I immediately placed my hand to where he'd just hit and felt a lump from the force he'd used. James' eyes were ablaze with anger and I was finding it hard to comprehend what had aggravated him so much.
"Get up you cunt and let's sort it out in the only way you fucking know how." James clenched his fists and stood as if he was ready for combat.
Still confused I glanced in the direction of the guys to see Diesel hand Spike a £20 note. Spike made eye contact with me and gave a quick wink before folding his arms across his chest ready to see the show. Fucking unbelievable, my brothers were betting on the fight!
I moved so that I was on all fours and was instantly winded as James' boot made contact with my chest. I stayed in this position as I tried to breathe oxygen into my lungs before leaning on the brick wall for support to help me stand.
"What the fuck you playing at?" I asked resting my hands on my knees as I breathed heavily.
"Just stay the fuck away from Ames."
Just the mention of her name made my heart beat faster, and I didn't appreciate him calling her that, it was too familiar. I stood tall and stepped towards him, "She ain't yours James, you need to get over that."
"She would be if you stopped fucking with her head and let her get on with her life but then again that's what you do."
"What the fuck you talking about? You don't know anything about me!"
"I know more than enough. I know you bailed on her when she needed you most."
"What the fuck you talking about?"
"The fucking baby you prick!" James spun on his heels and made his way back to his vehicle. He had an element of urgency about him and I didn't know if it was because he thought I may retaliate or he was going to see Ames, and the thought of that killed me.
I placed my hands on my hips as I watched him reverse his car and make his way from the yard. What the fuck was that all about? Okay, he saw us have a dance and a little kiss yesterday but he needed to chill the fuck out.
I placed my hand onto my cheek and felt the swelling. He'd caught me well I'd give him that but the only reason I wasn't beating the shit out of him was because of Ames. There was no way of winning back her heart if I beat the shit out of someone she cared about but I wouldn't be mugged off, so if he tried to do something like that again he'd fucking know about it.
I shook my head as I walked back to the bench where the group were congregated and was surprised to see their unease.
"Does someone want to tell me what the fuck is going on?" I asked feeling my earlier anger ignite. I glanced around the group and not one of them would make eye contact as they sipped their drinks. I placed both hands on the table, "Someone start talking!" I commanded letting them know that I was about to lose it.
Spike turned to me and was about to speak when Diesel placed his hand gently onto Spike's arm, "I need to do this."
"Do what Diesel?"
"I need to explain about Amy's situation."
I opened my arms wide, "I'm all ears go on!"
Diesel let out a sigh and placed his bottle on the table in front of him. "That night at the club five years ago, something more serious happened to Amy than her just getting stabbed."
"You told me that she wasn't raped."
"And you have my word that she wasn't"
"So what the fuck aren't you telling me Diesel?"
"I don't know how to say this mate but she lost your baby Recon. The force of the knife resulted in her miscarrying your baby."
I played his words over and over again in my head but they weren't registering. Baby! Both Diesel and James had mentioned a baby, my baby but why hadn't Ames told me if this was true? I heard someone call my name in the distance but I was in a trance trying to process what he'd just said and I felt the urge to see her.
"Recon!" I finally looked up to see the three of them stare at me. "I'm so sorry man I wanted to tell you but Amy swore us to secrecy." Diesel walked around the table to place his hand on my shoulder reassuringly.
"Us! You mean you all fucking knew?" I stepped back and paced the yard, my head was all over the place and I couldn't handle any more surprises. I ran my hands through my short hair and returned to the table, "Duke, we're supposed to be fucking mates."
Duke held up his hands, "I only found out last week don't shoot the messengers, she was going to tell you."
"Fuck! Why didn't she tell me five years ago?"
Duke shrugged, "Only she can answer that."
I turned on my heels and stomped towards my motorcycle, if she was the only person who could answer that question then there was no point sitting here. I mounted my ride and fastened my helmet quickly under my chin, before leaving the yard at speed to go in search of the only person that could give me the answers I was so badly looking for.
Amy
"So if you just sign here and here, then I think we're done Mr Lambert." I stated pointing to the places that he needed to sign and print his name.
He removed a pen from his breast pocket of his suit jacket and pressed the end so that he could use what looked to be an expensive pen. I noticed his smooth callus free hands as he glided the pen to sign the paperwork that would generate a lot of money for the club.
"It has been a pleasure this evening Miss Stokes, I'm pleased I was able to make your acquaintance." Something caught my eye from across the restaurant and I saw an altercation by the main doors but it looked like they had it under control. I turned my attention back to Mr Lambert, "No the pleasure was all mine." I said extending my hand towards him. His eye glistened as he grasped my hand and brought it closer to his face to place a gentle but lingering kiss on the back of my hand. I smiled sweetly before retracting my hand from his grasp and took the paperwork folding it neatly before placing it into my handbag.
"Awww!" I screamed as I was yanked backwards. I felt a sharp pinch and instantly looked down to see a large hand gripped tightly around my arm. "What the fuck you doing?" I shouted not recognising my own voice as I glared from the hand up towards the bloke who had hold of me but my demeanour changed when I realised that it was Blake. I shrugged trying to get him to release his hold but it didn't make any difference.
