by Fiona Keane
“Then you need to make me an honest person, Avery.” Sean’s whisper sent a chill through my body. The footsteps doubled and grew in volume and proximity. Jesse’s laughter was heard among the noise of Lizzie’s sink and clinking glass bottles. As the door opened, Sean’s head moved from my ear, but his arm still clung to me.
“Hey, man,” Jesse greeted Sean. “Ready?” I turned to face Sean, my expression empty and his eyes full of so much more.
He smiled at me while responding to Jesse, his lips pulling apart mischievously. “I am.”
As Sean stood to meet Jesse, he finished the last gulp of his beer and tossed the bottle in Lizzie’s patio recycling bin, an up-cycled ceramic pot from a thrift store on the east side. He is? What does that mean?
I reluctantly got up and said goodbye, considering Sean was leaving for Miami in three days, but I felt frozen in afterthought of the exchange we just had.
“Hey, Jesse,” I called for him as I stood, “don’t let this one get into too much trouble this weekend.”
Sean reached out for my arms, pulling me into a delightfully suffocating embrace. My cheek was sore from the frames of the sunglasses clinging to the V of his t-shirt. I returned the hug, trying not to accidentally give away too much. This was my friend, my friend with a girlfriend, and no matter what a ruthless flirting bastard he was, he was still just my friend…and there was also sort of Declan…and my window seat.
“I’ll miss you,” he whispered quietly, kissing my hair again. “Be good while I’m gone.”
“You be good. I’m too young to be an aunt,” I teased, squeezing him once more around the ribs and trying to pull away. He had me locked against him while Jesse continued mumbling something.
“I’m always good, Ave.” Those four words held a promise that made my knees weak, but that was Sean, always ruthless.
Chapter Five
I met Jesse for coffee at the Coffee Trader at the Capitol end of State Street. It was a slow Friday morning, and only a handful of people were out before the throngs of workers arrived to the hive that is downtown. I sipped from my iced hazelnut coffee, relishing in my delicious caffeinated addiction.
“So I was thinking,” Jesse interrupted my reverie, “I’m going to take Ella to New York.”
“And…” I watched him fidget with the coffee stirrer, blending the cream and coffee into a tan liquid. His stirring hand seemed to shake a little, and he was stalling. It was uncharacteristic of my outspoken, tattooed, and adorably insufferable friend.
He pulled at the neck of his dress shirt, loosening his tie. “I want to ask her to marry me.”
“Oh!” I almost dropped my glass, tragedy prevented. “Jesse!”
“I know. Right?” He grinned, his normal glow returning to his long face. I reached for his hand across the table, squeezing it tightly.
“This is amazing! I’m so excited for you. You’re asking a lot of me to keep this one under cover. Did you tell Sean?” I miss him. Can I call him and tell him? Jesse laughed, as if reading my mind, and nodded his head.
“Already done, lady bird. Want to look at rings with me after work?”
I blushed, feeling guilty. “I can’t.”
He eyed me speculatively as he fixed his purple paisley tie, his mouth hanging open in suspicion. “You have a date.”
“I do.”
“With that guy.” Jesse nodded behind me. “Declan?”
I turned in my seat, holding my coffee to my lips. I did not sleep well last night. Declan was speaking with a man and woman at the intersection down the block from us, waiting to cross and march in our direction. I hadn’t been privy to seeing him dressed for work yet. His tailored navy suit hugged him in a way that made my stomach flutter. His dark blond hair was combed back, revealing his dark brown eyes. I looked back at our table, nervously sucking down my coffee. Why was I nervous? It must be the caffeine.
“Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle,” Jesse cooed. “You’re blushing.”
“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes. “Just…act normal.”
“Ave, I’m wearing a suit and tie. How less normal could I act right now?” Jesse waved his hands in front of his chest, as if to display his out-of-character attire.
“Avery?” Declan asked as he approached our table. “Jesse, hey. It’s nice to see you again, man. How are you guys?”
