by Jill Shalvis
Her nipples hardened. “You’re not looking at the night,” she pointed out.
“No.” Ford kept his fingers on her, stroking lightly back and forth until her thighs pressed together. In her high-heeled sandals, her toes curled a little bit. His gaze toured her body, ending at said toes, and a small smile curved his mouth. He knew exactly what he did to her. “Heard about the massage oil incident,” he said.
“Oh my god. Facebook?”
“Yeah. Look at it this way: people will be lining up to book a room now.”
She groaned, and he laughed. “It’s not that bad,” he said. “And it’s got to be better than having everyone think you’re constipated.”
“I was never constipated! And can you never bring that up again, please? Ever?”
He grinned, and something warm slid through all her good spots. She pointed at him. “Don’t you look at me like that, like you want…” Like he wanted to eat her up. Whole.
His soft laugh scraped at her erogenous zones. “Want me to tell you?”
“No!”
From somewhere far off, maybe the pier, maybe Lucille’s place down the road, came music. Something slow, melodic, achingly beautiful and just a little bit haunting.
Ford rose with the fluid grace that only the totally physically fit with good knees could accomplish and tugged Tara to her feet as well.
“What?” she asked, sucking in a breath when he pulled her in against him, gently rocking them to the music.
“Are we slow dancing?” she murmured as they moved together.
“Yeah. We’re slow dancing.”
And she’d accused him of not being romantic. He was warm up against her and strong. He had one big hand low on her back, nearly on her butt, leaving her with the urge to wriggle until his fingers slid lower.
“Keep squirming,” he murmured in her ear, still moving them to the beat of the music, “and I’ll tell you what I want.”
“What do you want?” she asked, unable to stop herself.
He put his mouth to her ear and told her. In graphic detail.
And she promptly, and purposely, squirmed some more.
Ford laughed, then kissed her just beneath her ear. And then touched his tongue to the same spot. When she shivered, he did it again as his hand stroked up and down her back. It was soothing, and also arousing, as it was when he slid a hand down and cupped her. She moaned, and he let out a rough sound of his own at the feel of her. “I can’t stop touching you. I think about it all damn day and all damn night, touching you, having you touch me back.”
She felt herself completely melt in his arms. The music came to an end, and they stopped swaying. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to tilt her head up and meet him halfway for a kiss.
“Dammit,” she said when he lifted his head.
“That’s a new reaction to a kiss,” he said.
“I mean this is… romantic.” She gave him an annoyed look. “And you have some serious moves, too. Good ones.”
“Yeah?” His eyes were dark. Intense. “Well then, here’s some more.” And he covered her mouth with his.
All thinking ceased. It was as if someone switched her brain to OFF, then opened the floodgates for desire. It hummed through her body, making her nerve endings twitch and tingle. A sound escaped her throat, horrifying in its neediness, but she didn’t care. She simply pressed herself closer to him, desperately, hungrily seeking more.
More, more, more…
He pulled her in and turned her, pressing her back against a wood pylon, freeing up his hands for other things. Tara wrapped her arms around him, beneath his shirt and up the bare, sleek skin of his back, and then down to his butt.
Which she squeezed.
She couldn’t help it. It was a very squeezable butt.
Ford ran his thumb across her nipple while his mouth did something decadent to her neck. She could feel him hard and ready, and she rubbed shamelessly against him, soaking up the feel of him, his scent. She opened her mouth to speak but he nibbled her bottom lip and then kissed her again, making her moan.
“Tell me this is leading back to one of our beds,” he said a little hoarsely when they broke apart for air. “I don’t care whose.”
Everything inside her wanted to say oh yes, please. “And then what?” she asked, holding her breath.
“And then I’m going to get you naked, and make you a very, very happy woman. All night long.”
That sounded good, but she knew herself well enough to know that by morning, she’d be left fighting the emotions that being with him like this brought. She’d be all that much closer to the point of no return, at least for her heart. Ford was an amazing guy, a good guy. Maybe even The Guy for her—but not just for a night. Or were they past that now? She’d lost their place, she wasn’t sure, and more than that, she was afraid. Still so very afraid that this was out of her reach. “And then…?”
