I'd had plenty of time to reflect while in hospital, in fact I'd had ten days worth of reflection but being back here among my home comforts brought back the happy memories of Blake. We'd tried to alternate where we ended up each evening we spent together, and although Ethan was aware of our casual relationship, we didn't want to rub salt into the wounds and would only stay at mine if Ethan were out for the night on club business or at Ambers.
I hadn't heard from Blake since I was rude to him at the hospital. At first I thought he may try to make contact hoping that I may have calmed down over time but after a couple of days Connor mentioned that he'd put in a transfer request and had moved to Norfolk. I was initially shocked that Blake had gone without saying goodbye but after the way I'd spoken to him I couldn't blame him. Deep down I'd hoped that there was more to our relationship than just sex but I'd obviously been wrong otherwise he would've fought for me.
My stomach tightened and the tension got worse as I contemplated all the what ifs, I didn't have time to be sentimental though, I needed to concentrate on getting better and planning what I was now going to do with my life. I needed a focus, I felt that I needed to give back to the community somehow but at this stage didn't know in what capacity.
Over the next couple of days, I ignored the pleas from Ethan, Connor and Pearl to get up and go out to get some fresh air. I was happy festering in my bedroom as it gave me time to think and reflect on the situation further, I would only go out when I was feeling ready to face the world. I had been contemplating going out but I had a desire to get dressed up and go out on the pull. I didn't want to be in a relationship or even have a one night stand, I just wanted to cover my scar and be desired again by a member of the opposite sex, I didn't think that was too much to ask for.
"Can I buy you a drink?"
I glanced up from the table and tried to focus on the man leaning on the wall in front of me. From what I could make out in my intoxicated state, he was of an average height and looked to have sandy coloured hair under his backwards baseball cap. I sniggered to myself as I lifted the glass to my lips and downed the remaining liquid before pushing the empty glass across the table in the man's direction.
He smiled and gave a cheeky wink, "I'm Chad and you are?"
"Wasted!" I giggled leaning back in my chair.
Chad collected my glass from the table and smiled before he headed towards the bar. I didn't really want another drink as I knew I'd already passed my limit but I was more interested in male company and what Chad had to offer. I leaned my head back resting it on the top of the sofa and closed my eyes to try and stop the room from spinning but this action only made it worse. I slowly opened my eyes trying to focus on something when I noticed someone standing directly in my eye line. I made my way from his groin area and up his body until I was looking directly at his face to see Daryl's unimpressed expression.
I smiled brightly, "Good evening." I stated trying my best not to slur my words.
Daryl glanced around the bar and then focused his attention back on me, "Why are you in a bar on your own Amy?"
I sniggered, "Why does anyone come to a bar by themselves Daryl?" I leaned forward, "To get laid!" I whispered answering my own question. I noticed Daryl's jaw tense with possible frustration, he removed his mobile from his jean pocket and hastily typed a message. His actions confused me but I watched through blurred vision as I tried my best to concentrate.
"I saw her first mate!" I turned my head towards Chad and smiled as he placed my drink on the table directly in front of me. "Now I'd appreciate it if you'd give us some alone time." Chad stated firmly glaring at Daryl. I quickly removed the glass from the table knowing full well that things were about to turn ugly but I didn't want to spill a drop of my drink. Chad was either brave or very stupid, I hadn't quite made up my mind yet but I knew Chad would come out of this situation worse off.
"Right, while you two have a pissing contest I'm gonna call a taxi." I downed my drink in one and stood ready to leave.
"Sit your fucking arse down, I'm not done with you yet!" Daryl bellowed. I didn't like his tone but I knew he was annoyed with me so I immediately did as I was told.
"Don't fucking talk to her like that, who do you think you are." Chad spat pointing his finger in Daryl's direction, before Daryl casually stepped forwards and wrapped his hand around Chad's finger clenching his fist as he twisted.
