by Cari Quinn
He did find me attractive. Thank God!
“Aww, thank you. You look damn sexy,” I said, observing him intently from head to toe.
His eyes widened and his head jerked back. “Oh. Thanks.”
“Well, come on. I’m starving and I have a lot of reading to do.” I grabbed him by the hand and started to lead him toward the elevators.
He wedged his hand from mine and stopped. “I think it’s best if we stay downstairs to study.” He dropped his backpack on a chair in the foyer.
The anticipation that was swelling inside of me vanished instantly. My shoulders sank and it felt like I had been doused with a thick layer of mud. I had spent all night obsessing over how to make our study date more intimate, but that would never happen if I couldn’t get him up to my room. So far, things weren’t working in my favor.
“I guess,” I moaned. “I’ll be back. I need to get my books.” I dragged my feet all the way to my room. What was I thinking? Did I really expect him to race up to my room and rip my clothes off? I had to think of a better strategy to get us past home plate. I grabbed my backpack and headed downstairs.
“Here’s your sandwich.” Collin handed me a paper sack.
“Thanks.” I sat the food on the table in front of me. I didn’t feel like eating.
Collin settled in a chair opposite me, eating his food while reading. It was as though nothing had happened. Then again, he had no clue what I was trying to do. My main focus was getting him to show me how much he loved me and his was studying. Even though I needed to study too, I had to make sure I wouldn’t regret walking down that aisle come June. I kicked off my shoes and tucked my legs underneath me, trying to think of a better solution.
Thirty minutes later, I opted for a different tactic. “Hey, Collin?”
“Hmm?” He looked up for a quick second and then zoned back in on his book.
“I was thinking about the wedding and what type of food we want served during the reception.”
“Okay,” he answered, but didn’t appear very interested.
“What kind of food do you think we should have? Chicken or roast—” I stopping, waiting for him to respond, but he was too busy studying. “Or how about oysters on a half shell? We can also have a chocolate fountain and bathe ourselves in it.”
“What?” His head popped up. “I’m sorry, Lexi, but can we talk about the wedding later? I really need to read this material.”
I nodded as I recoiled into my chair. No matter what I did or said, Collin showed very little interest in me. I was striking out with every method I tried. If he didn’t care to talk about the wedding, then did he really want to marry me? Was what Delaney said true? Was I his cover up?
A roar of laughter echoed across the room as a group of students filtered through the foyer. Collin shifted in his chair and exhaled, clearly perturbed that someone was disturbing his studying. Looking outside, I noticed the campus commons area fill with a rush of people. I glanced at my phone. The football game was starting in forty-five minutes.
Raven would be playing.
I slammed my book shut. “Hey, I have an idea.”
He shuffled a stack of papers and then leaned forward, running his hand through his hair. “What’s that?”
“Let’s go to the game,” I said with a cheerful voice.
He peeked from behind his hands. “What?”
I perched on the edge of my chair. “Yeah, it’ll be fun. We haven’t been to a football game this year.”
“I know and I’m sorry. Between baseball, school, and the wedding, I haven’t had time to think about football.” He reclined in his seat and propped his leg on his knee.
“More reason as to why we should go. We both need a break from everything.” I shoved my feet into my flats and started packing my books. “We’re senior’s this year, we should make the most of it.”
He rubbed his chin as though considering my suggestion. “I’m sorry, Lexi, but like I said, I have a paper due and a test next week. I don’t have time to go watch a football game. Maybe we can go to the last game of the season.”
Irrational thoughts swamped my mind and I bit my tongue, forbidding any words that I might later regret to escape from my mouth. I shrugged. “I understand.”
Darn, I really wanted to see Raven play.
Collin pulled another book from his bag and began flipping through the pages. I watched the students, smiling and laughing as they made their way toward the stadium. I wanted what they had.
Happiness.
Joy.
Excitement.
