by Cari Quinn
His lips fell over hers, their tongues matching the tempo of their hips as they moved together as one. Every stroke was pure heaven. Every kiss spoke of whispered promises that this wouldn’t be the last time they’d be joined like this. Every caress begged her to let him into her heart.
She fought against falling, but her struggle was in vain. She knew Ben wouldn’t quit until she was his. Everything he did was a plea for her surrender. His kisses grew more demanding. His thrusts became harder and faster. His hands explored her curves, lavishing extra attention on her sensitive breasts. The tightness in her womb returned, only this time, it coiled through her body, bending her will, breaking it, and finally forcing her to surrender completely to him.
His name fell from her lips as the orgasm rushed through her like a pulsating storm. It was wild and savage, ferocious and untamed, unrelenting in its course until it claimed all of her. She should’ve expected nothing less from Ben. He was the only man who’d instinctively known how to please her. This was the reward for her gamble, for trusting him enough to open up to him.
He repeated her name over and over again like a man caught in the throes of a fever, his movements quick and frantic. He plunged into her one final time and stilled, his face contorted in a mix of pleasure and pain. “Hailey,” he said in one long moan before collapsing on top of her.
Minutes passed before she realized they were both shaking. Ben lifted his head and gave her a sleepy, satisfied grin. “Maybe we should crawl under the covers.” He pulled the down duvet over her naked body and cradled her against him. “That was even better than I remembered.”
An hour ago, she wouldn’t have thought it possible for him to outdo his performance from that night, but he’d proven her wrong. She nodded, unable to trust her tongue to form coherent words.
“Just promise me one thing, Hailey?”
“What?”
“Wake me up before you leave this time.”
She smiled and settled into his embrace, not even questioning how well they fit together. “I promise.”
She closed her eyes and drifted off into blissful sleep. As the post-orgasmic hum faded, her dreams took flight. Zach was running in a field of wildflowers like the ones that surrounded Ben’s cabin, laughing without a care in the world. His joy seized her heart, infecting it until she felt as free and happy as her son. Ben stood behind her, holding her in his arms while they watched their son play.
In a perfect world, it would’ve been like this, with her son still alive and his father by her side. Zach stopped and came up to her, taking her hand in his and looking up at her with those steely blue eyes that were so like his father’s. “Don’t forget,” he whispered before letting her go and running back into the fields.
The images faded into blackness, reminding her it was nothing more than a dream. Zach was gone, and she had yet to tell Ben about him. Guilt and grief eroded at her joy, tearing it apart until a sob broke free from her throat.
Chapter Eleven
Ben jerked awake at the sound of a mournful wail.
Hailey was lying with her back to him, curled up in a shaking, sniffling ball.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, reaching for her, but she rolled out of bed and ran into the bathroom. A minute later, the sound of running water drowned out her sobs.
He sat up and ran his hands along his face. What the fuck did I do this time?
He waited for her to reemerge from the bathroom, to explain her behavior, but as the minutes ticked by, his confusion and frustration grew. He’d tried to be patient, tried to give her space when she had retreated from him, but his pride could only take so much, especially when a woman ran away crying after he’d made love to her. It was time to ask the hard questions and not back down until he got answers.
He jumped out of bed, his feet striking the floor with the same determination as his endeavor to uncover the truth. He opened the bathroom door and froze.
Hailey sat in the corner of the shower, her knees drawn up to her chest, her lean body wracked with sobs.
It hit him like a punch to the gut. All this time, he’d only seen the tough hockey player, the confident woman who went after what she wanted. Now, he was witnessing another side to her. This Hailey was fragile and lost, and his arms longed to comfort her.
She snapped her head up and peered at him through the fogged-up glass. Terror gleamed in her eyes before she wiped them with the back of her hand and turned away. She struggled to rise, climbing up the wall for balance. “Sorry,” she mumbled.
“Don’t apologize.” He opened the glass door and stepped into the warm water. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
She tried to push past him, but he grabbed her by the shoulders and blocked her exit. “Tough.”
“Let me go, Ben.”
“Not until you tell me why you’re sitting in my shower, crying.”
“It’s none of your business.” Her upper lip curled into a snarl, and her blue eyes flashed in anger. This was the Hailey he knew, the fighter. Only now, he wished she’d disappear so he could solve the mystery of the side she kept hidden from him.
“And what if I want to make it my business?” He closed the space between them, blocking her deeper into the corner where she couldn’t escape. “I care about you, Hailey. I want to be a part of your life, but I can’t do it if you keep shutting me out.”
She lifted her chin, but the growing tremble in it belied the stubborn gesture. Her shoulders slumped, and the tears started falling again. “Ben, I wish I could—”
He guided her face back to him, his gaze locked with hers. “Tell me, please.”
Her hands curled into fists, and for a second, he worried that she would punch him before telling him why she was crying. Instead, she banged them against the tile wall. A savage cry broke free from her chest, and her body shook from whatever struggle was waging inside her.
