by James, Marie
“Ew.” Peyton’s nose scrunches up. “Little sister, remember?”
She looks down at her phone once again, and then I see her wink. Is she taking selfies while I’m spilling my guts?
“You never know.” Her eyes leave her phone and look up at me. “She may come around.”
“And what exactly should I do to convince her?” I don’t think my sister has much relationship experience, but since I’m working with nothing of my own, it doesn’t hurt to get help and advice wherever I can.
“Just go talk to her,” Peyton responds.
“Jesus!” I hiss, throwing myself on my back on her carpet. “I’ve tried talking with her. She’s stubborn and won’t listen to me.”
“Maybe she will this time.”
“Yeah, okay.” I swing myself up from the floor.
I didn’t get anywhere with my confessions. My sister just wants to give me canned advice, knowing that Piper has pushed me away at every turn. Is she getting back at me for something?
“See you later,” I mutter as I walk toward the hallway.
“Are you going to go talk to her?”
“No clue,” I tell her as I leave.
“Go talk to her!” Peyton screams after me, but instead of heading to Piper’s house, I go to my room.
Pacing hasn’t helped before, and yet it’s what I find myself doing right now. Tying her up and forcing her to listen to me seems like a twisted option, and I honestly don’t think it would breed trust between the two of us.
Peyton was my last chance at figuring out what to do, and that failed epically. Just talking to Piper sounds easy enough, and I’d think it was a great idea if I hadn’t already attempted to do it a million times already.
She’ll kiss me back when I kiss her, but then she gets lost in her head, remembering all the shitty things I did to her, and she pushes me away.
I’m out of luck and hope, so I grab a quick shower and head over to do exactly what my sister suggested. I’ll try to talk to her one more time.
Hell, what am I thinking? I’ll try it a million times until she finally understands that the guy she hates no longer exists, and he’s never coming back. Even if my memories make a miraculous appearance, there’s no changing the way I feel about her.
With determination in my stride, I leave the house, crossing my yard and into hers. I don’t even want to knock. I want to shove the door open and tell her how it’s going to be, force her to listen and understand, but that doesn’t seem like it would work either.
I’m thinking of how I’m going to reword the things I’ve said over and over as I lift my finger to ring the doorbell.
Chapter 26
Piper
Peyton’s bedroom door snaps shut, and all I can do is stare at my friend’s smiling face on my phone.
“What just happened?”
“Why are you crying?”
I didn’t realize my face was wet with tears until she asked.
I dash them away with the back of my hand.
“Are you going to let him talk to you?”
“Did he know you were on the phone with me?”
Is she playing me to help her brother? Did they just set all of this up? A familiar sense of betrayal begins to seep inside of me.
“He just barged in my room. He didn’t have a clue,” she assures me. “He comes in here to stare at your bedroom window.”
I ignore that little piece of information because it has the ability to either creep me out or make me smile with knowing he thinks of me when I’m not there.
“He said you were mad at him. What did he do to piss you off?”
“I know you don’t want to talk about the scars on your legs, Piper, but I can’t get them out of my head. I hate him for pushing you to that point.”
Shame washes over me, but I can’t focus on that right now either.
“What am I going to do?” I whisper.
“I suggest washing your face and brushing your hair. He’s on his way over there.”
I squeak with anticipation, hanging up the phone without even saying goodbye before hauling tail to the bathroom.
I do as she says, washing my face and brushing my hair. After the kiss we shared less than an hour ago, I also brush my teeth, knowing he may try to do that again.
When the doorbell rings, I’m staring at my face in the mirror. My eyes are still swollen from crying from hearing the desperation in his voice when he explained to his sister how he felt about me. I never expected him to feel that way, and more importantly, I never expected to feel how I am right now with his confession.
He loves me?
There was doubt in Peyton’s voice when she questioned his ability to feel that way in such a short period of time, but I heard the truth in his voice. It was laced through his words like restricting ivy, and he seemed to be drowning in it.
That’s why the tears were on my face. That’s why I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut as I descend the stairs. But it’s the memories I can’t seem to let go of that stop me inches from the door.
“Please, Piper,” Dalton mutters on the other side of the door. “Please let me in.”
The desperation in his voice makes me feel like a fool for only thinking about the past and not considering what the future could hold.
The doorbell rings again, but I’m frozen in place, stuck, knowing that if I open the door, I’m doing more than letting Dalton Payne in my house. I’d be letting him into my heart, and that stupid muscle is frantic with the need to be loved and nurtured.
Let go of the past. That was Frankie’s suggestion. Dillon told me to make him fall in love with me, then break his heart, and if I go by the confession to his sister, he’s already there. The breaking of the heart is the difficult thing, though. I just don’t have it in me. I’m not composed of the things required to do that.
It’s what makes it so difficult to put myself in his path.
And yet, I open the door when the bell rings for the fifth time.
“Hey,” I say as soon as his head darts up to look at me.