I hated that I never had the opportunity to experience true college life. I spent the first two years commuting back and forth to campus and what little extra time I did have I spent with Collin. When I moved on campus my junior year, I was too focused on my schoolwork, not to mention excited to finally be closer to Collin. Every time Delaney asked me to go out with her, I turned her down. I had Collin and was happy. Now, it was too late. And, I was getting married.
The crowd thinned and silence resumed over the empty dormitory and campus. It sucked that we weren’t going to the game but that meant I still had a chance to get him upstairs. I walked over to the piano instead of reading my required literary fiction book.
“Hey, Collin, I realized we don’t have a song.” I hit a few chords, warming up my fingers.
“A song?” He looked in my direction.
“Yeah,” I nodded, playing a stance from my parents’ wedding song, Endless Love. “One we can dance to at our wedding.”
“The one you’re playing is fine.” He returned his attention back to his schoolwork.
“No, that’s my parents’ song. We need our own song.” I recalled another tune Delaney had asked me to learn. I ran over to my backpack and pulled out the sheet music. I studied it for a while, made some notations with my pencil, and did a light warm up with the main chorus and bridge.
“How about this one?”
I eased into the melody, focusing on playing the correct notes. As I continued to the main chorus, I gained more confidence and played louder. I waited for Collin to say something or recognize it because the radio stations had just started playing it. But he never did. Surely, he knew this John Legend tune. It was the most beautiful song.
Reading the words on the page, I imagined Collin singing them to me. He rarely sang so I had no idea if he could actually carry a note, but I didn’t care. He could have sounded like a pig squealing and I’m sure my heart would have soared. If I wasn’t so nervous, I would have bellowed the words, but my stupid throat tightened, fighting back the impending threat of tears.
I thought playing this romantic song might set the mood for my next plan of attack, but I was wrong. Before I could even finish the song, Collin began putting his books and papers in his backpack.
“What are you doing?” I immediately stopped playing.
Swinging his backpack over his shoulder, he said, “I’m sorry, Lexi, but I can’t study here.”
It felt like someone had pulled the rug from under my feet. “No.” I rushed over to him. “Don’t go. Stay here with me, please.”
I had to do something, but the only thing that came to mind was to pull on the strap of his bag. The bag slid down his arm and dangled at his feet.
“We can go to the study room down the hall or the one on my floor.” I scanned the room. “I think everyone’s at the game so it should be quiet.”
“Lexi,” he huffed and looked a bit piqued at my reaction, “if you want to play the piano, that’s fine, but I told you I have a lot of studying to do.” He grabbed his backpack, holding it firmly in his hand by the strap.
His phone chimed. He pulled it out of his back pocket and scrolled through his phone. Sighing, he said, “Crap. I forgot that I promised my brother I’d take him to the batting cages tonight.”
My entire body slumped to the floor. “Oh, I thought we could hang out and watch a movie or something.”
“We went to the movies last
night.” He shoved the phone in his back pocket. Placing his hands on my waist, he said, “Why don’t you come with us? It’ll be fun.”
“That’s okay.” I shook my head. “You know I’m terrible at hitting the ball.” That was the truth. Luke must have hoarded that entire gene for himself because when it came to coordination, I had none. In return, I held the gene for being musically inclined and Luke couldn’t hold a note to save his life.
“I’m sorry, Lexi. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” Collin cupped my face with his hands and kissed me softly on the lips, causing my heart to warm, just a little.
Σ
Chapter Five
I sat in the writing lab, watching the minutes pass by as I waited for Raven. Part of me wanted him to show up while the other more reasonable part didn’t. After last week’s tutoring session, I wasn’t sure if I could handle seeing him again or hear him talk dirty to another girl on the phone.
“Lexi, is everything okay?” Dr. Phillips approached me.
I grabbed my phone and shoved it in my backpack, forgetting that I wasn’t supposed to use it while in the writing lab. A rule that I had allowed Raven to break.
Reason number five: I’m bending my own rules.
