“We’ll sort it, darling. Don’t worry.” He kissed her nose and led her out to the car, not sure how but knowing he could make this work, somehow. He just had to figure out who to call first.
They spent their final week in bed, in the water, watching the stars shine, and the sun come up together. They danced to the music coming from other villas around them, they danced at a bar he took her too, and they danced at the beach, before falling together in the darkness.
Mary began to plan her return, even though they’d agreed to wait to talk about it all. Ben had rubbed off on her as much as she’d rubbed off on him. She’d noticed he’d begun to loosen up; he wasn’t so regimented or controlled now. Heck, he’d even left a picture totally sideways at one of the restaurants they’d visited this week. It had bugged even her but he’d totally ignored it, even when she’d gone to wash up. She’d come out expecting to find it sorted but he’d left it.
She’d smiled to herself and went back to their table, kissing him softly before sitting down.
“You’ve changed, do you know that?” Her eyes gleamed when she smiled.
“I don’t know what you mean. None of your American rubbish has rubbed off on me. I’m British, we don’t change, madam.” He held his head in such a way that implied he was offended but she knew better.
“Oh, I forgot, you’re impervious to our ways aren’t you? So superior. I hope it doesn’t rain when we get outside.” She gave him a raised eyebrow and a smirk.
“And why’s that?” His handsome face told her he knew but he was playing along.
“Well, it would be shame for you to drown. You know, that nose of yours stuck up in the air like that could be problematic. Is it hard to breathe that way?” She teased him some more and he scowled playfully.
“I’ll show you drowning later, young lady. For now, let’s get home. Your mother will be home in an hour and you need a spanking.” He paid the waiter and they left, their arms locked.
“Spanking? I’ll break your hands first, buddy!” She glared up at him but softened it with a kiss.
“I think you’ll be begging me for more!” He closed the door to the car before he began a loud panting sound. “Oh Ben! Oh Ben, take me big Daddy, oh yes, take me, take me! Isn’t that how it goes?”
He turned to her with a totally serious look and for a moment she was too shocked to respond. Was he serious? He looked serious. Then he laughed and pulled her close. “That was too easy. Come on, I want your thighs around my ears, I don’t want to spank you.”
She pushed him away but laughed as he pulled onto the street. She was going to miss this. She sobered for a moment. Just one more day left. They were leaving early in the morning, a little over 24 hours from now. She turned to Ben, reality finally setting in.
“Are we sorting it, love?” Her eyes pleaded with him to give her an answer.
“Well, if you don’t mind coming here you can come back in a few weeks, maybe six to eight. But I need to get some papers sorted and it’s Portugal.”
Mary turned to him and they both laughed as they spoke in unison. “Amanhã!”
The Portuguese word for tomorrow. Mary knew that if it was meant to be it would be. There was no use in fighting what couldn’t be fought.
That night their lovemaking was frantic, a primal thing fueled by despair. It was sad, joyous, and left them both too stunned to sleep. Was it real? There were doubts, there were worries, but most of all, there was love and that was too precious to throw away. But could Mary handle leaving everything she knew for a place that was already showing its flaws? Could she live in a place where everything was so very different? It was a lot to think about, something for another time. Now they needed more of each other. They turned to each other and began again.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Ben felt his heart break as Mary and Lillian disappeared into the airport the next day. Tears filled his eyes and he swiped at them as he waved one final time. She was taking his heart back to America with her. He didn’t think he could let her. He had to fight the urge to run in and see if any flights were available. He could do his job anywhere, he had no real ties in Portugal, no family and no obligations. He could do it.
But he turned and walked away as Mary finally disappeared into the security clearance zone. They’d spent as much time as possible together, he had her contact details and she had his. It wouldn’t be forever. He scuffed his feet as he walked back to his car, his entire body deflated. The normally tall, proud man was a shadow, he almost appeared to be 50 years older he’d sunk so far into himself.
