by Bijou Hunter
“Don’t talk about her like that.”
“Seriously? That’s your problem with what I said? What about brothers sharing a chick and their balls banging together? Gross, man. Call me vanilla if you want, but I don’t want your dick anywhere near mine.”
Despite my anger, I laugh. “Turd.”
Pax smiles and looks at Shay. “It’s been like this since we were kids. I just want to love him, but he keeps hurting me.”
Shay grins slightly. She waits until I join her then nudges me. “Why did you hit him?”
“He was talking shit. Violence is the only way he learns.”
Shay studies Pax standing at the kitchen sink. “If that’s true, I don’t think you hit him hard enough.”
Glancing at Pax, I find him smirking at us. He struts over and sits in a chair. “Can a brother get a hug?”
“I’m going to hug you into the ER, jackass.”
Pax laughs hard then takes a bite of his donut. “Soft and sweet, just the way I like them.”
Shay leans over and whispers, “I think he’s talking about my pussy.”
I don’t know whether to laugh or jump across the table and beat my brother. Shay is smiling, unbothered by Pax’s bullshit. She thinks he’s funny. Immature maybe. Hell, her little brothers are probably obnoxious bastards like Pax.
“Want to go to the batting cages with us later?” I ask Shay.
Tensing immediately, Pax loses his smirk especially when I flip him off.
“Like I told you when we were kids, I’m older, I know more, and I’ll always win.”
Pax tosses a donut at me which I easily catch. Seeing it’s chocolate, I take a bite.
“Thanks, little bro.”
Eating her donut, Shay ignores us. I sense she’s in big sister mode now.
“I’ve never gone to a batting cage,” Shay finally says once we’ve shut up for long enough. “I’ll need help. Up close and personal help.”
Pax grins. “Oh, no worries, baby. I’ll teach you everything you need to know.”
I start to make a move, but Shay places her hand on my thigh. “You’re giving me a fucking headache. Chill out or I’m putting you boys in a time out.”
“Sorry, mom,” Pax mutters.
“That’s better. Now, eat up. You need your energy for later when you teach me to use a bat like an enforcer.”
I wrap an arm around Shay then grin at Pax. “Anyone can use a gun or knife, but cracking someone open with a bat takes power and precision.”
Pax shares my smile and chills out. Shay doesn’t judge us. She also isn’t turned on by watching us being bad asses. She just wants to hang out and learn to use a bat herself.
The bravado level eases in the room and Pax stops talking about pussy. We watch the morning news where the main story is a dead pervert. Shay doesn’t show much interest in the freak’s death.
Pax and I are more interested in what our enemies think about why he died. If our ruse works, we’ll go after the bastards who killed Tiny and end the bullshit on the west side.
32
Shay
Makeshift Family
Ford and Pax play with Folgers in the backyard while I make grilled cheese sandwiches with all their leftover cheeses. The guys are in love with a small family grocery store. They claim the owner makes them buy expensive cheeses and bread. Yeah, I’m totally sure she kicks their asses if they don’t do her bidding.
In reality, they buy whatever she can’t sell. So our gooey grilled cheese sandwiches are served with glasses of a tea-flavored soda horror that I can’t believe anyone would buy without a gun to their heads.
Ford and I sit on one couch while Pax stretches out along another with Folgers. We eat our sandwiches, drink the horrible tea soda shit, and watch The Thing. I don’t know if the movie or tea is more horrifying. Enduring it for as long as he can, Ford takes our glasses and dumps the drinks in the sink. He returns with beers for him and Pax along with a peach-flavored Snapple for me.
The sandwiches are actually cool with all the cheeses melted together. Pax makes noises of approval and winks at me. Ford kicks his brother’s couch, causing Folgers to growl.
“Knock it off,” I snap.
While Ford frowns, Pax smiles like Mommy took his side for once. Folgers just ignores my existence.
Straddling Ford, I lean my forehead against his and whisper, “I’ll never find your brother even the least bit attractive. I’ll never fuck him. I view him as a little boy desperate for attention. Stop getting jealous or I’ll leave.”