“Yes. I’m waiting on Raven to arrive.” I tapped the end of my pen on the desk.
The professor shoved his hands in his pockets and jingled his keys while rocking on the heels of his feet. “I see. How did last week’s sessions turn out?”
My stomach clenched. Did he really want to know? “Um, okay. Tuesday we reviewed one of his papers and I was able to help him identify some of his grammatical errors.” Not to mention, he was able to give me a lesson on phone sex. One far more valuable than writing.
“That’s great.” He placed his hand on my shoulder and my body slumped down. “What about Thursday? I believe the agreement indicated you would be meeting him twice a week.”
I couldn’t even handle meeting him once a week, much less twice.
“Yes, that is correct. Unfortunately, he canceled our meeting last Thursday and is ten minutes late for today’s session.”
The professor frowned. “If he doesn’t show up today, let me know. I will place a call to Coach Anderson. If we are doing this favor for him, the least he can do is show up and not waste your time.”
I nodded. “I completely agree.”
“Ah, look who’s here.”
I turned to see Raven walk through the door. He had on a PHU baseball cap, coupled with jeans that rode so low, if I had lifted his shirt, I would’ve seen his ass. My fingers twitched, eager to prove my point.
Dr. Phillips extended his hand to Raven and they shook hands. “Good to see you, Son. That was one heck of a game last week. You showed the Jayhawks we belong in the Big Twelve.”
Raven adjusted his cap. “Well, what can I say? It was a close game, but we got in there and showed them we meant business.”
“True, but in the end, we won the game. That’s what matters.” It was obvious that the professor was Team Raven, all the way. It wouldn’t matter if I told him about Raven taking the sex call last week or if he continued to be a no-show or arrive late to every appointment. I was stuck helping him.
“Exactly.” Raven crossed his arms and his muscles flexed. I instantly reasoned that I could be flexible and more understanding when it came to his schedule.
Raven turned to me. “Sorry I’m late. I had to go to the library and pick up a book I needed for a paper. I thought you might be able to help me with it.”
The professor patted Raven on the back. “Good call. Good call.”
He walked to his office and shut the door, leaving us alone in the center. Normally, it didn’t bother me, but for some reason I didn’t like that no one else was around. Maybe a part of me didn’t trust Raven. Or worse, trust myself not to do anything stupid. I straightened and shoved off the silly thoughts teasing me to find out more about his sexual abilities.
“What do you want to work on today?” I arranged the papers in the folder Dr. Phillips had given me. I used them as a reference on the past work he had done.
“First of all, I want to apologize about last week.” He took a seat next to me and pulled off his hat. He raked his fingers through his short, dark hair and I had to turn away to hide the fact that I was staring at him.
“Um, you want to apologize?”
He clasped his hands together and leaned against the table. “Yeah, ya know… the phone call last week.” By the way the tips of his ears turned red and he fidgeted in his chair, I knew it wasn’t easy for him.
“It’s all right. Let’s just forget about it and move on.” I kept my eyes trained on his folder, refusing to give in to my desires that reminded me what he was capable of doing to me.
“Thanks.” He bent his head down, trying to get my attention.
Cautiously, I peeled my eyes from the desk and gave him a slight smile. “Sure.”
I swallowed the huge lump lingering in the back of my throat. Repeatedly, I told myself that I could tutor him. I was a mature, professional writing consultant that was engaged to be married. I had no business in philandering with him. I pulled my head back, straightened my shoulders, and pushed forward.
We had been working on an outline he needed help with for thirty minutes when his phone buzzed.
“My bad.” He reached into his pocket and silenced his phone. A grin spread across his face as he glanced at the screen. He typed a text message and then waited a few seconds before typing a few more.
I strummed my fingers along the table as the minutes passed by. “Done sexting or do you need to leave so you can meet up with her?”
