Then he leans forward and kisses my lips softly.
I love him, more than anything, but I don’t believe him.
May 14, 2016
Freddie approaches as soon as Ryan and I enter the ballroom. The look on his face is priceless. He is stunned by the dress I’m wearing, and I can’t say I blame him. A friend from Stanford came to San Francisco to become a designer, and when she didn’t make it after three years, she did as she promised her gynecologist mother she would do, and attended medical school. We would spend hours discussing dresses and shoes, because I didn’t know anything about what to wear when. I knew that living in DC I would have to attend certain functions, and Mira was a godsend.
“You look incredible,” Freddie exclaims. He completely ignores Ryan, takes my shoulders firmly in his big hands, and kisses my lips gently but possessively. I’m almost transported back to his hotel room this morning, where he again worked his magic with his lips and mouth and brought me to a very satisfying crescendo. The sex wasn’t nearly as satisfying, but it’s getting better.
“Freddie, this is my colleague, Ryan McCarthy. Ryan, this is His Grace, the Duke of Portland.” I smile as I say it, and Freddie gives me a little smirk. Okay, so I get off on having a duke crushing on me. Who the hell wouldn’t?
“Call me Freddie, please. I think she just likes saying His Grace,” he says to Ryan, but he’s stealing glances at me and my dress. He looks amazing in a tuxedo, which emphasizes his height and athletic build, and makes his creamy skin appear even more pale, and his red hair even brighter. He looks regal. He is royalty, after all.
Mira designed the dress, sewed it, and wore it to a charity gala of her own, before sending it to me. The color of the material gives the appearance that it is sheer and covered in black lace, but it’s just an optical illusion. I am covered from shoulders to toes, although I will admit it does look a bit risqué.
“It is very nice to meet you, Freddie. If you’ll both excuse me, I see someone I know,” he says, and leaves me.
Freddie takes a step closer to me, and I can see the lust in his eyes. It’s practically dripping from his pores. Well, the dress has definitely worked its magic. I can smell his cologne, which is nice but maybe just a tad too strong. I might just be used to his minty, sweaty, sleepy male scent. Even though we’ve only spent two nights together, there’s been no man I’ve been so familiar with, since Lex.
“You look like a dream. Am I awake?” he murmurs, as he touches the light blond curls hanging over my right shoulder. “You’re incredible.” He kisses my cheek as he speaks, and I feel goose bumps cover my bare arms. “I want to wrap you up in my arms, and carry you out of here like a caveman. I don’t want anyone else to see you…”
“Your Grace,” I hear from beside me. “I had no idea you knew our guest of honor.”
“Mrs. Astor,” Freddie says, as he releases my hair. “Please, call me Freddie. I have known you most of my life.”
“Of course, Freddie.” Mrs. Astor’s gray eyes gaze into Freddie’s, then instantly affix on mine. “I’m glad you could make it, Liv. How are you this evening?” She kisses both my cheeks, and hugs me. And, she calls me Liv again.
“I’m fine, Mrs. Astor. How are you?” I reply demurely. I hope my tone is cool enough to hide my anger at her use of Lex’s nickname for me.
“I’m lovely dear, and even better now that you’re here.” She’s smiling at me like I’m the blue ribbon at a bake-off contest. It’s a little creepy.
“I had no idea you two knew each other,” Freddie says quizzically, as he gazes at me.
“Liv is in love with my son,” Mrs. Astor says. I nearly choke on my own tongue. Freddie is almost as stunned as I am. She smiles brightly, as if she accomplished what she set out to do, and murmurs, “I’m sorry. She was in love with Alexander. They were engaged.” Freddie glares at me with his dark blue eyes. “By the way, Liv, the trustees are on board, and the Astor Foundation will be donating all of the proceeds from tonight to the veterans’ psychiatric charity you support. Congratulations.”
That softens any emotions I was feeling about her interjections. But I still don’t want her to ever call me Liv again. “Thank you. I appreciate what you’re doing for the veterans’ this evening.”
“You’re welcome, dear. I’ll see you soon,” she states, before she strolls off.
“You were engaged to Alexander Astor?” he enquires. “I had no idea. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t know you two were close. It was a long time ago. I’m surprised his mother still remembers.” I grab a glass of wine from a passing waiter, and swallow it down in two gulps.
“You’re surprised his mother remembers her son’s engagement? That’s an odd statement,” he prods.
I shrug my shoulders and shake my head, defensively. “We were engaged for like a week, before I graduated from the University of Virginia.”
“So what happened?” he continues. I wish I could understand what was driving his curiosity. I wish I knew what he was hiding behind those dark eyes and posh British accent.
“Why is it so important for you to know?” I counter, staring deep into his eyes.
“I want to know why you broke up. I want to know if he hurt you. I want to know if I should hate him, or beat him up, or challenge him to a duel for offending your honor.” He looks completely serious as he says it, as if my answers to his questions might really change his feelings about Lex.
“No. Nothing like that, I promise. We simply went our separate ways. He went off to take the financial world by storm, and I ran off to Stanford to attend medical school,” I assure him. I hope he doesn’t see that I’m faking it. “We were just two very different people.” I shrug again.
