by Beth Andrews
Easy for him to say. He wasn’t the one trying to keep a low profile.
Sitting back, Faith linked her hands together in her lap. She’d been so intent on getting through the evening, on acting as normal as possible, that she hadn’t considered the consequences of being seen with Nick. While there had been the expected initial buzz when she and Austin had moved to town, curiosity had died quickly.
Because they’d faded into the background.
And it wasn’t just Erin she had to worry about now. Dozens of people had seen them together, walking down the street, enjoying a meal.
“You okay?” Nick’s gaze was intense. As it had been when he’d asked her about Serenity Springs. As if he was searching for something.
“I…I don’t like to be gossiped about,” Faith said lamely. “Besides, won’t a rumor like that hurt your reputation?”
His lips twitched. “I think my rep as a carefree bachelor will survive.”
Ducking her head, she viciously twisted the paper napkin in her lap. Of course Nick would survive. To him, it was harmless chitchat.
A group of boys Austin’s age raced past the booth on their way to the video games.
“Whoa,” Nick said, pulling the last one onto the seat next to him. “If your mom finds out you were running through a restaurant like that, she’ll shave your head.”
The boy crossed his arms over his sandy-colored curls. “No way. I’m growing it out.”
“You grow it much more,” Nick said, nudging the boy with his elbow, “you won’t be able to fit a ball cap on it. This is my sister Kathleen’s son, Trevor,” he told Faith. “Trev, this is Ms. Lewis—she works for Aunt Britney—and her son, Austin.”
“Nice to meet you,” Trevor said with a grin that showed off his braces. He turned to Austin. “Hey.”
“Hi,” Austin mumbled, staring at his shoes.
“What are you doing here?” Nick asked. “Besides causing trouble?”
“It’s Josh’s birthday so we’re going to have pizza and then sleep out in his backyard. And I bet Matthew five bucks I could beat him at Donkey Kong.”
“Well, you’d better get to it.”
Before Trevor could slide out of the seat, Faith caught Nick giving his nephew a pointed look, then nodding his head ever so slightly at Austin. Her heart lodged in her throat at the simple, sweet gesture.
When they’d first arrived in Kingsville, she’d tried to get Austin to make friends, encouraged him to invite kids from school over to their house or to attend after-school activities, but he’d been so against it she’d backed off. She’d never stopped hoping he would come out of his shell.
Or stopped worrying that her fears, her choices were the reason he’d built that shell in the first place.
“Hey, Austin, you want to come, too?” Trevor asked, as polite and charming as his uncle.
“No.” Austin jumped to his feet and turned to Faith. “Can we leave now?”
She opened her mouth, only to shut it again. Reprimanding him about his lack of manners in front of a boy his own age certainly wouldn’t help matters.
“The guys are waiting for me, Uncle Nick,” Trevor said quietly.
“You’d better go then. I’ll see you at practice next week.”
“Nice to meet you.” He tossed the words over his shoulder to Faith as he took off.
Something in Faith burned as she watched Trevor join his friends while her son stood alone, his face set, his hands fisted at his sides. “It’s not that late,” she said gently. “If you want to play some more, you can.”
“I don’t. I just want to go home.”
“Honey…” She reached for him, but he stepped back and she dropped her hand. “We’ll leave as soon as I pay the bill.”
“I’m going to wait outside.”
She almost told him no. That she wanted him to wait with her where she could see he was safe, but she noticed him trying to blink away tears.
“That’s fine.” After all, it was still light out and she had a clear view of the sidewalk. “I’ll be right out.”
“He okay?” Nick asked after Austin left.
No. He should be over with the other boys, joining in on their laughter and horseplay. Austin used to be so outgoing. Friendly. Until they left Serenity Springs. Now he was someone she barely recognized. Having her son was the one thing, the only thing, she’d ever done right, and she was somehow messing it up. Making everything worse.
