by Bijou Hunter
“Please.”
I smirk at her tone. “I said you’d beg.”
Shay’s expression is one of defeat. I hate that fucking look.
“You’re at work,” I whisper, backing off. “One day, you won’t be. When that happens, you’ll beg for something else.”
Nodding, she stares at me until I can’t read her again. A part of me wonders if there really is someone else. Is she playing me? Or keeping her options open? I feel like I know Shay, but I’m fooling myself. She’s a stranger who conned Lucky into bringing her to Little Memphis.
Resting my hands on each side of her, I stare into those gray eyes and try to see the real Shay.
“This guy you’re into,” I say, searching her face for answers, “how’s that working out?”
When she says nothing, I lean closer and her hands return to my chest. Again she wants to push me away, but I don’t move.
“He’s out of my league,” she says, sounding sad. “I wish I was who he thought I was, but I’m not. I also wish I knew how to make him understand that I’m not ready. Not because I don’t think of him all the time, but because I’m new to town and overwhelmed by everything. He doesn’t need to wait for me when he has options, but I wish he would.”
With Shay looking so young and vulnerable, I feel like an asshole hovering over her. Fuck, I am an asshole and I usually love this fact about myself. With Shay, I wish I was a better man. Well, a better man who still got exactly what he wanted when he wanted it.
Leaning down, I press my lips against her forehead. I want to kiss her lips, but she’s not ready and I want her to give herself to me. No more hiding or games. I need her to show me everything.
11
Shay
He Calls Me Princess
The next two days, I’m overheated and confused. All because of Ford Reed. I can feel his lips on my forehead and I find myself caressing the spot. He has me completely wrapped around his finger, but I’m not ready. I think he understands, but it’s not like he’s hurting for company.
Arriving home from the store on Saturday, I find a bouquet of yellow roses sitting on the kitchen table. Darby grins at me while cooking at the stove.
“How many women do you think Ford’s ever sent flowers to in his whole damn life? I’m guessing maybe one and she was probably his mom.”
I try to hide how excited I feel at learning they’re for me. The roses are beautiful. I lean over and inhale their sweet scent.
“There’s a card,” Darby says, walking past me. “Don’t be shocked if his writing is awful. Joker said one of the Reed boys is barely literate, but I can’t remember which one.”
I open the white envelope and frown at the sheet of paper. I don’t understand what it is at first. My eyes scan past the printed out info to the handwritten words at the bottom.
I’m ready to ride, princess.
Looking over the info again, I realize I’m reading Ford’s clinic test results for various VDs. Despite my common sense, I giggle wildly. Yes, based on the tests, he is ready to ride.
After I put away my groceries, I sit at the table and look at the roses. I wonder why he picked yellow ones. I like them better than red and pink, but he couldn’t have known that about me. I’m a stranger to him, so he’s either great at reading people or picked the flowers he liked best. Either way, I stare at them for too long to pretend I’m not love struck.
“You can thank him tomorrow,” Darby says later. “He’ll have a list of suggestions on how to thank him, but words will suffice.”
I grin. “He’s bad news.”
“Jenn says the same about you.”
“Why?” I ask, my smile gone.
“She can tell you tomorrow.”
The next day at the barbecue, Jenn stirs her potato salad and shrugs. “You’re a trouble magnet, Shay. I don’t know what to tell you. Some people are born that way.”
I just stare at her. Is she insulting me? Am I really bad news? Is that code for a piece of shit? Should I care what she thinks? Who is she anyway? Could I take her in a fist fight? I know the answer to the last one is no.
“Don’t get all pouty,” she says, grinning at Darby fixing a margarita. “I’m bad news too. It runs in my family, but I turned out all right. You wanna know the secret?”
As Harleys roar up the residential street and more club guys arrive, I lean forward and nod.
