She opened her trench coat, and Leah burst out laughing. “Kinker Bell! You haven’t worn that in a while.” She hugged June again. “See, this is the kind of stuff I mean. We’re laughing. We’re having fun. And that’s what he wanted us to do.”
“I guess you’re right.” June looked around. “Kade, if you’re still here, buddy, feel free to say hi tonight. Just…not while I’m in the bathroom, huh?”
Leah laughed. “Right?” She reached for the door. “So what’s Mark’s costume? Or is he changing into something else?”
“Nope. He says that is his costume, and he’ll reveal his true identity during the contest.”
Leah snorted. “Okay, then.”
“Personally,” June said, “I think he’s going to be a smart-ass and say he’s a kinkster or something like that. I don’t think he brought anything else with him. You know him, he’s not real fond of costumes. Which is really weird, because he was a drama minor in college. He’ll play Santa, because that’s different, but…” She shrugged. “Look what a hard time I had talking him into a suit for the photo-shoot for Cali.”
“Well, he is a Dom,” Leah pointed out.
“Yeah, but he’s also just plain stubborn.”
“Still fits,” Leah said with a smile.
Chapter Seven
It was still really early when June and Leah were standing in the living room, talking, when the doorbell rang.
Leah walked over to answer it and June knew Leah did a damn sight better job at masking her shock to find Kel and Mallory standing there on their front stoop.
“Oh, my god, you guys made it!” Leah hugged Kel first as June hurried over.
Mal hung back behind her husband, and if June hadn’t known it was her…
Yeah.
It broke her heart.
Before everything happened, Mallory had been a gorgeous young woman, with beautiful, full curves in all the right places. Some of the pictures Kel had taken of her for some of their private scenes were absolutely breathtaking.
But after her miscarriage…
June didn’t know all the details, and most of the ones she did know came from Mal’s best friend, Chelbie. Mallory’s parents had died when she was young, and she’d been raised by an aunt and uncle.
The uncle who, it turned out, had been sponging off her and trying to control her.
Before, Mallory had been around a hundred and sixty-five pounds, maybe, on her five-six frame.
June knew at her worst, she’d dropped to only one hundred and two.
Now, she didn’t look like she weighed much more than that, practically a skeleton, with deep hollows in her cheeks and dark lines under her sad blue eyes that not even makeup could conceal.
When Kel finished hugging Leah, June stepped in for a hug from him, and heard his whispered, “No hugs.”
She knew what he meant—don’t ask to hug Mal.
Hell, June was terrified to look at her too hard for fear of hurting her. Mal wore a tragic, frail air about her. She’d stopped coloring her hair, and instead of the pretty, brassy reddish color, it was now a limp, dull brownish hue. She wasn’t even thirty yet, but was already starting to get grey in her hair.
“I’m so glad you guys could make it,” June said, finally stepping back. “It’s great to see you. We miss you both so much.”
His smile looked tight, to June, not real. He might fool people who didn’t know him very well, but he wasn’t fooling her in the slightest.
June’s older sister, May, had spent some time talking to them, because she and her husband had gone through a miscarriage, too.
“We won’t be staying very late,” Kel said. “We’ve had a really long day and have to drive back to Tampa tomorrow morning. But Mal wanted to make sure we poked our heads in for a few minutes.”
June saw how he held his hand out to Mal, behind him, and Mal practically glued herself to him after taking it.
Okay, then.
Before, Mal had been not exactly the world’s most outgoing person, but with all of them she’d been friendly, free with hugs and laughter.
Tonight, the black jersey-knit maxi dress she wore hung off her, and not because of the cut. A black sweater, despite it being warm outside, hid her arms and shoulders, but June already knew what she’d see if Mal shed it.
She’d see every bone on her.
June had seen and counseled enough girls about proper diet and nutrition—and had to intervene plenty of times with girls who were verging into eating disorder territory—during her years coaching gymnastics.
She’d seen it all. Had even called in anonymous reports a few times to CFS when parents refused to heed her warnings about their daughter’s dangerous weight loss.
“Come on in and say hi, guys,” Leah said, grabbing June’s arm and leading the way. When June looked, she didn’t need a translation when Leah indicated with her eyes to go warn everyone not to hug Mal, then squeezed June’s arm before releasing her.
June hurried to do it while Leah paused with Mal and Kel in the living room, where Seth had emerged to join them.
June made the rounds, enlisting Shayla and Loren to help, so that by the time the couple made it out to the lanai, where the bulk of everyone had congregated to watch Scrye teaching Wade and Glen how to do a certain tie on their boy, Justin, everyone had been advised.
Mal said very little as they made their rounds, even to people she’d known for a few years. She clung to Kel’s arm and offered what looked like nearly painful smiles, and said little more than, “I’m fine, thanks,” when people asked how she was doing.
June immediately cornered Kel when Mal left his side to go use the bathroom.
“Short version?”
Now the mask he’d been wearing crumbled. “We’re trying an overnight,” he whispered. “She checked herself out against her doctors’ advice, and only because she promised me she wouldn’t fight me taking her back tomorrow, and that she’d eat what I told her to eat without fighting me about it or trying to throw it up later.”
