by V. F. Mason
“That’s not true; if he was, I would have been in love with him. It’s a sort of connection you feel at the get-go.” Arguing was better than seeing some truth in what they were saying.
“Can you honestly tell me you’ve never felt a connection for him?” Bella asked, and the silence stretched in the room.
It was hard to admit, but honesty was needed.
Freaking awesome.
“No, I can’t.”
“Exactly,” Ariel said with triumph. “But you push him away, because there is actually a chance for you two to be together.”
“That doesn’t make sense.”
“Unfortunately, it does.” Bella took a deep breath and then looked me straight in the eyes. “I always knew there was something between Ryan and me, a sort of connection, but I didn't want to take a risk and have a relationship. You know about my parents.” She laughed without much humor. Her parents were alcoholics who beat the crap out of Nick, who always protected her. “So I ran from him. If it wasn’t for Nick’s—” Her voice shook a little, and Sam squeezed her hand. “—death, we would have never been together. And Jane, I’m happy now.” She really was truly in love with the dude, and though there was lingering sadness in her eyes, which would stay there forever for her brother, she was happier than she had been in years.
“But what does it have to do with me?”
“The point is I was running from him. And you are running from love as well. Subconsciously, you don’t want to be attached to anyone, in fear of losing them.”
That made me angry inside. “What’s this? Shrink’s session?”
“No, it’s your friends telling you what is going on. We get it. Trust me, I get it. Life in foster homes sucked. But it doesn’t mean that every person you love will leave. We are here. Jer is here. And Drake is fucking here, too,” Bella finished, and all this talk made me slightly dizzy, so I sat on the windowsill and tried to understand what they were saying.
Was I afraid to choose someone who would actually have a chance with me and me with him?
Was Jer not what I really wanted?
God, but it made sense. I thought I crushed on him, but there was never the deep desire that I shared with Drake to my core. I never wanted to devour Jer and forget myself in him.
Yes, I thought my heart was in it, and I tried to block unnecessary images, but was it really so? Or was I just simply afraid to do something about it?
But was it really the reason, or simply because he was a safe bet?
“What if it’s true?” My whisper barely made a sound, but they heard me, and I felt Ariel’s hand on my arm. I realized she had stood up and came closer to me.
“Then you are free,” she said softly.
“Free to do what?”
“Anything you want. I mean no one says that you love him, Jane. But you can give this a chance and see how it goes.”
Was it that simple? I wanted him; there was no question in that one, but I pushed him away, because I knew he wouldn't be offering me friendship with benefits.
But what if I could pursue a relationship with him?
Then another thought struck me.
“I just told him that we are sort of done and he agreed.”
Bella winced and nodded. “Yeah, he called Ryan. I think they are planning to go to the bar or something.”
The bar, right. Moving on already? What the hell?
I was so tired of this shit. Even if we were not getting together, we had a little girl to think about now, and he couldn’t go to the bars and enjoy his evenings.
“Let’s go,” I said so loudly they all jumped.
“Where?” Sam asked carefully, and I met three pairs of confused and worried eyes, but there was a smile in them too.
They accomplished what they wanted, after all.
“To the hotel room. I need to change, and then we can join the guys at the bar.”
“Don’t think Jer would like it,” Ariel joked, but I just shrugged.
“Too freaking bad, I’m going.”
“So you got your head out of your ass now?” Sam’s chuckle was really loud and annoying, and I threw a small grape that was beside me on the table at her, but she quickly ducked her head so it didn't hit her.
Pitiful.
“Okay then, show time,” Bella said with a smile, and we all got the hell out of the studio.
Shit, what did I do?
Drake
“I appreciate you coming here. I know you aren't exactly a drinker.”
Ryan chuckled and his blue eyes, like mine, held compassion. Although we had the same dad, we didn't really look much alike, besides our Jackson family-trade eyes. He was tanned with dark hair, while I was blond and slightly on the pale side.
Chicks apparently found both of us attractive if giggles from the table close to us and waitresses’ smiles were anything to go by.
“I understand your pain, brother,” he said.
The chuckle that left me wasn't exactly the most humorous one. I took another shot of tequila and fucking liked the burning feeling in my throat.
Being a nice guy was overrated. I couldn't believe that after everything I’d done I was still not good enough for her. She wouldn't even give me a fucking chance, too hung up on her fantasy that she associated only with Jeremy.
Who made him the fucking knight?
Yeah, I was angry, and alcohol wasn't exactly helping the situation.
“At least your girl sleeps beside you every night now. And she gave you a chance.” My tone was accusing, but it wasn't like there was any grudge. Ryan went to hell and back to have her, or rather to make her see him, and a little deception was involved as well. Just right now, everything pissed me off big time, and happy people in relationships were a big part of it.
“I fought for her,” he added, and I narrowed my eyes and straightened up.
“And you think I didn’t? I fucking wooed her, gave her time, space, made sure she had everything. Nothing worked for her. She just wants this piece of fucking shit manager, and no one else would do.”
“Well, fuck. Always glad to know what you really think about me, dude,” said the amused voice of the man in question, and then Jer sat in the booth next to Ryan, which made his face sit right across me, and that pissed me off too.