“Hi, Declan.” I beamed. Jesse shook Declan’s outstretched hand and studied him tentatively and protectively. The man and woman Declan had been speaking with continued walking toward the square, leaving Declan at our table.
“Do you want to join us?” Jesse asked, pushing the third chair out from under our small bistro table. Declan glanced at me, flashing his perfect smile.
“I’d love to, but I have to head in a little early this morning. I’ll tell Lizzie I ran into you two. I’ll get you around seven, Avery?” I nodded in response, my mouth full with an ice cube that slipped in with my final sip of coffee.
“Can’t wait.” He bent down and kissed my cheek. Melt. Who does that anymore? He nodded at Jesse and winked at me before continuing on his way. I felt frozen, and not from the ice cube.
“Whoa,” Jesse muttered. “Mr. Boss needs to take it down a notch.”
“I think it’s endearing, Jesse,” I scolded him. “So…yes, with that guy. I have a date tonight.”
“Nice.” He grinned approvingly. “We’ll look at rings tomorrow then? We have to go. It’s already seven-thirty.”
I loved my job. The University had a very selective process for hiring their policy analysts, and I was fortunate to be one. Most of my time was spent analyzing research-based instructional methods and assessments and preparing reports on their success, or lack thereof, throughout the state. While it might not sound like the sexiest of jobs, I enjoyed researching and presenting my findings to some legislators, and I could put my $30,000 master’s degree to good use.
I took the bus across campus if the weather didn’t allow for the half hour walk from my apartment to the education building on the opposite side of town. Jesse took a job for a private consulting company doing similar work, but focusing more on implementation within schools. Either way, his jeans and t-shirts were traded in for a tie and suit that covered the tattoos on his arms that memorialized his bond with his two brothers. And we were able to meet for coffee every Friday before work.
“Good morning, Miss Blake,” Stephanie greeted me with a smile. She was an undergraduate; the type I knew would faint if she ever met Sean. Her short black ponytail bobbed while she waved to me.
“Happy weekend!” I returned her smile and continued toward my office. An office! My computer was slow to start, probably from the week it spent hoarding my reports on a new literacy program I discovered out of Michigan.
“Hey,” Lindsay, my supervisor, popped her head in my door, “we need you to step into a meeting this morning with Andrew and Cooper.” I looked up from my computer at Lindsay, her curly red hair framing her green eyes. She was usually dressed in more casual attire, but was wearing a complete business suit today. But it’s Friday…
“Sure. What time?”
“Ten. Can you bring what you have for the Michigan program? You’ll be presenting.” She knocked on the doorframe and left as quickly as our conversation started.
A meeting at ten with my supervisor, her boss, and my counterpart was surely going to overlap into my lunch. I needed to text Lizzie that our lunch date was cancelled. I reached into my purse, not yet having a chance to toss it in a desk drawer, and took out my phone. Lizzie’s text from this morning was no longer at the top of my messages.
Sean: It’s hot here. You and Lizzie would die from all the swoon-worthiness.
No matter how hard I attempted to roll my eyes, I couldn’t stop the grin spreading to my ears. Smiling from Sean’s message, and not ready to reply, I began messaging Lizzie about our lunch.
The meeting obliterated any hope of completing work while at work, let alone leaving any time near my contr
acted departure at five. While my presentation was thorough and descriptive, Lindsay and Cooper needed more from Andrew and me in terms of implementing the program around our state in addition to seeking out districts willing to pilot. Time slipped from my frantically typing fingers, and it was seven before I was able to look up from my computer screen.
“Avery, can you send an e-mail to the schools in the south and eastern regions?” Lindsay was back at my door. I have a date. A date with a cute guy who combs back his hair and rolls his sleeves up and has fancy shoes. I think she noticed my hesitance, but I couldn’t say no; she was my supervisor, and I hadn’t been there a month.
“Sure.” I smiled politely. “Anything else?”
