by Emma Nichols
‘You don’t love her?’ he asked.
‘No, I do,’ she responded. ‘Just…’ she paused. ‘It’s not like it was when we were in Uni. I thought I was in love with her, but now, so much has changed.’
Craig frowned.
‘I do love her, and I care about her, but I’m not in love with her,’ she said. Expressing the words aloud seemed to settle the feeling of apprehension that had occupied her thoughts since the night before leaving for the rig. The slight relief felt good and strengthened her resolve. ‘I just need to find a way to tell her,’ she added.
‘Yup,’ Craig responded, staring at her.
She released a long breath.
‘Anyone else?’ he asked, knowing the answer. He scratched at his rugged cheeks and lounged back into the seat, placing his arms across his chest.
She released another long breath. ‘No,’ she said, her eyes lowering to the table, Iman’s reflection staring back at her. ‘That’s complicated too,’ she added, with a deep sigh.
‘Ah huh. Ya’s gotta lotta complicated goin’ on,’ he said, shaking his head and standing. He slapped her affectionately on the arm. ‘Ya wanna smoke?’ he asked, heading towards the kitchen clearing-hatch and placing his empty mug on the shelf.
‘Yup.’
‘Jeez,’ he said, as the blast of heat hit them and sweat beaded on his forehead instantly.
‘Yep, hotter than hell,’ she said, heading straight for the perimeter boundary. She pulled out the pouch as she walked, fiddled with the sheet of paper to open it, and strung out the thin line of tobacco. She had the roll-up between her lips and lit one pace short of the boundary.
‘I’ll card ya for that,’ Craig teased.
‘Fuck off,’ she joked, knowing he wouldn’t report her for smoking one step before the perimeter. Inhaling and breathing out the smoke, fixated on the image of Iman in her flowing dress and the intensity behind her light-brown eyes, she moaned. She inhaled again, staring into the vast expanse and the waves of sand that stretched into infinity. Only the persistent pounding and grinding of metal on metal interrupted the desert’s natural beauty. ‘Look,’ she said, pointing to the movement in the sand. A scorpion darted in front of them; its tail poised.
Craig scanned the sand by his feet and started hopping from one foot to the other. ‘Long as there ’s no fuckin’ spiders,’ he said. ‘Hate ‘em critters.’
‘You wuss,’ she teased, slapping him on the arm. She stamped out the last of the roll-up and blew out the smoke from her lungs. ‘Come on darlin’,’ she teased. ‘I want to get that separator connected tonight. Can you go see if they can get that crossover fixed? If not, we’ll need one first thing!’
‘Uh huh’, he said, heading towards the workshop. ‘Tarek’s on it.’
*
Ashley groaned. The hot water was too hot. It was always too hot! She eased under the shower resting her hands against the cubicle wall. Slowly adjusting to the temperature, she leaned her head into the spray and allowed it to flow down over her aching body. She moved her feet, and they found the gritty water in the shower bowl. She raised her foot and washed the underside, massaging its arch. Standing tall, she pressed her thumb and fingers into her right shoulder, trying to relieve the tension that had built there.
‘Ya gonna be long?’ Craig hollered.
‘Yep,’ she shouted back, starting to laugh. She took the shower gel in her hand and rubbed it into her cheeks, progressing down her body and down her legs, her senses invigorated by the fresh citrus and spicy tones of juniper and rosemary; the detoxifying effect helping to ease her tired muscles. She rinsed the suds slowly, finally appreciating the heat of the water. Stepping out of the shower, she rubbed the small towel roughly through her hair and then loosely down her body. Still damp, she threw on her t-shirt and shorts and stepped into the room. ‘All yours,’ she said. Craig dived in and shut the door.
She pulled back the curtain separating her bunk from his and lay on the thin mattress, resting her hands under the back of her head. Drifting with the running water from the shower cubical and Craig’s tenor voice through the thin wall, her eyes wandered to the cloth-covered tin on the low table next to her bed. She pulled herself up, reached for the tin, and wrestled off its stiff lid. The sweet-nutty aroma assaulted her senses, and she swallowed. She toyed with the differently wrapped sweets, her eyes selecting one, her fingers unwrapping it.
‘Ya fixin’ t’ give me one?’ Craig interrupted, the sweet poised at Ashley’s lips.
