“This is painful to watch.” Jess scrunches her nose. “I like there to be some sport involved. What was the Dark Knight thinking, challenging Rampage? He’s a middleweight at best. Who’s next on the card?”
“I’ve got the lineup on the invitation email.” I paw through my purse, looking for my phone. Damn. Everything is still wet from my little jaunt in the rain. My hand closes over a small plastic disc, and I pull out my pills. Double damn. Not only did I forget to take one last night, but they’ve also turned into little wet smudges of beige. I find my phone and send myself a reminder to pick up a refill tomorrow. If I go first thing, I’ll only have missed two.
After showing her the evening lineup, I tuck my phone away just as Blade Saw saunters over to join us.
Jess frowns. “Aren’t you supposed to be watching Rampage’s back?”
Blade Saw throws an arm around her shoulder and pecks her lightly on the cheek. “Waste of time. Rampage is just toying with him. When the crowd gets bored, he’ll put him out of his misery.” He looks over at me and winks. “Heard a rumor you’d hooked up with the Predator. He’s fighting next.”
“Uh…yeah…it’s just casual.” I roll my eyes at Jess. Redemption is notoriously bad for gossip, worse even than high school. The last thing I need is for Blade Saw to run around telling everyone I confirmed the rumor, when in fact, we’re no longer together.
“That why he told everyone at Redemption to stay away from you this morning?”
My breath catches in my throat. “He didn’t.”
“Guys at Redemption need to know when someone has staked a claim.” Blade Saw peers around the dude in front of him to check out the situation in the ring. Rampage has the Dark Knight on the ground in a painful submission. The Dark Knight struggles and strains for all of three seconds and then taps out. Rampage wins. He fist pumps the crowd as if he actually had to exert himself or use any skill, and receives the concomitant praise.
Jess frowns. “She’s not a piece of land.”
“She’s taken.” Blade Saw pulls her into his side. “Just like you.”
Jess’s eyes widen, and she shoots me a glance. I know what she’s thinking. Maybe Tag didn’t make his move because of the unspoken rule at Redemption about trespassing on a teammate’s territory. But, oh, poor Blade Saw. He is totally enamored with Jess. I don’t want to see him get hurt.
Before I can intervene, Ray steps into the ring. His opponent is the Anarchist, an amateur from a rival club in Menlo Park. Physically they appear compatible, although the Anarchist is maybe an inch or two shorter and much broader in the chest. He wears a black mask with eyeholes that makes Jess laugh and Blade Saw groan. Masked competitors get no respect. MMA is about the fight, not theatrics.
Ray takes the center of the ring. His muscles ripple, his six-pack gleaming under the lights as he shakes the Anarchist’s hand. He is wearing blue fight shorts with nothing on the sides. I’ve never seen him wearing anything plain and my heart tightens just a tiny bit.
The second the ref signals the start of the fight, Ray plants his right hand on the Anarchist’s jaw and tugs down the mask, covering the Anarchist’s eyes. The crowd roars in appreciation. The Anarchist flails, throwing a kick and trying to knee Ray in the stomach, except by the time his knee gets there, Ray’s stomach is nowhere to be found. Blind, the Anarchist attempts a takedown, but is easily thwarted by Ray’s solid hammer fist.
So much aggression. So much power. I want that power used on me, holding me, restraining me, fucking me. My cheers distract Ray, and his gaze flicks in my direction. The Anarchist manages to straighten his mask and throws another knee to Ray’s body and then another. As he hammers his knees home, Ray wails on him with elbows until the Anarchist sinks to his knees and taps out—a win for the Predator and the shortest fight of the evening.
We stay for the rest of the fights, but I am distracted searching for Ray. What if I’ve made a mistake? What if I shouldn’t have pushed him away?
After the last fight, Rampage meets us on the street, and we decide to head over to the Dirty Diva’s bar where Christos is playing tonight. I take one last look around the empty parking lot and sigh.
Jess gives my hand a squeeze. “The first few weeks are the hardest.”
“I know.”