“And then all day long,” he murmured against her skin, running his hands over her body. “And then all night long again.”
Yes. Yes, she knew he could do just that. And she also knew he was missing what she was getting at. That maybe he was missing it on purpose. “Ford, wait.”
He didn’t. He was, in fact, very busy trailing wet, open-mouthed kisses along her throat, silencing any protest she might have made.
And for a minute, she let him. She couldn’t help it. He kissed like heaven on earth, and before she knew it she was kissing him. When they were breathless, he cupped her face in his hands, letting his lips brush her temple, her jaw. Then he dipped his tongue into the hollow at the base of her throat, and she felt a shiver wrack her entire body. Her fingers were in his hair now, and she couldn’t let go. “Ford? And then what?”
He lifted his head. There was no mistaking the hunger and desire on his beautiful face, or the confusion as he gave one short shake of his head. “What is it?” he asked. “What do you want to hear? Tell me.”
No. She didn’t want to have to do that. “Never mind. Just quick, kiss me and shut me up.”
He did without question, and this time she had to lock her knees. Because it was too late to protect herself, far too late to worry about if she deserved to fall for him because she already had.
Again.
Oh, God. Just the thought left her wobbly. This was going to require a lot of obsessing, and maybe some more chips. Certainly a bottle of wine, and in all likelihood her sisters as well. Not for their wisdom, but to smack her upside the head for even secretly yearning for this.
For him.
For keeps.
“I’m sorry. I have to go,” she whispered, still plastered to him like a second skin.
“What?”
She grimaced at herself for being a coward. “Early morning.”
Something in her voice must have alerted him to the impending meltdown because he let her pull away, not stopping her when she straightened her dress, or when she left him on the dock.
He let her go without a word; without asking anything of her.
And wasn’t that the entire problem in a nutshell? He let her go.
He always let her go.
Chapter 20
“Remember, you’re unique. And so is everyone else.”
TARA DANIELS
The next morning, their guests left before dawn. The woman assured Tara that everything had been great, and then asked for a sample of the oil to go.
Tara put Mia to work sweeping the wood floors, which seemed to gather dust faster than a fat dog could gather fleas. “Careful not to stir it all up into the air,” Tara told her. “It irritates Chloe’s throat, and she’ll need to use her inhaler.”
“It’s sweet that you worry about her,” Mia said.
Tara laughed. She, Chloe, and Maddie were just about anything but sweet. No, scratch that, because Maddie was sweet. Tara and Chloe? Not so much.
Mia disappeared upstairs to sweep the hallway, and Tara met with Maddie in the marina office to go over paperwork. Chloe
was allergic to paperwork more than dust, so she was outside in the sun, on a yoga mat in the downward-facing-dog position. By the time Tara returned to the inn Mia was nowhere to be seen, although her broom was leaning against a wall in the upstairs hallway.
“Shh!” This came from behind the bathroom door. “She’ll hear.”
Mia’s voice, followed by Carlos’s soft laugh, and a second more emphatic “Shh” from Mia.
Dammit. Dammit, Tara thought. They were in there messing around. Now see, this was why animals ate their young. Ready to rumble, she whipped open the door and blinked.
Her daughter and Carlos sat on the countertop, separated by the sink. Mia had a laptop on her thighs, the screen facing Carlos, who was cracking up. At the sight of her, he sobered and got to his feet. “Ms. Daniels.”
Weak with relief that they weren’t having sex, Tara leaned back against the door, then realized they were staring at her. “You’re not working,” she said.
“Well, not exactly,” Mia said. “But it is about the inn.” She turned the laptop in Tara’s direction.
“Mia—” Carlos tried to block the view. “Not a good idea—”
“She’s going to find out sooner or later, and it might as well be from us.” Mia revealed the screen. Facebook, of course, the bane of Tara’s existence. She’d been forewarned by Logan, but it was another thing entirely to see it herself.
