by Krissy V
“We are in paradise Cassie! This is what I have wanted all week. To talk to you, feel you and just to be with you.” He whispers into my ear, “I can’t believe how lucky I am.” I can feel his breath on my neck and feel my body shivering and goose bumps are forming on my arms and neck.
“You’re cold again,” he says rubbing my arms. “Let me get you my jumper,” he starts to move off the lounger.
I put my hand on his thigh to keep him in place. “No, I’m not cold I was just enjoying what you were doing,” I say not removing my hand.
What am I doing? How can I even think about touching a guy, when the last guy who touched me tried to do something really bad to me. I have to stop thinking about it. I can’t blame Jordan for what David tried to do.
“Cassie, are you ok? I think I lost you there for a few minutes. You’ve just been staring ahead not listening to me and you’re not relaxed anymore. Where were you?” Jordan asks.
He obviously sensed a change in me because he isn’t touching me anymore. Did I move away from him? Did I say something to upset him? Why am I thinking about David when I’m here with Jordan?
“Erm ... I’m fine. Honest. I was just lost in thought. Can we move closer to the party? I feel like I need to dance and I could do with another drink.” In just that one moment I shut Jordan out. I start to get up from the lounger and I can’t look him in the eye.
“OK, if you’re sure that’s what you want to do. Let’s go and party!” he says with a big smile. He gets up and grabs my hand and we walk over to the pool where the party is in full flow.
We dance and laugh for the next hour or so and then Bonnie comes over and says that it’s time to go. I know she’s right, but I don’t want this night to be over. I don’t want to have to leave Jordan. I feel like I can’t breathe at the thought of leaving him, what is going on with me?
“I’ll be five minutes Bonnie. Do you want to go and see if Danni is ready to go? Then the three of us can leave together.” Bonnie walks off towards Danni, who is slow dancing with Tony.
I look up at Jordan and smile. “I have to go – thanks for a great night. I’m so glad you just had to talk to me.”
He laughs. “I wish you weren’t going, but I know you girls stick together.” He smiles. “What are you doing tomorrow? Can I meet you? I’d really like to get to know you more.” He’s blushing now. God, can this guy get any more beautiful?
“I’m not doing much tomorrow” I reply, I look around for a piece of paper and a pen, I have one in my bag. “Here’s my phone number, ring me tomorrow when you’ve had time to think about tonight and whether you still want to meet me. Sometimes things look different in the morning.” I smile weakly, I don’t want him to change his mind.
“Oh I already know I won’t be changing my mind. So, I’ll ring you at ten o’clock in the morning Cassie.” He’s moving closer to me as he’s saying it. He puts his arms around me and draws me closer to his body. I can smell him and he smells just gorgeous, he leans down and kisses me on my forehead. His lips are boiling hot and feel like they have left an imprint on me. I moan a little because I am feeling all sorts of things that I don’t understand.
“Until tomorrow Cassie. Sweet dreams and remember “it's just another day for you, you and me in paradise!” he sings in my ear.
I peel myself away and just look up at him with a large grin on my face; this guy has made me so happy by just being in his company for a couple of hours. I walk over to the two girls and link arms with both of them. I’m in the middle and I know that I’m smiling liking a lunatic. I look over to Jordan and he is still looking at me, his smile matches mine.
“Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!”
The three of us are singing and linking arms as we leave Jezza’s house.
“So Bonnie, come on tell us, did anything happen with you and Jezza? We need to know,” I say laughing and pulling Bonnie closer to me.
“Well .... We kind of talked and admitted that we fancied each other and then he kissed me.” She just drops that one into the conversation and runs ahead and then turns to face us. She has the biggest smile on her face.
“WHAT!” we both say at the same time. “Come on you need to tell us more. You can’t just leave it there” I say running towards Bonnie.
“Well, I’ll tell if you promise to tell afterwards. I want to know all about Jordan¸” she says laughing at me and making kissy lips.
“Ha ha ok you go first,” I say while we walk down the street to look for a taxi.
