One Eighty (Westover Prep Book 1)

by James, Marie

  “See? Simple?”

  There’s nothing simple about walking into my room and seeing Piper. But then again, there’s nothing simple about the way I feel for her. Not seeing her for the last couple of days has left a hole inside of me, an aching void of despair that longs for her constantly.

  “Go.” Peyton literally shoos her arms to get me to leave her room.

  My bedroom door is closed, and thoughts of how I’ll find her fill my mind. Unable to just stride in there, I lean my head against the cold hardwood and pray for strength.

  Piper is standing at my window when I finally manage the courage to turn the knob and open the door. She doesn’t look in my direction immediately, but her shoulders tense.

  “I always know when you enter a room,” she says without looking back at me. “It’s like the air around you is charged. My heart starts to beat faster, and my fingers tingle.”

  Her hands open and close like she’s feeling that very thing now.

  “It’s the same with you,” I confess.

  Slowly, she turns around, and although I expected her to be ashen, the way she was the last time we were in my room, her cheeks are full of color, and her eyes sparkle with vibrancy.

  I hate the fact that she was sick for so long, and I was so wrapped up in winning her over that I didn’t even recognize the signs of her pending illness. This beautiful girl could’ve died while I was so focused on making her mine that I didn’t even see it. Add that to the ever-growing list of shit I did wrong where she’s concerned.

  “Why have you been ignoring me?”

  Straight to the point. It’s pure Piper, and I shouldn’t have expected anything less.

  “You were in that hospital because of me.”

  “I was in the hospital because the doctors missed something before I was released, or the bleed was delayed. Neither reason is because of you.”

  “The accident was my fault,” I tell her.

  “I was driving. That means the accident was my fault.”

  Knowing she’s going to argue every single point I make, I cross the room to my desk. From the window, it creates the greatest distance between us that the room allows, and it’s already hard enough not going to her and wrapping her in my arms. This is worse than I imagined it would be. Sharing the same space with her, knowing what we were going to do the last time we were in here is killing me. My brain and body are getting on the same page, and that can only mean trouble for my resolve.

  “We can’t be together,” I tell her, my back straightening as I say the words.

  “Care to elaborate?” She watches my face as if she’s a life-sized lie detector. “And don’t give me any of that bull about the things that happened in the past.”

  Repeatedly swallowing doesn’t remove the lump that’s threatening to cut off my air supply in my throat, but she’s patient, waiting for me to speak again.

  “I saw your thighs, Piper.” My words come out on a whisper, reminding me just how upset I was the other day.

  I wanted to make her feel good, to run my mouth all over her like I’d brazenly promised, only to find the pain she’s always hidden so well under her clothes. The shorts at the pool a few weeks ago make complete sense now.

  “So, they disgusted you?”

  “Yes,” I admit, and she sucks in a breath.

  I can tell she thinks I’m confessing to being disgusted at the sight of her, and for a moment in time, I almost go with it. I almost tell her that I can’t be with a girl who’s marked up like that, but I swore to her I’d always be honest.

  “I hate myself for what I made you do. I hate that your gorgeous body will always carry the burden and proof of the pain I’ve caused you.”

  “Is that all?” Her question is dry and emotionless.

  “I’ve done nothing but destroy you. I’ve done a million things to you for no reason other than because I could.”

  “Do you love me?” Only now does her voice crack with her pent-up emotions.

  My mouth snaps shut, refusing to admit that right now. It’ll only give her more reason to try to wear me down, and I’m already only hanging on by a thread.

  “Because I love you.” My head snaps up. “And I refuse. Are you listening to me? I refuse to get my heart broken this way. How dare you make me fall in love with you, only for you to turn around and decide you’re just not into me! Do you know how ignorant you sound right now?”

  The lump in my throat dislodges, but when I open my mouth to speak, it’s clear she isn’t going to give me the opportunity to do so.