“No, you won’t.”
Flopping next to him, I shrug. “True, but I’ll make more threats and that’ll be annoying.”
Smiling, Ford kisses the top of my head. “Feisty, I like that.”
Pax rolls onto his stomach and frowns. “Not that I want Ford beating on me again, but why they hell don’t you find me even a little fucking attractive? Seriously, what the fuck?”
“Are you going to cry?” Ford asks.
“Be nice,” I tell him then slide my leg over his. Looking at Pax, I try to find the right words to explain why he doesn’t do it for me. No amount of honesty will wipe the pissed look from his face, so I lie.
“I’m the first born and only another first born makes me horny. Sorry, baby bro.”
Pax likes this answer and nods. “You like them old and used up. I respect that.”
Laughing, I look up at Ford who rolls his eyes. He’s grinning though.
“Did you guys get Folgers from the pound?”
Pax pets the dog, but doesn’t answer. Ford only wraps his arm around my shoulders. Refusing to be ignored, I clear my throat and Ford finally speaks up.
“The club controls most of Little Memphis. Our president says what can happen in our territory, but people don’t always listen. Trigger never wanted dog fighting in town. He cared less about cock fighting, but the money is in dog fights. Trigger grew up on a farm and the hunting dogs were part of the family, so he has a soft spot for them. Some fuckwit ignored the rule about dog fights and ended up in jail.”
Ford wraps his arm tighter around me. Possessive like I might run if he doesn’t hold me close enough.
“When the asshole’s place was cleared out, most of the dogs were put down. They were too aggressive to be around people, but Folgers was a pup, probably around nine months. Even with his left ear mostly chewed off, he was friendly as hell. This was all happening when Pax and I got the house. I guess we were feeling like domesticated bastards, so a dog made sense. The end.”
“I like your story,” I say, running my hand up his sweater. “Happy endings are sexy.”
Ford grins. “When you say shit like that, I can’t believe you don’t hear how fucking dirty you sound.”
“Huh?”
Shaking his head, Ford kisses my forehead. “Never mind. Let’s watch the movie. The shit is about to hit the fan.”
I relax against him and focus on the movie. Whenever I hide my face against Ford’s chest during a scary scene, his arm tightens around me. I feel safe here with two men who aren’t safe. Mostly, I feel at home.
33
Ford
Replacing Home Run
Baseball is the only truly fond memory I have from growing up. Pax and I played only one season while living with Marcy. Her neighbor Coach Mike taught me how to land a punch. Throwing it was easy, he said. Where your punch lands is what matters.
Pax and I make a habit of visiting the batting cage every week when the weather isn’t too shitty. It’s our thing, yet now I’m bringing Shay. I might as well smack Pax in the face with a flashing sign saying, “YOU’RE BEING REPLACED!”
Shay isn’t even a little bit talented. She really tries to hit the ball, but I finally make her stop when she nearly pops her shoulder out of the socket.
“I’m getting the hang of it,” she whines when I use my hip to bump her out of the cage. “People will call me Slugette.”
“Slug maybe,” Pax mutters, taking her plac
e. “I hear your nickname Stripper is catching on.”
Shay glares at him then leans against me. “I think I hurt myself.”
“I’m sure you did.”
“I might need to soak in Darby’s big bathtub tonight.”
“That’ll be tricky with you sleeping at my place.”
Shay grins up at me. “Are you addicted? I only ask because you clearly are.”
“What about you? I can’t pry your ass off me for five seconds. Yeah, you got it bad.”
“Shut the fuck up!” Pax yells, swinging for the ball.
“Watch your language, young man!” Shay yells back.
Pax smiles then swings at the next ball. Shay nuzzles me, shivering in the cold evening.
“I like you,” she says, but I know this isn’t what she really wants to say.
“I like you too especially your tits.”
It’s not what I want to say either, but fantasies need lies to keep them alive.