She popped the dark chocolate into her mouth and groaned. ‘Nope,’ she moaned, closing the lid on the tin before Craig’s hand reached it.
‘Come on, fess up; ya know ya wanna share.’ He put on his best doe-eyed look, and she started laughing.
She wiped at the corner of her mouth, trying to contain the melting chocolate that had caused her jaw to ache with ecstasy. ‘They’re soo good,’ she said, teasing him.
He stood; towel wrapped around his waist, a wicked grin spanning his face. He made a move to unwrap the towel and started to expose his leg, threatening to reveal more.
Ashley’s brows rose, and she started to splutter. She opened the tin and presented it to him. ‘Fuck, bud, put it away and take one,’ she said, still choking on the crushed nuts, hidden inside the chocolate shell.
Craig tucked the towel back in place, unwrapped a purple-covered sweet and popped it into his mouth. ‘I’ll be damned,’ he said, throwing himself onto his bed, chuckling. ‘These are reeal good!’ He sneaked his arm across the space, seeking out the tin.
She slapped the lid on and pulled it out of reach. ‘Tomorrow,’ she said.
‘I’ll trade ya,’ he said.
‘Yep. Tomorrow.’ She closed the curtain and turned towards the wall, thoughts of Iman causing her stomach to flutter. She tossed and turned.
‘Tarek couldn’t fix that fuckin’ crossover,’ Craig said, rustling noises accompanying his words. ‘I’ve asked the base to send one first thing. Kate’s gonna bring it, she wants t’ introduce herself t’ the company man,’ he added.
Ashley tensed down the length of her body. ‘Good,’ she responded, but the tone was wrong. Kate’s image now sat at the front of her mind. The light fluttering that had warmed her chest had turned to full-on stress burning in her solar plexus, and her heart raced. She released her clenched fists and tried to soften her jaw. She’d have to tell Kate sooner rather than later.
14.
‘So?’ Muhammad asked, staring at his daughter’s back as she studied the paperwork in her hand.
She turned to face him, and he placed a cup of tea in her hand. Her heart sank at his heavy lids and flat features, which didn’t match the enthusiasm in his voice. He tried to smile, but it was still lacking. ‘I need a three-month visa for the training,’ she said, pacing the room. ‘Or a work visa, which might take six months or more to come through, if I have a job to go to,’ she continued.
‘We can get you a job,’ he offered, sipping his tea. ‘If you’re willing to wait that long?’ It was more than a simple question.
Ash’s smiling face, the cute blonde bob tucked behind her ear, and the dark-blue eyes that seemed to expose something intangible stopped her. She sighed at the dull resignation that disturbed her thoughts. ‘If I go on the course first then I can start sooner,’ she said. He nodded. ‘I can come back after the course and apply for a full visa,’ she continued. The idea that Ash might have moved on by then struck her, and she moved her hand to chest. Nausea passed quickly, replaced by sharp spasms contracting in her gut. She gripped around her waist, her eyes grasping for something on which to focus, other than her father.
‘Are you okay Immy?’ he asked softly, placing his steady hand on her shoulder and pulling her into his arms.
She snuffled in response. ‘I think so,’ she said. ‘I just don’t know…’ She rested in his arms until the sniffling eased.
‘Whatever you decide now, you can always choose not to go,’ he said, kissing her soft
ly on the top of her head. ‘Minds do change.’
She stood taller, comforted by his words, and with renewed determination. ‘I need to get lunch across to the base,’ she said, dabbing at the corner of her eyes with the edge of the apron hanging from her waist. The thought of seeing Kate at the canteen caused a surge of anxiety, but she breathed deeply, maintaining her resolve to remain professional.
‘We can talk later,’ he said. ‘There’s plenty of time, no need to rush into anything.’
She smiled and kissed him on the cheek. ‘Thank you,’ she whispered.
*
Kate tapped at the keyboard, stopped, deleted, and started again. Finally accepting defeat, she huffed and stood.
The jittery feeling hadn’t lifted since Ash had headed out to the rig. She had been desperate to see her, but it had been too soon to arrange a spot check, as they hadn’t started testing yet. She’d jumped at the chance to personally deliver the crossover, under the guise of introducing herself to the company man, but now she was feeling even more anxious at the idea of facing Ash!
