My One Regret

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My One Regret Page 23

by Krissy V


  "Morning Mr. Stanley, how are you today?" I ask. He looks tired today; I can see it in his eyes.

  "I’m ok, a bit tired and getting worn down with the idea that I might have to close up. What would you like to drink?.”

  “I'm going to have one of your special hot chocolates please!" Jordan and Joyce place their orders, when they have finished I ask Mr. Stanley “Is there any chance we can have a look at the other rooms that you have here first, please? I'm interested in helping you sell this place. I would hate it to be closed down, it holds a lot of good memories for me." I smile at him and he returns my smile. I think that's the first genuine smile I've seen on his face for a very long time.

  "Of course you can, let me put up a closed sign on the door for a few minutes. Now, I've not used all of these rooms so some are empty, but come on follow me." We all stand up, Joyce and Jordan look at each other before following me out the back of Pebbles..

  We go through the door which leads to the toilets, I always knew there were other doors out here, but I never really thought about them. Through one of them we come to a few more rooms leading off a corridor. He uses one of them as a stock room and another as a small office. Then there are two other rooms, which are empty, and it's such a shame because they are huge rooms. My mind just keeps rolling my ideas around in my head and I can feel I'm getting even more excited now that I have seen them. I know I am smiling widely.

  After he has shown us out the back, we walk back into the cafe and Mr. Stanley flicks the sign back to ‘Open’. He busies himself with making our drinks and it’s only after he has brought the drinks over to us that Jordan turns to me and asks "Ok Cassie I'm very curious. Will you just tell us what you have going on in your mind?" I think he might have guessed because he has a smile on his face.

  ”OK guys, bear with me. Let me just speak and try and get this out right, it's a bit jumbled in my mind, but I know what I want to say.” They both nod and take a sip of their drinks.

  "So, I've been wallowing in my own self-pity for too long and I need to move on and do something constructive. Now, I’ve quite a bit of money coming to me from America and I've been thinking about what I can do with it. As you know I donated £200,000 to your charity a few months ago," I say.

  "Oh my god, that was from you," Joyce says. I forgot she didn't know.

  "Yes, I'll explain how that happened another time, but I want to work for you and become a counsellor. I have personal experience and can use that to relate to other peoples cases."

  "That would be amazing" Joyce says. Jordan just nods his head and smiles, he's heard me say this much before.

  "Anyway, I love Newquay and, if I'm honest, I don't want to move away from here again. I missed this place when I was away and nowhere else ever came close." I'm looking at Jordan because I know he can't live here indefinitely because of his charity in London. I hope it doesn’t mean our time will have to come to an end.

  "How would you feel about opening an office here in Newquay? I know that, with it being a tourist town, there's a lot of people coming and going and I'm sure there's a lot of things going on that aren't nice. I'm sure we could help a lot of people, not just from Newquay, but around and about." I look from Jordan to Joyce and back again.

  "That would be a great idea Cassie, it would be great to help the local community," Joyce says. I notice Jordan isn't saying anything; I need him to want to do this as much as I do.

  "Jordan? What do you think?" I look at him and reach over and take his hand.

  "I think you are amazing Cassie, that's what I think. In the middle of your crisis you think of other people and how you can help them. I think it would be great to open an office here, but it would have to be in the perfect location though," he says. I don’t say anything for a minute and then I see the light come on behind his eyes, he's caught up with my line of thinking. "Ah I see," he says.

  "Yes, what about if I buy Pebbles? I've loved this place for years and it holds all my memories of us, Jordan. We could still run the cafe, I'd hate for that to go. Then we can turn the rooms out the back into counselling rooms and offices, maybe even a community centre type place for people to come and get help about sexual diseases and everything else that goes hand in hand with a tourist town like this." I'm getting really excited as I say it all out loud. Everything starts clicking into place.

  "Jordan you are an amazing cook, you can come up with some ideas for the cafe, we could even make it a bistro at night or something to make this fabulous landmark a bigger part of the community. What do you think?" I hold my breath while I wait for them to reply.

