by Amy Ruttan
“Don’t worry,” he said, that smile still lingering on his lips, as if he enjoyed the fact that she had sprawled on top of him.
“How are you feeling?” she asked, not making eye contact with him.
“Good. How long was I out for?” he asked, propping himself up on his good side.
“Just the night.” She looked around. “What time is it actually?”
He glanced at his wristwatch. “Noon.”
She groaned. “I’m so sorry. I fell asleep at my post.”
Jack frowned then and got up slowly, wincing slightly. “I should be the one protecting you until you’re rescued.”
“You were injured and feverish.” She scooted over. “I would like to check your wound, if you don’t mind?”
He nodded and she lifted his shirt, unwrapping the bandage. The wound looked good and the stitches were holding. She changed the dressing and then washed her hands while he got the fire in his wood stove started again, taking the dirty bandages and burning them.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
“Starving. Although I ate some of your beans last night.”
“Well, you and I both need some good protein. I’ll go down to the lake and catch a salmon after I clean up a bit in the bathroom.”
Lisa nodded. “And what should I do?”
“Stay put.”
“I could check the snare lines?” Though she didn’t want to, she also didn’t want to be useless and locked away like some helpless doll.
“Absolutely not,” he said vehemently. “I will do that later. I’m familiar with it.”
“You said we were safe here. Why can’t I?”
“You can come fishing with me, but you’ll hide along the tree line. I don’t want anyone to come by in a boat and report that you’re here. It’s fine if they see me, the locals are used to seeing me, but not you.”
Lisa worried her lip. He was right. The locals would be used to seeing him, the few that would be around the lake. The last thing she needed was to be spotted by an agent of Bio-Tek. Jack had done so much to protect her. She didn’t want to cost him his life too.
He’s protecting me because it’s his job.
“You know what, I think I’ll stay at the cabin. You’re right.”
Jack cocked an eyebrow as if he didn’t believe her. “You sure?”
“Yes, I’ll keep the fire going.” She crossed her arms.
“Okay.” Jack disappeared into the bathroom. As much as she wanted to get out of this cabin and contact her commander, she was sore out of luck.
When he came out, he had changed. He was wearing denim and a flannel shirt. The scruff on his chin suited him. In an instant he went from a deadly, human weapon to a rustic.
“What?” he asked.
“What do you mean what?”
“You’re gawking at me.”
Heat flooded her cheeks. “I’ve never seen you like that. You look more like a lumberjack than a trained SEAL.”
“Good, because lumberjack is preferable to SEAL.” He went to a rack on the wall, jammed a worn baseball cap down on his head and then pulled off a fishing pole. He opened the door, turning back to her as he grabbed a tackle box. “The gun is on the table. Remember?”
“Shoot anyone that isn’t you.”
A brief smile cracked and he nodded, shutting the door behind him.
Lisa let out a sigh and then went to the washroom to clean herself up. When she looked in the mirror she groaned as she saw creases in her cheek from where she’d slept pressed against Jack. Obviously it had been a deep sleep, and, since Dane died, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept so soundly.
After Dane died and Jack disappeared, she threw every ounce of her life into her work in the Navy, because working hard filled the gaps, the holes that were in her heart. It didn’t take away the loneliness that plagued her, but it helped numb it.
Being back around Jack and she slept like a baby. A dreamless sleep.
It’s exhaustion. Not Jack.
Except it was Jack. Completely. And even though she thought she was over him, it was apparent that she wasn’t. It was dangerous ground to tread, because she just couldn’t put her heart at risk. Besides, when she was rescued she would probably have to go into the witness protection program.
She’d never seen Jack again.
Then she just had to stop worrying about her heart and enjoy the last few days with Jack. A chance to get proper closure and put the ghosts to rest.
The door opened and she cracked open the bathroom door to see Jack come in with a salmon. He spied the gun on the table and then looked up at her.
“Lisa, the gun!”
“I know. Give me a break, I was in the washroom.” She finished up and washed her hands. Jack was over in the kitchen, the window over the sink was open and a breeze blew into the stuffy cabin.
It was nice.
Jack glanced over his shoulder. “You never did listen.”
“What’re you talking about?” she asked.
“The gun. That’s twice.” He pulled out a long knife to clean the fish in the sink. “And there were other times you never listened to me.”
“Like?” she asked, leaning across the counter that he wasn’t gutting a fish on.
“When I told you that you were off limits because I was your brother’s commander.”
Heat bloomed in her cheeks, as she remembered begging Jack to fuck her that night in the bar. “My brother was not my keeper.”
“If things didn’t work out and I broke your heart? Dane would’ve taken me to task.” A funny expression crossed his face and he turned back to cleaning the fish.
You did break my heart though. And Dane is dead and can’t protect me.
Only she didn’t say that out loud.
“I know,” she said, breaking the tension that had settled between them. “But I was an adult. I knew what I was doing.”
“That’s for sure.” And a smile quirked his lips. She punched him in the arm.
“So tell me another time I didn’t listen.”
“The gun,” he said, a smile playing on his lips as he worked.
“We’ve covered that. Besides the gun.”
“You came into my hospital room even though I told you not to.” His eyes pierced her right to her very soul, making her heart skip a beat.
“You knew I came into the room?” she asked.