Tenants came and went in the apartments. Some were fun, others irritating, some were attractive, but none had changed his life as much as Lillian and Mary. He knew being at home was going to be the hard part so he bought a bottle of wine and went to the beach, waiting for the planes to fly overhead. He knew what time Mary’s flight left.
Two planes flew overhead at the correct time, one coming in and one leaving. He waved the two beautiful women away, raised his glass one last time, and fell back to the sand, under the umbrella he’d pulled out of the car. Putting the cork back in the bottle, he decided he couldn’t put it off anymore. It was time to head back to the empty villa.
The silence at the villa was deafening and Ben quickly turned on his telly. He tried not to go to the barn but found his feet taking him there. He sat down, the bottle somehow in his hand once more. Sitting at the table he saw the wall where he’d made love to Mary, knew the bed would hold her scent. He knew his own would as well.
Slugging back more wine, Ben tried to tell himself it would ease, that he’d find a way to bring her back and that the pain would end. His lawyer was working on it now. He decided he needed more wine and went into his kitchen to search for some.
Mary watched the landscape of Portugal disappear, the sea full of jellyfish, and wondered when she’d see that coastline again. They had stops in Munich, one in New York, and another in Charlotte. It was going to be a long day and her mother was already doing her head in. She scoffed to herself, doing her head in, a term she’d picked up from Ben.
She ordered a glass of wine as soon as the flight attendant started passing them out. Taking a deep gulp, she wished she’d ordered something stronger. This tasted of the cardboard it came in. Setting the too-dry beverage aside, she decided to try for watching a movie on her tablet. Her mother had the window seat and Mary couldn’t see much of the view outside of the plane.
Mary knew she was trying to distract herself and the effort didn’t work. She missed him already and she’d had to hide her own tears more than once. Lillian had shed them the moment Ben disappeared from view and she’d held her daughter’s hand.
“I’m so sorry we have to leave him, darling. I’ll see what your father and I can do once we get home. Have you decided on where you’re going?”
“No, we haven’t decided if he’s coming to me or me going to him. It’s easier and quicker for me to go there. He’s missing some papers and it depends on how long that will take to sort out.” Mary had looked away, another instance of tears making her hide.
“We’ll get it done, honey. I promise.” Mary knew there wasn’t much her mother could do but knew she’d do what she could. Her mother had made a promise, she’d keep it.
Going back to West Virginia after being gone so long was eye-opening for both women.
As they drove up the winding mountain road to get to their town they both looked at the area with new eyes.
“How long has that house been collapsed, Mary? That’s new isn’t it?” Lillian was pointing out a house that everyone knew because it was painted a bright orange and green. You couldn’t miss it sticking out of the side of the mountain.
“That’s been down for years now, Lillian!” Walter said from the driver’s seat.
Mary looked at him, shocked. “You’re joking! Has it really?”
“I guess you get used to seeing something and don’t notice changes after a while.” Mary heard something in her father’s vo
ice and looked at him closely.
He was looking at her mother as though he’d never seen her before as they sat at a stop sign, waiting for a load of coal trucks to get out of their way.
“I sure have missed you, Lillian. I’m so glad you’re home.” Lillian had been looking out of the window and now she turned to her husband. She had the same look.
“I won’t lie, sweetheart. I loved it over there. I’d go back right now if I could. But I wouldn’t want to go back without you. Never again. I kept turning to you, wanting to point something out to you and you just weren’t there. I hated that part.”
Mary was shocked, her mother hadn’t told her any of that. She’d even begun to wonder if her mother was considering a divorce she’d been so carefree and happy. She’d worried over it but now she knew her mother had truly missed her father and had been filling her time until she came home to her husband.
“You guys are going to make me cry again and I’ve cried enough today!” Mary was exhausted but she could feel her eyes stinging once more.
