by Ellis, Aven
As I take in their words, I feel hope for the first time since I left Niko’s office.
“You’re both right,” I say. “For so long, I carried around this feeling of being rejected. Of being abandoned. If I’m to have any kind of a future, I need to let it go.”
“Let it go,” Amanda whispers, her eyes filling with tears. “You were a prayer answered for Charlotte and Andrew, don’t you see that? A gift. And you are a gift to me and Kenley. And I know Niko feels the same way. That man loves you.”
My heart swells from her words.
“You’re right,” I admit.
“It’s time to lose that baggage,” Amanda says softly.
“I know,” I say, realization dawning on me. “I’m loved. I’m blessed. And once and for all, I know the people who love me aren’t going anywhere.”
“That includes Niko,” Kenley says. “Niko loves you. And Amanda is right. One fight isn’t going to change that.”
“Even if I told him to go to Baltimore?” I admit, heat burning in my cheeks.
“You tell him to come back,” Amanda says easily.
Tell him to come back, I think. Could it be that easy? To tell Niko I love him? To apologize, say my heart was sick with fear, that I never want to lose him again? To tell him that the boy from Greektown grew into the man I love, and that is all I want in this world, to love him as he is? And if he wants to go to Baltimore, we could work it out for his dream job?
Could it be this easy?
There’s only one way to find out.
And I intend to do so right now.
Chapter 28
The One Online Dating Service Profile Question: When do you know if a relationship is at the end, or if it’s worth fighting for?
My write-in answer: I will bare my heart and my soul to make things right with the man I love.
As soon as the elevator doors open to Niko’s floor, I run down the hall toward his apartment. I know I look like a lunatic. I’m disheveled from crying, I have his Christmas present tucked under my arm, and I was in such a hurry to get to his place that I didn’t even bother with putting a coat on, despite the fact that it’s freezing outside.
Because only one thing mattered.
Not wasting a single second in order to get to him.
I reach his door, and I vigorously pound the metal surface.
“Niko!” I call out, my voice sounding desperate to my own ears. “Niko, please, I need to talk to you.” Then I bang on the door again for good measure. “It’s urgent.”
I hold my breath as I wait for him to answer. Please, please, answer the door, I will him. I need to see you. I need to explain everything.
I need to tell you I love you.
Suddenly I hear a lock being turned. My heart stops beating. Niko pulls open the door, a shocked expression on his gorgeous face.
Now my heart slams to life, pounding against my ribs. I swallow, trying to find my words.
Niko stands still in the doorway. Now I see intensity burning in his eyes. His jaw is set as he stares at me.
And he’s not saying a word.
Panic grips me. What if he’s not going to respond like I thought he would? What if Niko thinks the damage is beyond repair?
What if he doesn’t want me?
I can’t accept that. I can’t. I have to tell him I love him.
Now.
“Niko, I—”
I don’t get any farther than that before Niko grabs my wrist and pulls me into his body, his mouth crushing against mine in a desperate kiss.
I drop the package I’m holding. I urgently kiss him back, the kiss of two people who thought they’d never touch again. His mouth is demanding, taking from mine with urgency. His hands are on my arms, tightly holding me to him, as if he was afraid I’d leave him again.
I surrender myself to him, kissing him passionately. I find the back of his neck and wrap my hands around it, inhaling his familiar cedar and spice scent and relishing the way his five o’clock shadow burns against my face. I’ve come home to him, the taste of his lips, the warmth of his skin, the feeling of my body pressed into his.
I’m home.
And I’m never leaving again.
Niko abruptly breaks the kiss, and we’re both gasping for breath. He puts his hands on my face, and tears fill my eyes as he begins caressing me.
“Σ'αγαπώ,” he says softly. “Είμαι ερωτευμένος μαζί σου.”
I gaze up at him, the tears falling freely as I wait for him to translate his words. Niko lightly sweeps his fingers over my cheeks, wiping my tears away.
“I love you,” he says, his voice thick. “I’m in love with you, Lexi. I have been for a long time. And when you walked out, when you told me to go—”
“I didn’t mean it,” I cry, framing his gorgeous face in my hands. “I was so hurt I couldn’t think straight. I love you, Niko. I love you so much. I’ve never wanted to say those words to anyone but you. But I love you, and I don’t want you to go. Ever.”
I see Niko’s eyes grow watery as I confess my love to him.
“You’ve changed the meaning of that word for me,” Niko says. “I’ve never been in love with anyone the way I fell in love with you.”
We kiss again, and I cling to him, feeling his strong arms around me.
And I know we’re never letting each other go again.
I step back from him, placing my hands on his chest. “We both need a breakout,” I say, my voice cracking, “of the thinking we have set for ourselves. After we argued, I realized that I was holding on to unnecessary fear. Fear of you leaving me because of what happened in my past. But I realized you weren’t going anywhere.”
