My dearest Mia,
I don’t know how to begin to tell you what has happened. I am beside myself with grief. Today, when I arrived home, Papa wanted to speak with me. My heart soared, thinking at long last Mr. Preston had spoken with him. But, it was not Mr. Preston who had paid him a visit. It was Mr. Richardson asking for permission to speak with me about a marriage proposal.
I was so surprised at this turn of events and I argued with Papa. I begged him not to make me speak with Mr. Richardson before the last ball. I told him I loved Mr. Preston and that I was sure Mr. Preston would talk to him soon.
Mia, how can I tell you the terrible thing I have caused? I continued to argue and then Papa grabbed his chest and collapsed. The doctor came and said he had a weak heart and needed rest.
Mama was quite distant to me this evening. It must be so difficult for her to believe I was capable of such an awful act. Oh, my dearest friend, what am I to do? It pains me so to see Papa lying so still and Mama so worried. How do I make amends for this? Your wise counsel is greatly needed. Please send your reply as soon as possible.
In loving friendship,
Em
She sealed the letter and left it on her vanity. She would have to wait until the morning for Joseph to deliver it to Mia. With a heavy heart, she blew out the candle and climbed into bed. Tears filled her eyes again as she sunk into the pillows. It was going to be a long sleepless night of worry.
***
The next morning, Emily sought out Mrs. Jannell. She was anxious for the letter to be on its way as quickly as possible.
“Please have Joseph deliver this letter to Mrs. Giles right away. I am expecting an answer, so ask him to wait while Mrs. Giles pens it.”
“Yes, Miss Stanton. I will find him straight away.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Jannell. Is Papa’s breakfast ready yet?”
“It will be ready soon. Cook is preparing it now.”
Emily spoke up. “I will take the tray to Papa.”
She turned when she heard footsteps. Nesmith was coming down the stairs, surprise written on her face. “Miss Emily? What are you doing up so early?”
“I wanted to take Papa’s morning tray to him,” she said.
“Nonsense; that’s not something you need worry about. Let’s go upstairs and get you dressed. Then you will be ready to visit your father when he awakens,” Nesmith said.
“That’s fine. Thank you, Nesmith.”
Nesmith draped her arm around her shoulders and gave her a loving squeeze. “Come now,” she said as she guided her back upstairs to her bedchamber.
It wasn’t long before Emily was knocking lightly on her father’s door. “Mama, is Papa awake?” she whispered. She listened to the sound of padded footsteps heading toward the door.
Catherine opened the door. “Emily, dear, he’s not awake yet. I am waiting for him to open his eyes.”
“Mama, may I wait with you?”
Catherine nodded and stepped aside to let Emily into the room. “Yes, but please be as quiet as possible.”
Emily nodded and went inside the room. She glanced at her father and his eyes fluttered open.
“Emily dear, come closer,” Riley said with ragged breath.
Emily rushed to her father’s side. “Oh, Papa, how are you feeling?”
Her father grasped her hand. “I will be well. No need to worry.”
Emily lifted her father’s hand, kissed it and rested it against her cheek. “I am so very sorry for yesterday. Please, please forgive my rudeness. I never meant to hurt you. I will do as you asked.”
“Dearest child, look at me,” her father began. “There is nothing to forgive. It was not your fault, but mine. My silly heart gave me notice, that’s all.”
Tears of relief flowed down Emily’s face. She leaned in and kissed her father on the cheek. “Oh, Papa, thank you for lifting such a heavy burden from my heart. I cannot endure another moment thinking I had caused you such pain. I love you so very much and all I want is for you to get well.”
Catherine stood behind her. She rested her hand on Emily’s shoulder. “Come away now, dear, and let your father rest. You may visit him again later in the day.”
Emily kissed her father’s hand again before releasing it. She stood and faced her mother. “Mama, are you still angry with me?”
Catherine took a step back. “Angry? Why would I be angry with you?”
“Last night you seemed so distant.”
Catherine pulled her to her breast and hugged her tightly. “No, of course, I’m not angry. I had many worries on my mind last night. I thought it best we all got some rest. It was a very tiring day. That is all. There was no anger.”
Emily released a pent-up breath. “Thank you, Mama. I never want you to be angry with me.”
Her mother released her and pushed a stray lock of hair out of her face. “Go now, and have Cook make you a breakfast tray. I don’t want to worry about you not eating. Everything is going be fine now.”
Emily smiled. “Yes, Mama.” She looked over her shoulder. “Papa, I shall come again soon. Perhaps I can read to you for a bit.”
Riley nodded, and Emily left the room as Mrs. Jannell brought in the breakfast tray and put it on the table beside the bed.
“Here you go, sir. Ring if you need anything else.”
“Thank you,” Catherine said. She went and sat on the bed next to her husband. She fluffed up his pillows and coaxed him to eat a bite of biscuit. “My dear, you must eat if you are to regain your strength.”
“Yes, I know, but I’m very tired at the moment. Leave the tray, and I will eat later,” Riley murmured behind closed eyes.
Catherine kissed her husband’s cheek before climbing off the bed. “Of course, dear. I will check on you later.”