The cracking sound and Chad's screams quickly filled the room as he dropped to his knee's trying to free himself from Daryl's vice like grip. "Now I suggest you take your sorry arse home before I end up doing some real damage, do you understand?" Daryl said calmly as he gave one last final squeeze before letting go of Chad's finger. He squealed before grabbing it with his free hand to check for any damage. Chad gave me a quick glare as he got up off the floor and staggered in the direction of the exit still holding his finger.
Justice leaned on the back of the chair opposite me as if assessing the situation but I was far to intoxicated to care. I folded my arms across my chest, "What?" I asked narrowing my eyes.
"Does Diesel know where you are?"
I squinted trying to bring him into focus as my head spun, "Why would Diesel know where I am?" I asked as I flapped my arms around.
"I'm taking you home." Daryl made his way around the table and grabbed under my arm before yanking me to my feet.
"You're hurting me Daryl." I screamed trying to break free from his hold.
He rolled his eyes, "Well stop fucking struggling!" I glanced around the bar to see a few punters look at the spectacle but the majority were going about their business oblivious to the goings on. I allowed Daryl to manhandle me from the building and rolled my eyes when I saw Mark standing by the van used by the club.
"You called the prospect to take me home." I sniggered at the fact that Daryl was treating me like a child. Although intoxicated I was twenty-two years old and didn't need to be babysat.
"No, Mark's riding my bike and I'm taking you home." Daryl threw his keys and I watched as Mark caught them with ease.
"Woooo!" I punched the air and screamed at the sense of his achievement as if he'd just caught a ball at a cricket match.
Mark rolled his eyes and stepped forward patting Daryl on the shoulder, "Yeah...good luck with that mate." He sniggered to himself as he walked towards Daryl's motorcycle.
I tried once more to pull away from his hold but he dug his fingers into my skin mindful of where my scar was. It was easier to allow him to do this rather than fight, I knew that if he'd contacted Mark so easily he'd obviously contacted either Ethan or Mitch as well, and that I would have to face the fall out when I arrived home. I groaned at the thought but this only confirmed that my decision to find my own flat was the right thing to do.
Daryl opened the door to the van, "Get in." He said it with such authority that I didn't argue. I used what strength I had left in my body to push myself up into the cab and instinctively placed my hand on my tummy when I felt a slight pulling sensation.
"You've over fucking done it, this isn't like you Amy." Daryl berated as he sat in the driver's seat.
I scoffed at his comment and folded my arms protectively, "Can you save the lecture and just take me home."
"Save the lecture! You're still on medication and you've been drinking, don't you think that's a little irresponsible?" he asked turning his whole body towards me.
I liked Daryl he told it how it was and had only ever treated me with respect over the years. I assessed his features, he was a good looking bloke with a beard and long hair that he pulled back into a ponytail, not my thing but I'd have fun shaving him. I sniggered at the thought which earnt me a strange look from Daryl as he continued to assess me. He saw the best in people but he didn't suffer fools gladly and shared many of Mitchell's characteristics, which is probably why I liked him.
"I've had a rough couple of weeks, aren't I allowed to let my hair down?" I asked although I didn't care for his response.
Daryl let out
a long sigh and placed his hand on my forearm, "I know babe but getting drunk isn't the answer."
I nodded my head slowly, I knew drinking wasn't the answer but it helped me forget. Apart from Connor and Ethan, no one else was aware of the baby I'd lost and the fact that I couldn't have any more children. They had been true to their word and hadn't shared the information which I was grateful for but this is why people from the outside looking in couldn't comprehend why I was still upset regarding the incident at the club.
"I know, please just take me home." I leaned my head against the window and sighed as the cold glass soothed my flushed face. Daryl started the engine and slowly pulled away from the car park, the rumble of his Harley was heard as Mark followed us home.
"Amy, you're home babe." I opened one eye slowly and glanced around the cab trying to remember where I was until I saw Daryl wearing a huge grin. Before I had time to respond, the van door was pulled open abruptly and I felt a person lean over my body to unfasten my seat belt. In my confused state I managed to look over at Daryl to see him roll his eyes before I was pulled from the van.
