by Carly White
It was the only answer I could give him. A nurse came in to give him some more pain reliever in his IV. “Well looks like it’s off to lala land for you. I hope you feel better soon Billy.”
“Come back and see me later?”
“I will try.”
I left feeling strange. It was like an alternate universe where a guy like Billy wanted to talk to a girl like me. Why did he want me to come see him later? What in the world would we have to talk about anyways?
I tried to shake it off, but I couldn’t help the smile that ran over my lips. Maybe it was the drugs or a fluke, but I liked that he knew my name. I wouldn’t have thought that he would have. But there was no time for worrying about it though, I had many patients and since it was Friday night, I started to wonder if there was a full moon outside. Every time there was, it seemed like all the crazies came out.
There was a mix of people waiting in the ER and it was Rita and Selene for nurses that night. Rita was in her usual grumpy mood, so I took some of her chores away to make it a little easier. She was going through a break up and was having a rough go of it. Her way of dealing was getting angry and I ended up giving her a chance for a break. Dr. Rhodes was on call and he was fine with it, so I went with him to attend some of the patients.
It was almost 2 in the morning when I stopped by Billy’s room. “Hey Deidra, I thought you were going to come see me?”
I moved into the room. “Sorry I was busy. I figured you would be sleeping by now.”
“No my sleep is messed up and now I am up. Can you come talk for a while?”
“Sure. I haven’t seen Leslie today. Did she come by and see you?”
“No, me and her broke up.”
There was a hint of bitterness in his voice and I wanted to ask him what happened, but it was apparently a sore subject for him. “Well I am sure they are lining up for you as soon as you get out of here.”
“Doubt it. Most of them want to be WAGS, they aren’t worried about me now.”
“Well there loss, your gorgeous.”
I closed my eyes for a second. Why the hell had I just said that? He sat up straighter in the hospital bed. “Is that what you think?”
I couldn’t meet his gaze and went about cleaning up his room and straightening anything that I could to not have to make eye contact with him. “Billy don’t play dumb. You know that you are hot.”
“Yea, but not from a girl like you.”
“A girl like me?” Why do I ask questions about things that I really don’t want to know about?
“You know, a smart girl. Leslie is dumb as rocks you know.”
“Then why did you date her.”
He gave me an incredulous look. “Oh right, big boobs and blonde hair.”
“Yours are bigger.” His eyes were on the very thing he had been talking about.
“Let’s check that your drip isn’t going too fast.”
“They are and you know hers are fake?”
If it wasn’t such a strange conversation, I would have laughed. He was acting like he was on truth serum or something and the way that he was looking at me, made me breathe a little faster. “I don’t think you should go around telling everyone that.”
“Why? She dumped me because I got hurt. She can’t see herself with a cripple.”
“You are going to be fine. You’re not going to be crippled. Just wait a week or two and it will be healing fine. Six to eight weeks and you will be back to normal.”
I could tell he didn’t believe me and he seemed upset. Moving towards him, I sat down on the side of the bed with his uninjured leg. “You can’t let yourself get down over this. You will be just as great as you always were, just wait and see.”
His hand moved to mine and he squeezed it. There was a moment of vulnerability in his eyes that made my heart melt. I squeezed his hand back and our eyes met. Not for long because I was afraid he would see what he did to me. “Thanks Deidra. I should have been dating girls like you a long time ago.”
I kind of laughed. “That would go against the cosmos Billy.”
“Why is that?”
“Because look at us.”
He didn’t seem to see what I was talking about, but that just made him clueless. Surely he understood the hierarchy in school. “You sell yourself short, you are pretty hot yourself.”
I moved to get up. It had become awkward and I really did think that his drip was too fast. “Where are you going?”
“I’m going to have someone check on your dose.”
He pulled me back to him. His strength was surprising considering that he was hurt, but his large arms did not seem affected. God, he was huge. I didn’t realize it until his hand covered half of my forearm, how big he really was. I had never been that close to him before. “My dose is fine. I want a kiss before you go.”
I wasn’t sure what to say, but I was taken aback by his words. “I don’t think that is wise. I am not supposed to fraternize with patients.”
“Just one little kiss?”
I wanted to, but I knew that it was a fluke and he probably wouldn’t remember it later. That idea had me moving forward, leaning down to kiss him. If he wouldn’t remember, than it didn’t really matter, right? This is what I told myself anyways. What I wasn’t prepared for though, was how it made me feel.
Our lips touched briefly and I was surprised at how warm he was, how soft his lips were against mine. I tried to pull away, but he held me against him with his strong arm. His tongue pushed in through my lips and I heard myself moan against him. The sound made him groan and kiss me deeper. My insides melted against him and instead of pulling away, I let him ravage my mouth. I had never had a kiss that made me feel so alive and though he wouldn’t remember it, I sure would.
“Deidra?”
Shit. I heard her voice, recognizing it as Rita’s. He finally let me go and our eyes met for a moment. He was breathing a little faster, matching my rapid heartrate. “I got to go Billy. Get some sleep. Things will look better tomorrow.”
