by Heather Boyd
Ethan stepped closer. “There is still no news of our ship. I don’t understand and I am so sorry my situation hasn’t changed.”
A few years ago, before her father’s ruin, Ethan and her father had become investors in the same shipping line. The flagship was reported lost at sea although they both had doubts of the truth of that claim. They both continued to suffer for that lost cargo and still hope their ship might sail into port one day. There were other losses that had afflicted her father’s finances but that ship and its cargo was of the greatest value.
“It’s hardly your fault and you’ve no cause to worry.” She forced a smile to her lips. “Everything happens for a reason.”
“Does it?” He stepped back with a shake of his head. “Your father and I discussed the ship and its cargo long before I ever knew he would invest. Given everything else, I fear I bring only bad luck to you and everyone I befriend.”
She reached out to him. “You are not to blame for my father’s decisions. He was not a well man at the time.”
“I think I’m cursed, Iris.” Ethan nodded and drew back. “Maybe you had it wrong. If a man such as Lord Louth has the foresight to ask for your hand, you should accept. You are better off without me in your life.”
That wasn’t altogether true. If she’d married Ethan she would likely never have fallen in with Talbot’s scheme for quick riches and might never have stood on the precipice of disgrace. She might have been poor, but she would have been guiltless of any crime. Ethan could have made her happy. He would have tried, at least.
She followed him a few steps and then faltered when hope sprang to his eyes. What was she doing, chasing after a man she barely cared for? She did not love him or have a future with him. This certainly was not the way to begin her new life as Lord Louth’s mistress.
“Be clever, Iris, and say yes to Lord Louth when he asks for your hand.” Ethan backed away. “I would only hurt you.”
He vanished into the darkness so completely that she could not even hear his steps as he fled from her. And she would only hurt him, and everyone else, if she pursued him from the ball to make sure he understood what had happened to her father’s fortune had never been his fault.
“Iris?”
Iris turned slowly. Lord Louth’s towering bulk loomed over her. He stared down at her with guarded eyes, a question in them. Heedless of the impropriety, she set her hand to his chest and held on to him. Any lingering distress receded in his comforting presence. But how much had he overheard? She hoped he had not overheard her discussing her father’s health with Ethan. “I am better now.”
“You were truly unwell?” He took her arm and guided her to a stone bench. “Here, sit a moment.”
Iris felt rather foolish in the wake of his tender concern. Her reactions to seeing Louth admired by other women was something she could never admit to but she would have to accept. She supposed it was a mistress’s lot in life to feel on the outer. Perhaps if she could persuade him to set her up in the country, she would not care what he did in London because she would never see him bestow affection on another. “It is nothing but nerves and will pass quickly I am sure.”
“It is not nothing if you’re sneaking off to be with Grindlewood.” He scowled. “I won’t have it.”
She blinked at the hurt in his voice. “I did not sneak anywhere.” A blind run was a more apt description.
His eyes narrowed. “You were speaking to the viscount.”
“Yes. But it’s not what you suggest. We only talked, my lord. Nothing more scandalous than that, and please do remember that I don’t belong to you yet.”
“Not yet. But you will.” His nostrils flared as he inhaled sharply. “A gentleman must always guard a woman’s reputation and I will protect you even from yourself.”
“Goodness, anyone would think I was on the brink of being seduced here on the terrace.” She stroked his thigh and sighed. “I assure you that was not the case. Ethan was a perfect gentleman.”
His eyes narrowed so she trailed her fingers along his thigh again. A delicious wave of anticipation swept through her. Was he all muscle beneath his fine clothes? She leaned toward him and risked brushing a quick kiss to his cheek. “Could we discuss him later?”
“Yes, we most definitely will.” Louth cupped her face in his large hand and stroked his thumb over her cheek. “Are you curious about the woman I was speaking to before you ran off?”
Her pleasure in the moment vanished. “I suppose.”
Painfully curious, but he would surely never like her to be possessive or reveal her true thoughts on the woman.
“We were close years ago, soon after I came into the title,” he confessed with a shake of his head. He brushed his lips across hers softly then cleared his throat. “Unfortunately, she’s got herself in a spot of trouble, the silly fool.”
He dropped his hand and stared off into the darkness.
“I see.” The minute the woman had spoken to Louth, Iris had felt insanely disagreeable toward her and it seemed her instincts were correct. Hearing the woman described as a “silly fool” eased the tightness around her heart considerably. When the lady had touched his arm, Iris wanted to scratch out her eyes. She’d been grateful to Whitney for dragging her away but now she was even more curious about their conversation. “What sort of trouble?”
“Like your father, she lived beyond her means and seeks to avoid her responsibilities,” Louth confided.
A chill swept over her skin at the way Louth implied her father had been reckless. For the most part he’d been a very frugal man until the years immediately prior to his incarceration. The losses hadn’t been intentional. However, Iris had enough problems of her own to wish not to hear of other people’s debts. “We should return inside before anyone notices us gone so long.”
