweight but has always struggled with her weight. She longs to be waif-like but she is naturally too big-boned to achieve that look, even if she starves herself.
Still, she is very disciplined when it comes to eating. She is more of a yo-yo dieter. She never sticks to anything for too long so she never actually loses much weight even though she exercises about 5 times a week. Nic’s diets tend to be of the low carb variety and she has even followed that diet where you have to practically starve yourself for two days of the week. No thanks, I could never do that, I’d be fainting.
‘So how are we doing on the wedding count so far?’ Nic brings up a spreadsheet on her screen.
‘Really well, we are up on last year,’ I tell her.
I had analysed our spreadsheets and the good news was that a lot our new clients were coming to us through word of mouth referrals which is the best form of advertising.
‘That’s great.’ Nic is pleased with this news.
On top of that, our Facebook page and Instagram have been a complete smash. We have had load of hits on the blog. Our social media marketing was paying off big time, thanks to Nic’s hard work.
We spend another half an hour going through marketing strategies and put forward a plan for the next few months.
‘I’ve got to go.’ I stand up draining my cup of cooling peppermint tea. ‘Oh are you still coming up to mine tonight for a girlie night?’
‘Yes count me in,’ Nic puts her breakfast tupperware away. ‘What shall I bring?’
‘Nibbly bits would be good, anything you like really.’
A few minutes later, I am in my office with quiet Amelie and pushy Linda.
‘Hi guys, how are we doing?’ I wasn’t particularly looking forward to locking horns with Linda today.
‘Fine,’ Linda gives me a tight little smile and bends down to pick an imaginary piece of fluff of her skirt.
She is obviously still upset from our previous meeting and was not going to make things easy or amicable.
‘So Amelie, you want a manor house venue,’ I scan though the paperwork we had filled out during our first consultation.
‘Yes definitely. I would love to have an afternoon tea after the wedding service and serve hot food later in the evening,’ Amelie says.
‘But the wedding breakfast should be a sit down dinner,’ Linda butts in, objecting straight away to Amelie’s ideas.
And there it was. Pushy mother syndrome, she just couldn’t help herself.
‘Not necessarily,’ I explain to Linda. ‘ You can have an afternoon tea for the guests in the early afternoon. Then you can serve a hot buffet later in the evening.’
‘A buffet,’ exclaims Linda, ‘well that just won’t do.’
‘Why not?’ I ask her.
‘The guests will expect a full three course meal. We can’t just offer them a few sandwiches and some finger food,’ Linda sounds appalled at the very thought.
I look over at Amelie but she is looking down at the floor, hoping it will swallow her up, no doubt. Damn I was rooting for Amelie to stand up against her mother but I could see that I would have to fight this one for her.
‘Darlington Hall serves an exquisite afternoon tea and I can assure you it’s more than just a few sandwiches and scones,’ I load their website on my laptop and show her the pictures of their afternoon tea.
‘Hmmm.’ Linda is not impressed. I know that she is determined to have it her way and get that 3 course meal.
‘And the great things these days, is that buffets are more than just a few sausage rolls and crisps.’ I am not going to let pushy Linda win.
‘The hot buffet at Darlington is all fresh and cooked by very highly rated chefs. Hot meats, pasta dishes and seafood. Anything you like really,’ I add.
‘Even so, it is very common to go up and serve yourself. We are not at someone’s garden BBQ, you know,’ Linda looks disgusted at the idea.
‘There is a full waiter service,’ I explain. ‘They serve the guests at the station and it’s plated up on hot china plates.’
That’s right Linda, you keep it coming and I’ll challenge any objection you have, I think to myself smugly.
‘Well, still my daughter’s wedding should be special. How can it be special when people are just milling around with plates of food? It’s just unheard of.’
‘No you see, there will still be a seating plan and the guests will return to a proper table with an allocated seat.’
‘I will not invite my friends and family to my daughter’s wedding without giving them a proper meal,’ Linda stands up and walks out the door.
Finally Amelie seemed to have found her voice.
‘I’m really sorry about my mother,’ Amelie says apologetically as she wrings her wrists. ‘She has this vision of how the wedding should be. I just can’t seem to convince her that this is elegant enough.’
‘You shouldn’t be convincing her, it’s your wedding not hers.’ I want to reassure Amelie that everything will work out. ‘She has to remember that you are the one who is getting married and it’s you that gets to call the shots.’
‘Thanks Samantha, I really appreciate your help on this,’ she smiles at me. ‘You are so much better at standing up to my mother than I am.’
At this stage, I didn’t really think I was standing up to Linda, considering she had just walked out of my office. However, I have plenty more tricks up my sleeve if Linda wants a battle.
I drive straight home after work, park up and let myself in the house. It is almost becoming a form of therapy to go to my bedroom and read a few more entries of my old diary.
April 4th
I saw Caspar today, for the first time after Mum’s embarrassing outburst. I was walking to the bus stop and he pulls up beside me in his car. I was excited to see him but also dreading having to talk about the whole Mum going mental episode.