“You aren’t exactly my favorite man right now, so fuck off.” My behavior probably shocked everyone, but fuck if I cared. I was usually the calm one, the psychologist, the one who defused the situation.
The woman was making me crazy, and part of me used to like it, that she was able to make me lose control. That she could lose control with me. But right now, I hated her for it.
She gave me heaven, and then she took it away without giving me the chance to prove to her that we could have worked.
“Yeah, I get it.” Jer motioned with his hand for a shot as well then put his elbows on the table and leaned forward to me. “It’s not like I had luck with my girl, and I had to watch her fuck all those fucked up guys who came and left. So don’t fucking tell me how hard it is.” Well, he got me there. My girl was innocent, so at least she wasn't getting it on with another guy. Just the idea of her with someone else made me want to kill someone.
Well, get used to it. She just told you goodbye and you promised her a divorce.
Didn't that call for another shot? So I took another one and enjoyed it even more than the previous one.
“Are you two shitheads getting drunk tonight again, like the last time in my office?” Ryan asked. We did get drunk in his office, both of us bitching about our girls, while Ryan was drinking juice. Then we passed out and woke up there the next morning.
“Sounds good to me.” I had no desire to think about anything, and Jer, who magically had his shot in his hand, raised it to me, so I had no choice but to raise mine, and he made a toast.
“Here's to the pussies like us who try to get the girl, but she always slips through our fingers.”
“Good one.” Our glasses clinked an
d we drank them quickly.
He gestured for the waitress to bring us ten more, and Ryan groaned.
“Come on guys, don’t get drunk. We have a concert tomorrow.”
“I’ll be fine by tomorrow,” Jer snapped and took another shot; he probably wanted to catch up to me, because I'd already had three.
“Me, too. I’m not a kid, man.”
Ryan raised his hands in defeat and we continued to drink, but somehow none of us was getting very drunk. We were tipsy yeah, but not drunk. We just kept bitching about girls, what they wanted, and how they never wanted to give in.
All the drinking made me want to go to the bathroom, and once I was done with my business, I headed back to the table, and was almost there, when a manicured hand stopped me. I raised my eyes from the hand to a beautiful woman with blue eyes, long legs, and the tightest dress that there probably ever was.
She was hot, if you went for that kind of look.
But I didn't, at least not anymore. I only wanted my chocolate-eyed, sweet, and beautiful girl, and that hand on my chest only annoyed me.
I wasn't hers to touch.
“Hey, handsome,” she said in a throaty voice that was probably supposed to make me hard and interested, but it wasn't doing anything.
“Hey,” I replied, because my mom didn't raise me to be rude to women, no matter the consequence. I tried to wiggle myself out of the corner she sort of created, standing in front of me and blocking my table. Ryan and Jer watched with amused smiles, but my brother still had worry in his eyes.
“Wanna dance?” She leaned closer, and now her perfume was all over me and it made me want to vomit. Seriously, why did some women need to spray that shit all over their body? A little bit was nice, sexy even, but overdoing it was overkill.
“No, thank you.”
“But I really want to dance.” Slowly, her fingers started to play with my chest, and that angered me. I took her hand in my hands and stopped her movement.
“Then I suggest you find someone else.” She wasn't very happy with my refusal. I pushed her hand down, but she started to lean closer to kiss me to prove me wrong.
“I want only you,” she whispered closer to me, but I’d had enough of this bullshit.
Nothing was wrong in going after what you wanted, but if a guy said no, it really meant no.
Before I could push her away, a soft but angry voice behind me said, “Let go of him.”
The woman blinked, and I have to say I fucking did too.
Jane stood behind me in tight jeans, boots, and a leather jacket over a soft top. Her hair was loose, and her eyes had makeup above them.
Beautiful.
My beautiful girl.
She looked pissed off, her eyes sending daggers to the blonde, and suddenly, the whole situation became much more interesting.
“And who are you?” the blonde said, her eyes dismissing my girl as though she was nothing, and that shit, I didn't like. Jane was ten times more beautiful than that girl ever would be.
At least to me.
“I’m his wife.”
“Yeah right,” Blondie snorted, and suddenly, she put her arms around my neck. Her lips were close to mine. I grabbed her hips to move her aside—no way in fuck I wanted her to kiss me—when she was pushed back hard, and my girl stood in front of me.
“I told you to stay away from him.”
Blondie just looked at me and back to Jane, and then shrugged her shoulders.
“Whatever, crazy bitch. No dick is that hot,” she muttered and walked away, leaving us standing in the middle of the bar with people watching. The guys were smirking, and Jer took another shot, saluting me, while I noticed Jane’s girls were behind me with their eyes wide and mouths open, quite shocked with what happened.
Jane then spun to me and jabbed my chest with her finger. “Two hours. Two freaking hours and you’re in the bar, picking up chicks?” Her tone was angry, her eyes flashing daggers at me now.
Un-fucking-believable.
But so fucking hot.