  “Either you really do feel like I deserve better, and honestly, Dalton, I know I do. I deserve better than a boy who’s only hurt me until that accident. I deserve someone who worships me, someone who isn’t afraid to hold me and tell me how they feel. I deserve so much better than that, but you know what? I didn’t get to choose. I didn’t want to fall in love with you. Hell, I didn’t even want to like you as a person. You made me do this.” Tears fill her eyes, and I stand as she tries to blink them away. “Either you think that, or you don’t care for me at all.”

  An incredulous laugh escapes her throat.

  “That’s it, isn’t it? This thing between us is what it’s always been. It’s a joke, or a prank or some kind of fun for you at my expense.” She turns to leave, and I want to stop her, but my feet are planted to the floor. “I should’ve known better. I should’ve left well enough alone. Making the sad girl with no friends fall in love with the bully. Just freaking perfect. Have a nice life, Dalton.”

  “I do love you!” I spit as she reaches for the doorknob. No matter what I feel or think, there’s no way I can let her walk away from me right now, not thinking and feeling the way she does. She freezes, but she doesn’t turn around. The sight of her shoulders shaking with her sobs is killing me. “I love you more than I ever thought possible, but I’m no good for you.”

  “No!” she yells, spinning around to face me. “You don’t get to do that either! My love for you is unconditional. It doesn’t make sense. Even I can admit that, but it doesn’t make it any less real. If you want me to walk away, just tell me, and I will. But shoving me away because of things we can’t change? I forgive you for all of it. You told me to stop living in the past, and I’ve done that, but now you want to push me away for the very same reason.”

  Tears burn my eyes, and the lump in my throat returns.

  “You forgive me?” Her head nods immediately. She doesn’t even have to think of her answer. “For everything?”

  “All of it. Everything you’ve ever done to me, I forgive, but if you walk away from what we have, I’ll never forgive you for that. My scars may never heal, but they’ve made me stronger. They’ve made it possible for me to open myself up to see who you are now.”

  “And if I get my memories back?”

  “Will it make you stop loving me?”

  “No. I don’t think there’s anything that could make my love for you fade.”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  “I want to save you from me, Piper, from the things I’ve done, but if I remember, I can’t help but feel like we’re going to be right back here—right back to me hating myself and feeling like I don’t deserve you.”

  “Then I’ll have to remind you of all the good you’ve done since the accident. I’ll remind you every day that you love me.”

  “I won’t need a reminder,” I tell her.

  “So, where does this leave us?” She hasn’t closed the distance between us, and it’s killing me.

  I give her a small smile. “I guess this means you’re mine.”

  Chapter 40

  Piper

  His.

  God, how I want that. It’s why I came over here this morning. It’s all I’ve felt for a while now. Thinking I lost him has been ten times more painful than anything he’s done in the past.

  “Yours?”

  “Yes.”

  “No more pushing me away.”

  “No more,” he
agrees.

  “I’m serious, Dalton. I don’t want to lose you, but I refuse to go through this again. I can’t handle the back and forth.”

  “I promise,” he vows. “No more.”

  “You made me another promise, and you haven’t followed through yet,” I remind him.

  His eyebrows rise in confusion.

  “You promised me…” slowly, I walk toward him, my heart hammering inside my chest at being the one to instigate this, “fingers, mouth, cock.”

  His mouth parts, allowing his breaths to rush out past his lips.

  “That’s not a good idea.”

  I pause. “Because of my scars?”

  “Because you just got out of the hospital. I nearly killed you last time.”

  “Death by orgasm?” I tease. “What a way to go.”

  “I’m serious, Piper. We should wait.”

  “I’m fine.”

  He takes a step back, but I can see his hands clenching at his sides with the need to touch me.

  “And your doctor cleared you to have sex?”

  A laugh erupts from my throat. “I didn’t ask the doctor about sex.”

  “Then we wait.”

  “I’m not going to call one of my father’s colleagues and ask him if I can have sex. I feel great. Better than I have in a long time, and I’m telling you I’m fine.”