* * *
Dirty Divas is hopping when we arrive, and even more hopping when it is swarmed by testosterone-fueled fighters fresh out of the ring. Rampage flexes his biceps and growls at a crowd of college freshmen, then scores us a booth at the back with an awesome view of the stage.
“I thought you said Christos’s band wasn’t any good.” Jess flips her quarter at the collection of shot glasses in the center of the table. She’s killer at Quarters and seems determined to get me drunk tonight.
“They weren’t. But they got a new keyboardist and vocalist a few months ago, and it’s been a major improvement.” An understatement if there ever was one. Their first set of hard rock covers blows me away. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so reassuring to Slim when I told him Christos would never leave.
The quarter bounces off the edge of one shot glass and then slips inside. “Score.” Jess pumps her fist in the air and then points to me. “Drink up.”
With a sigh, I take the glass and down the shot, then pull my quarter out of the game. Two is my limit. Any more and I’ll be drunk texting Ray and all the boyfriends I’ve ever had.
The band takes a break and a DJ takes over. He throws on some Lady Gaga and Jess grabs my hand. She can work Lady G like there’s no tomorrow. Slightly dizzy with the vodka rush, I grab Rampage’s shoulder to steady myself.
“You okay there?” His brow wrinkles in concern.
“I’m good. Just stood up too fast.”
Rampage frowns. “Tag and the Predator will have my head if anything happens to you.” He glares at Blade Saw and Hammer Fist across the table, both of who are trying to flip a coin into one of the glasses. “I think we’ll end the game and I’ll order you some water.”
My stomach clenches and I glare. “Why does everyone think they have to look out for me? I’m a big girl. I go drinking all the time. I know when I’ve had enough. And I’ve changed. I’m living on the edge now.”
“You’re not big.” Rampage snorts. “You’re little. Go live on the edge on the dance floor.” He points toward the heaving crowd and Jess dancing alone in the center.
“I’m not liking you very much right now.”
Rampage laughs. “I didn’t think it was possible, but you’re even cuter when you’re angry. Go, before I do something the Predator will make me regret.”
“He doesn’t own me.” I throw out the words over my shoulder as I stomp away.
Rampage’s smile fades. “Yes, he does.”
Jess and I dance up a storm until Blade Saw decides he wants in on the action, leaving me without a dance partner. But never mind. The dance floor is packed. I wiggle and shimmy with a few of the non-Redemption fighters from the event, showing off my moves as best I can in the three-inch silver stilettos and skirt I always keep in my trunk in case of an emergency dance trip, which with Jess, happens every week.
The band returns to the stage and launches into a cover of Atrocity’s “Let’s Dance.” Good song. My fighter buddies think so too. One of them is so happy he gives me a hug. He disappears. Oh, he hasn’t disappeared. He has turned into Ray.
My new fighter friends run away. One of them is holding his hand over his eye. He doesn’t look so happy anymore.
And neither am I. Ray closes in on me. His hair is wet like he just showered, and he smells deliciously of citrus-scented body wash. My entire body aches for him, and I am tempted to open my arms until he scowls.
“What the fuck are you wearing?”
“Clothes.”
Ray shakes his head. “No one should see you dressed like that but me.”
“Not anymore.”
People dance around us. Someone bumps into me, and Ray grabs him by the shoulder and pulls bac
k his arm.
“Watch where you’re dancing.”
Heart thumping, I step between them, pressing myself against Ray’s body as I push down his arm. “Calm down. We’re the ones who shouldn’t have been standing on the dance floor.”
Ray growls deep in his chest but he doesn’t move. “We need to talk.”
“There’s nothing left to say.”
The music segues into a cover of Orisha Sound’s sultry “Own Ya.” Ray’s eyes burn into me, and he tangles one hand through my hair and yanks my head back, leaning close to whisper in my ear. “I am fucking wound up tight after that fight. It took me this long just to come down enough to walk in the door to find you so we could talk. This is not a game you want to play with me right now.”
“I’m not playing games. I meant what I said last night.”
“Jesus Christ, Sia.” His free hand tightens around me, his fingers digging so hard into my skin that I’m sure I’ll have bruises tomorrow. “Then what are you doing in my arms?”