“Back to the place in Tampa?”
He nodded. “They started her on new meds a couple of weeks ago, and they’re trying to stabilize the dose. This is actually her doing well right now. She’s gained three pounds in the past two weeks.”
June’s heart clenched at that news. “Holy fuck,” she muttered.
“I know. Tell me about it.” He ran his hands over his face. “It’s been…rough. And not just because of her weight, either. I—”
He cut himself off when Mal appeared in the doorway, his mask returning as surely as if he was wearing a costume, even though he was in jeans and a short-sleeved button-up shirt.
Mal immediately returned to his side, letting him fold her fragile body against his side as someone else walked up to talk.
June eased herself away from them and retreated to the safety and quiet of the office just off the dining room to regroup.
Leah and Loren followed her almost immediately, Leah closing the door behind them.
“Oh, my god!” Loren softly gasped. “What the fuck! Why the hell aren’t they helping her get better? Maybe he needs to find a different place to put her.”
“It’s not an easy fix,” June told her. Then she repeated what little she’d gleaned from Kel during their chat.
Leah sadly shook her head. “You realize we might lose her, right? Seth went over to the club last week to replace those bad outlets upstairs that keep tripping the breaker, and he saw Kel was over at his unit, so he stopped to say hi.”
“You didn’t tell us that!” Loren accused.
“I’ve been meaning to. I totally forgot. Kel told him they’re worried about the yo-yoing.”
June nodded. “It can trigger cardiac arrest.”
“That’s why they’re trying to stabilize her meds,” Leah said. “They’re hoping if they can treat the OCD portions, it’ll help her get a handle on her eating disorder. The place she’s in is one of the best in the Southeast.”
One of the first therapists they’d paired Mal with tried to convince her she was being abused and that the problem was Kel, and that Mal was “broken” for enjoying their consensual BDSM activities.
To say Kel had been enraged was an understatement. It’d set Mal’s treatment back by not just weeks, but months.
“Yeah, that was a misstep on the facility’s part, but she was already bad before this.” Leah rubbed her hands over her arms. “He’s really scared. Their insurance was about to hit the limit. Ed already talked to Lynn, and she contacted the facility and told them to send all the bills to Ed from now on.”
That brought tears to June’s eyes. “She did?”
Lynn was one of their friends in common—and she was there tonight with her husband and master, Paul. A writer, she’d literally hit the lottery and had made a huge donation to Venture for them to keep in reserve in case they ever needed it. She’d also championed some worthy causes, like getting another friend’s brother freed from prison by footing the bill for DNA testing that proved he was innocent of the crime he’d been convicted of.
“Yeah.” Leah slowly shook her head. “So…just be advised in case something…happens.”
“Fuck,” Loren said. “I was hoping she was improving. It’s been so long.”
“It takes what it takes,” June said. “I’ve seen it so many times.”
“Does Chelbie know how bad she is?” June asked.
“I don’t know.”
They heard a soft rap on the door. “Come in,” Leah said.
It was Cali and Shayla, both looking as shell-shocked as the rest of them felt.
They got them caught up before they had a group hug. “We need to get back out there,” June said. “This’ll look weird, all of us being in here at the same time.”
They left the office and rejoined the party. June struggled not to stare at Mal, but it was hard not to.
Logically, she knew going over to her and shaking her and asking her to fight for her life wasn’t going to work, and would, in fact, make things worse.
Still, she mentally played that scenario through her head a few times just to get it cleared out of there.
* * * *
Leah, unfortunately, had plenty of first-hand experience pasting a mask on for others’ benefits. It broke her heart watching Mallory trying to pretend in front of them. She’d almost prefer it if their friend would simply break down and let them hold and comfort her.
Except she also knew from her own personal experience that it wasn’t as simple as that. If it was, if all Mallory needed was their group’s collective love and support to buoy her, then Kaden would never have worried about her own safety in the wake of his death.
That could have been me.
Except she also knew her own situation and background had vastly differed from Mal’s. Leah’s had involved abuse and the foster system and more abuse, until she aged out and ended up on her own and met Kaden.
If it hadn’t been for Kaden, she didn’t know where her life might have led her.
And now, of course, she had Seth.
Leah watched as Kel and Mal settled onto one of the loungers on the lanai to watch the current suspension, Scrye still coaching Glen and Wade. Leah had suspended Justin several times in the past. He was fun to work with, and it was fun to watch what his two Doms did to him once he was helpless and flying.
Right now, Leah stood off to the side, behind Mal and Kel, and watched them. Mal lay cuddled against Kel, his arms around her, but…
Something just didn’t feel right, beyond the obvious. Like Mal was stiff and forcing herself to relax with Kel, not just the rest of them.
I hope they’re okay.
She’d seen Kel privately cry while with just a few of them, both over the loss of their baby and over his helplessness and frustration as Mal’s husband and Master to do anything to fix this for her.
That the man loved Mal with all his heart was not in doubt in Leah’s mind. Not for a moment.