  “I can wait, Piper. We don’t have to do this now.”

  “I can’t,” I tell him as I tug my t-shirt over my head. “Is this pressuring you into doing something you don’t want to do?”

  I reach behind me and unsnap my bra, letting it coast down my arms and fall to the floor.

  He shakes his head. “I want to. God, do I want to.”

  He steps closer like he doesn’t have any control of his body.

  “You’ll tell me if you get a headache or if you start feeling bad?”

  “Of course,” I vow. And I will. I don’t want to go another four days without seeing him. “Will you be gentle with me?”

  “I can try,” he whispers. “You’ll tell me if I’m going too fast?”

  I laugh because we’re moving at a snail’s pace right now. “Yes. Will you touch me now?”

  His eyes are aimed at my exposed breasts, and he nods, but his legs don’t move him any closer to me.

  “Touch me here,” I tell him as my hand reaches up to caress my own breast.

  “Jesus,” he pants. “God, I don’t deserve you.”

  “But you still have me,” I remind him. “I’m yours.”

  “Are we really doing this?” Finally, he closes the distance, his hand reaching up for a tentative touch to my flesh.

  My chest heats with a mixture of anticipation and shyness. We’ve been this far before, but it’s still so new, I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to the feel of his eyes on me. Although I’m exposed and vulnerable to him, it’s the look of pure reverence in his eyes that lets me know I’m safe with him.

  “Only if you want to,” he answers, but as the words leave his lips, his mouth lowers to the tip of my right breast.

  Warm heat surrounds my nipple, and it’s sensation overload, enough that it makes my knees nearly buckle.

  I urge him toward his bed, but he seems content to just stand in the middle of the room and lave at my flesh with his wicked tongue.

  “Tell me if this doesn’t turn you on.”

  “Dalton,” I cup his cheeks in my hands, forcing him to look up at me, “everything you do turns me on. Finish undressing me.”

  He nods, his head shifting in my hands before I release him. His lips find mine as he works to open the button on my shorts and shoves them over my hips. They fall to the floor, and I kick off my shoes so I can clear my body of my clothes. Now, I’m standing in his room in nothing but my panties, but it’s his mouth on mine that I focus on. I’ve missed everything about him, but his mouth on me is what I’ve longed for the most. The way his lips move against mine removes all doubt about how he feels for me.

  His kiss is powerful, worshipping, and when he groans as our tongues touch, I know that I’ll never get enough of him.

  As much as I love his lips against mine, my body burns with the need for more. I want it all, all of him, all of this, all of it for eternity.

  “Dalton,” I whisper against his lips, “we need to get on the bed.”

  Without pulling his lips from mine, he grabs me behind my thighs and lifts me until my legs are wrapped around his body.

  “You’re still dressed,” I complain as he lowers us to his bed.

  “And I’m going to stay that way for now.” I pout as his hands skate down my body, my stomach trembling under his fingers. “If I pull my cock out now, I’m going to want inside of you.”

  “That’s the goal,” I remind him.

  “And I still have a promise to keep.”

  He pushes his body back, settling between my thighs, resting on his haunches. His eyes rove over me from my kiss-swollen lips and down my stomach until they rest between my thighs. The shaking in my body is renewed with his perusal, but I stiffen when his fingers begin to trace over the scars on my inner thighs.

  “I will tell you every day how sorry I am for this.” His touch is gentle, the tips of his fingers barely making contact, but his eyes don’t well with tears this time, and for that I’m grateful.

  When he lowers his head, my core clenches with anticipation, but his lips spend time kissing each and every one of the scars. It’s as if I heal from the inside out, and even though the flaws will remain, they no longer matter. If anything, they’ll merely serve as a reminder of how we got here today.

  “Dalton,” I plead when his mouth ghosts over my most sensitive flesh so he can kiss the scars on the other side. “Please.”

