Then, he moved his head . . . and saw me.
He smiled, the same smile I once loved and thought was so angelic. How pathetic I was to think that way? There wasn't an ounce of angelic in his body.
He carefully walked towards me, watching me. I stood my ground, because really I couldn't have done otherwise. He stopped when we were only a feet apart from each other.
“Hey.”
Something in me snapped when I heard him speak. Suddenly, I found my own voice. There was nothing in me but firmness and anger. How dare he show his face to me?
“What the hell are you doing here, Ryan?” I spat in a cold voice.
“I missed you,” he shrugged.
“Go away,” I told him with gritted teeth.
I walked around him, but he grabbed my arm to stop me.
“Not until you forgive me,” he pleaded.
I pulled my arm away from him. He let me, thank God.
“Give me another chance. Give us another chance. C'mon, Bri.”
“Do not call me that,” I warned him. If looks could kill, he'd be dead by now. “Only those I trust can call me that.”
“We're crazy in love and happy together,” he reminded me. “Don't throw that away just because I made a mistake.”
“No, you made mistakes,” I corrected him. “And past tense, Ryan: We were in love and we were not happy. That was a lifetime ago. Now, 'us' is a mere history I'd love to forget.”
“We were good together, you know.”
“Screw you,” I grunted. “You were only good to yourself, not to me.”
“I did more than screw you,” he muttered.
I blinked.
There it was. His son of a bitch personality. I was waiting for that to come out. It didn't take him long to show his true colors. At least, not this time.
I swore to myself that I would never shed a tear in front of this guy ever again. But that kind of history still hurts sometimes, especially when the object of your pain was rubbing that fact to your face.
“Yeah,” I breathed out, nodding slowly. “My mistake, right?”
“I won't hurt you again,” he promised, his voice soft.
“I'm sick of hearing that fucking lie, you know that?” I hissed angrily.
“I mean it this time!”
“Just do me a favor, Ryan. Do me a favor and stay away from me.”
With that, I continued to walk towards my apartment building.
“I can't do that,” he called out to me. “I won't go anywhere 'til you have me back.”
I didn't turn around. I pretended that I didn't hear what he said. I just continued walking until I was climbing the stairs, opening the door to the building, going up another set of steps, and finally opening the door to the apartment.
But of course, I heard him. And how I wish I hadn't.
The first thing I did was tell Sarah. As soon as I threw myself at the couch beside her, I told her my little conversation with Ryan. Boy, was she pissed.
“I told you, you should've filed a restraining order months ago,” she scolded me.
I sighed. “He was leaving the state then. I didn't think it was necessary.”
“Better safe than sorry. Isn't that what your dad used to say?”
I looked away because she was right.
“He won't do anything stupid,” I said. I felt like I was trying to convince myself more than with Sarah. “He knows that I own a gun.”
“I have a bad feeling about this, Bri.” Sarah shook her head.
There was silence, which was unusual for Sarah so I glanced at her. Her lips were pressed together and her forehead was creased thoughtfully, like she was deciding something.
“What are you thinking?” I asked, impatient to know what she was thinking.
“I think you should tell Leo about Ryan,” she told me seriously.
I looked at her like she was out of her mind.
“What?!” I exclaimed.
“A guy like Leo can protect you from a lunatic like Ryan.”
I frowned deeply. “No way. I can protect myself just fine.”
“Yeah,” she snorted sarcastically, “like you protected yourself last time.”
I didn't reply. Instead, I took a deep breath while my hand reached up to my temple and massaged it. Involuntarily, flashbacks from the past came crashing back to me.
It wasn't my fault that I fell in love with him. At least, to the charming version of himself. I didn't have a clue that he was a two-faced bastard. Who could've known that he grew jealous so bad? I mean, he was good-looking. Seriously, what was he so worried about? He didn't have to be that possessive of me. But of course, he was anyway.
I haven't dated a guy ever since.
Then, Leo came along.
I didn't know what possessed me then to believe Ryan every time he apologized for hurting me. It was probably because of his damned beautiful smile. Or maybe it was my inner hope that he would eventually grow up and change. He didn't, though. And by the time I realized I had enough of his crap, he was already in too deep.
See, Ryan's family was loaded. Therefore, they were influential. That was why I couldn't just press charges against him. It was too costly for me. I didn't want to bother with all those legal things. Plus, I just wanted him out of my life. That was it.
George helped me with that. He talked to Ryan back then. I didn't know much about the details about it, other than that they had an ugly fight and Ryan lost.
Sarah told me that George was pretty influential himself. And he knew much about laws and civil rights, at that. Like I said, I didn't know much what happened then. I just knew that George managed to convince Ryan to leave.
But he was back.
The next night, I finally got the courage to tell my sister. I decided to tell her who was back in town, just so she would be cautious and wouldn't be surprised.
At first, she had a scared look on her face. Then, it was replaced by anger. In the end, it was worry. She was worried for me. Of course, I consoled her and told her everything was going to be okay. Ryan wouldn't go near them. He wouldn't do anything stupid.
“Leo's here!” yelled Sarah from the living room.
