by Cari Quinn
A beefy bouncer let them pass into the quiet corner of the restaurant.
“VIP section, eh?” Patrick said with a nudge. “Nice.”
“I wanted to make sure I could hear the updates from you without interruption.” Thankfully, dropping his name here worked just as well as it had in Cascade.
They sat down and ordered a pitcher of beer, the Kobe meatballs, and a couple of the Grill Platters without looking at the menu. Ben listened quietly while Patrick shared the rumors of who was staying, who was leaving, and who had earned a spot on Mac’s shit list. But as he got to the end, the defenseman grinned over his glass. “But you’re not losing me. Someone’s got to look out for you, especially after last season. I feel bad for not stopping that fucking mucker.”
“Don’t be. It’s part of the game.” He caught himself as he soon as the words slipped out. Strange how much his attitude toward his injury had changed over the past few weeks. He’d gone from fearing it was a career-ender to blithely saying it wasn’t a big deal. And he had Hailey to thank for that.
Time to put his plan into action before Patrick either got too drunk or too distracted by the puck bunnies who frequented this place. He pulled out the picture of Zach. “Do you remember this kid?”
Patrick held the picture for a moment, the mirth fading from his eyes. “Yeah, Zach Erikson. Great kid. Loved hockey. Had a cute mom, too. Why?”
“I want to know more about him.”
Patrick’s eyes flickered back and forth between the picture and Ben. Suspicion thinned his lips. “Why?”
“I know his mom, Hailey.”
A muscle rippled across Patrick’s jaw, and his free hand tightened into a fist. “How well?”
The tension between them teetered on the verge of a spontaneous fight. He needed to come clean before he sported a broken nose to complement his black eye. “He was my son, but I never knew about him until just the other day.”
Patrick laid the photo on the table and leaned back in the booth. Seconds ticked by as the defenseman dissected him like a bug under a magnifying glass on a sunny day. Sweat beaded along the back of Ben’s neck before Patrick finally said, “I got to know him pretty well through my volunteer work. If you’d come to the children’s hospital with me, you’d probably have met him, too.”
A punch of shame forced Ben to lower his eyes. How many times had Patrick asked him to join him when he’d made his weekly visits to the wards? How many times had Ben come up with some excuse not to go? “I freely admit I’ve been a selfish asshole, but there’s still a chance for me to make it right, starting with Zach’s mom.”
Patrick shook his head. “Not good enough. You want to know about Zach, you’ve got to promise to be my sidekick for the next year.”
“Sidekick?”
A grin appeared on the defenseman’s face. “Hey, I don’t get much glory out there on the ice, but at BC Children’s, I’m a damn superhero. Those kids love me.”
“Fine, I’ll be your sidekick. Just don’t force me to wear tights, okay?”
“Excellent.” Patrick rubbed his hands together like a mad scientist. “I’ll be looking forward to our visits, Mr. Kelly.”
Ben tapped the photo. “Back to my son.”
It was so strange, calling the boy in the picture his son, but the more he said it, the more natural it felt.
“What do you want to know?”
“What was his favorite food? Favorite color? Favorite hockey team?”
Patrick’s chuckle stopped the deluge of questions that rolled off his tongue. “I know he liked pizza—Hawaiian to be precise—because he used whine about it when he couldn’t eat it.”
“Why not?”
His friend’s face slackened as a haunted shadow rippled across it. “Listen, Ben, I know you don’t know much about children’s hospitals, but where Zach was… well, it’s not all fun and games. These kids go through a lot—the surgeries, the treatments—and yet they still somehow try to find a way to be normal kids.”
“Hailey’s stepmom told me he died of a brain tumor.”
Patrick nodded. “That picture was taken on a good day, when he was coherent and could give you a smile that would make your heart melt. If it was just after a tough round of chemo, anything acidic would burn his mouth—hence, no pineapple—but he still managed to put on a brave face. And if it was a bad day…”
Ben thoughts immediately turned to Hailey. What had she done when Zach had been too sick to even smile? How had she coped with it all?
“He spent almost three months in that hospital room. I know, because I made a point to stop by every week. So many of the kids there get better and go home. When I kept seeing him there week after week, I knew it wasn’t good. When he wasn’t in the mood to talk, I sometimes chatted with his mom, which is why I’m curious about the sudden interest in a kid you denied having.”
“Because I literally didn’t know about him until yesterday.” Ben threw his hands up in the air. “Hailey had tried to contact me, and Larry sent her a letter telling her I denied knowing her, even though he never asked me about the situation. If he had, I would’ve been by Zach’s side in a heartbeat.”
Patrick gave him a lie-detector stare for almost half a minute before nodding. “Let me guess—you were reunited with Hailey while in Cascade?”
“How did you know that?”
“Besides the fact you have this picture? I got to know the family, remember? I knew where they were from. I even got a thank-you note from her after Zach died. If I hadn’t gotten that whole ‘back off’ vibe from her, I would’ve made a move on her.”
“You would hit on the mother of a dying child?”
“I would’ve given her some time to mourn, but let’s face it, Hailey’s not only hot, but she knows the game. Did you know she’d just made the women’s developmental team when she found out she was pregnant?”