  He smiles, tilting his gorgeous face up so I can see his eyes. “Patience, Piper.”

  He keeps his eyes focused on mine as his fingers trace the lines of my panties from my hip to my center without touching me where I need him the most.

  “Touch me.”

  “I am,” he teases. “And I’m going to have to combine a couple of things together today, because as much as I want you to have patience, mine is quickly running out.”

  “C-combine?” I pant when his thumb brushes over my clit.

  “We’re going to have to do fingers and mouth together today, baby. That okay?”

  I nod enthusiastically, and he laughs at my eagerness. “I didn’t think you’d have a problem with that.”

  I lift my hips when it’s clear he wants my last piece of clothing gone, but when he tosses them away and looks down, his mouth hangs open.

  “Jesus… I… fuck, baby. You’re pretty here, too.” When his thumbs spread me open, my face burns with embarrassment. “So pink and perfect. Makes my mouth water for a taste.”

  Is he just staring at me? God, it makes me want to crawl in a hole and hide.

  “Can I taste you, Piper?”

  As much as I want to tell him no and beg him to stop staring at my most delicate flesh, my body has other demands.

  “Y-yes,” I answer, trying to ignore the urge to clamp my thighs together.

  “Fingers and mouth first, okay?”

  I nod before squeezing my eyes closed as I feel his warm breath there.

  “And we may have to end up with an IOU on the third one because—dammit, Piper, so tight.”

  I moan with delight when the tip of one finger presses into my entrance.

  “I won’t last once I’m inside of you.” His finger continues to work, and I refuse to look down at him, knowing he’s cataloging my responses. “It’s going to hurt, and I won’t have time to get you there.”

  “Dalton!” I screech when his thumb gets in on the action and begins to circle my clit at a torturously slow pace.

  “Feel good, baby?”

  “So good. So, so, so good.”

  “How about this?”

  My eyes snap open at the first luxurious lick of his hot tongue. With his finge
r still inside of me, curling and pulsing in some magical way, his tongue takes over for his thumb, and it’s life-changing.

  No longer worried about embarrassment, I flex my neck and prop myself up on my elbows so I can watch what he’s doing to me.

  He grins, the corners of his mouth curling up as his tongue works me into a frenzy. Like a maniac, I nod my head over and over as something amazing builds inside of me. It only spurs him on, one finger becoming two, his tongue focusing on that one tiny spot that throbs for him.

  Without warning, my body convulses, and the pressure that was building inside of me ruptures into a series of moans and pulses, radiating from where he is to each of my extremities. It’s so powerful, I have to dash tears from my eyes. So that’s what a good orgasm feels like? Give me a million more because it was phenomenal.

  His mouth still works me, his fingers edging deeper, but the overload of sensations makes me shove his head away forcefully. He smiles again, undeterred by the aggressiveness I just displayed.

  “Feel good?” He licks at his lips as he waits for my answer.

  My breathing is ragged as if I had just run a marathon rather than having laid here merely as a semi-active participant in what he just did.

  “Can we do it again?” I beg.

  Taking me seriously, Dalton begins to lower himself back down.

  “Get up here.” I pull him to me, pressing my mouth to his before even realizing what I’m doing. A tanginess fills my mouth, and it’s almost weird enough to make me back out of the kiss, but then he moans in my mouth, sweeping his tongue over mine, and I’m once again lost to him.

  He doesn’t pull away from me as he reaches down and shoves his basketball shorts off his hips, and he only pulls his lips away an inch to get his shirt off, and here we are, both completely naked. His warm flesh covers mine, and the thickness between his legs rests perfectly at my core, hot and needy.

  “Are you sure?” he asks, his lips trailing down my jaw.

  “I’m sure,” I tell him. “Condom?”

  “Fuck. Yeah. I almost forgot.” It’s only a matter of seconds before he reaches into his bedside table, opens a new box of condoms, pulls one from the pack, sheaths himself, and settles back between my thighs.