  "I think it's a fabulous idea Cassie, I can't believe you've only thought of it today, it seems like something you've been planning for a while," Joyce says.

  "No, I was just thinking while we were talking this morning, it hit me and then the idea just ran away with itself, it was like a runaway train building up momentum in my head." I'm still waiting for Jordan to speak, he's being very quiet. Maybe I should have spoken to him on our own before I mentioned it in front of Joyce.

  "Jordan, I know I'm kind of jumping the gun here, but I’m excited and just wanted to see what you think. Don't be angry with me for not waiting and talking to you about it first, please."

  "I'm not angry with you Cassie, I just think that what you're suggesting is unbelievable and I can see how excited you are. My mind is thinking of what we could do to this place and how we could get this to work. I love it as much as I love you." He leans across the table and kisses me passionately. I hear someone clearing their throat, it's Joyce.

  "Ok lovebirds, calm down," she laughs. "I love it Cassie, but are you sure about this cafe, it's very tired looking and looks like it should be knocked down.”

  “No way!" Jordan and I shout at the same time.

  She laughs, "Ok, ok just asking."

  "Sorry Joyce, this places means a lot to Jordan and I, we could never knock it down. I'm going to ask for another drink and then see if Mr. Stanley will join us," I say standing up.

  "Hi Mr. Stanley, can we have another round of these gorgeous drinks please. We’d love to talk to you about something really important, so why don’t you make one for yourself, then come sit down and talk to us," I say smiling at him. He smiles back and goes off to make the drinks.

  We chat through some more ideas until Mr. Stanley comes and sits down with our drinks.

  "So, what do you want to discuss with me Cassie?" He smiles.

  "I love this place, it holds a lot of memories and I don't want to see it knocked down. We were thinking that we could buy it off you and keep it as a cafe and then maybe a bistro at night. The real reason we want to buy it though is because we want to turn the back rooms into a community centre type place for sexually abused victims. We want to offer counselling them and help them get back into society without being scared of their own shadow. Maybe they can work here, I don't know, we have to work on the ins and outs."

  I look at him and he's quiet for a while, then I notice some tears in his eyes. He leans over and takes my hand. "Cassie, it is amazing that you would take this cafe and keep it as a cafe/bistro, but the fact that you want to turn it into a place where people can get together and be helped through such awful times of their lives, means so much to me. I know what happened to you all those years ago and what you have recently been through, I think it takes a very brave person to be able to see beyond the hurt and come out the other side such a giving person.”

  He takes a few deep breaths and then I see the tears welling up in his eyes. “My daughter left Newquay and went to London when she was a teenager, we were annoyed because she didn't keep in touch. Then one day we got a phone call from a police officer to tell us she was in hospital. My wife Belinda and I drove straight to London. When we got there we couldn't believe our daughter had been raped. She was in a terrible way; her attacker had raped her then left her for dead. She took a long time to recover physically, but she never recovered emotionally. There was no one to he
lp her, she wouldn't let us help and to be honest we didn't know how. She was institutionalised for many years in Truro, Belinda went every weekend to see her. One day about ten years later we got a call to say she had died, she had hidden some of her tablets and then took them all at once, she committed suicide."

  He stops to rubs his eyes then he continues "She never got over her experience Cassie, you have great support, but then you are a fighter, you always have been. Belinda never got over Sarah's death and she died six months after Sarah. I've thrown myself into this place ever since, but I can't keep going. I'm not getting any younger. I can't think of a more appropriate use for this place." He takes my hand and kisses it.

  I really don't know what to say; he has totally blown me away with his story. I have never heard anyone mention it, I must ask Mum and see if she knows about Belinda and Sarah, it is so tragic. When I look over at Jordan and Joyce, I don't think they have heard it before either.

