by Carly White
They both went to bed in their separate rooms and Grant knew that he had botched it all up. It was clear by the way she had gotten so quiet after their kiss. How she refused to go down to eat with him. Grant had messed it up good and he was still laying up hours later, wishing that he hadn’t been so quick to push her.
Chapter 5
“He still loves to eat though. He tells me all the time I cook just like you, though he has corrected the recipes a few times. Trust me Gran. He pays attention, even when you don’t think he is.”
Gran sat down. “Yes, well he was always reading everyone. I think he turned out just the way he was supposed to. I bet it burns his ass that his daughter is more like me than him. I know how much he was
Mara was restless ever since their kiss a bit before and she couldn’t face him for dinner. She wasn’t mad, but more fighting herself and the urge that she felt every time she was around Grant. Then to have him grab her and pull her to him in a such a way was devastating to her senses, as well as her resolve.
As she laid up, looking at the ceiling, wishing she could go to sleep. Mara knew that she needed more than just to talk to him. She needed what he had promised in his eyes every time he looked at her. Mara had almost thought that he would go to her after some time, but he never did. Instead it was her that got up in the middle of the night and made her way towards his room.
She tried to walk softly and not make any noise. Mara couldn’t hear anything over the pounding in her chest, but when she found his door unlock, it seemed like that was what was supposed to happen. It was fate, the two of them together.
Moving into the room, she found the man sleeping and wondered how he could not be as bothered as her. When she got closer, his eyes opened suddenly like he had sensed her. “What are you doing here Mara?”
She shrugged and started towards his bed. He didn’t move to get up, but sat up more fully as she got closer. Mara stopped at the footboard, not sure what to do next. His dark eyes were adjusting to the darkness and his view burned into hers before she knew what was happening. “I … I don’t know. I just thought you might need company as much as I do.”
Grant shook his head as he sat up straighter. “I don’t think it would be a good idea Mara. Things are complicated between us.”
Mara had to agree. It was rather a large understatement in truth. It wasn’t just a little complication, but a big one. “So you don’t think I am worth the complication Grant?”
Her hand was toying with the bottom of her shirt as she talked, her nails dragging across her exposed stomach ever so gently as he watched her movement. She was playing with him and even though he knew what she was doing, he really didn’t want her to stop.
“I am sure you are.” Grant swallowed hard, watching her hands toy with the buttons on her jeans.
“Do you want me to leave?”
He shook his head quickly, feeling a rise in his body as he watched her from across the room. Mara pushed her jeans down slowly, watching his reaction as her dark panties came into view. He growled at her from the mattress and the sound made her insides dampen. Did he know how good he sounded or how sexy his eyes were when he looked at her like that?
Mara watched a hard knot grow in between his legs under the sheet and she wondered what he was wearing to bed. Her hands moved to the bottom of her shirt and pulled up and over her head. She wasn’t wearing a bra and she heard the hard intake of breath as more of her body came into sight.
“Damn Mara.”
She tossed the shirt town and made a small giggle. The knot in between his legs was clearly defined and jerking just under the surface of the blanket. Her eyes were drawn to it and it made her smile to know that he was so turned on. Mara wasn’t the only one that had been waiting for more to develop between them.
Now that she was naked and he was looking at her like she was his next meal, Mara hesitated. “Don’t stop now Mara. Come here.”
His words spurred her on, but his eyes were hard to handle. If he could do half of what his dark depths suggested, than she knew she was in trouble. Before she got to him, really as soon as her knees touched the bed, Grant was yanking her to him. He was still sitting up and Mara was splayed on his chest, her thighs straddling his lap and instantly coming in contact with his own hard need underneath her. She gasped at the sudden pleasure.
“If you don’t want this, you have to tell me now.”
Mara looked down at where her fingers gripped his hard chest, the dark hairs tickling her fingertips. She shook her head that she did, not being able to come up with the words to say it out loud. Mara had come to have her way with him, but she had lost control before it even began. When his hands moved between their bodies, pulling her covering to the side, Mara cried out with the sudden penetration.
It was too much for her senses, too thick for her small body but her body started to stretch and accommodate his wide girth. Mara moaned his name out over and over again as he took her from below. She had no say in the matter, only able to barely handle the sensations he was creating in her body.
Mara didn’t go back to her own room that night. Instead, she woke up next to him. He was already up and watching her sleep. All she could do was smile shyly as he convinced her again that she needed more. He was like a drug, addicting to her senses and she needed more.
***
“What is going to happen now?”
Grant looked at Mara through the mirror in the bathroom. “What do you mean? After today, it’s over. The jury is going to deliberate and thanks to your dad, there is no way they are going to be able to convict me. Then it’s all over and we are both free.”
