But I know Phoenix wants me to.
I can see it from the horny look in his eyes, and the way he’s touching himself through his jeans.
After a few seconds, the button of his jeans pop, his zipper lowers, and his pants and boxer briefs come down. The elastic band has trouble sliding down over his cock, which is massive. When it pops out in full glory, I have to swallow down my saliva. There’s a piercing going horizontally through the head of his cock. I feel bad for looking at it, especially when my clit begins to thump.
“What’s the matter, Princess? Like what you see?” His gruff voice has my body shaking with need.
Goddammit, I hate that he always has this effect on me. He can make me want things I thought I could do without. The way he touches the knob of the piercing, circling it with his thumb, makes me wet my lips. When a hiss comes out of his mouth, I almost explode right there and then.
“Ah-ah, Princess. Don’t come just yet,” he muses, biting his lip. “But don’t you stop teasing yourself either or I’ll come and play with you myself.”
He seems highly amused by all of this, which pisses me off, but I continue nonetheless. The more excited I get, the easier it becomes. With one hand, he’s stroking his cock, while he uses the knife with his other hand to etch into the armrest of the chair. The wood curls and drifts to the floor as he jerks off faster and faster, licking his lips at the sight of me. My lips quiver as I’m on the verge of coming, but I don’t allow myself to. I don’t want to, even though my body is shaking with need.
“That’s it, Princess. Fuck, I’m so hard right now,” he growls, his cock bouncing up and down.
I try to control my pleasure, try to ignore it, but it’s impossible. “I can’t … please,” I mumble.
“What?” he says, raising an eyebrow. “You wanna come?”
“Yes, oh god, yes,” I moan.
Shit. From the wretched smile on his face, I can tell he loved hearing that. Goddammit.
Suddenly, he says, “Stop.”
My fingers lay restless on top of my pussy, my heart beating in my throat, pumping blood toward that one region. I can’t think of anything else but coming right now, and there he is, making me stop out of nowhere.
Why? And why in heaven’s name do I listen?
“Good little Princess,” he says, and then he gets up from the chair. “Time to join in on the fun.”
“What?” I exclaim. “That isn’t part of—”
“Part of what? Agreement?” He laughs. “There’s only what I want and what you will do, and those two will always match.”
Kicking off his pants and boxer shorts, he walks up to my cage butt naked and sits down on his knees. “You’re going to pleasure yourself in front of me, and I’m going to thoroughly enjoy myself,” he says with a smirk.
Sighing, but not responding because I won’t give him that satisfaction, I start toying with my pussy again. It’s still sensitive to the point of erupting within a few seconds, but now that he’s up close and personal, it feels more wrong than ever. It’s like he’s invading my privacy, probably to make me uncomfortable as part of his punishment. Bah. I hate it. And yet I can’t stop myself from flicking my nub, overly aroused.
“That’s it, Princess,” he says, stroking his erection, which is pointed straight at me. “Let me see that pretty face.” He smiles as I raise my head. “All red from excitement. Pucker those lips for me.”
I do as he says, and he immediately grasps my face and pulls me closer, pressing his lips onto mine.
Oh, fuck.
His kiss is intense, exploding my mind into little bits of delirium as I lose the fight with myself and with him. His lips explore mine eagerly, his tongue probing the rim to gain entry. He sucks on my bottom lip, feverishly kissing me. Moans escape my mouth as his tongue latches onto mine in a furious battle of wills. My lips seek his and take his kisses with need. Everything feels out of control, out of balance. I can’t stop, and I don’t want to anymore. Even if it’s wrong, even if I hate him for doing this to me, and even if he hates me to his core. My body shivers with excitement as I hear him groan, licking my lips while he jerks himself off in front of me. Everything about this, us, is wrong … but oh, does it feel good.
When he takes his lips off me, I don’t even know where I am anymore. My brain is fried. All I can think of is feeling his lips again.
He muffles a laugh. “So eager for more.”