Shay and I wrap our arms around each other to keep warm. For the next ten minutes, we watch Pax bash one ball after another. Occasionally, Shay cheers for one of his hits if the ball bounces in a cool way. Every time she claps, Pax winks at me like he’s stealing my woman away.
The batting cages are located in a large open area with basketball courts and a mini golf course. Except for a group of meth-fucked teenagers, the place is pretty empty. They yell when they’re happy. They yell when they’re pissed. By the time Lucky shows up with his kids, the teenagers are yelling because they’re cold.
“Shut the fuck up!” Lucky hollers at them.
The teenagers flip him off until they realize he’s with us. Despite their raised middle fingers, they don’t want to get beaten by bikers. Finally, they shut the fuck up.
“Hey, Lucky,” Shay says, still wrapped in my arms. “Hi, Paige and Joey.”
“What up?” Joey says like a little thug.
I roll my eyes at his tone, but Shay grins. He gives her a little nod and I realize he has a crush. Between Joey and the teenagers, I’m reminded about how much I hate kids.
“Glad to run into you,” Lucky says to me and I know a fucking lecture is coming. “Can we talk, Ford?”
I glance down at Shay with her chattering teeth and pink cheeks. She needs to go home. I’m ready to leave too. Yet Pax is still hitting balls and now Lucky wants to play papa bear.
Lucky and I sit down at the nearby empty tables. He’s tense in his low-key Lucky way.
“Get on with it,” I say, stretching my fingers out to relax them. “Is this the papa bear speech where I’m not good enough for your little girl and I need to back off? If so, you’re not her papa and I’m not backing off.”
“I got your number,” he mutters, giving me a grin. “No doubt you think you’re complicated as hell. I hate to tell you, Slugger, you ain’t complicated at all.”
I suck on my teeth and tap for him to get to the point.
“I want Shay to be safe and I hear you take good care of her. Hell, you gave her money for a pedicure.”
“Fuck,” I grumble. “Are there any secrets in this town?”
“Not when the girls talk, no. So Shay is good for you and I know you’re good for her. She lacks confidence and security. You give her both. That’s all good and I see you two sticking it out.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“Shut up and let me finish, Ford.”
Rolling my eyes, I gesture for him to continue.
“You don’t have to be alone. I don’t know any other enforcer that doesn’t hook up eventually. Shit, climbing in and out of different chicks’ beds gets hard eventually. Finding one bed to stay in ain’t about weakness. It’s about being smart, so let’s clear that out of the way. I’m happy as a fucking clam about you and Shay. Now, here’s why I want to talk to you.”
Lucky glances at his kids and finds Pax teaching Joey how to improve his swing. Shay and Paige are probably talking about their hair based on how they’re looking at the ends of their ponytails.
“You need to blow off Shay until you deal with this Paro fucker.”
“Here it goes.”
“No, I’m not talking about ending anything. If she’s going to be cool with your life, she needs to know jobs come along where you need space. This is that time. You can’t be dealing with the west side then running to Shay for a quickie. Crush the fuckers who messed with Tiny and the club, so Shay will be safer. Everyone will be safer. That’s your job for the club.”
I look at Shay and find her watching us. Thinking Lucky’s meddling, she wears the same expression as any girl when papa bear fucks with her life. I don’t want to go a day without seeing Shay, let alone however long it’ll take to deal with the Paro shit.
“This thing we have,” I mutter, “it’s not real. If I bail for a few days, who’s to say the fantasy doesn’t fall apart?”
Lucky gives me the same look I sense he gives to his kids. Having never seen him look at anyone in the club that way, I get my back up about him pitying me.
“You’re into Shay. Do you really think a few days apart will make her less hot?”
“Shit happens.”
“I should warn you that a chick like Shay will be clingy after your separation. When I get back from visiting my mom, Jenn attaches herself to me for days. She used to do it for longer, but I guess I’m not as irresistible as I once was.”
I glance at Shay again. Her arms are now crossed. She winks once she notices me looking at her. I grin then look back at Lucky.
“I’ll take a few days break, but you gotta tell me why you brought Shay to Little Memphis. She’s not your kid, so why bring her here and chance starting shit with your old lady?”