"Get off me!" I shouted swatting Ethan's arms, "I'm more than capable of walking." Ethan ignored my cries and carried me towards the flat, I could faintly hear Daryl's chuckles coming from the van and quickly realised that the joke was on me. I allowed my body to go limp knowing that it would make it harder for Ethan to carry me although it didn't seem to make any difference in his pursuit to get me inside.
He carried me up the stairs and into the flat, walking straight through the living room and into my bedroom to place me directly onto my bed. I lay still and kept my eyes closed to try and fool him into thinking I was asleep, "That won't work on me Amy. We can either talk now or in the morning but we will be having a discussion about your behaviour."
I groaned at his response and rolled onto my side. "Let's talk tomorrow," I said quietly. I lay still and could hear him shuffle from one foot to the other before he stomped from the room closing the door behind him.
I left enough time for him to leave the hallway before I stood from the bed and gave a stretch mindful of my scar. I needed some water but I wasn't prepared to go into the kitchen to listen to Ethan reprimand me. I removed my handbag and slowly unfastened my dress slipping it from my shoulders, and pulled back the duvet so I could get into bed comfortably. Grabbing my mobile from my handbag I quickly set my alarm, if Ethan wanted to talk tomorrow I'd make sure I was up and out early so I didn't have to listen to him telling me off. I wasn't ready to discuss things, he'd have to wait. As I closed my eyes the room spun but I yawned because I was so tired and sleep quickly took me.
I woke suddenly hearing the alarm from my phone and quickly grabbed it, turning off the sound not wanting to wake Ethan. As I sat upright, my head thumped and I brought my hand up to smooth my forehead. I needed to ease the drinking before I ended up doing something I regretted but I liked the numbing sensation it also gave me.
I swung my legs from the bed and placed them on the cold laminate floor that sent a shiver down my spine and instinctively scrunched my toes. The heating hadn't come on yet and there was a chill in the air so I reached for my dressing gown and draped it around my shoulders as I stood. I tiptoed quietly from my bedroom and down the hallway to the bathroom, Ethan's bedroom was furthest away so he shouldn't hear the shower running but I tried my best to keep the noise to the minimum through fear of waking him.
Once showered, I turned the taps off and stepped from the cubical to quickly cover my body with a fluffy towel. I didn't like to see my scar as it reminded me of what could have been which is one of the reasons I had removed the mirrors from the rest of the flat. Tiptoeing to the door, I pulled down the brass handle and opened it quietly to peer into the hallway. There wasn't a sound apart from the thumping of my heart as I opened the door further and leapt across the hallway and into the safety of my bedroom. I scurried around my room as I got dressed and threw my make-up, hairbrush and a change of clothes into a bag before I left my room and the flat.
I breathed a sigh of relief when I made it to the confines of my car because if Ethan came out now I could simply drive away and pretend I hadn't seen him. I sniggered to myself acting like a child running away from her parents but that's how he made me feel sometimes, he was so over protective and this was starting to become unbearable with the constant questioning and asking if I was okay. I placed the keys into the ignition and jumped when a hand slammed loudly on the windscreen. I sat back breathing heavily as I quickly took in my surroundings to see Connor standing by the side of my car. What the fuck was he doing here?
I placed my hand on my chest trying to control my breathing from my fright before opening the window. Connor moved and rested his arms on the open window bringing his head down close to mine. Connor could be hard to read sometimes but I knew by his expression that he'd obviously been informed about my antics last night.
"Before you give me a lecture Connor, please take into consideration what I've been through. I wanted to get drunk and just enjoy myself after weeks of heartache. Is that really so bad?" I asked.
Connor was more sensitive than Ethan, that didn't mean he was a push over but he would listen to me before making judgement. His kindness had been considered as weakness over the years but he was more than able to look after himself and the people he loved.