“Land a man while you’re young and pretty,” Jenn says, wrapping blonde hair behind her ear. “I know that goes against what all us girls hear when we’re growing up. We’re supposed to think career and have fun first, but it’s a lie. Oh, sure, it works for those fancy city girls with their degrees. Girls like us don’t work that way.”
Jenn sets aside the potato salad bowl and starts working on coleslaw. “Look at me and my little sister Debbie. I grabbed Lucky when I got the chance. She said I was settling down too early. We were party girls and she wanted to keep partying until she got too old. Her plan didn’t even make any sense since our mom still parties and she’s old as fuck. Anyway, I married Lucky and had kids. Being a wife and mom settled me into the woman I was going to be. That’s how I figured out the job I wanted. I was never going to have a fancy career, but I like working as a medical technician. I never would have gone that way when I was younger.”
People walk past the kitchen and say hi to Jenn and Darby. Once they’re outside where Lucky is grilling, Jenn returns to her story.
“My sister tried out a bunch of jobs and just as many men. The guys were all players and not looking to settle down yet. Debbie didn’t worry because she figured she had time. Unfortunately, beauty fades. Even for the hottest chick, she only has a certain prime window. We’re not living in Hollywood where we can buy a new face when we’re forty. So I settled down young and got me a good man. Debbie wasted her youth on men who weren’t ready. By the time she pushed for a husband, her options were pretty shitty. The guy she married works some fuckwit job and moved the family to northern Minnesota. Do you have idea how fucking cold it is where she lives? Oh, and he doesn’t make crap for money and she works a shithole job because she never found her calling or whatever. That’s what happens when you wait too long and grab the first asshole willing to commit.”
“Pearls of wisdom,” Darby teases as the margarita kicks in.
Jenn rolls her eyes then looks at me. “You’re a pretty girl and there are a few guys I know who are interested. They’re rough around the edges, but they’ve got a fierce protective streak like Lucky. They’ll take good care of their women and kids. Unlike my brother-in-law who will spend money on himself and let his family do without.”
Jenn walks to me and slides my hair off my shoulders. “Don’t waste your time on a guy who isn’t ready. Men who say they’re not ready really mean you aren’t enough for them to be ready. They’ll only settle down when they have no options. So those guys sniffing around you right now are interested, but most only want to play around. Maybe long term play, but you can’t think of finding a guy for a year or even five. That shit gets girls like us in trouble.”
Jenn gives a nod to someone passing by then sighs. “Don’t waste your youth being dumb. Find a man who treats you right and wants you now and always. Grab him and don’t let him go. Also, don’t let a guy who looks like bad news scare you because you’re bad news too. Some people just draw trouble to themselves. A girl like you could use a scary fucker to keep her safe from all that trouble.”
Jenn steps back and smiles. “Or you can be like Darby and grow old alone.”
“Single and loving it,” Darby says, giving me a wink. “Marriage was great, but I have no interest in ever doing it again. Love is a lot of fucking work and I’ve grown too selfish for it.”
“Darby is special,” Jenn says as she returns to cooking. “Most of us want a warm body next to us each night. When I first met Lucky, I thought he might rob me.” Darby and I laugh, but Jenn just smiles. “He had the worst pickup line too. Something about me a seductress
and making him my slave. It was awful and he also made a comment about my boobs. I wasn’t impressed, but he did make me laugh. The next time I saw him, he was shirtless and I realized he was more than funny. The rest is history.”
My thoughts returning to Ford, the image of him shirtless sends me into heat. I need to regain control of my hormones. Darby senses this much.
“She’s got it bad for Ford.”
Jenn snorts then realizes Darby’s serious. “Oh, honey. Ford won’t marry you. Sleep with him, but don’t get addicted. He has commitment issues from all those years in foster care. Besides Pax, the man doesn’t really care about anyone.”
I want to ask about his past. Or maybe not knowing is best. I have my heart set on getting close to Ford. Reality might destroy the fantasy, so I choose ignorance. For now anyway.