He said hi and asked me how things were going. I told him straight away how sorry I was about my mother and what a pain she was. He told me not to worry about it as his parents were just the same. Then he told me to jump in his car and he would give me a lift to college. I felt so cool, being in the car with him.
Thank god everything is still ok with us now. We got back to our usual banter straight away and he doesn’t seem fazed about my mother’s behaviour. Thank god! Then, the best thing happened. He asked me over to his house on Friday night. His parents were away for the weekend and he thought it would be nice for us to hang out. I can’t wait. I’ll have to tell Mum I’m going over to Leanna’s house as I can’t deal with the hassle I will if I even mention Caspar’s name. I am so excited about going to his house and also slightly nervous.
April 9th
I am so pissed off, I couldn’t go to Casper’s house in the end because I forgot Auntie Jo was having a family get together and I had to go. I love Auntie Jo but her timing is so off!! I didn’t have time to go round to Caspar’s to let him know as Mum just sprung it on me and I had about 20 minutes to get ready. I sent him a brief text telling him that a family thing had come up and I couldn’t go round. I am so gutted.
I did end up having a good time that night but I kept thinking about what would have happened if I had gone over to Caspar’s. I haven’t lost my virginity yet but Caspar is definitely the first guy that I want to sleep with. Would it hav
e happened tonight? In a way, I am still nervous about sleeping with someone. Even though I am definitely in love with Caspar, it’s probably a bit too soon for me. He is older than me so I am sure he would expect us to sleep together straight away.
I remember being worried that Caspar might not want to see me again after I had to cancel at such short notice. It turned out he was fine about it. He sent me a text telling me not to worry about it and we would see each other soon. Our next date was planned for a week later at a BBQ and band night that my college was holding.
It’s Friday night and I have the whole weekend off. Usually I am super excited when this happens as the whole Friday feeling is usually an alien concept for me. Don’t get me wrong, I am really happy to have the weekend off but the whole thing with Caspar being back in town has affected me. I am now worried that I am going to bump into him at any moment. I have taken to leaving the house wearing my oversized sunglasses and a hoodie at all times.
I also always look out the front door before leaving the house to check he’s nowhere near. I have even stopped going to the local convenience store just in case he is in there.
And now I can’t even go the gym without worrying if he will be there. I have asked Gemma to text me when he has left the gym after his workout. She texts me when he leaves so I know it’s safe for me to go. It’s annoying as I now have to work out later in the evening but at least I know I won’t bump into him.
‘This is getting ridiculous Sammi,’ Leanna pours me a glass of wine. She has come over for a girly night with Gemma and Nic. We are watching old films and snacking on nibbles.
‘You can’t stop living your life just because he is back in town,’ Gemma pipes in.
‘Well it’s easy for you guy to say,’ I sip my wine, ‘but I don’t want to see him yet.’
‘You know it’s inevitable,’ Leanna says as she crunches on a piece of celery.
When I asked Nic to bring nibbIes, I meant crisps, mini pizzas or chocolate. But Nic is currently on one of her extreme health kicks so there is no chance of any comfort food.
‘What is?’ I ask her as I reach for a carrot stick and dip it into some hummus.
‘That you will bump into him,’ Leanna looks at me intensely.
‘I mean it’s not like Roseford is a massive town,’ she continues crunching down on that celery.
‘Ugghhh I know, that’s what I am dreading,’ I groan.
The oven timer pings and Gemma gets up to take our pizza out of the oven. I always have a stash on frozen pizzas on hand. I can’t wait to bite into a slice
It smells so good and we all tuck into the gooey cheesy pizza burning our mouths as we are too impatient to let it cool down.
We spend the next couple of hours engrossed in a corny feel-good rom-com. If only life worked out like they do in films. You know, girl meets incredibly handsome boy, handsome boy likes girl too. They are about to get it on until some big drama stops them from getting together. They spend time apart and it’s torturous for both of them. Handsome boy comes up with an amazing romantic gesture to get the girl back and they live happily ever after.
So far Caspar is the only boy I have known that has made me feel so intensely in love. I can’t imagine finding anyone else who would make me feel the same. And that scares me as I don’t think I will ever find anyone that matches up to what I had with Caspar.
Sure I think I loved my last boyfriend but I never felt the same way like I felt with Caspar. With Caspar, it felt like I was in one of those films where the passion and love is so intense. Except that our own love story goes like this: girl meets handsome boy, he flirts with her, they kiss, he moves away for a bit, they meet again, he asks her out and then he leaves without any explanation. Never to be seen or heard from again for years. Not sure that would make a good movie.
We are all a little bit teary after the film. Despite us being strong independent women, we all still crumble at a good old cheesy romance.
‘So does Caspar ever speak to you when he comes in to the gym?’ I ask Gemma.
‘No not really, I’m usually really busy at the desk.’ Gemma is picking at the last of the popcorn.
‘Does he come in with anyone?’ I am fishing for some information here. More specifically, I want to know if he ever trains with another girl.