Surprise is clear on his face, and I grin, knowing he didn’t expect me to open the door. I love being able to shock him.
“Hey,” he says back.
We stand and stare at each other, and after hearing what he said to Peyton, it’s like I’m looking at a new person. I’m finally allowing myself to see the person he claims he is rather than the monster that’s haunted me for years.
“I just came over to…” He grips the back of his neck. “I wanted to see if you wanted to go grab a snow cone.”
My brows shoot up. Not exactly what I was expecting him to say.
“A snow cone?”
“Yeah. You know, shaved ice covered in flavored syrup?”
Two months ago, I would see his explanation as a way to call me an idiot, but the cute smile on his face reads of playful sarcasm. He isn’t insulting me but trying to make me smile.
I reward him with exactly what he’s aiming for.
“That’s pretty.” His hand raises a few inches but then drops back down at his side.
I did that to him. I made him unsure of his permission to touch me.
“I love your smile.”
I clamp my lips closed, refusing to snap out that he would’ve seen it more often if he wasn’t so mean, because we’re turning over a new leaf. If he’s changed, then I have to do the same. If I’m going to give him even half a chance, I can’t keep throwing our past in his face at every turn.
“I think a snow cone sounds amazing.”
His face displays his shock when I agree rather than reject his offer.
“Really?”
“So long as you’re paying.” I wink at him and suddenly feel like an idiot. Who winks at people anymore?
“Of course,” he agrees. “Can you drive? I don’t have a car.”
Guilt slams into me once again.
“Yeah, I can drive.”
He waits in the doorway while I grab my
purse and keys before guiding me to the driveway. He doesn’t reach out to touch me, but he’s close enough that I can smell his cologne, and I can admit that I want his hand on me, even if it is at the small of my back while we walk together. The thought no longer makes my skin crawl or makes bile rise up in my throat, but at the same time, it also makes me wonder if I’ve lost my mind.
I’m willingly getting back into a car with Dalton. The last time this happened, I nearly killed us both.
“You can go the speed limit,” he teases ten minutes later as we slowly make our way to the snow cone stand.
“I don’t want to wreck,” I say, maintaining my slow speed and refusing to give in to his playful peer pressure.
“Will you tell me about that night?”
The car jerks abruptly as we pull up to a red light.
He doesn’t laugh like I expect him to, and when I look over at him, I wonder if he’s getting his memories back. It’s my number one worry these days.
I don’t want to keep lying to him, but confessing the truth will ruin everything. He just told his sister that he loves me, and as much as that shocked me, it also made my heart smile.
“You were mean to me that night,” I admit. “We’d just found out about your friends.”
“They’re no longer my friends,” he says. “I don’t need them. I need you.”
A lump forms in my throat as I try to figure out how to give him what he wants without admitting my role in the entire thing, but that’s impossible.
I glide the car into a gas station, parking off to the side, so I don’t interrupt the flow of traffic for those that are actually here to use the facilities.
“What’s wrong?” he asks as I turn to him.
“I’m so sorry,” I manage before the sobs wrack my body.
He reaches for me, managing to wrap his arms around my back. My seat belt doesn’t allow him to pull me against him, but the sentiment is there.
“Don’t apologize,” I tell him. “I can’t handle it.”
“I shouldn’t have been drinking that night,” he continues. “I’ll never do it again. Drinking and driving were incredibly stupid. I can’t believe I put you in danger.”
My head shakes back and forth, and the guilt in his own voice kills me.
“You didn’t,” I tell him past the lump in my throat.
“The doctor’s said my blood alcohol level was more than double the legal limit. I should be in jail.”
“I was driving,” I blurt. I can’t look at him, so I focus on his chest as the rest of it just flies out of my mouth. “You were so hateful that night, blaming me for what happened at the party. You insulted me the entire drive home. I wasn’t paying attention. The car drifted on the shoulder, and I was correcting it when you grabbed the wheel. We overcorrected. There was another car coming, and the wheel was jerked, and we went off into the ravine.”
Silence fills the car with my confession, and Dalton grows stiff beside me.
I rush to tell him the rest because he may never talk to me again after this.
“The car toppled over and over, and I wasn’t even mad as we rolled down the hill. I didn’t care that I wrecked your perfect car. I didn’t get upset until I looked over and you were no longer there. One minute you were berating me, and the next you were gone.” I finally find the courage to look up at him. “I looked for you. I yelled until I couldn’t speak, but you were nowhere. You were just—gone.”
“Hey.” He cups my face, and for a split second, I wonder if he’s going to wrap his fingers around my throat. “It was just a car.”
My eyes search his as shock and confusion war with each other in my head.
“You loved that car. It meant everything to you.”
His thumb swipes at the tears that continue to roll down my cheeks.
“I was a materialistic ass. It was just a car.” His eyes search mine before settling on my lips. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”
“But, you’re not.”
“I’m perfect,” he argues, but not in a narcissistic sort of way.
“Your memories are gone. That’s my fault.”