“You won’t believe me.”
“Then I won’t believe you, but I still want to know.”
“It’s not really about Shay, but about a chick I knew awhile back. Dani stripped at the same club years ago. I’d come in to chat her up. She was hot, but I wasn’t interested in cheating. I’d gone solo with Jenn by then or else I’d have made a move with Dani. Once I had my woman, I could look, but never touch.”
Lucky glances at his kids who are whining about the cold. “Dani had a lot of issues like Shay. Shitty parents and loser boyfriends. She was stuck in Hawthorne and I thought about bringing her here. I didn’t because I worried about Jenn assuming something. You know how rumors happen. Everyone would think Dani was my side chick. I didn’t need the hassle, so I never asked her. Each time I saw her, I considered asking her to leave Hawthorne, but I always chickened out.”
Lucky stands up. “Dani ended up in a dumpster. Cops never caught the fucker who did it. When I found out, I made a bunch of threats about finding the guy and making him pay. I never did because there’s nothing to go on. So a good woman like Dani was in a hard place in her life and I bailed. She wasn’t my responsibility, but I liked her and she didn’t deserve to be thrown away like trash. When I met Shay, she was beating down some pervert fucker and I took her for coffee. She reminded me of Dani. I got a gut feeling that if I walked away from her, I’d regret it.”
Lucky starts walking back to his kids and I follow them. “That’s the real story, but no one would fucking believe me. They want something bigger like she’s my long lost kid, so Jenn plays along. Shay’s a good girl and I wouldn’t mind her being mine. Too bad her real dad is a random fucker with big ears.”
“Yeah, she’s really missing out by not knowing him.”
Lucky laughs then waves for his kids to join him. “We’ll see you later.”
Shay gives him a quick hug before wrapping her arms around my waist.
“Tell me I’m still hot,” she whispers.
When I look her over to be sure, Shay rolls her eyes. “You look frozen in a way only a good fuck will fix.”
“Do you think you could spend the whole day with me without fucking? Would you even want to? I only ask because I’ll be on the rag soon.”
“Will this no fucking day i
nvolve any sucking?”
“Maybe once, but I won’t put much effort since I’ll be on the rag. I’m kinda bitchy during that time of the month and no amount of Midol will fix it. Talk about scary.”
I grin. “You’re kinda bitchy right now.”
Shay narrows her eyes. “I see.”
Leaning forward, I press my shoulder into her waist. Shay yelps when I pick her up, but doesn’t fight me. I walk to the cage and tell Pax we’re leaving.
“I’ll catch up with you,” he says, swinging again.
“I’m not leaving you with all these meth fucks.”
“Ahh…big brother love,” Shay says, dangling from me. “I like the view, by the way.”
I feel her goofing around with my back pockets. Ignoring her curious fingers, I snap for Pax to finish.
“I’m not scared of no fucking teenagers.”
“Meth fucks bite, Pax. You’re still healing from the last person to take a chunk out of you.”
Shay laughs. “Bit his dick.”
Pax glares at me. “You tell her everything, huh? Very whipped of you, turd.”
“Can we just fucking go before I freeze or drop Shay?”
“Crap,” she mutters. “I hate falling.”
Laughing, Pax leaves the cage. We walk to the parking lot with Shay swinging back and forth while holding onto my pockets. When I help her stand, she grins.
“Nice ass, Ford.”
“Back at you, darling,” I say, smacking hers. “Let’s go before those meth fucks decide to start trouble and I’m forced to bash in their empty heads.”
Shay climbs on behind me and smiles at Pax. “Did you see me nearly hit the ball earlier?”
Pax laughs. “Oh, I saw. Warmed my heart too.”
Their laughter gets drowned out by the Harleys’ engines, but Shay giggles the entire ride home. She’s in a great mood, so I don’t mention what Lucky said or how I’ll need to spend a few days apart. For the evening, I pretend everything is fine and I’m not dreading dropping her off in the morning.
34
Ford
Devour It All