The picture was grainy and blurry, probably from a cell phone, but it was clear enough. Tara, climbing onto Ford’s boat with her basket of muffins, followed by the line:
A secret rendezvous between a certain sexy sailing champion and a very beautiful innkeeper. Guess a certain poll is null and void.
There was another pic of Ford and Tara standing on the marina dock. The shot was incredibly revealing and intimate, Ford trapping Tara against a pylon, his mouth devouring hers. Tara’s hands were fisted in his shirt, and he had one hand tangled in her hair, the other tightly wrapped around her back.
Guess this leaves superstar NASCAR driver Logan Perrish out in the cold. No worries, Logan, we’re running a new poll starting today. Log in and give us choices for The Bachelor, Lucky Harbor Style. Single ladies, sign up to date sexy Logan now!
Tara stared at the screen in horror. “Did you—”
“No,” Mia said quickly. “I didn’t take either pic. Neither of us did. You have a spy. I was about to post a comment that people need to mind their own stinking business and leave you to yours.”
Tara smiled grimly. “You don’t know the locals here very well yet. Minding their own business isn’t a strong suit.”
Carlos turned to the door. “I should go. I got something to do…”
When he’d vanished, Tara raised a brow at Mia, who shrugged. “He’s the tough guy at his school. But you scare him.”
“I’ve never scared him.”
“You do. He’s worried you’re going to kill him.”
Tara paused. “Has he given me a reason to kill him?”
“It’s more that he thinks you can read minds, and that you’ll kill him for what’s on his. Boys are kind of obvious that way, you know?”
Yes, Tara knew. She just didn’t like that Mia knew.
“You won’t kill him, right?” Mia asked.
Tara sighed. “Do you like him that much?”
“Yes. I love him,” her daughter said without hesitation.
“Love? Mia, it’s only been—”
“I know what I feel,” her daughter said with the conviction of a seventeen-year-old. She shut the laptop and leaned back against the counter. “Remember when you said you’d answer any question I might have? Does that still stand?”
Oh boy. “Ask,” Tara said bravely.
“I’ve been wondering why you lost contact with Ford after you had me. You two loved each other, and yet by all accounts, you just walked away.”
Tara drew in a long breath. “I went back home. To Texas. It’s pretty far from Lucky Harbor.”
“Yes, but there are phones. Computers. The U.S. mail service. And your mom lived here.”
“Phoebe didn’t live here, not yet. She was only visiting that summer, and… and well, Ford and I had only met that summer, and we each had our lives.” Lame excuses. And Mia deserved better. “Part of it was that I wasn’t nearly as mature as you.”
“You didn’t want to keep in contact?” Mia asked. “You didn’t like him anymore?”
“Mia, it wasn’t that simple, and we were just kids.”
“You could have come back here instead of going to Texas.”
“No, because Phoebe didn’t stick here, either. But even if she had, I wasn’t used to living in a small town. It was different.”
“Good different?”
No. Tara had felt claustrophobic and smothered, but she didn’t want to say that. “I was used to more. And I wanted to go to school in Texas, to Texas A&M.”
“A big college,” Mia murmured.
“Yes, and…” Tara trailed off, at a loss on how to make it sound logical when the truth was it hadn’t been logical at all. Her reactions had been of sheer emotion. “Honestly, I was just trying to keep it together, and not doing all that great a job.” Tara took Mia’s hand. “But I’d like to think I’ve done a lot of growing up since then. If I could go back now, I’d—”
What?
What would she do differently? She wasn’t sure.
“You can’t go back,” Mia said quietly. “Even I know that much. You can’t ever go back.”
Wasn’t that the truth.
With a sigh, Mia turned to the door. Tara followed, just happening to glance down at the trash can.
At the empty condom wrapper right on top.
She stared at it, then slowly looked up at Mia. Who was also looking at the empty condom wrapper, chewing on her lower lip and looking guilty as hell.