“He’s fine,” she croaked, swallowing the tears clogging her throat. Sliding out of the booth, she dug into her purse for her wallet. “Just…tired probably. He was up late last night.”
Nick picked up the bill the waiter had left. “Why don’t you let me get this? That way you can go out with him.”
She snatched it from him. “This is my treat, remember?”
Nick stuck his hands into his front pockets. “Not your treat. More like your way of repaying me so you don’t feel as if you owe me. So you don’t have to wonder if I feel as if you owe me.” Their waiter, carrying a tray of salads, walked past them, forcing Nick to step closer to Faith. “Or what I may want from you in return.”
Pressure built in her chest until she couldn’t take a full breath. He must be a better cop than she’d realized. And that was something she couldn’t afford to forget again.
“It’s my treat,” she repeated firmly, but since the hand holding the check trembled, she hid it behind her back. “And my way of thanking you for your help with the water heater.”
He studied her for a long moment before inclining his head. “My mistake. Why don’t I go out and wait with Austin.” And then he went outside.
They walked back to her house in awkward silence. Austin rode next to them slowly, both wheels firmly on the road, his eyes straight ahead. At the end of their block, he sped up so that by the time she and Nick reached her house, he was already on the front porch, waiting to be let inside.
Faith hurried up the steps and handed Austin the box of leftover pizza so she could dig through her purse for her house keys. The moment she’d unlocked the door he rushed past her.
“Please put the pizza in the fridge,” she called.
“’Kay,” he muttered from inside.
“Night, Austin,” Nick said.
A door slammed.
“I’m so sorry,” she said in a rush. “I’m not sure what’s gotten into that boy.”
“Like you said, he must be overtired.”
“Tired or not, there’s no excuse for being so rude.” Nibbling her cheek, she glanced anxiously inside. When she turned back, Nick had edged closer.
She gasped, then tried to cover it by faking a yawn. “Sorry. I guess I’m…more tired than I realized.”
One corner of his mouth quirked up. “It’s barely nine o’clock.”
“Yes, well, I had to get up early….” She reached behind her, felt the doorknob and almost wilted in relief. Her stomach fluttered, her palms grew damp. For God’s sake, she used to wrap men around her little finger, used to get whatever she wanted by batting her eyelashes. And now she couldn’t even stand on her own front porch with one.
It was pathetic.
And after spending a few hours in Nick’s company it was way too easy to forget she wasn’t an ordinary single mom spending time with her son and a very nice, attractive man. But if Austin’s behavior tonight had proved one thing, it was that she needed to keep her focus. On her son. And their secrets.
“Thanks again for all your help. I guess I’ll see you around sometime.”
In the twilight, his teeth flashed in a quick grin. “I’m sure you will.”
Before she could make it into the safety of her house, Nick reached behind her. Faith froze, her breath trapped in her lungs, as he gently pulled the door shut.
“What—what are you doing?”
“Now, you see, the thing is, I’ve never walked a pretty woman to her door without kissing her good-night.” He seemed amused. “I don’t want to break that traditi
on.”
She pressed back against the door. “All good things must come to an end.”
“True. But not tonight.”
He leaned down and she slapped both hands against his chest. Felt his heart under her fingers, the pace of it steady and strong. And a far cry from her own erratic beating. “This wasn’t a real date,” she squeaked.
“It doesn’t have to mean anything, Faith,” he said, his breath stirring the loose tendrils of hair by her ear. “It’s just a kiss. Just to keep my streak alive.”
Still smiling, he slowly closed the distance between them. She kept her eyes on his as he brushed his mouth against hers. By God, if she was going to be kissed by a man for the first time in over four years, she was damn well going to do it with her eyes open.
He kept his arms at his sides while he kissed her again, his touch as soft as the evening breeze. When he eased back, his smile was gone. Her knees were weak. Her nerve endings tingled. A longing to lean into him, to just…be held by him, filled her. But only because she hadn’t been with a man in so long. Because she felt so alone sometimes.