Going back to her old home, the home she’d shared with her parents her entire life, was odd to Mary. It was the same but somehow everything had changed. She kept looking around as the weeks passed, trying to figure out what was so different about the room. She even went so far as to ask her father what he’d done to it, but he’d not stepped foot in it since she’d left. She finally realized, after talking with Ben one night on Skype, that it was her that had changed, not the room.
Mary looked at herself in the mirror on her dresser and realized she looked the same but her whole worldview had changed. People were just people, no matter where they were. There wasn’t anything truly exotic about the places or the people in them, it was just that they were different. Fascinatingly different, but not so different that they were somehow not as good as being from the other place.
Something else had changed and Mary knew it for certain when she woke one morning and had to run straight for the toilet. Retching her guts up, Mary mewled, knowing what the sickness meant. So did her mother.
A knock came at her bathroom door and with a weak voice Mary replied, “What, Mom?”
“I guess you barely had the strength for that. I also guess you brought something more than a stolen heart back with you, didn’t you?” Lillian’s voice sounded pleased but concerned.
“Will you take me to see Doc Baker later, Mom?” Mary’s voice quavered.
“I sure will. When are you going to tell Ben?”
“I don’t know.” Mary pushed her hair out of her face, trying to stop the room spinning.
“Well, he’ll figure it out sooner or later. You’re going to have to stop playing around, my love, and make a decision.”
“Why are you so calm about this?” Mary’s voice broke off as she dived for the toilet once more.
Lillian paused, waiting until the sounds stopped. “You done?”
“I think so. Now, why are you so calm? I’m pregnant for fuck’s sake!” Mary was panicking, knowing it had to be true, test or no test.
“It’s my grandchild, I don’t have to stay up in the night with it,” Lillian cackled as Mary opened the door and glared at her.
“You might have to if I run away from home!” She stuck her tongue out now that she’d brushed her teeth and washed her face.
“I don’t think I’d mind. I told you Ben would make pretty babies. I’d bet on it!” Lillian held her daughter’s hand. “Now when are you going to tell him?”
“Soon, Mom, soon. Let’s go see the Doc first.” Mary shuffled to her room to change and headed out to the doctor.
“Yep, you got a bun in that there oven of yours, Mary. Who’s the lucky father?” Doc Baker, Mary’s doctor her whole life, grinned at his favourite patient.
“It’s a long story. When will this sickness stop?” Mary held her hand over her rebelling tummy.
“It should ease by your second trimester, but sometimes it’s for the duration. Try decaffeinated tea and some toast, sweetie. That should help you settle. Maybe some saltine crackers if your blood pressure remains as good as it is now. I’ll see you back in a couple of weeks, alright?” The doctor had turned away, his white hair going in fifteen direction as usual as he sought out something he’d just put down. Finding his prescription pad he began scribbling words on a prescription pad.
“Why in a couple of weeks? I’m pregnant, not sick!”
“Here, this is for your prenatal vitamins, take them! Especially while you’re sick. You’ll need the supplements they provide. And you need to come back so I can check on you and the baby, make sure everything is okay. Hear me? You don’t skip your visits, young lady! I know you hate needles but this is not the time!” He shook his wrinkled finger at her and Mary supressed the urge to stick out her tongue. Doc Baker handed her a sticker of a cartoon dog and opened the door. “You be good, Mary, and come back for your check-ups!”
Mary nodded, staring down at the sticker the doc insisted on giving her, and stared at the doctor as he walked away. Yeah, she was home. With a bounce in her step Mary walked out to her waiting mother. With a nod, she confirmed the world truly had changed for far more than just her. The tears in both their eyes were tears of happiness and hope. This was truly life-changing.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Six Months Later
Ben stared at himself in the mirror over his sink in the bathroom. For the first time in sixteen years he’d grown a beard and he needed a haircut. Running his hands through the scruff on his face, he decided that it was time to put this heartbreak away and do something about just how much he missed Mary.