“Well” she says. “We were talking and dancing like we always do and then he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. I was so excited and nervous at the same time. Then he just whispered in my ear, “come on Bonnie you know you feel it too,” then he leaned down and took my chin in his hand, tilted my head up so that he could look in my eyes and then he kissed me very gently and very slowly.”
She’s smiling and looking all dreamy, “so then we said that we would meet up tomorrow and just hang out.” She has the biggest smile on her face. “Now it’s your turn Cassie, come on I want to hear all about Jordan.”
“OK, OK, OK” I say laughing at the two of them dancing around me.
“You know that Jordan is the guy I’ve been staring at in school and the one I’ve been day dreaming about. Right?” They both nod at me. “Well what I didn’t know is that he has been watching me too. He’d heard about the party at Jezza’s and he asked if he could go too. Jezza said he could and then he asked him if I would be there.” The two girls start squealing and jumping up and down, clapping their hands.
I carry on, “Jezza told him that I’m a great girl but that I didn’t need a guy in my life to mess me about. He’s always so protective of me.” I laugh thinking of Jezza acting like my dad.
Jordan told him that he wasn’t going to mess me around and that he just wanted to meet me and talk to me. I can’t believe he told me all of this, but he wanted me to know that he had asked Jezza about me, before I heard it from him.”
The girls are looking at me like I’ve just told them something epic. “What?” I asked and the two of them start giggling.
“Oh my god, he sounds so dreamy,” Danni says smiling at me.
“We didn’t really talk much, we just listened to the music and danced a little. He didn’t even kiss me.” The girls are now standing with their mouths open in front of me. “Well, he did kiss me, but it was on my forehead! I was so frustrated,” I say with disgust in my voice.
Bonnie starts laughing and then Danni joins her. “What?” I ask them getting annoyed with them.
“You were frustrated that he didn’t kiss you. That is so funny! You never go near anyone or have been interested in anyone for so long and then you get frustrated because he doesn’t kiss you,” Danni says, hugging me and laughing in my ear.
Bonnie then joins in the hug and says to me, “so what now? Are you going to see him again?”
“Yes, I am. He is going to ring me in the morning and then we’re going to make some plans. I’m nervous and excited all at once. What am I going to say to my Mum? She isn’t going to like me going out with a guy, she will be worried about me.” I say starting to come down off my cloud nine.
“Your Mum is going to be happy for you babe, she wants you to be happy. You have to understand that she will be worried that you’ll get your heart broken and how you will deal with that. Just make sure you talk to us and to your Mum if you feel you need to. OK?” Bonnie says while hugging me tight.
We all know what she is talking about and it was hard for her to say it, but I have been at my lowest and I never want to go there again. Ever!
We hail a taxi and the three of us slip inside. We are going to drop Danni home and then go back to mine. We sit in the back of the taxi and sing along to “Just Like Jesse James” by Cher, which is playing on the radio. The taxi driver turns it up, but I think that is more to cover our bad singing voices than because he was enjoying it.
After dro
pping Danni off and arranging to meet up on Sunday lunchtime, we arrive back at my house. We pay the taxi driver and walk up to the house. When we get in we go straight to my bedroom and get ready for bed. I’m tired now, but I’m also so excited about spending the day with Jordan. I wonder what we will do or where we will go?
When we get into bed, I ask Bonnie “are you happy you finally got a kiss off Jezza and was it everything you wanted it to be?”
She rolls over onto her side facing me with her hand holding her head up. “Cassie, it was the best kiss ever! I’ve wanted him for so long and always pretended that I just wanted to be friends, I never thought it would happen. I just hope that he can live up to my expectations.”
I smile at her. “I’m sure he’s wanted to be more than friends for a long time too, but he didn’t want to do anything about it because it might risk your friendship. I guess he decided he couldn’t wait any longer.” She smiles at me and I can see she is getting sleepy.
“Come on let’s try and sleep, we’ve both had a good night and have a busy day tomorrow, we need our beauty sleep ha ha.” I lean over and give her a hug and then roll on to my side facing away from her.