Mara tried to hide her disappointment. They had been together almost two weeks now and since the night that she had graced his bedroom, they had slept together. Mara didn’t want it to all be over and for things to go back to normal. Her life was more exciting with Grant, but it was becoming clear to her that he wasn’t worried about her or what happened after he got off. That was why she was there, but she was hoping there was more to it. That he cared about her like she did him. But in that moment, she realized how wrong she was.
“You’re right. We will both be free, that is a good thing.”
Grant didn’t hear the tone of her voice or the way she looked down when she said it. He was too worried about court and getting ready for it. She knew that it was silly of her to have ever thought that it could have been more. She was just a means to an end, but for a moment, she had thought that she was more.
She waited for the trial to end. It wasn’t hard to find out, the media blaring the acquittal before the defendant was even out of the court house. Mara knew it was time to leave and since it was all over, there was no need to say goodbye to him. She didn’t think she could stomach it anyways. Instead she took off back to her old house, waiting for her father to come home.
It was strange to be back in her old room. Everything looked different and Mara knew then that it would never be enough again. Her life there in Hartford was done and it was time for her to make her way in the world. She didn’t know what she was going to do, paint, write, but she was going to do something great. Mara just knew it. In losing her heart, she had found herself.
Chapter 6
After visiting with her Gran to bounce ideas off of her, Mara decided that she wanted to go traveling like she had suggested. When she had been with Grant, even for that short time, her horizon was opened and she didn’t want it to shrink back to Hartford size again. She knew that she had to go out and find her way. Her optimism was infectious and soon she had talked her friend into going with her as well. Kaila had a job at the diner and neither one of them really had much to leave behind.
The trip was what she needed. They went south for a time until they hit the Gulf of Mexico and the two girls stayed on the beach for almost a month. Mara’s dad kept asking her to come home, sure she was having some kind of crisis from trauma, but Grant had not traumatized her. It was the way she was living and Mara w
asn’t ready to go back.
Mara had no intention of going home for a while. She knew that Kaila was getting homesick, but it was only when she herself started to feel rotten that Mara even considered going back home. They had rented a vacation home in Myrtle Beach as the weather had warmed up down south, but now Mara was ready to go home. She didn’t know if it was all the travel or the convenience food on the way, but her stomach was always having issues and she was always tired.
Kaila agreed, ready to go home herself, not quite aware of how much she missed the familiar routine. Kaila offered to drive most of the way home when they finally decided that it was time to go back. Mara was home a couple of days before her dad urged her to go to the doctor, so much that it became impossible to deny his reasoning.
She went and then heard the two words that she wasn’t expecting to hear for a long time. It wasn’t a bug or a flu, but that she was pregnant. Her mind instantly went to the father that she hadn’t heard from in several months. It made sense though. She always seemed hungry, yet spent half the day wanting to be sick. There was a tenderness in her breasts and when she looked again, they were getting bigger. Mara was referred to an Obstetrician and waited for the date with her nerves rankled.
She made it, waiting for the doctor and her first appointment concluded that the test at the emergency room were right, she was pregnant. At almost four month along, her morning sickness was gone, but she still hadn’t added much to her middle. A small bump was easy to hide with clothing and Mara still hadn’t told her dad about it. It wouldn’t take his mind long to deduce where she was when she conceived and then he would know her secret. Not that she had been taking advantage of, but gave herself willingly to a biker like Grant.
When she was on her way out, Mara stopped in the parking garage suddenly. She was having a moment of deja vu, feeling like she had right before she was taken outside of Gran’s nursing home. Mara turned around suddenly and saw Lance coming towards her. “No, I am not doing this again.”
Lance grinned. “Nothing like that Mara. The boss just wants to talk to you and he can’t really go to you.”
She was back living with her father for the time being and there was no way he could go there. Mara had changed phones on her trip, but Grant had never called that she knew of. Why was he so interested all of a sudden?”
“Tell him I will see him this evening.”
“You’re done here, how about now?”
She was not given the idea that she really had a choice. There was no choice but to do what he told her to do. Looking over at her car, she asked if she could take her own vehicle and he just shook his head. “I will bring you back if that is what you want.”
Mara didn’t have much choice but to hear Grant out. She wasn’t even sure why after all that time he even wanted to talk to her. What could he possibly want? Mara was sure that he had moved on. Grant didn’t seem like the type of man to bother more than once with a woman.
“Fine Lance, but I really am not going to want to stay so if you can keep the car running that will be great.”
Lance just kind of chuckled to himself. Whether she knew it or not, Grant had been going crazy without her. It was the only time that he had seen his friend forgo pleasure with another woman. He had been waiting for Mara and when she disappeared, he had a hard time of it. Now that she was back, Lance knew that his boss wasn’t going to let her go again. Grant always got what he wanted and it seemed clear to everyone but her, that it was her that Grant wanted. He was not interested in other girls anymore, Lance knew that Grant loved the woman.
“We will see, but I will bring you back like I promised whenever you are ready.”