Ariana and I exchanged glances.
“Yeah, I'll be there in a sec!” I called back out. I ran a hand through my blonde locks, stressed about the thought that I had to put up a happy face.
“Are you going to tell him about your psycho ex?” Ariana asked me.
I shook my head. “No.”
“Why not, Bri?”
“It's not his problem,” I shrugged, getting up from her bed.
I flashed her a weak smile before heading to the living room. I met Sarah on the hallway. As she passed me, she whispered something under her breath.
“Think about it.”
I rolled my eyes, knowing what she was talking about. Honestly, I didn't really see what the big deal was. Leo didn't have to know anything about Ryan. We were only friends – with benefits, yes. But that didn't mean we had to be involved so much in each other's lives.
I mean, that's why we arranged this whole thing in the first place.
When I got to the living room, I saw that Leo was by the kitchen counter carrying a paper bag. After everything that happened earlier this evening, just looking at his handsome face made me feel all better.
“Hi,” he said quietly, smiling at me.
“Hi,” I greeted back.
When I was close enough, he leaned over and kissed me softly on the lips. I had a whiff of his perfume. He always smelled so good.
“I bought Chinese food,” he told me, gesturing to the paper bag in his hands.
“Thanks.”
I took the bag from him and placed it on the high counter. I refused to meet his eyes because somehow I felt that if I looked at them long enough, he'd see past through the poker face I was trying to keep in place.
It was strange; the more I got to know him, the harder it was not to trust him or keep something from him.
“Is everything all right?” he asked out of the blue, concern filled his voice. He sat on a stool across from me, watching me with those piercing blue eyes of his.
“What, why?” I snorted, feinting surprise.
Busying myself, I focused on taking out the food from the bag.
“You look distracted,” he commented.
“Oh, it's nothing,” I said, glancing at him and waving a hand dismissively.
He didn't say anything after that. For a moment, I thought that maybe he dropped the subject. When I looked up from what I was doing, I saw that he was watching me all along.
He placed his elbows on the counter.
“And I'm supposed to believe that?”
I took a deep breath before looking down and opening the plastic containers on the food. I really couldn't lie to him with a straight face. I inwardly cursed my feelings for him.
“Yep,” I answered uneasily.
His hand reached across and gently held my chin up, forcing me to stop what I was doing and look him in the eye.
“Something's up,” he concluded firmly. “What is it?”
Should I tell him? Would things turn out better if I informed him that my ex-boyfriend who used to hurt me was back in town? Would it help matters at all? Did he even care? I didn't think he was the jealous guy, if truth be told.
No, I wouldn't tell him. It wasn't his problem.
So I flashed him my best smile, showing him that everything was perfect.
“Really, it's nothing important,” I assured him, bringing my right hand up to his that was on my chin. I pulled it down and squeezed it, easing his mind. Then, I glanced at the food. “I'm starving. Sarah and Ari already ate. How about you?”
We held each other's gaze for a moment, then he nodded and smiled.
“I was hoping we can eat dinner together,” he shrugged, mocking innocence.
I laughed through my nose. “Fine by me.” I walked around the counter and settled myself on the stool beside him.
At the same time, we split our chopsticks and began eating.
“By the way,” I started, “Michael asked Jack about me yesterday in the restaurant.”
Leo chuckled. “Yeah, he told me. I guess you're on his friends list now.”
Wow. Friends with Michael Vanderbilt. Even though I didn't care about their status in society, I had to admit that I felt a little honored.
“That's flattering,” I murmured.
“Is it?”
“Well, yeah,” I nodded. “You wouldn't understand because you're used to it. Plus, you're one of them. I'm like a commoner – and don't say other wise. I know where I stand.”
He sighed. “Stop stereotyping.”
“It's true,” I said defensively, my voice muffled because of the food in my mouth.
“So you say.” He smirked, after taking a drink off the can of soda. “You do know that it's rude to talk when your mouth is full, don't you?”
I glowered at him, not able to speak a retort because I just took another bite of food. Therefore, my mouth was full.
I couldn't believe he just told me off for having bad manners. That was embarrassing as heck – especially when it came from him.
Suddenly, there was a noise from the apartment buzzer.
Leo frowned slightly, while I glanced at the clock.
“Past eleven,” I mumbled.
“Isn't it a little late?” said Leo.
“It is,” I agreed, jumping off the stool and walking to the buzzer. Pressing the button, I inquired, “Who is it?”
“It's Ryan.”
I instantly withdrew my finger from the machine.
Crap. Crap. Crap.
“I have something for you.”
I glanced at Leo, causing him to raise his eyebrows. I had to keep my cool.
“Now is not a good time,” I told Ryan, pressing the button again. “Go home, Ryan.”
“How is it not a good time?”
I sighed. “In case you're not aware, it's almost midnight. People sleep at this time.”
“I saw your lights still on from the window even before I buzzed. Now, come on. Let me up so we can talk. Or at least just let me hand my gift to you.”
Why wouldn't he just go away?!
I heard a phone ring and my eyes wandered to Leo.