Leaving the women, I walk into the large backyard and watch Jenn and Lucky’s kids jump on the trampoline with other kids from the club. Paige thinks I’m cool and keeps telling me about her school. I suspect she thinks I’m her sister. Everyone keeps thinking I am Lucky’s kid. No doubt if I grew up here with parents like Lucky and Jenn, my life would have been a lot different.
Paige is around Donny Junior’s age, so I ask Paige questions about her friends and hobbies. Listening to her, I feel the pain of missing my brothers. The night before on the phone, Devin starting crying and didn’t stop for five minutes. My new start in Little Memphis broke his little heart.
When Paige talks to the other kids, I step back and think about my little brothers. I wonder if I could save up enough money to get an apartment, so they could live with me. The idea of Mom moving here doesn’t fill me with warmth. She’d likely spend all her time whining about how far away Donnie was and how he’d never leave his wife now. I’d tolerate her crap, if I could have my brothers close by.
“Bad day?” Ford asks, walking up to me.
I let my gaze take in how wonderful he fills out the gray long sleeve shirt he’s wearing. His hair looks damp and he smells like soap. I can feel his lips on my forehead and I suspect I look like a fool staring at him.
“Just thinking about my brothers back in Hawthorne,” I say, looking away.
“Younger or older?”
“Ten and eight. They’re good kids, but my mom is a flake and I feel guilty for leaving them behind.”
Ford studies my face then reaches out and runs his strong hand down the back of my hair. It’s a simple gesture, but his touch relaxes me.
“Thank you for the roses,” I say, studying my feet. “No one’s ever sent me flowers before.”
“Then I popped that cherry for you. Good to know.”
Focusing my gaze on him, I smile. “I’m happy you’re safe to ride. I’ll keep that in mind. You know, for one day…eventually…if the mood strikes me.”
Ford squints at me. “I can’t tell if you’re teasing or just frigid.”
“Both.”
He smiles. “You okay with the color? Any girl will like red or pink roses. You’re not any girl though.”
I stare at him, wanting everything and knowing none of my hopes are possible. Wearing a sly grin, Ford knows I’m hooked. His grin isn’t overly cocky. Just enough to make me feel like an idiot.
“Your name is Crawford?” I ask, remembering the medical report. “Anyone ever call you Crawfish?”
His dark blue eyes flaring with annoyance, Ford nods. “Yeah until I was in third grade and pounded his ass into the ground.”
“Third grade?” I balk, shaking my head. “I’d have thought you were born a badass. Except it sounds like you took awhile to grow into it. Kinda disappointing to hear.”
“Is that right?” he murmurs, grinning. “Would it help to know I’ve made up for my slow start?”
I share his smile and look over his powerful build again. Summoning all my courage, I slide my fingers over his muscular arm. Ford shifts ever so slightly and I sense he’s surprised by my touch. He recovers quickly.
Flexing his muscle for me, he gets real serious. “An hour of weights plus another one for cardio. Nature gave me the tools, but I have to mold my body into the amazing specimen you’re feeling up now.”
My laughter causes him to reach out and cup my cheek. Seeing a need that scares me, I step back.
“Does your mom live in Blairsville?”
Ford loses his smile. “You hear something about me?”
“Yeah, you’re great in bed and you only care abut your brother.”
“True, but I care about shit other than my brother.”
“Like the club?”
“And my dog.”
I smile. “I hate dogs.”
Ford shakes his head. “Liar.”
“Do you have family other than Pax?”
“I’ll answer if you sit with me on the bench. Talking so close to those kids is making me uneasy. What if I forget my manners and talk about my cock? Jenn will take a carrot shredder to it.”
The kids giggle nearby and I roll my eyes. Ford places his hand on my back and leads me to the bench. I sit as far away from him as possible. When he shakes his head, I grin at his irritation.
“You weren’t tested for cooties, so I’m playing it safe.”
He laughs then instantly hates himself for doing so. I see it written all over his face.
“Tell me something good about your childhood and I’ll move closer,” I say. “Like a reward system.”