He lowered his head toward her again, his eyes dark.
“Night,” she blurted, before slipping inside and quietly shutting the door on him.
Her heart pounding, she leaned back, her head hitting the wall with a solid thump. Though that brief encounter could barely even qualify as a kiss, she still tasted him. She pressed her lips together. Hearing his footsteps, she reached for the curtain and peeked out in time to watch him walk to his car.
He didn’t look back.
She didn’t want him to. There was no reason. Obviously, what had happened hadn’t concerned him, so why should she let it stress her? Shutting off the porch light, she made her way through her dark house up the stairs. This time things would work out for her and Austin. As long as she continued to fool everyone, they’d be safe. As for Nick? Well, after the way she’d just shot him down, she doubted she’d have to worry about him anymore.
THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.
Faith cringed as she took down the last pair of Austin’s underwear from the makeshift clothesline she’d constructed in the backyard. Austin sure had taken Nick’s advice to heart. Ever since Nick gave him ideas on how to improve his coordination, he hadn’t touched his video-game system. A fact she was grateful for, truly. But now her son spent every last waking minute bouncing a tennis ball against the side of the house. The constant thump, thump, thump was driving her crazy.And if he broke a window, she was sending the bill to Nick.
Thunder rumbled softly in the distance as Faith set the full laundry basket on the back steps. The evening air was thick with the threat of rain. They were due for a storm later. Quickening her pace, she crossed the yard and unhooked one end of the plastic-coated rope, which she wound around her arm as she walked back to the house, hanging it on a hook by the door.
She picked up the basket. “Time to go in, Austin.”
He neatly caught the tennis ball with one hand. “Ten more minutes?”
“That’s what you said ten minutes ago.”
He seemed to consider this. “Five more minutes?” he asked, his tone ever hopeful.
“Sure. Five minutes.” He whooped and tossed the ball again. She hunched her shoulders against the sound. “As in,” she continued, “if you’re not in the shower in five minutes, your bedtime for the week will be seven o’clock. And you need to be quick because we’re supposed to get a thunderstorm.”
“Aww, Mom.”
“Aww, Austin.”
His head hanging, he marched past her into the house.
She tipped her face to the gray sky and inhaled deeply. Peace. Glorious peace. Thank you, God.
Pushing open the door with her free hand, she maneuvered herself and the laundry inside.
It’d been three days since they’d gone out for pizza, and she hadn’t seen or heard from Nick since.
The shower turned on as she reached the top of the stairs. She went into her bedroom and set the basket on her twin-size bed. Any worries that Nick had a thing for her were baseless. Not to mention egotistical. Just because he’d asked her out before and then kissed her hardly meant the man was enraptured with her. And his not contacting her was a huge relief.
Although you’d think that when you bought a guy dinner and let him kiss you, he could at least have the courtesy to call.
Huffing out a breath, she began to fold clothes and set them in neat piles. It didn’t matter if Nick ever spoke to her again. It’d be best if he didn’t. He obviously believed the story she’d told him about her past, and most importantly, her marriage. If they were to…socialize he might want to get to know her even better. Since she scarcely knew herself anymore, that couldn’t happen.
Picking up the piles of Austin’s underwear and socks, she went into his room. She put the clean clothes in his dresser, went back for his T-shirts and noticed the shower had shut off.
She knocked on the bathroom door. “Did you wash your hair?”
The water started again.
It must’ve been the quickest hair washing on record because not three minutes later, Austin came into his room.
“It’s not even dark outside,” he complained, his hair a wet mass hanging in his face, the baggy Spiderman boxers that had fit him perfectly when she’d bought them not six months ago now two inches too short. “Why did I have to come in?”
“Because you’ve been bouncing that ball against the house for over an hour. Give me a break, would you?” She crossed to the end of the bed for the last T-shirt, her foot catching on something. “What’s this?” Pulling the wide black strap off her foot, she slid Austin’s Transformers’ backpack out from under the bed. Grunted at its unexpected weight. “I thought you lost this.”