She found Emily sitting at the desk in the sunroom. A tray of tea and biscuits sat untouched on the table. “Emily, what is so urgent that you must pen a letter before you’ve had something to eat?”
Emily looked up. “Mama, I promised Papa that I would marry Mr. Richardson. I am inviting him to visit me.” She handed her mother the letter.
Catherine scanned the contents.
Dear Mr. Richardson,
I would welcome your visit at your earliest convenience.
Sincerely,
Miss Stanton
A smile spread on Catherine’s face. “This is such happy news. Your father will be thrilled. Mr. Richardson is a fine young man. He will be a good husband and you’ll be well taken care of.”
Emily took the letter from her mother’s outstretched hand. “Yes, Mama. Papa said as much.”
She folded and sealed the letter, but sadness filled her heart. How could she marry Mr. Richardson when she loved Mr. Preston? She had been so sure that Mr. Preston would propose, but why had he waited so long? She had convinced herself that he wouldn’t have written those letters and kissed her if he didn’t have feelings her. Now, nothing mattered. It was too late. She would marry Mr. Richardson. She had promised Papa and would honor her decision, but she didn’t understand the world of men.
***
The sun was high in the sky when Emily heard the coach outside. She was in the parlor and put her embroidery aside. She smoothed down her dress and waited for Mrs. Jannell to announce their guest. She was expecting Mr. Richardson to visit her and she composed herself to receive him.
She heard the footsteps in the hall and waited.
It was not Mr. Richardson who came.
She smiled when she saw Mia behind the housekeeper and rushed to her. “Oh, Mia, you’ve come.”
Mia hugged her. “Oh Em, I could think of no better place to be. I read your letter, and my heart ached for your anguish. How is your father? Please, tell me he will be well.”
Emily released her friend. “Papa is better, but still weak. Let’s go to the sunroom and have some tea. You must be weary from your trip, especially in your condition.”
Emily turned to the housekeeper. “Mrs. Jannell, may w
e have some tea, please?”
“Of course; I shall bring it shortly,” the housekeeper said, and hurried down the hall.
Emily took Mia’s hand. “Come. Let’s get you off your feet. You must rest.”
The two young women made themselves comfortable in the sunroom. The afternoon sunlight streamed in the windows, warming it and the cut roses from the garden scented the room with their sweet aroma.
“I’ve always loved this room,” Mia said. “It is so bright and cheery.”
“Yes, it’s my favorite room as well. I was waiting in the parlor for Mr. Richardson. When I heard the coach, I thought it was he, but I couldn’t have gotten a more pleasant surprise. Tell me, how are you feeling? Was the coach ride uncomfortable?”
“Oh no, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. It’s still very early.”
It wasn’t long before Mrs. Jannell delivered the tea, and a tray of refreshments.
“Thank you,” Emily said.
Mrs. Jannell nodded and slipped out of the room.
Mia grabbed Emily’s hand. “Tell me Em, how are you faring?”
“I am better today. Last night I couldn’t sleep a wink because I was so worried about Papa. My mind was in turmoil, but I did talk with Mama this morning. I was dreadfully mistaken about her anger. She wasn’t angry at me, only tired last night, that is all.”
“That’s good to hear. I did not think your Mother could be angry with you. And what of your father’s health?”
“The doctor said his heart is weak, but he will recover with the proper rest. I saw him earlier this morning and he places no blame on me for his condition.”
“That’s such good news. You must be so relieved.”
“Oh, Mia. My heart soared with his words. I would never be able to live with myself if I had caused him to be unwell.”
“I am glad for that.”
“Mia, thank you so much for coming today. You have no idea how much your presence comforts me, and is very much appreciated.”
Mia squeezed Emily’s hand. “I could think of no place that I would rather be than by your side in your time of need.”
“I have something else to tell you,” Emily said. “I have sent a letter to Mr. Richardson welcoming his visit.”
“Mr. Richardson? Oh, but I thought…”
“No, I can wait no longer for Mr. Preston’s visit. I promised Papa this morning that I would marry Mr. Richardson and I will abide by my word. I must not upset him while he recovers.” Emily looked at her friend, her eyes welling with tears.
“Em, please don’t cry, my dearest friend. Life is so unfair sometimes, but Mr. Richardson seems like a kind man. I’ve spoken with him on a number of occasions and I regard him highly. I know he will treat you well and will be a good husband.”
Emily took a deep breath and wiped away her tears. “Indeed he is, and the decision is made. I will honor it.”
“All will be well, you’ll see.”
“I can only hope that will be true,” Emily said. “Now, how long can you stay?”
“Only until tomorrow. Mr. Giles will be returning home and I must be home to greet him. I don’t want to wait any longer and wish to tell him of my special news.”
“He will be thrilled, I’m sure.”
“Yes, I can’t wait to see his face.”
Chapter 11
For the next few days Emily spent as much time with her father as he could handle, reading his favorite books to him and coaxing him to eat. It was the least she could do. She felt responsible for his condition no matter what Papa and Mama told her. She would do everything in her power to make up for her selfishness. She was on her way to her father’s bedroom for her morning visit when Nesmith met her in the hallway.