“What do you know?”
“Someone told me you were a wuss until third grade.”
Ford laughs. “You’re a tough broad to impress.”
Smiling, I pat his hand. “I know you and Pax spent time in foster care.”
“Does that make you pity me?”
“Do you want me to pity you?”
“If pity leads to you under me with your legs wrapped around my hips then, yeah, I’m a sad sack and want pity.”
I laugh and scoot farther away until my ass is mostly off the bench. “Start spilling.”
“Nothing to tell. Dad was a dumb fuck with an addiction to cheap booze. Mom suffered from depression and was also looking for something to fix that for her. When Pax and I were five and seven, she left us in a car for a week. A couple of hookers brought us stuff to drink and eat at first. Eventually, they figured Mom wasn’t coming back. They called the cops and we ended up in the system.”
Ford gives a head nod to an arriving club guy then continues his story, “Sounds bad, but we always stayed together and got decent foster families. The only reason we got moved around was because the state would think Mom could handle doing her job and give us back to her. She’d try, but the woman can barely take care of herself. She’d fuck up and we’d go live somewhere else.”
“I’m sorry.”
I expect Ford to make a crack about proving how sorry I am by doing something with his cock. Instead, he smiles.
“You’re a good kid.”
“I’m not a kid.”
“A little bit.”
“How do you figure?”
“You act like a virgin. That makes you a kid.”
“That’s stupid. So if a fourteen year old girl acts like a slut, she’s older than me?”
“Yeah, pretty much,” he says, scratching at his beard. “Why are you so sensitive?”
I open my mouth to argue then realize he’s deflecting from sharing about his mom. Scooting closer, I smile.
“I almost ended up in foster care a few times. I feel like I should hug you,” I say, scooting closer again. “But I won’t. I know that’s a kid move.”
Ford laughs. “You like messing with me.”
“I like you, period.”
Ford’s gaze softens. “I’m not a monster. I know the girls think Pax and I are incapable of feeling shit, but they’re wrong. I feel plenty of shit. I just don’t whine about it like their whipped husbands do.”
“I find whining sexy,” I whisper, holding his gaze.
“I had a bad childhood, Shay. Please fuck away
my pain.”
We both laugh then I notice Pax throwing a chicken bone at another guy. Ford frowns, before letting out a sigh.
“Pax has poor people skills. I wish I could give him some of my talents, but they’re not transferable.”
“Do you want to go over and hug him?” I tease. “You look concerned.”
Ford opens his mouth to give me shit. Except I’ve slid closer and now my arm is pressed against his. He closes his mouth and studies my face.
“I’ve only see one other person with gray eyes and he was a crazy bastard. I didn’t know they could be so fucking beautiful until you.”
Flushed and overwhelmed, I sigh. “I don’t know what to do about you. Should I pull you closer or make a run for it?”
“I know the feeling.”
I smile softly. “What’s your dog’s name?” I ask, leaning my head against his shoulder.
“Folgers.”
“Cute. I’ve never had a dog before.”
“We never did either, so Folgers ended up spoiled. It’s too late to fix him.”
“If I ever get a dog, I’ll be careful not to spoil it.”
“Folgers likes the ladies.”
I glance up at Ford and smile. “Of course, he does.”
He kisses my forehead and my whole body flushes with heat. How the hell does he make me crazy with such a minor gesture?
I glare at him. “Do you know?” I grumble, crossing my arms over my excited nipples.
“Oh, I know,” he says, stretching until his arm rests around my shoulders. “What I don’t know is how to take all that you’re feeling and turn it into a spot in my bed.”
“This is like when I found out you weren’t born a badass. Once again, I’m disappointed to learn you don’t have me figured out.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve gotta plan. If it doesn’t work though, I’m giving up.”
When I frown, Ford gives me a grin. “Did you think I’d chase you forever?”
“Forever and a week aren’t the same thing.”
“They are for a guy like me.”