"I'm calling the police." Mr Lambert stated pulling out his mobile from his pocket.
"Honestly it's fine, he's a pussy cat really." I shouted over my shoulder trying to calm the situation as I was dragged from the building. I saw a combination of disapproving and sympathetic expressions as I passed the customers but tried to smile sweetly as I didn't want the police involved. Blake obviously had something on his mind and I'd have to listen if I wanted to or not.
"Blake you could've blown the whole deal for..." Blake swung me around and pushed me hard up against the brick wall as his body covered mine. I felt my heart rate quicken as Blake pushed his groin forward making me tingle with excitement. This is what he did, he knew what I enjoyed and played on it.
I opened my eyes and was surprised not to see the animalistic desire that he usually had when we played rough but there was something different about his demeanour. I knew this look though, it was pure aggression he was annoyed and it looked like it was with me.
"Fucking hell Vixen!"
"Blake please don't call me that!"
"I'll call you what I fucking like." I rolled my eyes at his comment but this was no time to antagonise. "Well if you don't like Vixen, why don't I call you something else?" I looked at him confused, he obviously had something to say but was enjoying drawing it out.
"Blake can you say what you've got to say and go." I said breathlessly and a little unsure if I wanted him to leave me just yet.
He stepped back giving me some room to breathe, "What about liar? Yeah, that's a good thing to call you or maybe secretive bitch because from where I'm standing at the moment I think that quite suits you."
Blake ran his hands over his head in frustration, I saw the anguish on his face and new exactly what he was talking about. "Why didn't you tell me Ames?" I immediately looked to the ground n
ot wanting to see the hurt on his face. "Look at me when I'm talking to you!" He shouted stepping closer to ram his hand under my chin before he grasped it hard and held it firm so I couldn't look away. My eyes clouded as the tears formed, and I tried desperately not to blink through fear of crying but it was no use. They unwillingly trickled down my cheeks for him to see. "How could you betray me like that?" he asked through gritted teeth.
"I'm sorry," I said quietly and wiped my right cheek with the cuff of my jacket.
"Don't think for one minute that those tears are gonna save you from what I need to say." He bellowed and for the first time ever I felt threatened because of the rage in his eyes. He let go of my chin roughly and stepped back placing his hands on his hips as he assessed me. "You've broken my fucking heart."
"I'm sorry." I said again as they were the only words I could find.
"People say sorry when they do something wrong or forget about something. You didn't forget that our baby died, you chose not to tell me and there's a fucking clear difference," he spat full of anger.
The flood gates opened further and the tears kept coming. I had wanted to tell him for so long and I felt that some of these tears were also relief that he finally knew.
Blake growled from frustration and anger and slowly stepped closer to wrap his arms around my shoulders and pull me in close to his chest. I breathed in the familiar smell and listened to his erratic heartbeat as I placed my head against his chest and let him hold me as he moved his hand to cup the back of my neck lightly.
"I so want to be angry with you but I could never do it for long." His change in demeanour only brought back memories of before the cruel incident that resulted in me losing our baby. Blake stooped down slightly to place a small kiss on the top of my head before he swallowed hard, "I've got questions though babe, a fucking lot of questions that need to be answered or it's gonna send me crazy." I nodded my head slowly and broke from his hold to step back and lean against the wall.
Blake let out a loud sigh, "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked softly.
I paused trying to collect my thoughts before I unleashed the information that would break his heart further and mine once again but I'd kept it from him for so long that it was only right that I told him the truth.
I exhaled a long breath building up the courage, "I only found out that I was pregnant after I woke in the hospital."
Blake nodded understanding what I'd just said, "So why didn't you tell me?"
I was already finding this harder than expected, "What? So you could pity me and feel obliged to comfort me?" I instantly went into defensive mode, a coping strategy that I used often to try and protect myself.
"When did you become so fucking hard faced Vixen, you know I fucking loved you!"
I felt like the air had just been sucked from my lungs by his revelation and my mouth bobbed open finding it difficult to find the right words. "What? You're telling me that you didn't know?" Blake looked at me questioning my response as he drew his brows together. "I was going to propose to you at the hospital but you sent me away."
It went eerily quiet as I tried to process what he'd just said. "For fucks sake say something Ames."
"I'm still trying to digest the idea of you loving me!" I was honestly shocked, I knew he enjoyed my company and that we got on really well but to love me that was completely different.
"I always have babe and probably always will." I opened my mouth slightly still in shock by his confession and unconsciously licked my lips. I saw the glint in his eye as he eagerly watched my tongue dart from my mouth, and took this as a green light as he leaned forwards to place his lips on mine. His movement took me by surprise but it felt good and I quickly opened up allowing him to snake his tongue into my mouth. The raw emotion ripped through my body and I felt the urge to be taken but I knew deep down that it wasn't with him that I wanted to be taken by.
I broke the kiss, "We can't do this Blake, it'll just muddy the waters." I said trying to catch my breath. "You need to keep your distance."
Blake rested his forehead on mine, "We could give this another go Ames, you know we're good together."