Emotion wells up in my chest. I can’t bear to pull myself away. His body feels so right against mine. Warm. Safe. Solid. Unyielding. This is where I want to be.
“I don’t know,” I say. “I can’t walk away.”
He looks down at me, his expression dark and hungry. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?”
I slide my hands over his chest. “If it’s anything like what you do to me, then you can’t walk away either, so maybe we should dance.”
His hand slides down my spine to my ass, and he holds me against him as we sway in slow circles around the dance floor. I press my cheek against his chest and wrap my arms around him and pretend last night didn’t happen—pretend he didn’t break my trust and all is right with the world.
“Ray.” I whisper his name.
He tips my head back, firm fingers under my chin, then he leans down and slants his mouth over mine. His kiss is possessive, demanding, leaving no one in the bar in any doubt that I belong to him.
And he belongs to me.
The band segues into Beyonce’s “Drunk in Love.” I finally try to pull away, but Ray holds me tight. His heart beats steadily, his hips sway gently to the music, and his arms are firm around me. Who was I kidding when I told Jess it was over? I’ll never get over Ray. He is the missing part of me. Hard to my soft. Dark to my light. Rough to my smooth. Heart of my heart.
“So quiet.” He nuzzles my neck. “What are you thinking?”
“I think we should go talk.” I rock up and brush my lips over his. Ray groans softly and cups my nape with his hand, and moments later we are caught in a passionate kiss that I feel through my heart and deep into my soul.
The band switches gear to an Anthrax cover. I mentally take back my comments about their improvement. Musically, they are better, but they don’t have a clue about putting together a set. The dance floor clears, and Ray excuses himself to take a call. By the time I get back to the table, Doctor Death has joined the party along with Shayla and a few other Redemption fighters I don’t know. I suffer through five minutes of good-natured abuse about taming the Predator, and then Doctor Death pulls me to the side.
“Did you think about what I told you about Ray?”
I give a casual shrug. “I know his secret.” Not entirely true. I have made a reasonably intelligent guess that he’s some kind of special agent, maybe black ops or FBI or even, if the rumor is true, CIA. And I’ve watched enough TV to know that if I’m right, he can’t reveal his secret to me without putting me in danger. Which, although kinda frightening, is also kinda cool. My Ray. A spy.
“So you know it can never work.” He pulls me into his arms as if in sympathy, except when you’re consoling someone, you don’t cop a feel of their ass.
“Hey! This ass is taken.” I slap his hand and pull away.
“Hands off.”
But they aren’t my words. They are Ray’s words, and he is bearing down on us in a rage like I’ve never seen before. Face taut, muscles quivering, danger oozes from his pores and people scatter, clearing his path.
“Christ.” Rampage looks up at Doctor Death. “Do you never learn?” He slides out of the booth and motions for Blade Saw to join him. “I’m guessing there’s gonna be trouble.”
“What the fuck?” Ray growls, keeping his voice low. “I thought I told you to stay away from her.” He tosses a chair out of the way and shoves Doctor Death in the chest. Black-shirted bouncers head in our direction, and I tug on Ray’s arm.
“Ray…it’s okay. I had it under control.”
Doctor Death staggers back, but moments later he pulls himself up, going head-to-head with Ray. They are instantly swarmed by bouncers, and within minutes they are both outside on the patio.
“I’m leaving.” Doctor Death holds up his hands palms forward in a gesture of surrender. “Not causing any trouble. If I was out of line, I apologize. Just calm down.”
“Calm down?” Ray hits him with a left hook. Doctor Death dodges the blow only to meet Ray’s right. His head snaps to the side and blood trickles from his nose.
“Predator. Stand down,” Rampage shouts. “He apologized.”
But Ray doesn’t stop. He is kicking and punching without mercy. If Doctor Death wasn’t a fighter too, he would, no doubt, be unconscious on the ground, but he manages to hold his own, albeit in a totally defensive mode. Still, he is clearly suffering, and when Ray raises his hand for a hammer fist, I can’t take anymore.