She would have gone either way. Him requesting her was not something she would have seen him doing and it made her wonder what it was that he wanted. Did he miss her as much as she missed him? She shook her head of those thoughts, knowing that it couldn’t be that. Sitting in the back seat, she watched the country and small towns turn into the city. Lance was taking her right back to where it had all happened, where she had stayed for so long with Grant. It was in those days that everything had changed for Mara and as she looked up at the house, she was filled with mix feelings.
Lance got out first and opened the door for her to get out. “Thanks Lance. How is Carla?”
“She’s good. Get to see her now more that she is about to give birth.”
He looked down at her significantly, his eyes falling to her mini bump. But where he had found her, it was clear that she had something underneath her shirt. “Congratulations. I am sure you will be great at it.”
“I hope so.” Lance expected her to say something more. They had become close with their time together. Mara had helped his marriage, talking him through some issues that him and Sandra had. Lance in a way wanted to help her, as well as his boss. The two should be together and after looking for her for months, Lance was glad to be able to bring her back. “It’s been quiet without you here.”
She smiled. “I bet.” Mara’s face turned a little pink and she wondered if the loud screams in the night were what he was referring to. There were several times that all she could do was bury her face in a pillow and still she knew that she could be heard. Grant had always loved to hear his name moaned as she came, making sure to illicit that reaction many times. She shivered and looked down, needing to pull herself together before she went and saw Grant.
“You okay?” Lance looked at her with a little worry.
“Yeah I am fine. I just, this place brings back a lot of memories.”
“Good or bad?”
“A little of both, but isn’t that the way?”
He nodded and she started to follow him up the large concrete staircase to the house. She was nervous and when all she could think about was his hands on her, Mara worried that she would jump on him when she saw him finally. Her hormones were already all over the place and Grant was the type of man that she couldn’t forget.
“Are you sure you are okay?”
“Yeah Lance. Where is he?”
“Grant is in the den. I will leave you two to it.”
She thanked him and started to tremble inside. Her hormones really were on overdrive and all she could think about was what was going to happen. Would he be as happy to see her as she was to see him all of a sudden? Moreover, what was going to happen when he found out that she was pregnant?
The questions swirled in her mind as she made her way to the back den that went outside. She remembered every inch of the house, spending so much time there while the trial was going on. Mara missed the place. It was somehow like going home.
When she walked into the den, the room was pretty dark and she didn’t see him in the corner right away. “Mara, you are looking good as always.”
She turned towards his voice her eyes trying to adjust to the lack of light. “Thanks. Why is it so dark in here?” Mara went to turn the light on, the desk lamp right next to him. His hand shot out and stopped her.
“Don’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t want the blaring light in my eyes.”
His voice sounded strained and Mara could tell something is wrong. “So is my dad prosecuting someone else that you know? Is that why I am here?”
Grant’s face showed that he didn’t find her comment very funny, but the silence between them as she stood over his seated form made her anxious. Even in the darkness, she could feel his eyes on her. Mara opened her mouth to say something else but he said something instead, breaking the silence between them.
“When were you going to tell me you are pregnant?”
Chapter 7
Mara’s face showed the shock of the suddenness of the conversation. It was not going how it had played out in her head. She had not had time to coax him into a better mood. Grant was frightful when he was angry and she had planned for them to talk a while, but she should have known better. Lance had picked her up at her OB appointment after all. The comment he had made e
arlier, made more sense to her then.
“You, speechless? I never thought I would see the day Mara.”
“Well what do you want me to say? I just found out a couple of weeks ago. I came back into town and went to the doctors, thinking I was sick and I wasn’t. I am pregnant.”
His dark eyes bore into her and she wished that she could melt into the floor. It was hard to hold his gaze when he was looking at her in that way. “How far along are you?”
“Why don’t you ask the question you really want to know Grant? I mean, I am here. You went and got Lance to drag me all the way down here, so what is it you really want to know?”
Mara was getting angry with him again. He was treating her as if she was the bad guy and she’d had enough. “I want to know if it’s mine.”
Her head nodded before she got the words out and she made sure she was looking in his eyes then. She waited for a reaction, but all she saw was something akin to relief. “I would have accepted if it was someone else’s, but I really hoped it would be mine.”
Mara didn’t really think she had heard him right. It was too perfect. Too much what she desperately wanted him to say. “What do you mean you would have accepted it?”
“If you were pregnant by someone else. I would have hated it, but still would have had to have you.”
“Have me? What am I, a prize all of a sudden?”
Lance moved quickly, pulling her down to his lap. His breath was in her ear and she shivered against him. She didn’t realize how much she had missed his arms, until that very moment. “Yes, you and the baby. You are mine now.”
She squirmed in his lap and turned her head to look at him. “You can’t just have me. I get a say in this you know.”
Grant shook his head. “You will give it or I will take it.”
His mouth moved to hers and she kissed him for a moment, melting against him before she pulled away. He was playing with her and her hormones already had her on edge.