“Hello?” he answered, his eyes stayed on me. “Can't you handle it? . . . All right, fine. Where are you? . . . I'm not that far. Wait for me.” When he hung up, he looked away and took a deep breath as though he was trying to calm himself. I thought I heard him murmur, “Fucking idiot.”
“Are you leaving already?” I asked, dreading what the answer might be. I didn't want him to leave yet – not with Ryan right outside the apartment building.
Okay, now I get what Sarah was saying about telling Leo.
“Yeah,” he breathed out. “I have to take care of something.” He looked at me seriously and nodded to the buzzer. “What's the deal with this guy?”
“It's nothing,” I said, shaking my head. “He's just some guy I used to date.”
“Getting old here, Bri.”
I winced. I hated it when he called me that.
Leo, noticing my uneasiness, frowned sternly.
“Please do not tell me it's that asshole's voice I'm hearing,” snapped Sarah, walking out from her bedroom. She looked really irate.
“Sarah,” I warned her, giving her a look.
Leo switched his eyes from Sarah to me.
“I'm not comfortable leaving you with that person outside and waiting,” he told me in a final tone. His brows were knit together, giving this aura not to mess with him.
“Same here,” muttered Sarah seriously, crossing her arms over her chest.
Leo's eyes switched between Sarah and I again.
“I feel like I'm missing something here,” he said.
I looked at Sarah. We were staring at each other, not breaking eye contact. This was one of the advantages of having a best friend. We could have a silent conversation with the use of our eyes. I wasn't sure how it worked, but that was one of the many mysteries in life.
She gave me the look that said, 'Are you really not planning on telling everything?'
In answer to her quiet question, I frowned and tilted my head.
“I'll handle it,” I declared. After uttering the last word, I turned around and pressed the button on the machine. “I'm coming down.”
“Finally.”
I gritted my teeth. He was the last face I wanted to see, but I felt like I had to prove to everyone that I was in control. And I was – even if I really didn't feel like it.
“Not alone, you're not,” added Leo, following me when I opened the door.
I stopped and looked at him. As soon as we made eye contact, I knew that there was no argument. He was going to come with me.
“Fine,” I breathed out.
We continued down the stairs in silence. But then, he spoke.
“What's really the deal here, B?”
I stared straight ahead.
“I could literally feel the tension between you and Sarah about this guy,” he said quietly. “What, is he bothering you?”
As though my silence was the answer, he suddenly stopped walking.
“Hold on, is he the reason why you're so distracted tonight?”
I halted on my tracks and turned to him.
“Leo, he's . . .”
“He's getting back together with you,” he concluded indifferently, right to the dot.
The way he put the pieces of the puzzle together impressed and astonished me at the same time. It slightly scared me too, because it was gave me the feeling that I couldn't put anything past him.
I couldn't read his face. Gazing up at him in the middle of the dim corridor, knowing that he was confronting me about my ex-boyfriend when the lines of our own relationship was pretty much blurred, I couldn't help but think of how much I wanted to be with him.
Just be with him.
The scary part was that I was already aware of the fact that I was in love with him. And the scariest part . . . I had no idea how Leo felt.
Without thinking about it, I stepped closer to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, filling myself with his warmth.
God, why did things had to be complicated? Why couldn't he just be officially mine, without the fear of other people ruining this for us?
For a moment, he was frozen – clearly not expecting me to do that. But slowly, I felt him put his arms around me. I felt his lips kiss the top of my head softly.
I sighed out loud in satisfaction.
I wanted us to stay like this forever – just in each other's arms like this.
We stayed like that for what felt like a long time, but it still wasn't enough. I didn't want to go back to reality yet, but the fact that Ryan was just a wall away from us couldn't seem to leave my mind.
“He wants me back,” I murmured, confirming what he suspected.
I felt him tense. Despite that, his voice remained calm and soft.
“Do you want him back?” he asked in a whisper.
“No.” I want you.
“Then, what's the problem?”
“He won't go away 'til he gets what he wants.”
Well, there. I told him the truth. It wasn't exactly what Sarah wanted me to tell him. But honestly, what was the point if I told Leo that Ryan used to hurt me? It was in the past. The facts of today was more important.
Leo didn't speak for a few seconds, then he loosened his grip on me and pulled away. I raised my head to look at him, and saw that his eyes were far away.
He looked . . . well, pissed off.
“Too bad for him, then,” he muttered in a low voice.
He started for the main entrance and I quickly followed after him. When we got outside, he stopped at the bottom of the front steps. I went beside him to see why he halted. He was frowning at something. Following his eyes, I immediately knew who he was glaring at even before I saw the the arrogant posture.
I had always thought that Leo was arrogant. He was, of course. But I only now realized that it was more of confidence than arrogance, really. Seeing Ryan now, the asshole was just a stuck up jerk that didn't know when to stop.
“Who the fuck is this?” Ryan nodded to Leo harshly.
I winced, remembering the times he used the same tone with me. Those were bad memories. I reminded myself that he had no power over me now. I wasn't in love with him anymore. I was stronger than I used to be.
Against All Odds Choices (2ndt in a series of contemporary romance books for Kindle) Page 4