I left the room, almost running away, avoiding her eyes. “Are we really going to act like that didn’t happen?”
“Please?”
She kind of chuckled and shook her head. Your secret is safe with me.”
Chapter 3
I had the next day off and I needed it after the crazy night before. I only had two classes on Monday and I was glad for the evening off. Melissa was going out again and she tried to talk me into going to a local pub. I almost said no out of habit, but decided that I needed to get out. After my run in with Billy, I was feeling my needs more. It was only so long that I could pretend that I didn’t want to be kissed like he had kissed me and hear the words that he had spoken.
“Sure, but not for too long, just a little while.”
“Really? Well damn Deidra, I didn’t think you were ever going to say yes. There is something different about you today.”
I shrugged. “No I just haven’t had a day off in a long time, so it would be nice to let loose.”
She looked at me a little skeptical. I was not known for letting loose, but a girl could start, right?
I found something to wear and then changed when she told me I looked like a librarian. “It’s this or jeans.”
“Here, I got something that I think will fit you. It’s just those damn boobs, but it’s stretchy so it should cover them behemoths.”
She was always making comments about them. When we had first found each other on a roommate site at school, her comments had made me wonder if she was lesbian, but I soon realized that was just the way she was. She had no filter and it was kind of nice sometimes because you knew that she was telling the truth. I doubted that Melissa knew how to lie.
Coming back out with a short red dress, I was the one looking skeptical. It was really short and the top was really low once I put it one. It barely covered my ass and I wasn’t so sure about it. “Are you sure this looks okay?”
“If I were gay, I would do you.”
/> That was her seal of approval and I couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Good to know.”
***
I tried to have a good time, I really did, but it was a bar like every other one. Since it was already getting late when we got there, the place was turned up, as well as everyone in the place. After a few drinks I was feeling good, but the dress was creating a problem. It was too sexy and I wasn’t used to the attention I was getting.
Melissa had convinced me to let her do my hair and makeup. The hair wasn’t bad, it was down to my back and getting a little poofy from the teasing, but the makeup was way too dark. In truth I felt like a harlot and it came as no surprise that I was treated like one. Dancing with a few guys, I got more action on the dance floor than I had had all month. One man in particular was trying to grind up on me and I had to go to the bathroom to get away from him. I looked for Melissa, but she was busy working on her next footballer.
My phone rang while I was trying to wipe some of the makeup off and smooth my hair down. It didn’t even look like me in the mirror.
“Hello?”
“Deidra?”
“Yes, who is this?”
I pulled the phone back to look at the number and I didn’t recognize it.”
“It’s Billy. Why didn’t you come see me today?”
“Because I have the night off.”
The door opened and the music blasted in from the main area. “Where are you?”
“O’Malleys.”
“I thought all you did was work and study?”
“I have occasions where I go out. This is college after all.”
There was a silence on the other side of the phone and I looked again at the display to see if he had hung up. “So what are you doing?”
“I’m about to leave.”
“Will you come see me?”
I detected a note of not desperation, but something akin to it in a different form. He was lonely. “Visiting hours end at eight Billy.”
“Come on, you know they won’t care.”
“Sure, but just for a bit. I will swing by there on my way home.”
“Thanks.”
“Okay, see you in a bit.”
Now, I know many may think that I did it for him and in a way I was, but there was another reason as well. I still couldn’t get that kiss out of my mind. He had awakened something in me that had been laid dormant as I pushed everything but my studies aside. I needed something more.
***
To say it was strange to walk into work as I was would be an understatement. Dr. Rhodes didn’t even recognize me and he stopped me in the hall. “Miss? Are you here to see someone?”
I turned around and gave him a look. “I am here to see a patient.”
“Deidra?”
The look of shock was unsettling and then there was a leap of desire in his dark green eyes. “I would have never guessed…”
He didn’t finish and I wondered what it was that he was going to say. “Go ahead.”
His eyes took in my curves and I had to fight the urge to pull up the dress to cover my chest. If I did though, it would make it too short. There just wasn’t enough material, so I walked away down the hall instead. His reaction made me wonder if I should be there at all. What would Billy say, especially after the way he had kissed me? I almost turned around, changing my mind as I got closer to his room.
“Deidra, what are you doing here? Don’t you spend enough time here as it is?”
Rita was coming from the other hallway. “Just here to say hi to someone.”
“I bet.”
She made me blush a little and I knew that she had caught me yesterday kissing the very patient I was about to go see. We were outside of his room and there was no way for me to back out now. He knew I was there. Rita winked and walked down the hallway and I don’t know why, but I could feel my cheeks getting warm. I shouldn’t be there, but it was too late to leave now.
I looked down at the dress and wasn’t sure which way to pull it. I was nervous about what he would say, though in the back of my head I was kind of happy about it. If his reaction was anything like Dr. Rhodes had been, than it would be worth it to have worn it.