‘What she is trying to say is does he have a girlfriend?’ Leanna butts in. She can read me like a book.
I chuck a sequinned cushion at her and the sequins get caught in her hair. She untangles it from her hair and runs over to me, hitting me back with the cushion. We suddenly all get into a really silly but fun pillow fight until sensible Gemma points out that we will knock wine over.
Still laughing, we all take a couple of minutes to catch our breath.
‘I haven’t seen him come in with anyone. He pretty much keeps himself to himself but he does train with a friend from time to time,’ Gemma says.
‘Well start paying more attention and see if you can get some info for me,’ I tell her off playfully.
We drink a lot more wine and I end up having a big lie in the next morning. I spend a lazy late morning in bed and then decide to read a few more pages of my diary.
April 15th
The college BBQ night was brilliant. Caspar came with me and I was swelling with pride that he was my date. Leanna broke up with her boyfriend a few weeks ago so she went with Caspar’s friend Mike from the gym. We basically got really drunk and went to a club afterwards. I spent the night dancing and snogging Caspar. He told me that he really liked me and asked me on a date. We are meeting up tomorrow for drinks. Totes excited. I am so going to marry this guy.
April 16th
I was at work at Sheridan’s today and this girl Shana that works there knows Caspar’s family. Apparently, her family are friends with his family and they used to be neighbours ages ago. She told me that he used to be in a long-term relationship with this girl called Alice. Apparently they were really serious for a long time but they have been off and on ages and had some weird open relationship thing going on.
She says that they still might be together but she doesn’t know for sure as her family doesn’t keep in touch with Caspar’s family that much anymore. She is a bit of a stirrer and I take her words with a pinch of salt. Caspar is such a lovely guy and he surely wouldn’t be seeing me if he was still with this Alice. Plus I have never seen any girls coming over to his house. I am going to put any thoughts of Alice at the back of my mind.
I met Caspar for a drink at the pub after work. I had a Bacardi and coke and he had a Budweiser. We spent ages talking about what we wanted to do with our lives and I have just found out that he is planning on spending 6 months out in Australia. He has got a job to teach tennis out there for 3 months and then he is going to travel. He is leaving in July. I obviously looked sad because he told me not to worry that we would still see each other when he got back. We spent the next hour, snogging in his car. I wish he didn’t have to go away as he pretty much makes my life perfect.
Why does he have to go away? He is going to meet loads of really pretty Aussie girls and he will forget about me. What if he loves Australia and doesn’t want to come back to Roseford?
I put the diary down thinking back about Caspar going off to Australia. I didn’t really get to see much of Caspar before he left. I had been busy studying for exams and the tennis league broke up for the summer. We probably saw each other another few times but he never made us official girlfriend and boyfriend before he left.
We saw each other one last time, the day before he was flying out. We went to this lovely little park for a walk. I was hoping that he may decide to make a commitment and ask me to be his girlfriend before he left. Much to my disappointment, he didn’t talk about how he was going to miss me or if we would keep in touch. Our conversation focused more on his plans in Australia and what he was excited to be seeing and doing out there on his travels.
He bought me an ice cream from a Mr. Whippy van. We strolled slowly t
hrough the park as we headed back to my house. He’s going to say something I thought. I kept willing the universe to make him finally utter the words I was so desperate to hear. Those three simple words… I love you. We stopped at the gates to the park and he kissed me. This might be the moment, I thought. But no, we walked home and as we got to my place, he turned to me and said ‘See you around’.
I was speechless. Was that it? He was going off for 6 months and all he could say was ‘See you around’. I was in such shock that I kind of muttered a ‘See you around’ back. And that was it. He went back into his house without looking back.
It wasn’t as if he was my official boyfriend or anything so he owed me nothing. I should just be happy and grateful for what we had. I was really upset but eventually I started getting on with my life. Over the next 6 months I made sure I had a very full and active social life. I even snogged a few boys at parties and didn’t think too much about Caspar.
Deep down I had a feeling that we were destined to be together at some point. I strongly felt this was not the end of my journey with Caspar. But enough about Caspar for now, he is consuming too much of my time and it is draining. I close the diary and drop it down on the floor by my bed.
I didn’t hear from Caspar while he was away in Australia. His parents no longer rented the house next door so I couldn’t even get any news from them. I had got to know them a little bit as I sometimes used to pop over to Caspar’s for a cup of tea. Joy, our old neighbour was done living the dream down under and had come back to live in her house. So Bethany and Phil had found a house to rent in the other end of town
I still managed to have a pretty fun summer. I spent the days working at Sheridan’s and going out in the evenings with friends. I also got plenty of holidays that summer. Leanna and a group of our college friends spent a week in Cornwall. I also went to Spain on a lush 2 week all- inclusive holiday with my family.
It’s time to get out of bed as it’s late in the afternoon. I am going out to dinner with Nic and Jodie from work tonight. We had a table booked at this really nice pub by the river which was getting really great food reviews.
Ghosted: Wicked Wedding Planners Series Page 5