His eyes go wide as he shakes his head. “You’re lying!” he exclaims.
At that very moment I see Lex, with his gorgeous, younger fiancée, across the room speaking to one of the titans of the technology industry. His petite young fiancée pouts up at him, and I can’t be sure, but it looks like she stamps her foot to get his attention. My eyes narrow, and my brows furrow.
“No beautiful woman, none that I know anyway, say they ‘don’t do dinner’ unless they’ve been very hurt by someone in their past.”
Oh God, it might be time for a medical emergency. I can’t handle his incessant questioning, especially not about Lex. I see Ryan approaching with two glasses of champagne, and I touch my right shoulder. That is our code for get me the hell out of here!
He hands me the glass, and says, “There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”
“If you’ll excuse me,” I say to Freddie, as I take Ryan’s hand.
Freddie’s dark eyes change, and he gives me a frown. Does he realize I gave Ryan the signal? But he graciously says, “Of course, darling. I’ll find you later.”
I roll my eyes, and try to move a little faster away from the duke.
“What happened?” Ryan asks, as he escorts me to a quiet corner.
“He was asking far too many questions,” I reply, as I gulp down the champagne he handed me.
“Oh, is he another one of those pesky billionaires who actually has the nerve to fall for you?” Ryan jokes.
“I think it’s time for an emergency,” I grumble, as I take another glass of champagne from a passing waitress.
“That bad huh?” I shrug. “He’s rich, sexy as hell, and British royalty for fuck’s sake. What could be so bad about falling for him?”
“I… I just…” I drink this glass of champagne quickly too, and I’m starting to feel it. “I need something stronger to drink.”
He looks beyond frustrated with me. “Well, don’t get drunk and then say you have an emergency. Someone will report you to the AMA.”
I shake my head. At this point I might not care. “I need to get out of…”
“Liv, I’ve been looking for you. The bidding is about to begin on the live auction items,” Mrs. Astor says from behind me.
“I’m sorry, I can’t
stay. There’s an emergency at the hospital,” I lie, and look to Ryan for backup.
“Yes, there’s a suspected myocardial infraction in the emergency room, and only Dr. Bell can assess it,” Ryan lies smoothly.
“Oh, I’m so sorry. I’ll have to stop by your office on Monday to give you all of the details,” she says, as she kisses my cheeks again. I hold in the groan that is trying to escape.
“I look forward to seeing you,” I say, as I hold out my arm for Ryan to escort me.
“Damn it, do I have to leave as well,” he asks, as we’re almost to the exit.
“Of course not. You can stay if you’d…” I begin, but I’m interrupted by Freddie.
“Liv, dear,” he begins.
“I’m sorry, Freddie, there’s a suspected case of myocardial infraction at the emergency room, and I’m needed…” I say, as I try to walk away.
Just then Mrs. Astor approaches Freddie, takes his hand, and says, “Our Liv is very important to the hospital. There’s someone I’d like you to meet…”
I release Ryan, with a kiss on his cheek. I’m sure there are plenty of doctors here for him to meet. I walk toward the valet parking area like I’m in a race. And when I arrive, I see Lex placing his fiancée into the back of a limo. They are having words, and I can see that the valets are upset that they are lingering in their area.
I give my receipt to one of the young men, and he nods and hands my keys to another young man. And suddenly I’m face to face with Lex. Or, more precisely, face to chest as he’s so much taller than I am. He can’t pull his eyes away from the dress I’m wearing, the way the apparently sheer fabric wraps around my breasts, and shows just a hint of my cleavage and the tops of the heavy globes of my tits.
“My fiancée, she gets anxious at these functions. She’s…” he starts. He must see the expression on my face that tells him I don’t care in the least about his fiancée.
“Young?” I finish his sentence.
He frowns at me, but doesn’t argue. “I see you’re familiar with my old friend, Freddie Portland.”
“We’ve become acquainted,” I admit.
“Why are you leaving so early? You don’t want to celebrate the millions of dollars my family’s foundation will be handing over to your favorite charity?” he murmurs. He’s staring at me with his bright green eyes, and there’s something in them that... Lust. He’s looking at me with lust? I can see it in his eyes, his expression, the set of his jaw.
“Miss, your car,” the young man says.
“Doctor!” Lex corrects him, loudly.
“I’m sorry, doctor. No disrespect. Your car is ready,” the valet says sheepishly.
Lex glances over at my incredible bright blue Corvette convertible, sitting in front of him with the door open. His eyes become very wide. “You reek of alcohol. I’ll drive you,” he states, and takes my hand.
“I will drive myself, thank you,” I argue, and walk toward the drivers’ side door. But I am feeling the alcohol, and I sway a little as I stand by the door.
He grabs my elbow to hold me up, and I feel a tingling over my skin that probably has nothing to do with the alcohol I’ve had. “You don’t want to put the career you sacrificed so much for at risk, do you? One DUI and you can kiss your medical license goodbye.” He’s right. I probably shouldn’t drive. So I allow him to lead me to the passenger door. When we’re both inside, he says, “Your car is beautiful.”
“Yes, it is,” I agree. Then I turn toward him and demand, “Why are you driving it?”