“I’m sorry, Ben.” She lowered her head and wrapped her arms around her chest. “I’ve been closed off for so long that now I’m…”
She seemed to be retreating again, so he stepped closer, pulled her body against his, and tucked her head under his chin. “You what?”
“I didn’t want to feel anything. I didn’t want to hurt. So I buried myself in the game, in my ridiculous pursuit of a dream, just so I’d have something else to focus on other than the pain. And for a while, it worked. It got me out of bed every day and kept me going. And then you had to come back into my life and challenge this shell of numbness I’d wrapped myself in.”
She slipped her arms under his and clung to him. “Tonight, you reminded me what it was like to feel again—the good and the bad. I know I can’t have one without the other, but you make it worth the risk. You’ve made me remember what joy feels like. You make me want to toss away my isolation and connect to someone. You make me feel alive, and even though I’m scared to death I’ll get hurt again, I still want you.”
He hugged her close, hoping his strength would aid her. “I don’t want to cause you any pain.”
“And you haven’t.” She lifted her head. Her nose and eyes were red from crying, but he caught a glimpse of hope that he hadn’t seen before her confession. “Everything’s been my fault. But I can’t live in the past and let it dictate my future, Ben. All I can do is accept what I have now and treasure it before it’s gone.”
She took his hands and clasped them together between their chests, covering them with her own. “You talk of second chances, but I’m the one who should be asking for a second chance. Please, Ben, give me another chance and help me feel again.”
It was almost too much for him to handle. If she’d been any other woman, he would’ve run away. But something in her plea called to him, reached inside his chest and gave him the courage to accept her challenge. He leaned forward and brushed his lips over hers, waiting to see if that was what she wanted.
“More,” she whispered and pulled him back. Her kiss sought answers, reass
urance, a sign that he was willing to reawaken all those emotions she’d suppressed.
Tonight, he’d made love to her until she’d surrendered to him. Now it was his turn to give himself completely to her. He deepened the kiss, and she responded by wrapping her arms around him and giving a low moan. Desire stirred within his veins, and he realized with a start that her need was as much physical as emotional. She had feared intimacy and yet craved the connection forming between them.
He’d said earlier tonight that he refused to let her slip away from him. Now he was being tested in a way he’d never imagined. The stakes were higher than ever, but giving her what she needed seemed easier than he thought it would be. It didn’t make sense. He ended the kiss. “Hailey, what do you want from me?”
“I just want you.” The fear returned to her eyes, and she shrank back. “That is, if you still want me.”
He ran his thumb across her cheek and soaked in the beautiful, complicated woman in front of him. He’d come to Cascade to lick his wounds and mourn the loss of his career, but she’d forced him to pick up the pieces and move forward. And somewhere along the way, he’d fallen for her all over again. “You make me feel alive again, too.”
“Show me.”
His cock stirred to life at her challenge. “Gladly.”
He kissed her again, guiding her to the edge of the shower without breaking contact with her so that he could grab the condom he’d stowed in the drawer beside the sink. A blast of cold ripped through the steam when he opened the glass door. Her nipples hardened against his chest, and he bent down to warm them with his mouth.
She still responded the same way to his touch—with a delicious shiver that turned into a needful moan. He go could on like this forever, teasing her, making her murmur sexy promises, but the ache in his balls demanded release. He rolled the condom on, lifted her up against the wall, and plunged into her.
Hailey cried out his name and wrapped her legs around his waist. “Yes, this.”
His knee felt stronger than ever as he pounded into her again and again. He’d made love to her slowly before and enjoyed every second of it, but this was different. This was raw, primal, savage. He watched her for any signs that he’d gone too far in the other direction, but only saw the ecstasy in her face.
“More,” she ordered, digging her nails into his back. “Harder. Faster.”
God, he loved this. He loved being with her. He loved the fact she was still willing to give herself so completely to him. He loved the growing tightness of her inner walls, the subtle increase in the friction of each stroke, the sharp breaths that all signaled her impending release.
She came with a scream that ignited his own orgasm. It ripped through him like an explosion, tearing down his defenses and blurring his vision. Red lines pulsated along the edge of his vision in time with the pounding of his heart. He clung to her, holding her tightly against him as the aftershocks drained his remaining energy. By the time he came back to earth, he was on his knees, still buried inside her, and was holding her against the wall with her legs around his waist.
The hot water beat across his shoulders and lulled him even closer to sleep, but he didn’t want to move. For this one blessed moment, Hailey was his, and he refused to do anything that would ruin this perfect moment. He buried his nose in the crook of her neck and breathed in her clean scent.
It was Hailey who moved first. She combed her fingers through his wet hair and pressed her lips against his forehead. “Thank you,” she said in a soft, contented voice that wrapped around his chest and made him forget to breathe.
He lifted his face. The glow radiating from her smile made him forget about everything else. He was falling in love with her, and it no longer terrified him.
“Shall we go back to bed?” she asked.
He nodded and finally released her. His knee throbbed when he rose to his feet, but it was worth it. By the time they dried off and crawled back into bed, the pain was a distant memory.