Lord Louth helped her to her feet and as she stood at his side, the urge to take his arm increased. It was a possessive thought, and she quickly ignored the wish to claim him as her own. She moved toward the ballroom unaided but her heart was heavy. Just a little longer and she could cease pretending to be one of them.
Once inside, Louth led her toward Miss Crewe, where she stood in conversation with Lady Taverham beside the dance floor. For a change, the marchioness’s husband was nowhere in sight.
“My dear, it’s a pleasure to meet you again.” Lady Taverham beamed and extended her hand. “Miss Crewe and Lord Louth have nothing but the highest praise for your character.”
Iris smiled but when her gaze fell on Louth’s former lover watching him from across the room with doe eyes, she did not feel herself a good character. She had detested the woman on sight, and now that she knew she’d met someone he’d taken to bed, been intimate with, she was even more anxious about the lack of contract between them. She would have to address that issue soon. “You’re very kind, my lady.”
When Iris glanced up at Louth to invite him to call tomorrow, he was studying Mrs. Ward as if he’d already forgotten Iris existed.
She dropped her gaze, hiding the jealousy she couldn’t suppress. This would never do. She had to learn to ignore the way he might look at other women, and how they looked at him like their next affair.
She raised her chin, drawn straight into Lady Taverham’s kind gaze. The marchioness tilted her head and drew Iris to her side. “Would you do me the honor of an introduction to Lady Heathcote? I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure yet.”
“Of course. Do excuse us, my lord.” She did not meet Louth’s gaze before escorting Lady Taverham across the room. They passed Talbot on the way. He did not approach but given the way her skin crawled, he followed her progress.
She stopped at Esme’s side and waited to be noticed. After the introductions were complete, Esme gave her a smile. “I don’t think you can claim to be invisible now. A rather distinguished rogue is watching you still.”
Lady Taverham glanced behind to where Lord Louth stood watching them and grinned widely. “Not a rogue but the best of men. I’ve
never known him to be so openly appreciative of a woman before. I shall have great fun teasing him about his fall later.”
That could be disastrous. Lady Taverham must think he had honorable intentions. “Oh, please don’t embarrass him. He’s just a friend.”
“After all he has done for me over the years, I’d never dream of embarrassing him. Teasing him in private is another matter entirely. But I must correct you on one point. I am his friend, and I must tell you, he does not normally look that way at me or any other woman he considers a friend. You are special to him indeed.”
A blush filled her cheeks as the ladies exchanged conspiratorial smiles and she glanced across the ballroom, panic filling her. This was dreadful. Both women were going to ruin everything between her and Louth. Lady Taverham would be disappointed when she learned the truth of their arrangement.
But to protest would require her to clarify what their arrangement did entail.
She wasn’t that bold yet.
She lifted her chin, accepting that here was a woman she might regret disappointing.
Talbot hovered at the edge of her line of sight, waiting for her to pass word of their means of access to steal from Lord Windermere. She was a thief’s accomplice and now a fallen woman. She’d never meant to hurt anyone but it seemed inevitable no matter what she did.
Lady Taverham excused herself after a short time to rejoin her husband, and then Lady Ames claimed her company. Later Esme found her again, and around and around the room she went, apparently indispensible in every conversation. She never managed to have a moment alone again that evening. The window she was expected to open in Lord Windermere’s study remained locked at the end of the night as she left at Esme’s side and climbed into her waiting carriage. “What an exhausting evening.”
Talbot would be furious but for once Iris was beyond caring. “It was but a great deal of fun besides.”
Iris had felt included for the first time since her family’s ruin and she wanted to cling to the sensation of acceptance for as long as possible.
Eleven
Martin paced Lady Heathcote’s shadowed drawing room, unsure whether to call the evening out a disaster or a success. Whitney had danced four sets more than her usual two and been much admired as far as he could tell. But his relief was tempered with exasperation. He wanted to know why Iris was sneaking off to meet her former betrothed. If she had any lingering feelings for the man, she should have married him years ago.
It might be inexcusably late to call on his betrothed but he wanted to be sure there were no impediments to his alliance with Iris. Vivian Rose had taught him the value of directly questioning everything he assumed about how women think.
The door shut softly and he faced the sound. “About time.”
“Forgive me. I had not realized you were to call on me tonight.” Iris stifled a yawn. “Is something the matter? Is there something you want?”
She rubbed her arms briskly, which only drew his attention to her body and the fact that she wasn’t wearing the dusky-pink evening gown she’d worn at the ball but something far more intimate. A dark-hued silk robe clung to her curves and his breath caught. She’d come to meet him as a mistress would her protector, and that couldn’t be further from the truth.
“Yes. You.” He tried to relax, fighting the urge to touch her. “But I want to know about Lord Grindlewood first. I overheard part of your conversation.”
Her brow rose at his confession to spying on her. “Eavesdropping?”
He shrugged and made no apology for spying on her. He’d been unable to turn his attention from her all night. Soon everyone, including Iris, would know what she meant to him. As the last man who would ever kiss her, his reasons for asking about Grindlewood were fair to his mind.
She tapped the back of a chair a few times and then grimaced. “Was that woman really only asking you for money?”