  "Mr. Stanley, thank you for sharing your life story with us. I never knew any of this and you're so brave to tell us now. I feel like you've been a part of my life with Pebbles for as long as I can remember, as I said before, I have many good memories here and I hope to have many more. I'd love to buy Pebbles, but I'd love you to stay a part of it." I can feel my own tears welling up.

  Jordan gets up from the table and walks over to Mr. Stanley. "We want to do a deal for Pebbles, but then we want to offer you a job." Jordan obviously knew where I was heading with the conversation, I look at him with such admiration in my eyes. "Will you come for dinner tomorrow night at Cassie's? I'd love to cook for you and make some plans," he says shaking Mr. Stanley's hand.

  Mr. Stanley smiles up at him "I'd love to. You've done amazing things with your charity. I've followed you for years. I wish there had been somewhere that would have been able to help my Sarah, but if you can use Pebbles to help others, then it would be the best sale ever." He shakes Jordan's hand and pulls him in for a hug.

  We all start talking at once, Joyce has been quiet for a while. "Joyce are you ok?" I ask.

  "I'm overwhelmed by your generosity, Cassie. You are so selfless and what you want to give to others is just unbelievable," she says.

  "Joyce, you have been the one who has selflessly helped me, you have given up your time every day to come and help me. I know you were retired before that, but if you're interested I'd love you to be an integral part of this project. I really value your opinion on things. I will never be able to thank you enough for what you have done for me, nothing I could do would ever come close to expressing my thanks to you. Please help us." I know I'm pleading, but I need her to make this work.

  She looks at me with tears in her eyes. "Cassie I've loved helping you because you are an amazing person. I would be delighted to help you with this project," she starts sobbing.

  "Joyce what's the matter?" I ask her taking her hand.

  "I don't have any children of my own, but you have included me in your plans and made me feel like I'm part of your family. That is just so amazing."

  "As far as I'm concerned you are family. I will never forget what you've done for me," I say with tears in my eyes too.

  "Ok, this is all getting too emotional. We need to go and make some plans," Jordan says.

  "Yeah you're right Jordan," I say trying to pull myself together. "Mr. Stanley, we have to go now, but will you come to our house tomorrow say about seven o’clock?” I ask.

  He smiles at me and says, "Cassie I'd be delighted too". We all stand up and shake hands, but Mr. Stanley takes me into a hug. "See you tomorrow at seven o’clock.”

  We say goodbye and when we walk out Jordan takes my hand and Joyce links my arm exactly as we were on the way down, except now we are all deep in thought.

  When we get back home we thrash out a few ideas, then Joyce says she has to go. After we've said goodbye, we go and sit on the veranda, it's my most favourite place. "Cassie we need to talk about this. It’s amazing that you want to do this, but there is so much work involved, are you sure you want to do this? Are you ready to commit to this? I’ve done this before and it’s hard work, it’s emotional work, but it is very rewarding. Are you sure you won’t miss your life in New York?" He looks sad.

  "Jordan, I have only ever been as certain as I am right now about one other thing in my life and that is how much I love you. I had a great life in New York, I would never say any different, but my life never felt complete like it does now." I kiss him passionately. "You are my future, you are my forever and I want to give back a part of what you have given me.”

  He pulls me onto his lap and wraps his arms around me. "I love you Cassie, more than I can explain, I always have done but are you really sure about this?"

  "I’m so excited about this Jordan. I know that this is what I'm meant to do. What happened to me was the most horrific thing. Before you came along I thought he was going to kill me. I can share with others what happened to me, I can relate to them and what they’ve been through. I wouldn't be anything without you though, or Joyce for that matter. I want to save someone like you two saved me." I kiss him.

  He leans into me and rests his head on mine. "I love you so much Cassie."

  He then scoops me up into his arms and stands up. I throw my arms around his neck and snuggle in tight. He laughs at me, and then carries me to the stairs, takes a breath and then carries me up them. When he gets to the top he walks into our bedroom and he gently puts me down on the bed.