Hailey curled up next to him, her arm thrown across his chest and her thigh draped over his. He gave a wry chuckle as he tightened his arms around her. This was not a woman who was planning on sneaking out of his bed as soon as he closed his eyes.
But was there enough between them to turn this into forever?
Chapter Twelve
The faint scent of Ben’s cologne was the first thing Hailey noticed as the fog cleared from her mind. It was followed by the warmth of his skin next to hers. She stretched and started to roll over, but a strong arm pulled her back against his chest.
“I thought you were going to wake me up before leaving,” he teased.
“Possessive much?” But she didn’t fight him. After they’d crawled out of the shower and into bed, she had fallen into the most peaceful sleep she’d had in years. A huge burden had been lifted from her shoulders, and her heart was urging her to open up to Ben. She finally felt ready to tell him about Zach, but first she wanted to linger in his arms a bit longer.
“I warned you that I wasn’t going to let you slip away.” He trailed his fingers through her hair and along her spine in a slow, easy manner that threatened to lull her back to sleep.
“I’m glad to hear that.” She snuggled closer to him, listening to the steady beat of his heart while she worked up her courage. “Ben, there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you.”
His hands continued to run up and down her back in the same leisurely pattern, not revealing any signs of fear or hesitation. “What?”
She took a deep breath. This was it. This was her chance. She opened her mouth, but the distant ringing of her phone silenced her. She popped her head up to find it, but her gaze landed on the alarm clock. 10:47. “Shit! I’m late!”
Ben remained in bed as she ran around the room, searching for her clothes. “I’m hoping the lateness has nothing to do with your periods.”
Her gut wrenched, driving the air from her lungs. He was hoping she wasn’t pregnant, even though they’d just slept together. What would he say if the news about her missed period came nine years after the fact? She slid her panties back on and tried to stay calm. “No. I’m late for a class I’m teaching at the barn.”
“A class?”
“Yeah, well, technically, I don’t have time to coach a team, but I give classes from time to time on shooting and passing.” She’d started it when Zach was old enough to start playing hockey and had continued to do it even after he got sick because he’d asked her to.
She grabbed her phone and called back the last number.
Gus tore into her the minute he answered. “Where are you, Erikson?”
“I overslept.” She pulled her dress over her head. “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
A pair of hands beat her to the zipper. “You’re going to play hockey in this?” Ben murmured in her other ear.
She fought the urge to tell Gus she wasn’t coming at all so she could drag Ben back to bed.
“Fine, I’ll work with the kids, but get here as fast as you can. They’re getting antsy.” Gus hung up, and Ben drew her back into his arms.
“He sounded pissed,” he said while he continued to plant tiny kisses along her neck.
“He was.” She turned around to give Ben a quick peck before slipping free from him. “He has a rink full of novice players who are waiting for me to run them through their drills.”
“Need a little help?”
For the second time in as many minutes, he’d rendered her speechless. “You’re offering to help?”
He nodded. “I may not be much in front of the goal, but I remember some things from playing days. And if all else fails, I can offer to sign a few autographs.”
“Oh, I forgot, you’re Mr. NHL superstar,” she said with a laugh. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re enjoying the ice again.”
A grimace crossed his face, but he didn’t say anything as he reached for his jeans.
But he was right about her not being able to play in the dre
ss she’d borrowed from Jen for dinner. “I’ll run home, change, and meet you at the rink.”
She ran out the door before he offered to give her a ride. It was one thing to be sleeping with him. It was another thing if the whole town knew about it. Right now, discretion was her friend, especially while she was still working up the courage to tell him about Zach.
When she drove into the rink’s parking lot, he was waiting for her by the back door with just his skates.
“What? No pads today?” she asked as she grabbed her own gear from the back of the Jeep.
He shook his head. “No, I’m still not a hundred percent.”
“You looked great yesterday.”
“I only went out there yesterday because I wanted a date with you. My knee’s not ready to block shots all morning.” The muscles along his jaw tightened as he went into the barn, and her heart sank. He was still hiding behind his injury.
Hailey laced her skates up in record time and got on the ice with the group of eager seven- to nine-year-olds, but as soon as Gus saw Ben behind her, he said, “Hey, kids, look who Hailey brought with her—Ben Kelly!”
The kids erupted in a cheer and swarmed Ben. His eyes widened in sheer terror, and he gripped the boards as though they were all aiming to take him out. A few crashed into the wall around him, but none hit him. Their high-pitched voices fired off questions faster than a blue line of pucks during a shooting drill.
Can you play with us?
Do you know such-and-such?
Can I have your autograph?
Are you coming back next season?
Ben could barely utter a word before he was bombarded by the next question, but when one of the kids asked about his return, his face paled, and he tripped over his words.
Time for her to rescue him. “Okay, players, that’s enough. You can talk to Mr. Kelly after practice.”
Their grins were priceless as they skated back out to the center of the rink. So like Zach’s grin when he’d met Patrick, one of the Whales players. Did Ben have any idea what his mere presence meant to these kids?