“Night Cassie” she says as she rolls to face away from me too.
I lie there for a long time thinking about Jordan and how I feel about letting a guy into my life after what David did to me. I’m not sure how I’ll feel when Jordan goes to kiss me properly – I can still feel David’s rough lips on mine and his tongue forcing its way into my mouth. I lay there and hope that what happened with David won’t affect my feelings for Jordan.
I can feel a lone tear slowly making its way down my face. All I want to do it to go through one day without something triggering a memory and then I want to wake up one day and believe that it never happened.
I don’t get much sleep, all I can see when I close my eyes are turquoise eyes and a beautiful smile. I am so excited that I will be seeing Jordan again tomorrow. I hope he rings me. I try really hard to sleep and eventually, with a smile on my face, I manage it.
“With Every Beat of My Heart”
When I wake up in the morning, Bonnie tells me that I was talking in my sleep. She’s laughing when she tells me that I have been moaning and saying, "Jordan mmm".
"Ha ha very funny" I say back to her, laughing.
"Seriously you were. I had to throw a pillow at you to get you to shut up," Bonnie says laughing.
"That's why I woke up cuddling an extra pillow then ha ha." I pick the pillow up and throw it at Bonnie. "Come on let’s get some breakfast," I say to shut her up.
When we are having have breakfast, Mum sits with us and we tell her all about how great the party was. Halfway through the conversation the house phone rings. I jump out of my chair and run to answer it. "Hello!" I'm panting, I'm so out of breath.
"Hi Cassie, did you sleep well?" I hear Jordan speaking from the other end of the phone. All I can think is ‘yay he rang. He rang.’
"I did, eventually. I kept thinking about all the fun we had, did you?" I ask.
"I went to sleep thinking about you and I had the best sleep in a long time.” He is quiet for a minute to allow me to take in what he just said. “So, do you want to spend the day with me today?" He asks and I can hear the nervousness in his voice.
"Em let me think about that for a minute." I laugh. "Yes, yes I do.”
"That's great,” he says, and I am sure I can hear him smiling down the phone.
“What do you want to do?" I ask him, hesitantly.
“It's a surprise! I want to spoil you today and show you what I like about our town!" He says. "Can you be ready to meet me in an hour?"
"Yes I can, where will I meet you? Do I need to bring anything with me?" I can feel myself getting excited.
"Meet me at Hunter’s in town at eleven o’clock. You know where that is don’t you? You don't need to bring anything with you, just your beautiful smile. I'm hoping to see it all day long!" He says with lots of sincerity.
"Yeah I know Hunter’s. Ok I'll try my best," I say laughing. "I'll see you in a bit."
"See you soon, Cassie," he says laughing when he hangs up.
I hug the phone to my chest and stand there smiling, it takes me ages to replace the handset onto the base. I take a deep breath. I have a huge grin on my face. I know that Bonnie and Mum were listening to every word I said and that I'll have to explain myself to Mum. I don't know how she's going to take it. She's been very protective of me since the beach party.
I turn around and see the two of them shuffling back to their seats. "I saw you, there’s no need to hide," I say laughing and go back into the kitchen. They are both sitting down staring at me.
"Do either of you want a cup of coffee?" I say innocently, trying to draw out the inevitable.
They are both looking at me as if I am mad!
"Sit down Cassie and tell me about that party again, you seem to have missed out some things earlier," my Mum says laughing.
"Ok! Well we had a great time, everyone was there. The music was great, the pool was warm and we had lots of fun." I'm smiling at this point, I just can't hide it.
"And?" Mum asks.
"Well I met this guy, Jordan. He just rang and asked did I want to spend the day with him and I said yes, that's all!" I say all of this really quickly because I’m nervous she won’t let me go.
"Mum he's really nice, he’s thoughtful and I really like him," I say because she is staring at me.