Suddenly, he pinches my nipple. My eyes flash open, and a squeal leaves my mouth.
“What are you doing?” I yell.
“Don’t stop rubbing that pussy, Princess,” he says. “Or your pain will be far worse than this.”
Dammit. I try to ignore the pain, but the pulsing in my pussy is too strong, and it’s almost impossible. He’s pinching so hard; the heat of it shoots straight through my body.
“Painful?” he asks. “Good.”
“Why?” I growl, watching him jerk his cock even faster.
“Because I love to see your pain,” he says. “You should’ve remembered that.”
“Oh, fuck you …” I mutter, still toying with myself.
“Oh, yes …” he groans. “But first, you’re going to come.”
“What? Not like this,” I say. “It hurts.”
“Yes, like this,” he says, tugging my nipple until my breast reaches all the way through the bars.
I hiss from the pain. “Fine.”
“Good. I like to have things my way,” he muses. “Make that pussy come. Bite through the pain, Princess.”
I groan, trying to concentrate on my pleasure, but the pain and him being so close makes it hard. I feel his hot breath on my skin as he keeps me close just by pulling my nipple, making sure that I can’t go anywhere but closer to him. He’s watching me intently, the veins in his cock growing thicker with each passing second. Pre-cum drips from the tip, coating his length with a glistening slickness. Looking at it helps, even though I don’t want it to. I’m on the verge of coming, when he suddenly switches nipples, tugging on the other just when I’m finding my release.
“Come now,” he growls.
“Fuck!” I scream, out of both pain and pleasure. Ecstasy bursts through my body, my nipple still sizzling as I fall apart completely. My body shakes, and when I open my eyes, I find that Phoenix’s body is rocking, too.
“Fuck yeah, I’m going to cover you in my cum.”
He bucks his hips, tightening his muscles and gripping the base of his penis. A loud roar rolls over his tongue and then he shoots his load all over my breasts. As he comes, he tugs on my nipple so hard that my body lowers itself, leaning closer to his cock. The spurts keep coming as he aims for my face, surprising me with cum.
“Open that pretty mouth of yours,” he says, roughly pulling on my nipple.
His cum shoots into my mouth, making me gag as it drips from the roof of my mouth onto my tongue. I can taste his saltiness as he squirts it all over my face and my mouth. Five spurts, and then he’s finally spent, and I’m covered in his seed.
Panting, he slaps my breast, making me squeal. “Swallow it.”
I make a face, which makes his eyes go from pleased into complete burning rage. “Do it!”
I don’t think twice, swallowing his cum down, further prolonging the taste in my mouth. And the worst part of it all is that I don’t mind tasting him. He tastes just like he used to, just how I liked it. Goddammit.
“Good Princess,” he muses with a smile like the devil himself.
He wipes the remaining cum from his cock on my cheek and gets up on his feet. I feel disgusting, dirty, and worst of all, more humiliated than I’ve ever felt. I guess that’s what he wanted all along.
He walks back to the chair and puts his jeans back on, tucking everything in as if nothing ever happened. And I’m sitting here with my ripped dress and his stickiness slapped all over my face and breasts.
When he walks toward the door, I say, “Where are you going?”
He briefly glance
s over his shoulder. “You’d like to know that … wouldn’t you?”
God, I hate him for mocking me, which is why he’s doing it in the first place. And, dammit, it’s working because I’m pissed off.
“You can’t leave me,” I say. “Not like this.”
“Hmm … why? Can’t handle a little cum?” he says, opening the door.
“I’m filthy,” I say.
“Exactly,” he says, the smirk still visible on his face. “Not so pretty anymore, are you? Now you’re just as filthy as me.”
And then he slams the door closed behind him.
CHAPTER 11
PHOENIX
Age 13
“What’s that filth doing here?”