  He stands over me, looking at me, not saying a word. He slowly removes my clothes, all the time he is watching me intently. He takes his clothes off and I get to see him naked for the first time in years. He is magnificent, gorgeous and I hold my breath because I can't believe he is mine. His tattoos are gorgeous and I can’t wait to learn about each and every one of them.

  He crawls up the bed until he is leaning over me, he leans down and kisses me like his life depends on it. Neither of us speak as he starts moving over my body, kissing every spare inch. He kisses me between my legs and I move my hips up closer to his mouth. After he has kissed me down my legs to my ankles he works his way back up. Then when he reaches my face he kisses me again. While he is kissing me he slips a finger inside me, I moan into his mouth. He slides it out and then inserts two. I groan really loud, he slides them out and then inserts three. It's a tight fit but I take his fingers, I'm waiting for something else. He slowly withdraws his fingers and continues kissing me. I moan because I miss his fingers. He moves above me, pulls my legs open wider and slowly inches himself inside me.

  I groan with pleasure at every inch he gives me. We still haven't said anything as we continue kissing. He slowly enters me until he is buried deep inside, only then does he starts to pull out slowly. I've had enough, I don't want him to pull out so I reach out, grab his arse and push him back in. He groans in my mouth and tries to pull out, I let him for maybe an inch then I dig my nails in and push him in fully.

  He realises I don't want him to pull out, "Babe I need to move, I have years of love to give you." He starts to pull out again. I let him this time because I know it'll be worth my while. He starts pumping in and out and it feels wonderful. I curl my legs up so my ankles are pushing into his arse.

  I can't hold on, I've wanted this for years, even when I was with other guys I always thought about Jordan. I start moaning because it feels so good; it feels so natural.

  "I'm sorry Cassie, I can't hold on I need to cum. It feels so good," he has tears in his eyes. He starts to pump faster and I keep pulling him back in. I need every inch of him; I've missed him so much. We fit so well together; we are so good together. I let go of his arse, I need him to finish, to show me how much he loves me.

  "Jordan, give me every inch of you, give it to me hard and deep. I need you," I whisper as I lift my hips to meet him.

  That is his undoing, he starts pumping in and out like a mad man. I come undone and scream out his name, when I do he stills and I can feel him throbbing inside me. He falls on
top of me, sweating, breathing heavy. We are both breathing heavy, then he leans up and looks at me, "Welcome home baby" and kisses me hard.

  He pulls out of me after a while and rolls over into his back. "I missed you so much when you were away Cassie, I thought you were going to come back when I did. When I heard you got married I went out and got drunk every night for a month. I thought that was it for us, but I couldn't move on, no one ever came close for me. I kept my tabs on you, I couldn't let you go completely. I can't believe you are here with me, staying with me. I love you so much Cassie, it hurts when you're not with me."

  "Jordan it was the hardest thing I ever had to do - leaving you. I always believed we would go home and be together after a few months. Then those months became years and I thought I'd lost you forever. I see now that I never lost you, I just needed to find you again." I roll over to face him and snuggle into him and I can feel myself falling asleep.

  When we wake up it's early evening. I'm a little embarrassed that we made love during the day, but the feeling I felt when Jordan gave himself to me makes me smile.

  "What are you smiling at?" Jordan says to me. "Come over here and kiss me instead," he says pulling me in tight to his body.

  "I've never made love during the day before, it's so naughty." I laugh because I feel like a teenager.

  "We can do that as often as you want Cassie, I really enjoyed it. Nothing has ever felt like that, it was like our two souls were entangling."

  "Come on lover boy, we need to get up and make some plans. Shall I ask Bonnie and Jezza to come over tonight? We can tell them our plans." I ask.

  "Yeah that's a great idea, they might have some ideas too," Jordan says as he gets out of the bed. I forgot he was naked and I gasp as I see him in all his glory. He truly is gorgeous inside and out. His tattoos are really beautiful, they were a shock at first but they really suit him, they have a story attached to them. It was his way of trying to erase me from his mind. While he is getting ready I get out of bed too, I get dressed and go downstairs to ring Bonnie.

 

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