Bonnie says "Mrs Thomas, he seems really nice, he's really good looking as well," she laughs. "I'm still going to ask around at school and see what people know about him. Jezza let him into the football team, so he’s keeping an eye on him. Don't worry, I have Cassie's back," she's smiling at Mum because she knows she just said the right thing.
"Ok, that makes me feel a little better Bonnie, thanks" she says looking at me.
"Mum I really want to go and meet Jordan and see what today brings. It might not work out, but I want this chance. He's the first guy I've been interested in for a long time, you know that. Please can I go?" I'm pleading with her now.
“Of course you can go, I’m not going to stop you Cassie. I know you’ve had your fair share of problems to deal with, but you’re nearly seventeen and you need to start living your life again! Go and enjoy yourself just be careful that’s all,” Mum says with tears welling in her eyes.
It’s in that moment that I realise how tough it’s been for her and Dad. I think about what they must have gone through this last year, watching me retreat into myself and shut myself off from my teenage years.
I move closer to her and give her a big hug as I say, “I love you Mum and I’m sorry.” I have tears streaming down my face.
I look at Bonnie and she’s crying too. I start laughing. “What are we all like? We look like we’re going to a funeral instead of the two of us having hot dates today.” I start laughing.
Bonnie laughs too and Mum says, “so Bonnie, you’ve a hot date too do you? Who’s that with?”
Bonnie says, “it’s with Jezza. I’ve liked him for a while and it seems he feels the same way too,” she’s blushing now.
Mum reaches over her and gives her a big hug too. “Now you both need to hurry up and get ready for these hot dates.” We all fall about the place laughing.
Once we are dressed we walk into town together then go our separate ways, promising to ring each other tonight.
“Here and Now”
I’m nervous walking down to Hunter’s to meet Jordan. I’ve not really been on a date before, not one that I was this excited about. I don’t really know him and it will be the first time I’ve been in a stranger’s company since David. I don’t know how I feel about that. How am I going to react to Jordan if he tries to touch me?
I can see him leaning up against the wall waiting for me, he’s looking around searching for me. He eventually looks in my direction and I’m rewarded with the biggest and most beautiful smile. It is a smile all the way f
rom his heart. I can feel my heart speeding up as he walks towards me.
“Hey Cassie, I am so glad you agreed to meet me. I hope we can get to know each other better and I’m looking forward to seeing your beautiful smile all day.” He’s still smiling and I can see he has a dimple on his left cheek. I didn’t notice that last night in the dark.
I feel like I’ve died and gone to heaven. I smile at him too and say “well it’s working already.” I can feel myself blushing. “So tell me where are we going and what are we doing?” I walk up to him and link his arm.
He looks at me and lifts my chin up a little and kisses me on the forehead. “Follow me, we’re going to have fun today.”
We have a lot of fun; he takes me bowling where I whoop his arse, but secretly I think he let me win! Then he takes me to the cliff overlooking Fistral Beach where he unpacks the rucksack he’s been carrying all day. He wouldn’t tell me what was in it, but now I can see for myself. There’s a picnic blanket and a small picnic. I don’t know what to say I’m stunned.
I watch him unpack everything and he looks at me smiling. “Are you going to stand there all afternoon or are you going to park your gorgeous arse down here next to mine?”
I smile and walk towards the rug and sit down. “Did you pack all of this yourself?”.
“I’d love to say that I did, but I told my Mum that I had a date with a beautiful and special girl and asked her to make it up for me,” he says, blushing a little bit.
“It looks amazing. Thank you and make sure you thank your Mum for me. I’ve had a great day so far,” I say looking out at the sea. I decide I want to know more about him. “So, Jordan I don’t know much about you. I know you’re at my school and you’re in lower sixth year, but that’s about all,” I say lying down to look at the clouds rolling by.
“Well, em ... that’s about the most of it really. I have a younger brother. I like football and I’m going to play for the school team.” He’s laid down as well, looking at the clouds. I get the impression there’s more to Jordan than what he’s telling me, but we all have our secrets and I’m happy to keep mine to myself for a bit longer and he’s probably the same.