I hear her screeching voice before I see her, but when she pushes past the housekeeper to see who’s standing in front of her door, I finally get to see the wicked witch, as Vanessa calls her. Vanessa’s mother stares down at me with chapped, pursed lips, her frown so tight I expect it to be permanent. I wonder if she’s ever not grumpy. I understand the nickname now.
“What are you doing here?” she asks again, this time in an even more condescending tone.
“It’s Vanessa’s birthday, isn’t it?” I say, smiling politely. I already hate this woman just because of the way she talks to me, but I want to be nice for Vanessa’s sake.
“So?” she says, blocking the doorway as if she’s afraid I might run in.
“I have a present,” I say, holding it up for her to see.
Her lips rise a little, like a dog sniffing something they despise. The housekeeper takes it after Vanessa’s mother refuses to budge. “I’ll give it to her.”
“Don’t call her,” the mother says to the housekeeper, who turns on her heels and walks inside.
I frown. “Can’t I come inside? I want to wish her a happy birthday.”
Vanessa’s mother holds onto the door with her French manicured nails. “Vanessa is busy.”
When she tries to close the door, I say, “Wait,” and put my foot in to block her.
I didn’t think the wicked witch could look any more terrifying than she already did, but I was wrong. “What are you doing?”
“Vanessa!” I call out.
“No!” the mother says. “I said she’s busy, and you’re not invited.”
“But it’s her birthday and I want to give her my present!” I say.
I hear footsteps coming down the staircase, and for a second, I spot a bright smile in the corner, just behind her mother. It’s her. In a sky blue, sparkly dress, she walks down the hallway toward me. However, the moment she sets her eyes on me, they turn gloomy and her smile dissipates like the sun on a cloudy day.
“Thank you for your gift. Now go,” her mother says, shoving me forward, and then she slams the door shut. I barely manage to save my own foot, but I can still hear her mutter, “filthy boy.”
I should’ve known this would happen. Of course, it did. They all respond the same way when they meet me. I’m the boy who doesn’t have parents and whose foster parents don’t like him. They only wanted me for the extra money it provided. Who would ever want someone like me as their kid? The rebel boy who beats everyone up if they try to talk to him. The dangerous, filthy kind.
And now Vanessa’s seen it, too. I could see it in her pessimistic eyes … it was as if she felt sorry for me.
I take out the tiny, plastic cup with filtered lid on top from inside my pocket and open the cap, setting the butterfly, which I meant to give her as a secret extra gift, free.
Why do I even try to change people’s perception of me? It’s a waste of time, so I’m done now. I won’t try to fight it anymore. Instead, I’ll just be who I’m supposed to be.
If you can’t beat them, join them.
***
Age 14
At times when Vanessa is not around, my heart feels like it’s turning to stone. I need friends, people to talk to, but everyone only listens to the rumors and then they’re scared of me before they’ve even talked to me. It’s like I don’t even get a chance. Just because I occasionally lash out at bullies. Is it so wrong to put your foot down and draw a line? I can’t help that people piss me off so much.
The only ones who will talk to me are the goths with their tats and piercings. They’re two years older than I am, but they offered me a smoke. I guess it’s their way to see if I want to belong to their group or not, and if I could fit in.
Soon, I’m spending most of my free time in their group, as Vanessa is growing more and more distant. I wonder if it’s because of the pressure her parents put on her. I don’t understand why she cares so much, but whatever. I guess achieving something is worth more than doing what you enjoy.
I’m standing at a corner around the building with the group, and they’re passing along a joint, so naturally I take it, too. I want to know what it’s like, and there’s no harm in trying it out. It’s not like I’ll get addicted after one whiff.
As I take a breath, I cough immediately, and the guys all laugh. I quickly hand the joint to one of my friends, whose piercings make him look tough. The way he takes a drag, standing tall like nothing affects him, makes me admire him. Maybe I should think about getting some piercings and tattoos, too. I’m already deemed a dangerous guy without them, so might as well fit in with the crowd.