“Just make sure you and Andrew get those e-mails out and finish the proposals.” Lindsay smiled gently, as if seeking my forgiveness for keeping me at work so late on a Friday night. When she glided away from my door, I took my phone from my drawer and began texting Declan.
Me: I’m very sorry, but I need to stay at work tonight. Rain check?
Declan: I’m sorry to hear that too. Need help? I’m fine with rain checks.
Me: Thank you for understanding. I don’t know when I’ll get out of here. Maybe Sunday?
I put my phone away and continued typing out a proposal and e-mailing districts, as requested. I kept a chat window open with Andrew so we didn’t have to get up, walk five feet into the other’s office, and could continue multi-tasking. Multi-tasking? More like I’m too lazy to get out of my chair and too motivated to go home! Another half hour went by, and I was within striking distance of the final ten e-mails to send out. The sweet thought of my bed never motivated me more.
“I figured they didn’t have enough food for you to last through Sunday.” Declan stood in my doorway, two plastic bags dangling from his palms and a stunning smile spread along his face. The aroma of oregano and garlic quickly filled my office, and I realized how hungry I was.
“What are you doing here?” Surprise tickled the giggle erupting from my lips.
“If you can’t make it to dinner, I thought I could bring dinner to you.” He froze. “I hope that’s okay. I didn’t mean to overstep—”
“Please! I’m starving. This is so kind of you, Declan. Have a seat.” I motioned toward the one empty chair across from my desk and started a pathetic attempt to organize the random assortment of papers and file folders scattered along my desk. As I cleared spaces, Declan placed the contents of his bags out for my inspection.
“Tiramisu, cheese manicotti, garlic bread, and,” he pulled a large cobalt glass bottle from the bag, “sparkling water.”
“This is wonderful.” My heart delighted. “Thank you, Declan.”
He used the black plastic fork and knife to split each item in half and divided the items on a plate for me. The cuffs of his beige cashmere sweater were pulled over his elbows and, because it was dangerous to eat saucy food while wearing anything other than black, he tucked a small napkin into the collar. Between bites and laughter, we shared a conversation about Declan’s week at work, Lizzie’s antics, a deadline he almost missed, and a new client. It was easy to smile along with Declan’s stories because I felt comfortable around him. There were some butterflies, but they felt rested, less anxious. What does that mean?
After stuffing our bellies, Declan offered to drive me home. I was grateful and eager to spend more time with him. He was sweet, his laugh melted me, and he didn’t play games. Unlike some people I know.
The seasonal change danced in the crisp breeze while I stepped from the passenger side of Declan’s SUV. He held the door for me, reaching for my hands as I slid down to meet him on the sidewalk.
“Thank you for bringing dinner. It was a really sweet way to end such a busy day.”
“You’re most welcome, Avery.” We stood in front of each other, waiting for something in our silence. The lines around his eyes radiated his smile. He tucked some loose hair behind my left ear and continued to smile at me. The butterflies were rapidly flying around in my belly, tickling the walls of my insides, as Declan slowly lifted my chin up with the fist formed in his right hand. My cheeks burned, the sensation tickling down my neck. He pulled my head up toward his, meeting our lips. His kiss was delicate, tentative, and I think I wanted more. I don’t miss Sean as much as I did this morning.
“Goodnight, Avery,” Declan whispered into my mouth. Reluctantly, I pulled away to reply, stumbling over my words.
***
“This one is pretty.” I admired the rose gold band holding a half-carat princess cut diamond. “And look at all the pretty little diamonds around the big one.” I fanned my fingers out and turned my hand around, watching the prisms of light dance on the table.
Jesse pursed his lips in contemplation. “That’s too sparkly.”
“Jess,” I held my ring finger to his face, “Ella is too sparkly.” He smiled at me and returned to studying the tray of princess cut diamond rings on the table. There were some truly gaudy and horrendous rings, some that were too simple, or some that just weren’t Ella.
“Fine,” I grumbled and put my dream ring back into the slot and tried not to offend Jesse and his poor taste in jewelry.