“I’m glad my memories are gone.” His hand trembles as he cups my face. “I wish I could wipe yours as well. I wish I could go back in time and undo every terrible thing I did to you, take back every hateful word, and do things differently.”
“I didn’t mean to lie, but your mom visited me in the hospital, and when I found out she presumed you were driving, I didn’t correct her.”
Since I’m confessing, I might as well put it all out there.
“Everyone thinks you were driving because you never let anyone drive that car, and I just let them. Everyone is going to hate me when they find out. Not like that changes much for the people at school, but my parents may never forgive me.”
“It was an accident.” He forces my chin up when I try to look away. “I’m not mad, not about any of it. You could’ve kept it all a secret, but you’re an amazing person.”
“D-do you hate me?”
His face softens even more. “Baby, I could never hate you, and you don’t have to worry about anyone else finding out. I’m going to let them keep thinking I was driving.”
“Wh-what? Why would you do that?” I don’t even want that if I’m being honest with myself. The guilt is too much to keep dealing with every day.
“The truth doesn’t change anything, so there’s no point.” He shrugs as if the pain and disgrace I’ve suffered with for the last month were for nothing.
“I’m not asking that of you.”
“I know.” He gives me a weak smile. “Are you still up for that snow cone?”
I can’t help but chuckle. My confession has been eating me alive, and he’s acting like I just told him I broke a plate in his kitchen, rather than drove his car off a ravine and totaled it.
“I need a minute,” I confess. “My face must be a mess.”
A sharp breath escapes his lips when I lean closer and reach for the napkins in the glovebox.
“Your face is as beautiful as always.”
I smile at his generous lie, but otherwise, keep my lips shut. My luck has to run out soon. Not long ago he confessed he loved me, and he doesn’t seem to care that I ruined his life. The other shoe will drop soon, and I don’t know that I’ll be ready for it. He’s already broken down the walls around my heart.
His next blow will be deadly.
I’m sure of it.
Chapter 27
Dalton
I watch Piper as she dabs the tissue under her eyes. She’s absolutely gorgeous, and I’d scream it from the rooftops if I could.
Am I shocked at hearing her confess that she was driving my car that night? I guess I am, but it doesn’t change anything.
“Are you sure you don’t hate me?” she asks, keeping her eyes on her hands.
“Positive.”
She sighs and leans back against the driver’s seat. She’s no longer sobbing, but the tears haven’t stopped flowing down her pink cheeks.
“I saw you in the hospital,” I whisper. “You walked past my room, but all I got was a cursory glance. My mom had to tell me who you were, and I hated myself. I hated that I couldn’t remember you. How in the hell does someone forget an angel?”
She snorts, unladylike and loud.
I’m grinning when she turns her head to look at me.
“Really?”
“It sounds corny, but it’s true. While I was out, my entire world was black and gray. Then you walked by with long blonde hair and the brightest blue eyes I’d ever seen.”
“Did they do a personality transplant during your surgery, too?”
She smiles at me, and I want to take a snapshot of this moment and hold it in my heart forever. God, I’d be the luckiest man in the world if this girl actually gave me a chance, if she actually let me love her.
“I love how you don’t give me an inch when I’m being corny,” I say instead of laying the confessions I said t
o Peyton at her feet. “It’s only going to make this so much sweeter when you’re mine.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself.” Those are her words, but they no longer hold the bite of anger or unease that they had each time we’ve talked.
“Let’s go get that snow cone,” I tell her because all I want to do is unhook her seat belt and pull her across to sit on my lap. I want to bury my nose in her hair while my arms are holding her close.
And maybe something more than losing my memories did happen because of the accident, because all of that, although one hundred percent true, sounds ridiculously cheesy, even in my head.
She agrees by putting the car back in gear and merging into traffic.
“Crap,” she mumbles as we draw closer.
Lined up on the picnic tables beside the snow cone stand are all the people I could go a lifetime without seeing again. Bronwyn is sitting on Kyle’s lap while everyone else is either sitting or standing nearby. They’re all laughing and having a good time, and I don’t begrudge anyone of that, but it’s the unsure look on Piper’s face that makes me wish they’d all disappear.
“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea,” Piper mutters as she pulls into the crowded parking lot. “I won’t mind just getting ice cream down the street. I’ll understand.”
“Understand? Look at me, Piper.” Her eyes are slow to meet mine. “What are you talking about?”
“We can go somewhere else if you don’t want to go here.”
“This is exactly where I want to be.” I lean in closer to her. “I’m not hiding you away, baby. I’d be a fool to keep the prettiest girl in the world in the dark.”
“If we go out there together, there’s no going back for you. Even if you get your memories back and decide against whatever it is you think you feel about me, you’ll be a pariah.”
“Whatever it is, I think I feel about you, huh?” I huff a humorless laugh as I sling open my car door.
Either this woman isn’t listening, or she’s so broken from the pain I’ve caused in the past she just can’t believe what she’s hearing. That changes here and now.