"You don't need to tell me about heartache babe but you do need to use a little more self control. You'll end up getting hurt again and I won't be able to hold back this time no matter what you say." I nodded my head knowing that Connor and Ethan had struggled with keeping my ordeal a secret from the rest of the club but I knew that the people involved would finally get their retribution regardless of the club knowing the full extent of my injuries.
"So why are you sneaking around this early?" he asked with a grin.
I sniggered, "I could ask you the same!"
"Okay smart arse, I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
"I'm fine, I just didn't want a lecture from Ethan so I've decided to go to the refuge early this morning."
"I'm not gonna give you a lecture Ames, I just want you to be safe."
"I know."
Connor moved from the window and stepped back, "Be good, and if you need to let your hair down again then give me a call." I smiled before I turned the key in the ignition to start the engine and pulled away into the light morning traffic. It wasn't a long drive to the refuge but even so it would give me the time needed to clear my head as the women there had enough on their minds, without me adding to their troubles.
I drove the thirty minute journey to the refuge and pulled up outside relieved that the ride over here hadn't been too bad. I glanced out of the window and up at the sky noticing the thick black clouds that were forming, it was going to be another bloody awful day. I rummaged around on the back seat and tugged on the material once I found my coat, I wasn't getting caught short in the rain although I currently looked like I'd been dragged through a hedge by the state of my hair. I sniggered to myself thinking about the palaver I had this morning of trying to get out of the flat without Ethan waking up. I shook my head gently and smiled as I grabbed for my handbag and the carrier bag, containing my change of clothes and make up from the passenger seat and stepped from my car to make my way towards the building.
As I neared the entrance I flashed my badge to Henry, the security guard at the refuge and he smiled through the glass entrance as he opened the first door.
"Good morning," I said cheerfully as I walked into the pod waiting for the doors to close behind me before he opened the second set of doors.
"Morning Amy, and how are you this morning?" he asked questioningly.
I hadn't put on any make-up this morning and my hair was scragged back in a messy bun as I was in a hurry, so I knew immediately what that look was for as I usually took pride in my appearance. I sniggered and held up the carrier bag, "Don't worry Henry, I'll be looking like my normal self in ten minutes." I ga
ve him a playful wink as I made my way towards the bathroom on the first floor.
I looked at myself in the reflection and pulled my skin around as I examined the dark circles under my eyes. I groaned at the sight and knew that I needed to have some early nights otherwise they'd only get worse. Taking out my make up bag I felt relieved that I could cover the blemishes. I always liked to look my best, not because I was vain, far from but I didn't want the women here to ask questions and worry about my problems as they had enough of their own to think about.
Ten minutes later, I was looking radiant and had changed into my comfortable clothes to go about my business. Today I'd be working in the nursery for a couple of hours to help with the children while their mothers either went to work or just had a break from all the strains and stresses of being a mother.
I enjoyed working with the young children and there were certainly some characters here of all ages. My favourite was a little boy called Nathan, he was six but tiny for his age and he'd taken an instant liking to me. He was a little sweetie and he made me laugh with his outlook on life as he was very black and white, and that's why I enjoyed working with the children as they were less complicated than adults were.
"Amy!" Nathan shouted excitedly as I walked through the doors to the nursery.
"Good morning Nathan, how are you this morning?" I asked as he came bounding over to give me a hug.
"Good," he said with a nod of the head as he wrapped his tiny arms around me. I held him close and let him cuddle me which was our ritual every morning that I came here before we got on and played with some of the toys.
"I've been told this morning that I can take two of you to the park." Nathan's face lit up knowing full well that I'd take him. "So I've decided that I'm going to take Jacob and...Nathan!"
The two boys ran over to me for a hug and I held them close savouring the moment. They weren't allowed out often and the facilities here weren't that great but there was a park not too far from here, and certain members of staff were allowed to take the children out for small periods of time with the consent of their mothers. Some of the children groaned when I said the names of the children I'd selected but it wasn't for want of trying, some mothers were so scared that they didn't want their children to go outside.
Amy (Aces MC Series Book 3.5) Page 4