“I wasn't picking up chicks, as you put it. She came on to me.” Why was I explaining this to her anyway? She broke up with me today.
“Didn’t look like it.”
“Seriously? And why do you care, Jane? I forgave you and agreed to a divorce. That makes me a single man.” This whole conversation was immature, not to mention that even if I were as good as divorced, I still wouldn't want anyone but her.
“She can’t touch you. In fact, no one can.”
My brows rose. “Really? Why is that then?”
“Because you’re my husband.”
Before I could remind her she told me to take a hike, she put her hands around my neck and smashed her mouth to mine, her tongue demanding entrance into my mouth, which I gladly granted her.
Her tongue entwined with mine. Her hands pushed through my hair as she tried to bring me closer to her, moaning all the way. My dick instantly became hard and I needed to touch her; this deep kiss just wasn’t doing it. I put my hands on her hips then moved them lower to her ass, and without another thought, picked her up. She wrapped her legs around my waist as my hard-on pressed against her heat. She moaned into my mouth.
She tasted of grapes, coffee, and herself, that unique taste I would never forget.
Jane pulled herself closer to me, and I moved my kisses lower to her neck, which was fucking delicious too, when a loud cough behind us shattered our haze and reminded us we were in a bar where people gaped at us, including the blonde, whose mouth hung to the floor. Ariel was nodding her head and giving us a thumbs up. Bella smiled and ran to Ryan, who was standing by this point, and immediately, she was in his arms. Sam chuckled, but it didn't really reach her eyes, as Jeremy took another shot while looking directly at her.
I shifted my focus back to Jane, who was red as a lobster at this public display of affection, and I put her back down on the floor, her body slowly, torturously sliding down mine.
I didn't let her move far. My erection was still rock hard, and the last thing I wanted was for the whole bar to witness it.
“What the hell is going on?” As the words left my mouth, suddenly we saw the light flash on us, and a man with a camera grinned like a fool and quickly started running.
Jeremy stood up and cursed. “Fuck. Now your marriage will be all over the media.”
Yeah, apparently we no longer had our privacy, and soon the world would have new, amazing gossip.
God help us all.
Jane
“Are you out of your mind? I mean, if you wanted to kiss him so much, why not do it in the bus or, I don’t know, somewhere more private than in the middle of the fucking bar?!” Jer was screaming those words at me as we were all sitting inside our ‘sort of’ living room in our vehicle. He was livid. The photo became news on the internet almost instantly. The whole world wondered how long we had a relationship, and within a matter of hours, the marriage would come up.
Seriously.
It wasn’t as if I had been planning to kiss him; it just sort of happened.
After our conversations at the studio, I went with the girls to change. I decided to put a little bit more effort into my appearance than usual, just because. And I wanted to talk with Drake, maybe give in to my feelings and explore them.
But when we arrived at the bar and I saw the blonde girl touch him and almost kiss him, something inside me snapped. I found it impossible to stop myself from telling her off.
She was tall, beautiful, and yeah, she made me feel my looks were not good enough.
Fuck it.
He was my husband. He could damn well wait until the ink dried on our divorce papers before looking for company for the night. Since little Hope would be with us soon, he would have a long time to wait.
That was the reason on the surface.
Honestly? I was never this jealous in my life. Apparently, the green-eyed monster finally awakened within me, and I didn't like it. I acted like a stupid caveman.
Then the kiss.
He was just standing there and not feeling guilty at all, so it was a spur of the moment reaction.
God, Drake and his kisses. Every woman should be kissed like that at least once in her life.
Gentle yet hard, soft but painful, passionate, and sweet.
He just knew how to make it good, and my body shivered from the memory.
Suddenly, Drake was in front of me, and judging by his voice, he wasn't in the best of moods. “Don’t shout at her.”
“I wouldn't be shouting at her if she hadn’t decided to show a display of ownership back there.”
My cheeks blushed and my face was probably as red as a tomato. It was one thing to admit those thoughts to myself, but him saying that while everyone was in the room was humiliating. “It wasn't a display of ownership.” My voice was annoyed, which was good. The last thing I needed was to show everyone how this affected me.
“She can do whatever she wants, Jer, when it comes to me, so back off. You’re angry; I understand. But take your anger somewhere else. My wife is off limits in your shouting match.” His voice was cold, low; he clearly meant what he was saying.
His wife.
He still considered me his, which was seriously a plus, and he was defending me.
Where was my head when I thought nothing permanent could happen between us?
Oh yeah, it was in my ass.
Jeremy stood there for a moment with a scowl on his face, but then his shoulders sagged and he took a deep breath.
“Sorry, man, you’re right.” He then looked at me with those expressive, amber eyes of his and tried to smile. “Sorry, sweetheart. If you wanted to kiss your husband, you should be allowed to do it.”
Yeah, although he was apologizing, he was putting me in an uncomfortable position with Drake, and he knew it. Before I could reply, his phone rang. He picked it up, becoming engrossed in his conversation, so I had a minute to gather my thoughts.
Which was impossible with my friends.
Ariel and Sam were sending me smirks and thumbs up, and even a conversation was going on in our group chat on WhatsApp.