“I’m not surprised at all. She’s trying to make the team again.”
“Really? That would be so awesome to have her on my team in Sochi.”
“Your team?”
“Didn’t you hear?” Patrick puffed out his chest. “I’ve been asked to be on Team Canada again. By the way, Zach loved holding my gold medal from the Vancouver games.”
“Yeah, yeah, rub it in.” He’d been the goalie for Team USA and walked away with a silver medal after losing to Canada. “But if she makes the team, you’re not allowed to hit on her.”
“Why? Unless she’s already off the market?”
“If I can get her to forgive me, she will be. Now, back to Zach.”
Ben listened intently as he learned more about his son than the scrapbook could ever show. Zach had loved playing video games, and would sometimes cheat to win. He’d gotten a special Vancouver Whales bead every time he had chemo and had made a necklace from them all. He’d wanted to grow up and play hockey. And he’d never once mentioned his father.
Ben bought another pitcher of beer so he could pump Patrick for as much information as possible, and by the time he left The Global Grill, he finally felt like he knew a little bit about his son.
Now he had to prove to Hailey he was willing to learn more.
Chapter Sixteen
“Adam, I fucked up.”
Not the ideal way to start a conversation with his older brother, but Ben didn’t know how else to put it. After talking with Patrick late into the night, he’d come home with the intention of formulating a plan the next morning to show Hailey how sorry he was and beg for another chance.
It was well past noon, though, and he still had no idea where to start.
Adam cleared his throat. “Not something I’d expect to hear from you. Frank, definitely. Maybe Ethan or Caleb. But not you.”
“Well, I’ve done a helluva job of it.”
“Just tell me what happened so I know whether or not a lawyer’s needed.”
“It’s not like that.” At least, he hoped not. Hailey had never tried to press legal action against him before, but h
e knew she could’ve if she’d wanted to. “It has to do with that woman in Cascade.”
“The one with the blue hair, right?”
“No—I mean, yes, it’s her, but her hair isn’t blue anymore and…” He collapsed on the couch. “Oh, fuck it. I found out the other day that I had a son.”
Now it was Adam’s turn to release a string of four-letter words. “How the hell did that happen?”
“If I have to explain that to you, then you have no business getting married.”
“Ha ha, very funny.” Adam paused. “Back up a minute. You said had a son.”
“That’s correct. He died a little over a year ago.”
“Shit, Ben.” Adam drew in a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “You haven’t told Mom, have you?”
“Are you kidding? Even if I survived the tongue-lashing for knocking up a girl I wasn’t married to, she’d never forgive me for denying her a chance to know her only grandchild.”
“As far as we know. I still worry that Ethan or Frank might have a couple of love children running around.”
“But to answer your question, no, I haven’t told her. I’m still in the doghouse with Hailey, and I don’t need two women giving me the guilt trip.”
“Why do I have a feeling this conversation is about how to get on her good side again?”
“Because it is.” Ben stretched his legs out and stared at the ceiling. “Once I realized it was her, I wanted to see if we could turn that one night into something more.”
“It sounds like you already did that.”
Ben bolted to his feet. “Damn it, Adam, I came to you for advice.”
“Now we’re even for that little jab earlier. Go on.”
His skin suddenly felt two sizes too small. “I fell hard for her, but I always got the feeling she was hiding something from me.”
“No shit. So, what did you do when she finally told you about your son?”
“I didn’t find out from her—that’s the kicker. I found out from her stepmom. And I just lost it. Accused her of hiding the truth from me, of denying me a chance to know him, of using me for my connections. I said some hurtful things to her right before I left town.”
“And were any of them true?”
“Nope, but unfortunately, I didn’t find any of that out until yesterday, when I started putting two and two together.”
“So this is going to take more than an apology and a piece of jewelry.”
“Much more. You should see the shiner she gave me.”
“You know, maybe we should switch this conversation to FaceTime…”
“Not a chance,” Ben said with a laugh, his conscience finally lightening. “But I do need some idea of how to show her I’m sorry and beg for another chance.”
“You really want to try again? It’s not like you two have the best track record.”
Ben rubbed his chest, noting how empty it felt now that she wasn’t around. And he didn’t even want to try to explain how hard it was to sleep without her beside him. “Yeah, I do. I think I’m in love with her.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Remember what you said last month about meeting someone and feeling that connection? Well, it’s always been that way with Hailey, from the first night I met her. The last month has just gone to show me how well we fit together.”
“With the exception of the whole secret baby thing.”
Ben sighed and recounted the whole mess with the team’s public relations manager. “She tried to tell me, but I never got her messages. And this whole time, she thought I had denied even knowing her. And the worst part about it is that when I blew up at her the other night, she’d actually come to my place with a scrapbook she’d made about Zach.”
“So she was trying to tell you.” Adam grew silent, and the sound of footsteps filled the line. “How far would you go to get her back?”
“I’m not opposed to groveling on national television at this point.”
“Yeah, that’s one good thing about Canada. You can humiliate yourself on television there, and only the equivalent of the population of California would witness it.”