“Emily, good news. Your father is in his study this morning.”
“He is?”
“Yes. He went down the stairs not too long ago.”
Emily was filled with relief as she hugged the lady’s maid. “Thank you, Nesmith. I’ll go see him now.” She bounded down the stairs, ecstatic that her father felt well enough to be out of bed so shortly after his attack. She knocked on the study door and waited.
“Come in,” Riley said.
Emily eased the door open, and poked her head inside. “Papa, would you like some company?”
Riley smiled at her. “Yes, please come in. I want to talk to you.”
Emily felt her insides clench. She believed Papa wanted to talk about Mr. Richardson’s upcoming visit. She let no emotion show on her face, steeled herself, and walked into his study. She kissed him on the cheek. “Papa, it’s so wonderful to see you out of bed. How are you feeling?”
“Getting stronger every day; nothing for you to worry about.” Riley took her hand in his own. “But, I must ask you to do something for me.”
“Of course, Papa. What do you need?”
It took a moment for Riley to answer. He breathed deeply gathering his strength. “I want you to go to the ball tomorrow, and put on your prettiest smile for everyone to see.”
Emily frowned and shook her head. “No, Papa. I don’t want to go. I want to stay here with you.”
Riley stroked her cheek. “You’re a father’s delight, Emily, but this is something that needs to be done for the good of the family.”
“For the family? I don’t understand what you mean?”
Riley patted his daughter’s hand before releasing it and sat back heavily in the chair. He took another deep breath before continuing. “I know, let me explain. Have a seat.”
Emily sat in the chair in front of his desk and waited.
“The Stanton name has always stood strong, and it must continue in that manner no matter what is going on with us personally. If you do not attend the last ball of the season, people will talk, and tongues will start wagging with falsehoods. If anyone catches wind of my attack, they’ll think I’m dying. I don’t wish false rumors to be circulated about our conspicuous absence.”
Emily leaned forward. “Oh Papa, no one would think you’re weak and dying.”
“Yes, sweetheart, they would. People are funny that way, always looking for the worst in any situation. I’ll not have it. Go to the ball with your mother. It will give me the time I need to regain my strength without those wagging tongues spreading untruths about me. Everyone will think I’ve gone away on business. Many in our circle know that I can only stomach so many balls in one season anyway.”
Emily laughed in spite of the gravity of her Papa’s request. He had a way of phrasing things that brought out the giggles in her. She studied his face and did not want to imagine her life without his strong presence. She nodded. “I see, Papa. Of course I will go, but it won’t be the same without you.”
“Good. It’s settled. Now, please give me some time to tend to family affairs while I have the energy?”
Emily stood, walked around his desk and kissed his cheek. “Of course, Papa. I will visit with you again later. Try not to tax yourself.” She slipped out, and closed the door behind her.
She went in search of her mother and found her in the sunroom, going over the evening menu. “Mama, have you talked with Papa today?”
Catherine looked up from her papers. “What dear?”
“I just saw Papa, and he said we have to go to the ball tomorrow night without him.”
Catherine put the menu down, and turned toward her. “Yes, we discussed the matter this morning before he went down to his office. He is correct and I agree. We must keep up appearances and it will be best if we attend the ball. You know how the ladies of the ton love to gossip. Let’s not give them something to gossip about.”
“But, should he be left alone? I’m worried about him.”
“Do not worry, dear. The staff is here, and we needn’t stay long. Once we have made our pleasantries, we can slip out and return home.”
Emily breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s good. I do not feel in a dancing mood, especially without Papa there with us.”
“I know
. All will be fine. Don’t worry. Give me a few minutes to confer with Cook and we’ll decide on which dress you’ll wear.”
“Of course, Mama. I’ll be upstairs.”
***
Emily and her mother entered the ballroom.
“Emily, I shall be no more than one hour. I must speak with Mrs. Richardson. Why don’t you go socialize and take in a dance or two? Keep that pretty smile on your face, okay?”
“Yes, Mama. I’ll be ready to leave whenever you feel best.”
Her mother kissed forehead. “Go enjoy yourself for a bit. I will find you later.”
Emily nodded and turned away. She made her way into the ballroom, looking for a familiar face, but it was Ethan Richardson who found her first.
“Miss Stanton, a word please.”
Emily did not want to talk to Ethan here, but she could hardly be rude to her future husband. She followed him to a secluded corner. “Yes, Mr. Richardson?”
“I was so very sorry to hear of your father’s recent health issue. How fares he now?” Ethan asked.
Emily didn’t realize she had been holding her breath. She’d been so preoccupied with not wanting to talk about their impending engagement that she never gave it a thought that Mr. Richardson would ask about her father’s health. She looked around with panic-stricken eyes to make sure no one would overhear their conversation. “Oh, Mr. Richardson, I didn’t know word had gotten out about his health crisis.”
Ethan gave her hand a squeeze. “Have no fear, it is not widely known. I have not spoken of it with anyone, but I can see the worry on your face. It must have been dreadful for you.”
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