"Yes we get on but we're good together in bed Blake that's all." Blake smiled wickedly and raised his brows which made me snigger, "But a relationship needs more than just great sex."
"Is that what you get with the doctor, more than just great sex?"
"I don't want to do this now Blake."
"Do you love him?" he asked.
I had thought about it, I cared for him deeply however it was possibly too early to call it love, although despite our troubles I could see a future with him. I nodded my head slowly unsure of what reaction this would provoke but I wanted to let Blake know that there was no future between us, "I think I do but it's difficult." I stated shrugging my shoulders.
Blake let out a sigh, "Well I can't compete with that babe." He stepped back giving me the space needed to adjust my clothes, as I looked up I could see that he had something he wanted to ask.
"What is it Blake?"
He shuffled slightly, "Does he love you?"
I shrugged, "I honestly don't know."
"You mean he hasn't told you." Blake cocked his head as he drew his brows together.
"No he hasn't," I said quietly.
"Well he's either madly in love with you or fucking stupid as hell because he's not thinking straight that's for sure."
"What do you mean?" He was talking in riddles.
"He came to the clubhouse earlier and took me down in front of the guys. He's got balls I'll give him that and I only didn't retaliate because of you."
I opened my mouth shocked by what he'd just said. James was a lover not a fighter, why would he risk being hurt himself by going to the clubhouse with the purpose of an altercation with Blake.
"Did he say anything or just hit you?" I was still confused.
Blake took a deep breath, "He mentioned the baby but I didn't know what he was talking about until I questioned the guys after."
"What did they tell you exactly?" I asked unsure by how much information they'd given him.
"That when you were stabbed it caused you to miscarry. Why? Is there something else you're not telling me Ames?" Blake stepped closer and held my face in both hands directing my face towards him.
This affected me it wasn't his problem but if it was the evening for honesty I had nothing to lose. "There were complications with the operation after the stabbing, it means that I can't ever have children." The information fell from my mouth quite easily which surprised me.
I saw the rage burn deeply in his eyes and felt his hands grip tightly around my face, "Blake you're hurting me," I said trying to pull away.
"Sorry babe," he dropped his hands but clenched them into fists. Quick as a flash he pulled his arm back and punched the wall beside me, he pulled it back again but I moved in front of him and made a lunge for his face to caress it. This used to calm him down I just hoped it would still. His eyes were alight, "Blake you need to calm down babe." I ran my hands across his cheeks trying to pull his head down towards me so that he could look into my eyes but it wasn't registering. "Recon!" His eyes flickered to mine and he was back with me, "It's okay babe, I've had five years to get used to the idea."
"But I ain't, I should've been there to protect you Ames." Blake moved forward and scooped me into his arms, enveloping me which made it difficult to breath.
"It was tough babe, I'm not going to lie but it's just changed the trajectory." Blake ran his hand up and down the back of my head in a soothing motion and I savoured the feeling knowing that it was the last time I'd allow him to touch me.
I don't know how long we stayed like this for but it felt like we both knew that this was goodbye. I unwillingly pulled myself from his embrace knowing that I couldn't stay like this for much longer.
"Where you parked babe?" Blake asked looking from the alley into the street.
"Just a couple of cars down the street," I stated pointing i
n the direction.
Blake nodded, "Let me walk you, I've got a few things I need to do this evening." He held out his hand and I happily took it as we walked from the alley and down the street to where my car was parked.
"So this is it babe."
I nodded my head agreeing as I knew it was the right things to do, "It sure is."
"Do I get one last kiss, for old time sake?" I sniggered at his comment and leaned against my car ready for him to kiss me. Blake positioned his legs between mine and pressed up against me, he placed his hands on both my cheeks and lowered his mouth to mine. The kiss started tender as our lips moulded perfectly but Blake intensified the kiss and moved his hands to the back of my neck so that he could pull me in deeper. Our tongues clashed as the kiss became more heated and I felt his erection press firmly against my hip as he grinded it into me.
Blake pulled back, "Whoa, I've gotta stop there babe or I'll make a conscious effort to do you over your bonnet." He sniggered. I smiled and tried to control my breathing as I reached into my handbag to find my car keys. "I better be going Ames, like I said I've got a few things I need to sort out." He turned and stomped towards his motorcycle before stopping abruptly. "I still have a lot of unanswered questions Ames, I'd like to meet up and discuss sometime."
I nodded my head, "That's fine, I'll be in touch." Blake smiled before he turned and continued towards his ride.
I opened the door to my car and threw my handbag into the passenger footwell before I sat in the driver's seat, contemplating this evenings events. I knew deep down that I should've told Blake earlier but I needed to grieve myself before I thought about anyone else's feelings. Being able to tell him this evening though had allowed a weight to be lifted and hopefully I could find some closure and Blake could move on with his own life.
Recon
"I can do this all night." I swung back my arm and pushed through knocking the snivelling piece of shit backwards onto the ground. I eagerly stepped forward and Justice helped me pick up the chair that Sam was still attached to. Once he was upright I pulled back my fist ready to make contact again.
Amy (Aces MC Series Book 3.5) Page 21