Niko’s eyes widen in surprise. “I will never leave you. You’re everything to me. I love you. And I want to love you forever. My fear was that someday you would want more than me. Because you could have that, Lexi. But when you were in my office, as soon as I said those words and saw the look on your face, I realized what an idiot I was. You want the guy I am. But I was so caught up in fearing I wasn’t enough that I missed that fact.”
“Niko, everything you have dealt with in life has made you into an incredible person, like no one I’ve ever known. One who is passionate and driven and loving. I have what I want as long as you live by the words you have inked on your arm. Know thyself. That’s all I want from you. Stay true to yourself, because that’s the man I love.”
“I promise I will,” Niko says, dropping his lips on mine. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
We kiss again, but this time slowly and sweetly. I break the kiss and smile up at him. I slide my hands up to the base of his neck, and he immediately winces.
“Baby, your hands are like ice,” he says, drawing my hands back from him. He takes one of my hands in-between his as he begins to rub. “Why don’t you have your gloves on? And where’s your coat?”
I smile at him. “I didn’t have time for winter gear. I needed to get to you.”
Niko looks at me disapprovingly. “Lexi, I don’t like that.”
“Niko,” I mimic back, “I survived it.”
He tries not to grin but fails. Then we both laugh.
“Come on, let’s sit down,” Niko says. “But I should probably shut the door first.”
I smile as he reaches past me to close it.
“I didn’t even notice it was still open,” I admit.
“Yeah, me neither,” Niko says, smiling back at me. “But I was busy kissing the woman I love.”
I blush happily in response to his words. He shuts the door and locks it. Then he takes a step toward the living room and his foot hits his present. “What’s that?”
“Oh!” I gasp. I bend down to pick it up. �
�I wanted to give you your Christmas present now. Before you go to Baltimore.”
I hand it to him. Niko takes it, and then he looks back at me. “Let’s talk about Baltimore. I need to explain.”
He moves toward the living room, holding my hand in his. Niko sinks down on the sofa and pulls me down next to him. He sets the present aside for a moment so he can wrap his arms around me.
“I’m not going home,” he says softly.
I turn around so I’m facing him. “Niko, why?” I ask, stunned. “You have an interview and your family and you have to go!”
“No, I don’t. I wanted to use the interview with the Blades to leverage for a permanent position here,” Niko says, stroking my hair with his hand. “I was telling the truth when I told you that.”
“But that job was your dream,” I cry, shocked.
“My dream changed.”
My heart grows still. “What?” I ask softly.
“My dream,” Niko says, “is you. Everything changed that day I pushed you out of the way of that puck. I want to be here. With you. I want to build a life here with you, Lexi.”
“Niko, I would go to Baltimore if that’s what you wanted to do,” I say, reaching for his hand and linking my fingers through it.
“I know you would. But Dallas is your home. And I didn’t feel like I was home until I found it here with you.”
Tears fill my eyes. This man, this amazing man, loves me above everything else.
“I love you,” I whisper.
“I love you, too,” Niko says, leaning in to drop a kiss on my lips. “So I called the Blades and asked if I could do a phone interview instead, that my plans had changed. So we’re having it the day after Christmas. Then I’m going to Tony and putting all my cards on the table. I’ll either get a contract extension or I won’t. But I will do everything in my power to get this job permanently. For us.”
“You’ll get it,” I say. “I know you will. But even if you don’t, we’ll figure it out. Together. Just like we’ll figure out my plans since Wyatt said I might not be coming back next season.”
Niko’s eyes immediately flash. “What?”
I take a breath before speaking. I know what I’m going to say is going to make Niko furious. “I talked to Wyatt right before we had our fight. He said there wasn’t room in the budget for me to be added to staff. And that he hoped to train a staff person over the summer to do hockey so they could save money by not bringing me back.”
I watch his face. And within a second of finishing, I know Niko is furious.
“ηλίθιος!” Niko snaps. “Idiot! No, no fucking way one of those morons can do what you do. I’ll fix it.”
“Niko, you can’t fight my fights for me,” I say, shaking my head.
“Wrong. You’re my girl. I will fight for you.”
I can’t help it. I laugh, and Niko furrows his brow.
“What?” he asks.
“I picture you going in and punching Wyatt and yelling at him in Greek.”
Niko grins. “That would be fun, but no.” Then he turns serious. “After Christmas, go to Tony. He’s got a head on his shoulders. Who cares if you are going over Wyatt’s head? You went up the right chain of command. This is your future. Don’t let Wyatt decide how it’s going to play out.”
I take in his words, thinking he’s right. I have to try everything I can to secure a future at TATS.
“You’re pretty smart,” I say, grinning.
“Why, thank you. But the plan is for both of us to work together next fall.”
“Okay,” I say. “We can both talk to Tony after the holidays.” Then I study him. “And speaking of the holidays, don’t you want to see your family? You never get to spend Christmas with them.”