“STOP.” My voice rises to a shriek, and I take a step toward them. Rampage grabs my hand and pulls me back.
“You, go over there. You’ll just get hurt.”
“If I go over there, Doctor Death will be Doctor Dead.” I step forward and grab Ray’s arm. “Please. Stop. He’s down. He apologized. He’s not a threat.”
“Get back.” Ray sweeps his arm back to free himself from my grip, and the force of his swing sends me flying into some empty patio tables. I hit the ground hard.
“Sia!” Ray looks down at me aghast, his opponent forgotten.
But when he takes a step toward me, I hold up a hand. “I don’t know you. Just leave me alone.”
Hammer Fist and Blade Saw run to help Doctor Death, and Jess and Rampage help me up. Staggering to my feet, I grab Jess’s hand. “Let’s go.”
She glances back over her shoulder to where Ray is still standing. I can feel his eyes burning into me, willing me to turn around.
“Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been more certain.”
Chapter 23
Undress me
Jess drops me off at home. A storm hits just as I wave good-bye. Thunder booms overhead and lightning sheets the sky. How perfect.
My apartment door is unlocked and light streams from underneath. The stolen “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door handle is Tag’s way of letting me know he’s decided to crash at my place, a necessity after I almost had a heart attack the first time I walked into the dark apartment and found him on my couch.
“Got a pic from Rampage.” He holds up his phone with a picture of me and Ray on the dance floor. “Didn’t think you’d be home tonight.”
With a sigh, I dump my stuff and join Tag on the couch. “Doctor Death squeezed my ass. Ray went ballistic. He totally overreacted. I thought he was going to kill him. So I left. I couldn’t deal.”
“I guess not. You okay?”
A ball of emotion rises in my chest, and my throat tightens. “I don’t know what to do. It feels so right when we’re together. He can be so gentle and passionate, and he has this dry sense of humor that cracks me up. He just…gets me. Sometimes he knows what I want before I do. But every time I think I know him, I find out something that makes me second-guess myself. I just wanted to be able trust someone, but he has so many secrets. And the violence… Even though I love the fights, sometimes I think he isn’t in control. He knocked me down tonight. I know he didn’t mean to do it, but it happened.”
Tag’s face softens in sympathy. “He’
s crazy about you, Sia. He pulled all sorts of strings and called in all sorts of favors to find Luke. That guy has connections like you wouldn’t believe. And he did it for you. It should have been me in that alley making sure justice was done. But Ray wouldn’t let me near him. He said he didn’t want me to mess up my police career. And that was for you as much as it was for me, because he thought you’d blame yourself if I did.”
“He was right.”
“My police work is all about catching guys like Luke and putting them in jail,” Tag says. “It’s about me finding justice and getting over the guilt of not being there to protect you. But Ray was there for you and only you.”
“Tag…” My voice wavers. “It’s not your fault. You warned me about Luke. You did everything you could do. You can’t feel guilty for my choices, and you can’t feel guilty that there are people like Luke walking the streets. You’re a good person. The best. Why do you think Jess has stuck it out for so long?”
“Lack of a better option?” He turns away and his shoulders heave.
“She has an option. Right now. And she’s still waiting for you to get your head out of your ass.”
“Seems to be a family trait,” he says, leaning back against the cushions. “I’ve got this sister who’s in love with this guy, but she says she can’t be with him because she doesn’t trust him. So she keeps pushing him away. She doesn’t realize you can’t trust someone if you don’t let them close enough to see what kind of person they really are.”
“So, what happens to this sister of yours?”
Tag shrugs. “Don’t know. She’s got her head stuck up her ass pretty damn far and it’s a long way down.”
“Very sweet. But very crude.”
“That’s me.” Tag grins. “That’s what keeps the ladies coming back.”
With a snort, I grab the remote and flip through the channels. Tag likes sports, sports, and more sports. He doesn’t know other channels exist. Just for fun, I stop at the Discovery Channel. They are doing a special on apes. We watch as the dominant ape tosses a lesser ape across the jungle floor and steals his woman. Ape shenanigans ensue.
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