She rubbed her hands through her hair, massaged her scalp, and rubbed her palms across her eyes. She picked up the mug of coffee, sipped, and winced at the cold, oily texture of the liquid. She placed the cup back on the desk and headed for the base canteen.
She stepped into the room, wiped at the sweat that had formed at her hairline in the short distance from the office cabin, and inhaled the sweet smelling aroma.
‘Hi Katherine, can I get you anything?’ Iman asked. She hadn’t been able to soften her tone or bring herself to use the more familiar ‘Kate’ that she had adopted from the start of their acquaintance, and her smile lacked its usual openness and warmth, the image of Katherine kissing Ash by the pool clouding her senses.
‘Can I get a decent coffee?’ Katherine pleaded. ‘The stuff from that is woeful,’ she said, indicating to the industrial machine at the end of the food counter.
Iman softened at the honest assessment, smiled and nodded. ‘I’ll make you a proper one,’ she said.
‘Thanks.’ Katherine picked up a tray, selected the falafel, hummus and pita bread and moved down to the sweet dishes, choosing a sticky cookie topped with chopped dates and walnuts. Lunch was drawing to an end, and all bar one table was empty. She sat at the furthest point from the remaining two workers in the room, pondering and picking at the food on her plate.
Iman approached with a steaming pot of freshly brewed coffee and placed it on the table. ‘It’s good,’ Iman said, Kate’s pensive look drawing an inquisitive smile.
Kate’s eyes held Iman’s gaze. ‘If you made it, it will be,’ she said, her smile tight, her eyes laden with something akin to sadness. Loss? Remorse? Kate stared, her eyes searching. ‘Will you sit for a minute?’ she asked.
Iman’s breath caught, and she paused. ‘I…’ she started, but couldn’t deny the pain emanating from the dark-green eyes. ‘Yes, of course,’ she said.
‘Lunch is finished.’ She nodded towards the counter and slid into the seat opposite Kate, waiting for her to speak.
Kate poured the coffee into her cup. ‘Would you like one?’ she asked.
Iman blinked, rose from the seat and collected a cup from the counter.
‘Can I talk to you?’ Kate asked, staring into her eyes as she returned to sit.
Iman tried not to avoid Kate, but her eyes flicked around the woman’s face, settling on the full lips that were starting to quiver. ‘Yes,’ she said, keeping the tension in her body from being exposed through her voice. She sat upright, poured a coffee, and sipped from the cup. ‘How can I help?’ she asked. Please don’t let this be about Ash.
‘I know you know Ash quite well,’ she started.
Iman cringed, feeling the heat rise in her chest and the gaping hole that had just opened in her stomach. She sipped at the coffee in her hand without answering the question.
‘And she respects you a lot,’ Katherine continued.
Iman winced as the coffee shot into her mouth more quickly than she had expected. She placed her cup on the table and a napkin to the burning sensation on her top lip. With her heart racing, she breathed in, the air coming out as a deep sigh.
‘Sorry, I was wondering whether you two talk,’ she said, dipping the bread into the hummus. ‘I was wondering if she’d said anything about us.’ She added, looking up from the dip that she continued to prod at, aimlessly.
Iman’s mouth opened and then closed. She swallowed down the lump in her throat and took in a breath. ‘Um, no, she hasn’t. We don’t really talk,’ Iman said, thankful for the small truth.
Katherine nodded slowly, put down the bread, and sipped at her coffee.
‘You look… worried,’ Iman said, for want of a more fitting word.
Katherine shrugged and turned to the window. ‘We were together for some time,’ she said.
Iman’s eyes lowered to her clammy hands, fiddling them in her lap, and cleared her throat.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you. I got the impression you were…’ Her eyes turned towards Iman, as Iman’s eyes lifted. Their meeting provided the certainty Kate had assumed, and she nodded almost imperceptibly. ‘I thought so,’ she said, turning back to the window. ‘Do you like her?’ Katherine asked suddenly, her tone shifting to something more defensive.
Iman froze. Her shoulders rose, and her jaw opened as she gasped for breath. She couldn’t speak.
‘It’s okay. I’m not going to say anything,’ Katherine confirmed, her tone now flat, sombre even, her eyes still focused on nothing particular on the other side of the window. ‘You’ve answered my question,’ she said.