“I told them I wanted to be with you,” Niko says firmly. “They aren’t happy, but they’re never happy with me. I promised I’d fly up there during All-Star break in February. I’m not spending Christmas without you. Not for the rest of my life is that going to happen.”
Niko pauses before continuing. “And I want you to come to Baltimore with me in February. I want you to meet them. Lexi, I would have taken you home for Christmas but I knew my mom would be awful to you. I was terrified that after one holiday with them, you’d run. That you would ask yourself why you were putting up with this crap. But now I know you would. You would deal with it all to be with me.”
“I would,” I say. “And I will. They can’t chase me away from you. Nobody can.”
We kiss again, in the glow of the lights from the hockey-stick Christmas tree, and never has the magic of Christmas felt more real than it does at this moment.
As I think of Christmas, I immediately break the kiss. “Your present! You need to open it.”
I pick it up and hand it to him.
“We can wait until Christmas,” Niko says. “I’m here now, remember?”
“No, you have to open it now,” I say.
Niko grins. “Okay. I’m opening.”
I watch excitedly as he tears off the paper. He lifts it up to reveal the book I made for him.
“It’s a picture book of our story,” I say happily. “I had it made by one of those photo companies into a real book.”
I see the look of amazement on Niko’s face as he flips it open. The first page is a picture of the Dallas Demons practice facility with my caption of the story of how we met. Then he goes through the rest of it, with pictures of us, of things we’ve gone to, things we love.
When Niko gets to the last page, he stops to read the inscription:
I can’t wait to continue the rest of our story. Lexi
Niko keeps his eyes down on the page for a second. Then he slowly lifts his eyes to meet mine.
“You had this made for me,” he says quietly. “And you knew you loved me when you did.”
I can tell I’ve touched his heart. “I did.”
He leans forward and draws me into his arms. “I’m never letting you go again,” he whispers into my hair. “I love you, Lexi Stewart.”
“That’s all I want for Christmas,” I whisper back. “Don’t ever stop loving me.”
“Now that’s not a gift,” Niko declares. “That’s a given. But I do have a gift for you.”
He kisses the top of my head and stands up. I watch as he stands up and goes over to the tree. Niko bends down and retrieves a box, bringing it over to me.
“Merry Christmas, baby,” Niko says, handing me the present.
Happiness fills me. It really is Christmas now that I know Niko loves me as much as I love him.
He sits back down next to me and I eagerly tear at the paper. And as soon as I do, I find the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon board game.
I squeal in delight. “Oh my God! You found one!”
Niko grins. “That eBay is an amazing place.”
I throw my arms around him. “I absolutely love it!”
“You know when we were talking about it at the rink, the first day we met?” Niko asks.
I nod.
“I knew it was a sign,” Niko says. “It had to be. Nobody knew what that was anytime I referenced it. Nobody. But you did. This sexy, beautiful, red-haired girl who loved hockey knew the Kevin Bacon game. And I thought, this is my girl. She has to be my girl.”
Tears fill my eyes again. “I am your girl. And I always will be.”
I lean forward and kiss him.
“Wait,” Niko murmurs against my lips, “I have more.”
I lean back from him. “More?”
“Come on, I wouldn’t just give you a Kevin Bacon game for Christmas, would I?”
I grin as he goes back over to the tree and picks up two more things. I can see one is in an envelope, the other in a small flat box.
&nb
sp; “This is the next one,” Niko says, handing me the envelope.
I grin as I tear it open, and inside I find a Starbucks gift card.
“Oooh, thank you,” I say. “You know I’ll use it.”
“That’s only for when I’m on the road,” Niko explains. “Because when I’m not on the road, I’ll be bringing you coffee in the morning.”
“I love you with the intensity of a thousand suns,” I declare.
Niko lifts an eyebrow. “That’s a lot of suns.”
“I have a lot of love for you,” I say right back.
Niko flashes me a smile in response to my words, one that reveals the dimple in his cheek. The one I’ll never get tired of seeing for the rest of my life.
“Final present,” Niko says, passing me the flat box.
I unwrap the paper and slowly lift the lid off the box. Inside I find a silver necklace, one with an infinity charm and two small silver disc charms attached, one with an ‘L’ and the other with an ‘N.’
“Infinity,” I whisper, moved by his gift.
“Eternity,” Niko says. “That’s what I found with you. What we have is for eternity, Lexi.”
“I love it so much,” I say, moved by the heart behind the gift.
“Merry Christmas,” he whispers, leaning in to kiss me.
“Merry Christmas,” I say back as his lips meet mine.
I break the kiss and hand him the necklace. “I want to wear it. Will you put it on?”
“Of course,” Niko says. “Turn around.”
I turn around and Niko gently drapes the necklace around my neck, hooking the clasp together.
“There,” Niko says.
I gently run my fingers over the charms, thinking I am the luckiest girl in the world, to find love with a man like Niko.