“Don’t!” Austin snatched the bag from her. “That’s my stuff.”
“First of all, you need to settle down and watch your tone. Secondly, I wasn’t trying to take your stuff. But if this bag is so important to you, why is it under the bed? And why did you tell me it was lost?”
He hugged it to his chest and shrugged.
Something was definitely going on here. “Come on…” Sitting on the bed, she patted the mattress beside her. “Let’s talk about this.”
He didn’t raise his head. “It’s just some stuff I like to keep packed. So when you asked me why I wasn’t using it for school, I said I lost it. Because I need to keep it under my bed.”
“Can I see?” She held out her hand. After a long moment, Austin slowly gave her the backpack. “Thanks.”
She unzipped the bag and began emptying it. By the time she was done, she had a sizable pile of some of Austin’s favorite things, including two Captain Underpants books, four Lego kits, at least a dozen Matchbox cars, the remote control Jeep she’d bought him for his birthday and his new X-Men comic book.
“Honey,” she said, “I don’t understand. What is all of this?”
“I’m tired of leaving all my stuff behind when we have to move,” he said softly.
“But if you keep it packed, you can’t play with any of these things. Wouldn’t it be better to—”
“No.” He shook his hair out of his face. “I don’t care if I can’t play with them. This way I can get them. I don’t have to leave them behind.”
Oh, God. It was as if someone had taken a baseball bat to her stomach. Faith bent forward and tried to catch her breath. This was her fault. All her fault. She was constantly uprooting him, forcing him to lie and live on the run.
Worse was how she’d ignored all the signs and symptoms. How she’d hoped time would heal Austin’s wounds. No wonder he’d gotten so upset when Nick had mentioned baseball sign-ups. Austin figured they wouldn’t be in town long so why bother trying out for the team? Why bother making friends when he’d have to leave them.
He was protecting himself when she should be the one protecting him. The one making him feel loved and safe, yes, but also secure. He deserved that. He deserved more than wh
at she was doing to him.
Faith smoothed a hand over his damp hair. “You can unpack the bag. Use your stuff. We’re not going anywhere.”
The look on his face made it clear he didn’t believe her. “You said that about Serenity Springs.”
“You’re right, but this time…” This time what? She meant it. She promised. Words. Nothing but empty words that were far from enough to convince Austin she was telling the truth. Besides, if they were found, they would have to run again. And she couldn’t lie to her son.
She tugged on his hand and he shuffled forward until he was in front of her. “I want you to listen to me.” She waited for him to meet her eyes. “I understand this hasn’t been easy. It hasn’t been easy on either one of us, but no matter how much we both wanted to stay in Serenity Springs, we couldn’t.”
“Because that guy was looking for us.”
“Right.” Her stomach churned as she remembered how they’d almost been caught two years ago, when a private investigator had tracked them to the small town in upstate New York. How close they’d come to being sent back to their old life. Well, Austin would’ve been sent back. She most likely would have ended up in prison.
“It wasn’t easy for you to leave,” she said, “I get that. You had friends and had fun on the basketball team, but it wasn’t safe for us there anymore.”
“Why can’t he leave us alone?”
He. Austin’s father. She squeezed his hand. “I don’t know, baby.”
“It’s because of me, isn’t it?” he asked in a ragged whisper. “He wants me back.”
Feeling sick, she nodded. “But I’m not going to let him take you from me. I’m not going to let him—or anyone else—hurt you. I promise.”
He wrapped his thin arms around her neck and held on tight. “Okay,” he said into her neck, his words muffled.
Faith breathed in his clean scent and forgot her fears and all her mistakes. Just for a second. Long enough to imprint this moment on her brain, in her memory. The weight of her son’s head on her shoulder, the feel of his cool, damp hair against her cheek. The improbable, impossible sense that as long as she held on to him, everything would be all right.