Iman remained silent, fighting the unease that paralysed her. It was a war she would lose.
‘You know we made love before she went to the rig?’ Katherine said, turning her head as she spoke, fixing her gaze on Iman again. Her dark-green eyes had darkened.
Iman gulped, shifting her gaze to her shaking hands, then out the window.
‘I thought so,’ Kate continued. ‘I thought I saw you at the party, watching us,’ she added.
Iman’s eyes had started to water, and she rubbed at them, sweeping away the tears that were falling onto her cheeks.
Katherine leaned back in the seat, studying the young woman intently. ‘You’re in love with her,’ she stated.
Iman’s chin dropped, her world collapsing under the weight of Katherine’s words. She couldn’t stop the quivering that was now consuming her whole body. Anything she said would just come out wrong, or make her look vulnerable, or stupid. She stood slowly, turned, and walked with as much grace as she could muster until she reached the kitchen. Placing her hands on the sides of the sink, she stood until the shaking abated, trying not to throw up. The tears dried and the anger buried itself, leaving her with a greater sense of certainty. She needed to leave Syria, sooner rather than later.
*
‘Ya got that pipe tightened?’ Craig bellowed.
Tarek’s arms halted, the heavy hammer resting precariously in mid-air, sweat streaming down his temples. Damn connections! ‘I’ve got it,’ he groaned, his teeth clenched, the veins in his forearms bulging. Letting the hammer drop, the thundering crack of steel on steel vibrated through the ground and he lifted it again. Another crack got lost in the desert.
Craig turned his back, looked at the paper in his hand, then up, his eyes scanning around the site before landing on Dan. ‘Dan!’ he yelled. Dan looked up and gave the thumbs up. The separator was up and running. He made a mark on the piece of paper and headed for the lab cabin.
Ash yanked on the heavy chain securing the piping to the ground. It didn’t budge. She moved onto the next one, and the next. ‘Check your chains, Dan,’ she yelled over the banging. He looked up giving another thumbs up and started checking the metal rings were firmly attached to the ground. ‘You got the Emergency Shut Down stations installed?’ she shouted. Dan responded again, and she reciprocated with double-thumbs up. ‘Get that las
t piping hammered in and we’re good to go,’ she said. Tarek nodded, letting the hammer rest at his feet.
She stood, rubbed at her plugged ears, squinted into the blinding sun, and inhaled the soothing, sweet, earthy, aroma of the clay from the mud-tanks. ‘Break,’ she yelled. She swiped at the sweat dripping from her hardhat and reached into her coveralls pocket. Pulling out the pouch, she headed for the boundary. As soon as she stepped over the line, she slumped to the ground and lit the roll-up. Craig’s long legs were already heading in her direction. She rolled him a cigarette and handed it up to him as he reached her.
‘Thanks,’ he said, pulling out his lighter. ‘So, looks like we’re close,’ he said.
‘Yep.’ She drew down, the red tip brightening, sucked in the drug and started reeling off the checklist. ‘We’re nearly connected,’ she said with a wry smile. ‘ESD’s are all hooked up, separator’s checked, and the acquisition network is hooked up to the lab cabin.’ She drew down again and blew out slowly. ‘And it’s still fucking hotter than hell.’
‘Briefin’ first thing, then we’ll move t’ shifts. We’ll pressure test with Tarek once the wellhead‘s connected.’ he said, puffing out rings and blowing them into the sun. ‘No rush, the plan‘s t’ fire the guns-in-hole after the briefin’, once the pressure tests are complete. Ya can go to bed now sleepin’ beauty.’ He sucked, breathed in hard, and blew out a long stream of smoke, which hovered in the heat, before drifting slowly away.
Ash rolled her eyes, stomped on the end of the cigarette and started filling another paper. ‘Will Kate be at the briefing?’ she asked.
‘No. She’ll drop the crossover early, then prep for the client meetin’. Ya’ll be asleep,’ he teased.
She slapped his shin. The adjustment to night shift would take a day or two, but maybe she could hide out in her cabin after the briefing and avoid Kate.
‘What?’ He failed to sound innocent, and she slapped him again.
‘Coffee?’ she asked, standing and finishing the cigarette.