Walking into the room after a minute, I said hello to Billy as nonchalant as possible. His eyes changed like the doctor’s did and I have to say, it made me even wetter inside. We didn’t speak for a moment, my eyes avoiding his after the change in his dark gaze made them look black. I was not too naïve to know what he was thinking about. He was thinking about the same thing that I was and I looked away, afraid that I was as transparent as he was.
“So are you feeling any better today?”
I looked at his drip and it had slowed down and he was without his morphine. That meant that he was feeling better. When I looked back at him, his eyes were on the tight dress hugging my full curves. I could feel the heat of his gaze on my derriere and I turned towards him to take away the view.
“Wow Deidra. I knew that you were hot, but wow. Why do you wear all those baggy clothes in class?”
“Because they are comfortable.”
“I know, but damn. You should show off a little bit more. You are beautiful.”
I laughed, waving my hand like he was being silly. He patted the bed next to him. “Here, sit down.”
Instead I pulled up a chair. There was no way that I was going that close to him again. I had learned my lesson from the last time. Today though, there was less between me and him. Not to mention that I was raring to go from one little kiss.
He frowned at me a little, so I crossed my legs, letting the dress rise dangerously high on my legs. That seemed to distract him enough. “So have the doctors told you anything?”
“No.”
“You aren’t getting morphine anymore, so you are feeling less pain?”
“Uh huh.’
“Are you feeling better than?”
He just nodded his head. “I thought you wanted to talk?”
“I can’t talk to you like this.”
“Why?”
“Look at you. Do you even know what you do to men like that?”
“Yes, unfortunately I do.”
“Did you have problem at O’Malley’s?”
“Nothing I couldn’t handle.”
“It’s that dress and what’s in the dress. Yours are definitely bigger.”
I looked down at the cleavage spilling forth from the low-cut top and I sighed. “And this is why I don’t wear stuff like this. Too much of a distraction.”
He shook his head as if he was clearing his mind. “Yes it is distracting.”
We sat there silently for a few minutes and then I asked him if he knew when they were going to release him.”
“Couple of days if there isn’t any infection.”
“Do you mind if I look at it?”
“Sure go ahead.”
I needed to get my mind off of his attention on me. It was driving me a little crazy and I didn’t want to embarrass myself further. Getting up, I walked over to the other side of the bed and moved the sheet that was covering him. It didn’t look red or swollen and that made me happy. It didn’t look like it was infecting.
I stood up quickly when I felt his hands started up one of my legs. I was not expecting it and he got almost to my upper thighs before I moved away. Recovering his leg, I sat back down on the chair. “You are a tease, you know that?”
“Hardly Billy. I was just here to see how you were. Would you have rather me went and changed first?”
“No, then I wouldn’t have known what you were hiding.”
“So you know, now what?”
“Come here and I will show you.”
I kind of laughed a little. “Billy, you are in a hospital bed with mending bones. I don’t think you are able to show me anything”
“Ye of little faith.”
He patted the bed again and I was almost tempted to go to him, but I knew that I shouldn’t. I knew that if I did, there would be no coming
back from that. I had had feelings for Billy for a while and the very idea of him touching me or kissing me again was too much to risk.
“I think I will stay here. So have you thought about when you are going to go to school again? I can bring you your homework so you don’t get behind.”
“There are a couple freshmen that are going to take care of it for me.”
“Of course.” I should have known that, but he was too smart to be just a dumb jock. “What is your major anyways?”
“Business. I want something to fall back on if, this happened.” He waved his hand towards his leg.”
“It won’t be the end of it. I have a feeling that everything is going to work out for you.”
“And why is that?”
“Because you are a golden boy and that is just how it works for you guys.”
He stopped for a second, looking at me strangely. “You know, I have ever met anyone like you before.”
“Well I have an IQ over 80, so that probably has something to do with it.”
“The women I date aren’t that bad.”
“Leslie?”
He sighed. “I don’t know what that was. She’s easy and did whatever I said.”
“Oh, you are one of those bossy men huh?”
“I wouldn’t say bossy.”
“Than what would you say?”
“I am commanding.”
I nodded. He was that. When he had asked me to sit down, it had been harder than I could have imagined it would be to say no. His dark eyes looked at me like I should do as he said and so help me, I wanted to. But I had to be the voice of reason. “Well some girls are into that I guess.”
“All girls like a man to take control.”
Chapter 4
I escaped the hospital without being molested, but his words rattled around in my head. Surely that couldn’t be true? I certainly didn’t want to be controlled, but the thought of his hands on me, I wondered if I could deny a man like Billy. We shouldn’t even be talking, let alone him lusting after me. It was just weird to have such a man looking at me in such a way. Would I do anything he told me to? Would I like being controlled?
I couldn’t think of a time that it was possible, but with Billy, it could be. He was just so handsome and ruggedly manly that my heart skipped a beat. I didn’t sleep well that night and when I did, all I could think about was Billy. My dreams were filled with his sandy brown hair and those dark eyes that seemed to look right into my soul. Could I say no to him? It was certainly a lot easier when he was bed bound, for that I was sure. If he had been able to touch me again, like he had the day before, I doubt I would have had the strength to say no.