“This one?” I pointed to a white gold band with one solitary diamond. He shook his head, looking at me with disgust. He is the difficult one here, not me! I hadn’t had enough coffee to continue standing in the jewelry store. Memories of hiding in clothing racks as a child while my mom scrounged for every possible deal in department stores came flooding back to me.
“Jesse, let’s think about this. Ella is small, bubbly, girly, and dainty. She wears skirts instead of pants, always. She prefers pink wine to anything, and she won’t drink it from anything other than a wine glass. She needs something that is as dainty and proper as she is.”
“Dainty and proper.” He thought about my suggestion and tapped an index finger against his lips. I turned and rested my elbows on the glass case, not caring that the young salesman warned me against it earlier, and sighed.
“Pick one out before I propose to her,” I teased and slowly walked toward the window.
Saturday mornings were the busiest time to be on State Street, regardless of the season. People flocked to the city for the farmer’s market, political protests, and the frequent Friday-night-recovery brunch. Late autumn brought some solace from the crowds, as midterms approached and there were fewer students downtown. I studied the pedestrians, mostly families, gliding down the sidewalk. There was a couple blissfully strolling outside of the jewelry store, ignorant to the day, who caught my eye.
“Earth to Avery,” Jesse called me. “What do you think of this one?”
I slowly returned to Jesse, studying the rose gold ring with a large diamond in the center and four small diamonds on each side, running along the band. It was pretty, dainty, and just about everything Ella would appreciate. I nodded in agreement, covering my mouth as I resisted the impending urge to sob with tears of joy. Jesse beamed, exchanging words with the salesman.
After ring shopping, Jesse took me out for lunch at an Italian restaurant on the top floor of a downtown building completely encapsulated by glass walls and a glass ceiling. It certainly gave way to view ominous clouds willing to produce a healthy storm. I loved the rain. I bet it doesn’t rain in Miami.
As we shared some pizza and garlic bread, because we are carbetarians, Jesse nervously discussed his plans for proposing to Ella. He already reserved their hotel room near Central Park, as well as the carriage for after his proposal. It was hard not to get emotional listening to Jesse swoon over Ella and the boyish grin that plastered his face while he proudly discussed his plans. He nervously pulled on the waist of his wool vest, folded and unfolded his cuffed dress shirt, and blinked so many times that at one point I needed to hold his fist so he would calm.
I felt slightly resentful of Sean for his absence during this important time in Jesse’s life. The more I thought about his carefree lifestyle—no actual need to
work, the fact he was just wasting away on a beach somewhere probably with some skinny model, drinking all day every day, getting all sorts of tan—it really irritated me. Stupid swoon-worthy Sean. But all the while, thinking of his absence was starting to tug at my heart.
As Jesse spoke and his words flew over me, I nodded politely while pretending to listen as I was actually starting to think about his roommate. This is trouble. I vowed to myself to stop thinking about Sean and focus on the here and now. After all, Madison was a lot better than Miami. Sort of.
Chapter Six
Ella, Lizzie, and I were scattered around Lizzie’s living room. It was November, but Lizzie’s condo was a sauna, and her cats struggled for ventilation by lying against the front door. I was curled up in the couch by the bay window, and Lizzie was across from me in a rocking chair she stole from an abandoned school in Indiana on a trip with her father. The floor moaned beneath the chair with each forward movement. Ella was almost asleep on the hardwood floor with Lizzie’s cats. The fingers on her left hand would barely rise every few moments to stroke the thick, brindle fur of Bandit, the morbidly obese and suspiciously gentle cat Lizzie rescued from an alley years prior.
“Do you want another glass of wine?” Lizzie asked, rocking back and forth slowly with a goofy smile on her face. Her curly hair delicately danced around her face with each movement. I shook my head, still giggling from our triplicate buzz and subsequent lethargy. Our girls’ nights were the most fulfilling hours of nothingness: time spent doing entirely nothing, but in the delightfully comfortable company of our tripod friendship.