Before their world imploded, Leah would have said that Mal felt just as crazy about Kel.
Then again, I could be reading stuff into this that isn’t there in the first place.
* * * *
Seth forced himself to focus on the suspension and not on Kel and Mal. He was supposed to be acting as a safety spotter for Scrye and the others, so that they could focus on the lesson and the rope.
Now Seth could see what Kel had meant the other day when they talked.
There were parts of their conversation that Seth hadn’t even told Leah, knowing Leah would still tell Loren, June, and others about it even if he asked her not to.
They couldn’t help it—they loved Kel and Mal and were friends.
The ache in the pit of his own stomach as Kel had cried in Seth’s arms. The strong man literally beyond his ability to cope. Trying to pretend to be strong for Mal’s sake, and yet terrified that he was going to lose the love of his life and feeling helpless to stop it.
Seth could relate. Totally. He’d felt that way watching Kaden slip away from them from the pancreatic cancer that killed him.
He’d done his best that day to try to help the man, give him his wisdom, but…
Yeah.
There were never any easy words, no trite sayings that could ever help.
Sometimes, all someone could do was just listen.
Kel had hit the point now where, despite the therapists telling him no, he didn’t cause this issue with Mal, he was wondering if maybe it was his fault somehow. If maybe he had harmed her without meaning to. If maybe he should completely end that part of their relationship to see if it would help her heal.
When he’d suggested it to Mal during a joint session with her main therapist, Mal had literally flown into a rage, and the therapist had to send Kel out early so she could talk with Mal alone.
That had been two weeks ago, and while Seth knew Mal had been pushing for tonight…
He could tell there was more wrong right now than just whatever was going on with Mal. He was no stranger to divorce and the distancing that happened sometimes.
He could also see the painful longing on Mal’s face, to want to be part of the festivities, and yet unable to.
For starters, he knew damn well Kel wouldn’t play with her right now. Kel had also admitted to Seth he was terrified to touch her for fear of harming her.
Wrenching his attention back onto the rope scene, Seth tried not to think about it. There wasn’t anything he could do except be a friend and listen, provide a shoulder, an ear. He couldn’t fix this any more than Kel could fix it.
All any of them could do was be there for the couple if and when they reached out.
* * * *
June felt a mix of relief and sorrow when Kel and Mal finally said their good-byes to her, Leah, and Seth at the end of Glen and Wade’s scene and quietly slipped away without fanfare.
Scrye walked over to June and leaned in. “Holy fuck,” he muttered. “What the hell?”
“Shh. I’ll fill you in later, Daddy.”
“Okay.” He kissed her. “I take it there’s nothing we can do for them right now?”
“Nothing more than we currently are. I’ll call May tomorrow and ask her to check in with Kel.”
“Good.” He sighed. “It’s bad, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
He pulled her in for a hug. “Love you, baby.”
“Love you, too, Daddy.”
She didn’t even need to talk to Leah, Loren, or the others to know they were thinking the same thing she was, but it wasn’t like they could just swarm Mal en masse and force her to eat.
That’s not how this shit worked, and June damn well knew it.
No amount of love or support or caring could fix this, any of it.
It had to start with Mal, and they had to force themselves to listen to Kel and whatever he told them they needed. Their well-intent
ioned efforts to help could backfire and cause problems, and none of them wanted that.
Abbey walked over in her tortoise costume. “Anyone call Tilly yet?” she muttered. “Because she’ll fucking kick our asses if we don’t tell her.”
“I know. Not tonight. I’ll call her tomorrow. I have a feeling Kel is going to have his hands full tonight as it is. He doesn’t need Tilly calling him.”
“You’re probably right.”
“Besides,” June said, “I think they need way more help than any of us will be able to offer.”
Abbey sighed. “You’re probably right about that, too.”
Chapter Eight
“You could’ve dressed up, baby,” Joel said.
“Sir, I don’t want to be dressed up if you’re not.”
“I am dressed. I’m an exhausted boat mechanic.” He smiled at Fen, who finally laughed.
“I’m okay with not dressing up in a costume, Sir. I’m more hoping we’re going to play tonight. Derrick and Marcia said they’d show you how to use the violet wand. I’d just be getting naked, anyway.”
“Oooh. I like your logic, baby.”
Fen grinned. “I try.”
Honestly? Fen was totally okay not dressing up tonight. He didn’t want to enter the costume contest, anyway, because he knew Mads wanted to talk Milo into entering the puns division, and she was thinking about entering, too.
He’d prefer not to compete against her and Milo. They were still relatively new to the private parties and getting to know people in the group. Mads might be his bestie, and they might be competitive under other circumstances, but in this case, Fen would totally be a gentleman and be Team Mads-Milo.
Besides, the promise of violet wand play was even better. Hell, he could run around the house in costumes any time.
They didn’t have their own violet wand kit to play with. Joel didn’t have a lot of experience seeing them in action, and Fen loved them. He was hoping tonight would be enough to boost Joel’s confidence with the thing to convince him they needed to add one to their own kinky inventory of play items.
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