He keeps his eyes on the road, and smoothly, slowly, says, “I can still picture you naked in my bed.” My muscles contract, and hold, as he says it. “Do you feel it too?” he murmurs.
I shake my head, but I’m sure he doesn’t see me. “Where are we going?” I demand. I still can’t say his name.
“Where I should have taken you fifteen years ago when you said you wanted to leave me.” He stops at a red light, and turns to stare at me. “Straight to my bed.”
Chapter Eight
May 14, 2016
“No! Take me home!” I demand.
“I am. I’m taking you to my home,” he states, as if he’s forcing the words out of his mouth through gritted teeth and clenched jaw. The cleft in his chin is somehow even deeper than normal. I have to look away, because my God he’s incredible, and completely off limits.
“We were just talking about your fiancée. You’re engaged. I really don’t think now is a…” I start, but the red light changes to green, and he revs the muscle car into gear. The tires squeal as he peals out, and I sigh loudly. “The fucking tires are expensive.”
“What are you doing with a car like this anyway?” he asks, as he practically pets the steering wheel. “Shouldn’t you have a safe little Mercedes or something?” He’s going just a little above the speed limit, which is commendable. My Corvette doesn’t like going slow. He’s right, the car is not ideal for the DC area. I should have a nice, safe Mercedes or BMW. But I saw this car, and I wanted it. It was impulsive, and stupid, and I can’t help falling in love with it every time I get in it. And there’s something about seeing him driving it that makes my inside do flip flops.
“Now you want to talk about my car?” I grumble.
“I like your car. But what I really want to talk about is how well you know Freddie Portland.” His voice is deep, brooding, and oh so sexy.
I cross my arms over my chest, and sigh loudly. “I’m a grown woman, and I can spend time with whomever I want to.”
“Is he the forth, or fifth man I’ve seen you with in the last few weeks?” I roll my eyes, and shake my head. “Does he know how far down on your list he is?”
“Says the guy who has kidnapped me, and insists he’s taking me to his bed. I guess that will get me back for leaving you, won’t it?” Yes, the venom bleeds over into my voice. No, I won’t apologize. “That will really teach me a lesson.”
He stops at another red light. “Why did you leave me, Liv? I demand to know.”
I exhale through my nose, and he hears it and turns toward me. “We grew apart. We were too young to get married anyway. It wouldn’t have lasted.”
“You didn’t even give us a chance. We got along great for the year we were together,” he practically growls.
“We had a beautiful year together, yes. We should remember it the way it was, and not tarnish it with thoughts of what could never be.” He stares me down at those words. I have no idea how I’m keeping my voice so calm. These are all things that I’ve said to myself, over and over. But saying them in such a serene way, to Lex, while he’s staring at me with those brilliant green eyes of his like he could eat me alive, is shocking.
“We could have been happy for the rest of our lives,” he insists, as he squeals the tires again.
“Or we could have ended up hating each other, and I would have been divorced by twenty-five, with no medical degree and a kid, with another on the way.” It feels good to say these things to him. It’s cathartic. I wish I had done it years ago. “I mean you’ve already been married and divorced once, so it’s probably a safe bet that we wouldn’t have made it either.”
“Is that what you think?” he mumbles.
“I’m fairly certain,” I counter.
“You have no idea!” he yells. His voice is loud and angry inside the small cab. I turn to look out the window, and notice that we are stopped outside of a ritzy hotel in Georgetown. My brownstone isn’t far from here, less than three miles away. I could drive to it easily. Hell I could walk to it if I wasn’t wearing this damn dress and these fucking shoes.
“I don’t want to know,” I remark, punctuating it with a sigh at the end.
“I know you don’t, because you never really cared about me. You never cared about anything but yourself and your damn medical degree.” His voice is low, deep, and gravelly. Anger screams in his voice.
I wonder what he would do if I told him the truth. I wonder if he’d even believe me. I don’t tell him
what really happened, though. “We dodged a bullet, you and I. Why can’t you be grateful?”
He shakes his head, and stares forward out the windshield. His profile is classic, masculine. He’s too good-looking for this Earth. “Do you want to fuck? Because I’ve heard you have absolutely no interest in a relationship or a commitment.” That shocks me. When I remain silent, he turns toward me. “I’m more than happy to fuck you, if that’s all you want.”
“I’m not going to apologize for having sex with whomever I want. I am an adult woman, I’m single, and I have no one to answer to but myself.” I’ve also been saying this to myself for years. If I tell myself this nonsense long enough, I’m sure to believe it, right? “And you’re engaged. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
“Like our engagement was supposed to mean something to you?” The stresses he puts on those particular words literally hurts my heart. But I know he moved on. He dated models. He married a supermodel. He’s engaged to a woman who is at least fifteen years younger than him. Why is he acting like he cares?
“It did. You have to know that.” I don’t mean to get so emotional. I hear my voice crack and everything. I take a deep breath.
But before I can say anything else, he speaks. “It just didn’t mean enough, did it?” He turns toward me again, and his eyes are full of so much anger, so much pain, it’s almost unbearable for me. How is he so calm, when he says, “I didn’t mean enough to you, did I?”
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