When the second round of smoking comes, a few people walk by the gate, and I try to hide the joint in my jacket. Too late, though. Vanessa is walking by, and her jaw just dropped.
She stampedes toward me and then stops right in front of me as I stare her down. “What are you doing?” she asks.
The guys begin to laugh, so I grab her by the arms and push her forward so I can talk privately. “Not now, okay?”
“Yes, now. Is that … a joint?”
“Yes, it is,” I say, tucking it further into my pocket until only the bud is visible, so it won’t burn a hole in my clothes. “But it’s none of your business.”
She frowns and makes a face. “Since when? Why do you do this?”
“Because I like it,” I say, shrugging. “Nothing wrong with that.”
She swipes my hand off her shoulder as if she thinks I’m dirty. “It’s wrong, Miles, and you know that. Since when did you become one of them?”
“I’m not. I’m just doing what I want.”
“Well, it’s not good for you,” she says, placing her hands on her side, as if she’s all that.
“I don’t need lecturing from you,” I hiss, leaning forward. “And in case you didn’t notice, they aren’t the nicest people, so I suggest you don’t go yelling across the yard what it is that we're doing here.”
“Or what?” Her eyes narrow. “Are you threatening me now?”
“No, I’m simply trying to warn you,” I say, looking into both her eyes. “They’re dangerous.”
“That’s what they said about you, too, and yet I know better.” She swallows. “And so do you.”
I sigh, feeling worse than I already did just from the disappointed look on her face. I hate feeling this way … like I’m useless, like I’m doing everything wrong. “Maybe I don’t want to know better.”
She shakes her head, mumbling, “Never mind.”
And then she turns around and strides away on those high heels of hers, pissing me off. Why in the hell is she running away from me? It’s as if she’s so mad that she doesn’t think I’m even worth talking to. Fuck.
I jog after her and grab her arm, but she jerks loose, shoving me away. “Let me go.”
“No, I wanna talk.”
“You made your point,” she says. “I won’t bother you anymore.” She turns to walk again.
“No, wait!” I stand in her way and say, “Don’t walk away from me.”
“Why not? You’re doing the same thing.”
I frown. “I’m not walking away from anything.”
She places her finger on my chest, tapping on the place where my heart is. “You’re walking away from the right thing, and w
hat you’re doing now … that isn’t it.”
I grab her hand and pull, causing her to step closer. “They’re my only friends, Vanessa. You can’t ask me to ditch them. That isn’t right, either.”
“You’re hanging out with the wrong crowd. They’re not your friends. Not good ones, anyway.” She looks up at me, tucking her brown curls behind her ears, and for the first time, I feel something more than just happiness when I see her. I feel anger … frustration … need.
Something wells up inside me, something primal, but I push it away because it feels bad.
“Then what should I do? Stay alone forever? Have no friends at all? Since I’m labeled as a piece of shit, they’re the only ones who’ll have me. In case you didn’t notice, I didn’t start out as well as you did.”
She makes a face. “That’s a low blow, and you know it. How dare you.” Her eyes are getting watery, and my muscles clench from seeing her hurt. “I thought I was your friend. But I guess that’s not enough for you.”
She tries to turn and walk away again, but I grab both her arms and shove her up against the wall with everything I have. I growl and breathe out loud, trying to calm myself down. All the pent-up rage is coming out as she’s cowering underneath me; her petite frame is easy to keep in place. Her chest rises with each breath she takes, directing all attention toward her ample tits, which have grown so big out of nowhere.
How did she get so attractive all of the sudden?
It’s like I never noticed how beautiful she actually is.
“You’re scaring me,” she says with a high-pitched voice, which alerts all my senses.
I lean in further, mesmerized by her sparkling eyes and her pink, parted lips. They make me want to touch her in ways I’ve never thought of before. The closer I move, the more she shivers, and everything in this world disappears except us. I can’t take my mind off her and off what she does to me. She stirs something inside me, something I’ve never felt before, but I want it. I need it. I have to have it.
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