I figured it was the same girl from last week, or maybe a new one according to the report that Lisa Jenkins gave me when I called her last week. She wouldn’t tell me much, only advised me to tread carefully and not to get involved with him. It was evident that the rumors about him having a different girl every week were more than likely true.
“Sorry about that.” He shook his head. “She can wait.”
A snicker escaped my mouth and I coughed to cover it up. Why did I care if he was sexting? I was still getting paid for my time, regardless. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted Collin to text me dirty and sensual messages. Too bad that would never happen. If I couldn’t get him to touch me where I needed to feel him the most, how in the hell did I expect him to tell me what I’d like for him to do to me?
I gathered myself and continued helping him, extinguishing my inner desires. “I recommend that you do a comparative analysis of the two characters. It will add a more dynamic point of view and make it harder for your professor to argue the points.”
He leaned back in his chair and scrubbed his face with his hands. “Damn, you really know your stuff.”
I shrugged half-heartedly. “It’s what I love to do. Just like you love to play football, I love to read and critique papers.”
“I guess so.” He raised a brow and I couldn’t help but notice how dark his eyes looked against his black shirt. When I saw him last week, they appeared to be green; but that day, they looked brown. It seemed that he had hazel eyes, always changing, adapting to his surroundings. One thing was for certain, they were beautiful.
“Lexi?” Raven cleared his throat a few times.
“Yeah?” I shuddered, realizing I was daydreaming about him again. What the hell was wrong with me?
“I said, thank you for the suggestion. I think that’s a great idea.”
I tugged on the edge of my sleeves, trying to cover my trembling hands. Why the heck was I so nervous? “Oh, yeah, sure.”
He gathered his books and papers and stuffed them in his bag. “I’ll start working on it, and um… I guess we can review it on Thursday.”
“Sounds good to me.”
When he stood, a whiff of his cologne infiltrated my space. I inhaled deeply, to the point I thought I would pass out. I relaxed in my chair and watched as he adjusted his backpack over his br
oad shoulders. “See ya later.”
“Yeah, see you later.”
Σ
Chapter Six
My phone chimed and I rolled over, reaching for it.
Collin: I’ll be there in thirty minutes to pick you up.
Blinking a few times, I struggled to see the time. Seven-thirty flashed on my phone. Collin was picking me up to attend weekly church service and I had over slept. Crap!
Me: Okay, I’ll be ready.
I flung the covers off the bed and ran to the shower. Grabbing a hair band, I twisted my hair up in a messy bun and bathed as fast as I could. With little time to spare, I found a shear blouse and matching skirt that didn’t need ironing and put it on. I applied a little makeup and ran downstairs. A few minutes later, my brother pulled up in his black 1959 Chevy Camaro.
The door opened and Collin stepped out of the car. “You look pretty in that skirt.”
“Thanks,” I said, ducking to get into the back seat. I didn’t even try to kiss him. With my brother around, I knew he wouldn’t be responsive.
“Hey, Bro, didn’t know you were coming.”
“Yeah, me either.” He looked into the rearview mirror, brushing his thick, brown hair with his fingers. “Mom called and said they hadn’t seen me in a while and… well, you know the drill.”
I sighed and relaxed against the cold vinyl seat. “Yep, know all about that. Glad they’re bugging you instead of me.”
He laughed while peeling out. “Don’t hold your breath too long, you’ll be next.”
“You know your parents mean well,” Collin chimed in.
Luke’s laugh deepened. “I can’t wait to see what happens once you two get married.”
“Oh, I don’t think they’ll continue to be overprotective. I know they want what is best for Lexi so they are willing to do whatever it takes to ensure she makes good decisions.”
“Yeah, you don’t know my parents as well as you think you do,” I informed Collin.
“You might change your mind after a few weeks of my mom’s nagging,” Luke added.
“I think you two are wrong.” Collin adjusted his seat belt but kept his body perfectly straight. “Not to be vain, but they know I’m a good choice for Lexi. They’ll give us our privacy.”