“Maddie’s,” Tara said hopefully.
Mia gnawed on her lip some more and slowly shook her head. “No. Not Maddie’s.”
“But you said you weren’t having sex,” Tara said with what she felt was remarkable calm.
“No, I said I wasn’t having unprotected sex.”
“God.” Tara pressed her fingers to her eyes. “Mia…”
“Do you want me to go?”
“No! I want…” She dropped her hands from her face and met Mia’s shuttered gaze. “I want you to be able to tell me the truth.”
“Really? You wanted me to tell you I was having sex with Carlos?” Mia asked with disbelief, winding up to a defensive stance.
“Yes!”
Mia shook her head. “Did you tell your parents when you were having sex with Ford?”
Tara staggered back and leaned against the counter. No. No, she hadn’t told anyone what she’d shared with Ford. It’d been for them alone. “I’m failing you,” she whispered. “This is all my fault, somehow.”
Mia sighed. “No, it’s not. It has nothing to do with you. And you’re acting like I’m too young or something.”
“You are too young.”
“Because you weren’t doing the exact same thing when you were my age?”
Tara opened her mouth, then shut it, at a complete loss. “Mia, having sex is a huge emotional commitment, and I don’t think any seventeen-year-old can possibly be ready for it.”
“Yes, well, I need to make my own mistakes,” Mia said. “Not yours. Mine. And for this to work, you’re going to have to let me.”
“Mia—”
But she was gone.
Tara needed a sister bad. Chloe was off God knew where doing God knew what, but Tara found Maddie at Jax’s house on the bluff. They sat outside on his deck, and while he barbecued, Tara filled Maddie in on how she’d screwed up with Mia. “Epic failure,” she said as Maddie poured them both wine. “And the worst part of all is that I practically hand-delivered Carlos right into her lap. I de-virginized my own daughter!”
“You don’t know that Carlos was her first.”
Tara went sti
ll as she absorbed that, then groaned and covered her eyes. “Okay, not helping.”
“Look,” Maddie said finally. “Seventeen is nothing but one big pleasure button, from head to toe. You know that. And Mia and Carlos care deeply for each other. You know that too. At least she’s with someone who thinks the sun rises and sets on her. He’ll make it good for her, Tara.”
Tara groaned again.
“What, you’d rather she be with someone who doesn’t care about her needs?”
“I’d rather she be with no one at all!” Tara said. “At least not until she’s thirty-five, or I’m dead. Whichever comes last. And can we not talk about her having sex?” She winced. “Let’s concentrate on getting her to like me.”
“She does.” Maddie sipped from her glass, her gaze slipping to Jax where he stood at the grill about twenty feet away, turning over the chicken. “Remember how you felt when I wanted you and Chloe to stay with me here in Lucky Harbor, and all you wanted to do was run like hell?”
“Yes.” It’d been a tough time for all of them, facing the rush of fresh memories from simply setting foot inside Lucky Harbor. But Maddie had been searching for a place to belong, and at the inn, she’d found it. With Jax, she’d found it. Tara had been thrilled for her sister.
And resigned to sticking around longer than she’d wanted in order to protect their investment—the inn—and to make sure her sisters were okay. Tara had stuck until it hadn’t been an obligation. Until it’d somehow become natural to live here.
“Chloe and I won you over with our charm, and that charm is hereditary,” Maddie said on a smile. “You’ll charm Mia too, you’ll see.”
“I gave her up at birth,” Tara said. “I let someone else raise her. I don’t think charm can help me with her.”
“You had valid reasons,” Maddie reminded her gently. “And Mia knows that. Honey, she came looking for you. Give her some time to put it all together and understand. It’s time to stop grieving over what you lost out on and live for the now.”
Jax came up behind Maddie and set down a plate of grilled veggies that looked mouthwatering. He squeezed Maddie’s shoulder, then leaned in for a quick nuzzle and kiss. “Okay?” he asked.