He went downstairs to his living room and saw the mess he still hadn’t cleaned up. His frustration had grown and he and Mary were spending most of their time online together. His home had suffered and the landlord would have a fit if they saw the mess. Picking up a cup, he set it right back down and swore. Nope, he just didn’t care. He’d hire a maid or something.
Soon after Mary left he’d realized his passport was due to be renewed. He sent it in early thinking that would hurry the process up. It had become lost in the mail. The papers he’d filled out for a new one had also become lost. Three times. He’d considered going back to England for a moment but realized he couldn’t leave without a passport. Would immigration officers in Britain even let him back in? He’d heard horror stories from mates going back and forth. He’d finally made a call to his lawyer.
Yesterday his new passport hard arrived. The papers he needed to bring Mary over were also in the post. Now he could bring the woman he loved over. She’d been acting odd lately though. She hadn’t turned her camera on in months without a blanket over her or with the angle solely on her face. She’d seemed distant too, as though she weren’t well and she was preoccupied. She insisted she was fine but he knew something was on her mind and that someone who stayed that cold must be quite ill. He knew ill, he knew what being cold all the time meant. He’d gone through it all with his wife.
Surely Mary would tell him something serious like that, though? She wouldn’t just wither away. She wouldn’t do that to him, he just knew it.
He had the papers they’d been waiting on now. It was hardly shocking that it had taken this long. Bureaucracy at its finest, he muttered to himself, scratching at his beard. Time to make a decision, he couldn’t wait any longer, something was wrong with Mary, and she wasn’t telling him so he had to go to her obviously!
Going back to his computer he closed the article he’d been working on and opened the page of flights he stalked every day. He’d talked himself out of buying a ticket since the moment she’d left and he’d finally lost the battle. He could only go to the states for three months before he’d have to leave but it would be worth it. He could wait, apply for a visa and spend thousands for the privilege, but he decided to forego it for now. He just couldn’t stay in Portugal a moment longer. Pulling out his debit card, he started typing.
Mary went through the first trimester of he
r pregnancy hacking her guts up in between checking her email and pretending she hadn’t spent the morning over the toilet when Ben wanted to hold a video call. They’d spent the last few months fighting for paperwork, waiting, twiddling their thumbs, and Mary tried to creatively hide her growing breasts and stomach. She didn’t gain much weight but her breasts and stomach swelled until she thought she was going to pop.
Now, she had two weeks left, according to the Ob/Gyn Doc Baker sent her to. The doctor was on standby, just in case, and Mary’s parents wouldn’t leave her on her own. Everything was ready in her room for the baby, she had clothes, diapers, toys, everything the baby would need. Now she just needed Ben. She was going to tell him two days ago, his papers were due, but nothing came from Ben.
They’d paced, they’d waited, they’d cried during their separation, but now it was almost over. But where had Ben disappeared to? It worried her, had her mother said something? Her mother denied any involvement but still there was no Ben! An ache low in her groin made her wince and stop as she waddled into the kitchen, starting breakfast for her parents. These Braxton-Hicks contractions were a pain in the butt.
Mary waited for the false contraction to pass then went back to pondering. Maybe he’d finally grown tired of waiting and had decided to pan it all. It was easy to swear loyalty and undying love over the internet. Maybe Ben wasn’t cut out for long distance relationships.
She hadn’t told him about the baby yet because she wanted him to make a decision for her, not out of some old ideas about chivalry and providing. She was going to definitely tell him but only after they’d decided what they were going to do. And after the papers arrived. Not before, not when he couldn’t even come over to see her if he didn’t run away as fast as he could. She had faith in Ben, she knew he’d take care of his child even if they weren’t together, but she didn’t want him pacing when he couldn’t get to her and she didn’t want him to come solely because of the baby. Now he’d just disappeared. Maybe his internet was out? Or another power cut? Maybe he really had grown sick of it all. International romances weren’t easy.
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