He stared at Iris on hearing the bite of disapproval for Helena, a woman she couldn’t possibly know anything about other than what he’d told her that night. There was no need for Iris to feel slighted that he’d not introduced them. Helena was only a friend and would forever remain that way.
“To be completely honest, she initially asked for my protection, which I immediately refused of course on account of you.”
“Why of course?” Iris turned away, folding her arms around her. “Lord Gandy had three mistresses at once last year, if I recall the worst accusations leveled against him by his wife.”
“And he died in one of their beds, too.” He laughed and drew Iris around to face him. “A happy circumstance for him I’m sure, but entirely beside the point. Do you still love him?”
“Lord Gandy?” Iris frowned. “No, I never met the man.”
He gritted his teeth, hating that he couldn’t stop picturing Iris and Grindlewood alone on that blasted terrace. But after his ignorance of Vivian Rose’s interest in another man, he did not want to take any chances he was being used. “I meant your viscount. If he means to marry you, of course I will stand aside.”
“Ethan has not the funds for a poor wife. That is why I broke with him, so he could marry someone with a dowry.”
He caught her face and lifted her gaze to his. “I see, but do you love him?”
“No. I don’t love him.”
“Good.” Martin nodded, aware of how her words had overwhelmed him with optimism. “There was something you said tonight that made me realize you’d mistaken my intent with you.”
She stilled. “Have you changed your mind about offering for me now?”
He brought his other hand to her face and gently traced her hairline. She was so beautiful like this—so honest in her emotions that they were as clear as if she’d spoken them out loud. She was jealous of the fleeting attention he’d given a past lover tonight and uncertain again of her own appeal when there was no need for concern. “Not in the least, but I fear I might not have been clear about what I do want in a wife.”
Her eyes widened impossibly. “Wife?”
He nodded and smiled warmly at her. “As soon as I can procure your father’s permission, I will marry you.”
She eased away from his touch, staring at him in shock as if she’d never considered him as her husband. “You cannot want to marry me.”
“But I do.” He caught her tiny hand in his and rubbed across her knuckles with his thumb. “Why do you think I hated the idea of you taking lessons in passion from another man so very much? You will belong to me, Iris, in every sense of the word.”
“Oh. Oh, I see.” She rubbed her neck and spun away.
Martin watched her in confusion. He’d expected something more in response to his promise to give her his name along with his protection. “Iris? What is it? Do not say you don’t want to marry me now? Not after all we’ve done together.”
“I do want you. I do. But I never dared to dream of more.” She lowered her face. “You were so against everything I wanted.”
He touched her arm. “Your dreams were not high enough. I promise to do all I can to make you happy.”
“That is very good of you.” She turned and lifted her face to his. He was startled to see the beginnings of tears in her eyes. “I am growing concerned. Ethan has taken it into his head that he’s cursed but what if I am the source of bad luck?”
Martin set his hands to her shoulders, astonished by her wild imaginings. “Cursed? That isn’t possible. You are the most perfect woman in all of London. I’ve never met a lady who’s impressed me more.”
“No one is ever what they seem.” She dropped her hands to her sides and then pressed her head to his chest. “I don’t believe it’s the first time Ethan has alluded to those feelings.”
Martin stoked down the curve of her back. Beneath the silk robe, she shivered. “Surely he has family to look out for him, and you will too. You do not need to worry anymore.”
She moved out of his reach and shrugged. “He is, or rather was, a friend too. I cannot help but worry about m
y friends, even though I cannot help them any more than I can help myself.”
Martin was overwhelmed by the desire to drag Iris into his arms and cease her concern for other people. A good kiss would make her forget she’d spoken to Grindlewood tonight. Removing to Holly Park and leaving London behind once they wed would keep them apart. However, he didn’t want to get ahead of himself, so he held his tongue about their life after marriage. “But it was you who broke the engagement, wasn’t it?”
“I did. He was very upset with me at the time and swore the money didn’t matter. But it always does.” She sank into a chair and placed her hands in her lap. “I had thought I had done the wise thing but now I am not so sure. He is still unmarried.”
“He will find another woman eventually.” Grindlewood did not lack for admirers, from what Martin could see.
She pressed her lips together in a tight line. “Are you sure you should marry me? I would have been content to be your mistress. A little home in the country is all I want, and to see you.”
“Marrying is the correct thing to do and we can certainly remove to Holly Park as soon as you like, if you are weary of London.” He approached her and knelt at her feet. “About what happened in the dining room. If I have made you feel uncomfortable, I apologize. I took advantage of your inexperience to prove my point that we were not finished with each other. We never will be now but I won’t impose on you until we exchange vows.”
She swallowed and met his gaze. “You won’t?”
“I’ve been celibate for so long, another month or so won’t harm me.” Damn but he hated lying, even to himself. His cock and balls ached at the very sight of her like this. Beneath the robe, Iris was likely dressed in a thin white nightgown and nothing more. A tantalizing bow at the neckline laced the garment closed. The belted robe was thin enough that he might see her figure if she stepped before candlelight. “Unless you say you want more.”