“You’re not helping.”
“I’m thinking.” More pacing. Ben pictured Adam in his office that overlooked Lake Michigan, staring at the window as his mind churned. “Did she ever tell you what she really wanted? What her passion was?”
“It’s hockey, and she really wants to make the Canadian team for the Olympics. But I already helped her with that.”
“I suppose that wouldn’t be the reason why you asked Ethan to compose a piece of music for you, would it?”
“Bingo.”
“Sounds like you really have fallen for this girl.” The footsteps stopped. “So short of buying her a place on the team—”
“She’d never go for that. If she makes the team, she wants to do it because she’s good, not because we greased a few palms.”
“I’m liking her more and more. First the black eye, and now the good work ethic.”
“Maybe you’ll have a chance to meet her if I can make things right.”
“It sounds like you’re sincere, and maybe that’s all it will take. Tell her you’re sorry. Ask for another chance. Let her know you’re truly interested in learning all you can about your son. If she can see that you’re being honest about it, then she should forgive you.”
“And if she doesn’t?”
Adam gave a longer pause this time, one that tied Ben’s gut into knots. “Then maybe she’s not the girl for you.”
He swallowed hard, but nothing could dislodge the growing lump of fear forming in his throat. “I can’t imagine myself with anyone but her.”
“Then let’s hope for the best.” The sincerity of Adam’s words comforted him like a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Just don’t strike out this time.”
“I don’t plan to. And thanks.”
“Anytime, little bro.”
The line clicked dead, but Ben had gotten what he’d needed from the conversation. It was time to start groveling. He flipped through his contact list to Hailey’s number and pressed “send.” The phone rang and rang before finally switching over to voice mail.
Ben froze. A message wasn’t enough. He wanted to apologize to her and hear her reaction, see her face as she either accepted or rejected it. He ended the call and grabbed his keys. Cascade was only a few hours away, and if luck was on his side, he’d have Hailey back in his arms tonight.
* * *
Ben walked into the Sin Bin and immediately shivered from the owner’s icy glare. Not the warmest reception, but what did he expect after the things he’d said to Hailey?
“What are you doing here?” her dad asked.
“I’m looking for Hailey.”
Her dad went back to wiping down the bar. “She’s not here.”
Back to the “us-versus-them” treatment, but Ben refused to be deterred. “Do you know where I can find her?”
“Yes.”
He dug his fingers into his palms to stay calm. Now he knew where Hailey had gotten her stubbornness from. Did Zach have it, too?
The random thought ambushed him out of nowhere and forced him to take a deep breath. This wasn’t about him. He walked up to the bar with slow, determined steps. “Can you please tell me where to find her?”
Her dad threw the rag on the bar, his cheeks becoming florid. “I don’t have to tell you a goddamn thing!”
“Sam!” Cindy said sharply from the doorway leading to the kitchen. She laid her hand over his as if it would restrain her massive husband. “Let’s hear what Ben has to say.”
“This had better be good, then.” Sam Erikson crossed his arms across his chest. “If it’s not, then I’ll let you know exactly how I felt when I came home the other night to find my daughter crying on my front porch.”
Shit. He’d made her cry.
The lump of fear returned, but this time, he managed to push it down into his stomach. “I’m here to apolog
ize to her—for everything.”
Cindy’s face softened, but her father’s remained hard with disbelief. “I think it’s too late for that,” he replied, a hint of a growl still lingering in his voice.
“That’s not for you to decide,” Cindy said in soothing tones. “Can’t you see he’s all torn up about their spat?”
Her dad zeroed in on Ben’s black eye. “Looks like more than a spat to me.”
“You know how hotheaded Hailey can be.” Cindy tugged on his arm until he uncrossed them. “Besides, it’s closing time. Why don’t we all sit down over a couple of beers and sort this out?”
Sure, Cindy. Get the angry brute of her father drunk before I confess that I’m the one who knocked up his daughter. Great idea.
But as Sam reached into the cooler for three bottles of Labatt, Cindy gave him a wink and a small smile. “Let me lock the front door, and we’ll all crowd into that corner booth you like so much, Ben.”
Yeah, so when Hailey’s dad blackens the other eye, there will be no witnesses.
But at this point, he couldn’t think of any better alternative. They knew where Hailey was, and the quicker he could convince them to tell him where he could find her, the quicker he could start making things right. He took his usual seat and waited for Hailey’s parents to slide into the opposite side.
Sam passed him an open bottle. “So you think you can apologize to my baby and make it all good again, eh?”
Cindy rubbed her husband’s arm. “Let the boy speak, Sam.”
Ben inwardly winced at being called a boy, but if getting on their good side brought him one step closer to getting on Hailey’s good side, he’d tolerate it. “I never knew about Zach.”
“Bullshit,” Sam grumbled before taking a long swig of beer.
“No, really, I didn’t. Larry, the team’s PR guy, kept every one of Hailey’s letters from me. I never received a single one. If I had, I would’ve been by Zach’s side in a flash.”
“Well, you’re a little late for that, now, aren’t you?” But beneath her father’s bitter words, Ben caught a flash of grief.