Jack nodded and then, finished with the fish, cleaned up his mess. That uneasy tension descended between them again. She thought he’d been asleep when she’d gone into his ICU room, even though he’d asked her not to come.
It was the first time she disobeyed actual official orders and she hadn’t been caught. Or at least she thought she hadn’t been. Jack obviously saw her.
The question was, did he hear her as well? If he did, he would know what she said to him, even if it were only a whisper.
That she loved him. That she was there for him and she didn’t care that the Chem Agent 1157 had done damage to him. She loved him and needed him.
“I’m going to toss this in the lake,” he said, breaking her chain of thoughts. He picked up the remnants of the fish he’d just filleted and placed them in a metal bucket, before washing his hands.
“Okay,” she said quietly.
“I’ll be back.” And he left, not even reminding her about the gun, and that was fine.
Lisa had poured her heart out to him and he’d left. For ten years he’d been gone but now, being back with him, it felt like the years hadn’t separated them.
The door opened and he walked in, but before he had a chance to say anything she grabbed him by the front of his flannel shirt and pulled him into the kiss she’d waited ten years to give him.
“Lisa,” he groaned, his voice husky as he broke off the kiss and held her by the shoulders. “We shouldn’t.”
“Tell me you don’t want me,” she said, although she knew that he did. Then she froze. “There’s someone else?”
Tears stung her eyes and he cupped her face, gently stroking her cheek with his thumb. Then he bent down and kissed her. A kiss that seared her soul, and any thoughts that they shouldn’t melted away.
His kiss deepened, from gentle to urgent, as his fingers tangled in her hair. Her body responded to his touch, to his body pressed against hers. Knowing that he wanted her as much as she wanted him.
That even a decade apart hadn’t cooled the heat that existed between them.
When it came to heat though, that was never the problem in the past. And all she wanted right now was him and her together. Nothing else between them. Just sex.
That’s all she needed, because she knew she would probably not get anything more from him. Jack had made that clear to her in the past.
“I can’t promise you anything, Lisa,” Jack whispered against her ear.
“I know,” she said. “And I can’t either. My fate is uncertain.”
Jack nodded. “Are you sure?”
She touched his face, running her fingers over the scars, and he flinched slightly under her touch. “I’m sure. Just one more time, Jack. One more time to remember you by.”
Jack kissed her again and she melted into him.
There was no stopping this moment, which had been ten years in the making. Jack scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bed where she’d spent last night curled up against him, reveling in the intimacy she’d forgotten about and missed.
It was silly that he picked her up to carry her across the cabin, but this wasn’t the time to speak.
It was the time to feel. And she desperately wanted to feel something again.
Just from his kisses she came to the quick realization that she had just been existing. She hadn’t realized how numb she’d been to life.
They made quick work of their clothes so nothing was between them. The only sound was their breathing, quick and heavy, both of them needing this moment. When his hands ran over her skin, over her body, she trembled at the familiarity. How it made her feel safe.
Lisa reached out and touched him, to run her hands over the scars that marred the flesh on the entire left side of his body. He gripped her wrist, holding it fast.
“Don’t,” he bit out.
“I don’t care about the scars,” she said, but she could tell by the firm set of his mouth he didn’t believe her. Yet, he didn’t say anything further, just pushed her down on the bed and, covering her body with his, silenced all talk about him and his scars with his lips.
Pleasure coursed through her when Jack’s hand moved between her legs, touching her.
“Oh God,” she murmured, as his tongue burned a fiery path to her nipple.
She arched as he touched her, and then his mouth trailed down her body.
“I want to taste you,” he murmured, as he pressed a kiss against her thigh.
“Oh God,” she moaned, remembering with crystal clarity the heady pleasure his tongue against her clit brought her. And she wanted it badly. She craved it. She ran her fingers through his hair. His strong arms locked around her thighs, holding her in place, and she trembled in anticipation.
He grinned at her. “Do you want me to taste you?”
It was a tease.
“Yes,” she whispered.
“How much?”
“Don’t make me beg, Crane!”
“I like to make you beg.”
“Crane,” she growled, gripping the quilt under her hand in frustration, and the bastard chuckled. Before she could scold him for teasing her further, his tongue parted her labia, licking her, making her cry out at the simple, skilled flick against her sensitive flesh.
By then she was lost, as she gave into the sensation of it all. The loss of control was a rush.
She’d been in control for so long.
It was fantastic to let go.
His mouth moved away from her.
“Do you want me inside you?” His blue eyes darkened with lust.
“You know I do,” she whispered, arching her hips up. “Take me.”
Jack didn’t need any further prompting, and they were long past teasing. He slid his cock into her. Lisa cried out as he took her, holding onto his back, digging her nails into his skin as he moaned into her ear.
“You feel so damn good,” he said huskily, sliding in and out of her. “So good, so tight.”
“Faster,” she urged, moving her hips. She wanted him to fuck her, to possess her. To give her something to remember for the rest of her life. Jack moaned and slid a strong hand under her ass, lifting her leg up and angling her hips to meet his thrusts, allowing him to go deeper and hit all the right spots.
Lisa closed her eyes, her body succumbing to the sensations of being completely and solely possessed by the only man she ever loved. The man who destroyed her heart when he turned her away from his bedside and disappeared.
The man she had to leave behind, breaking her heart again.
She came, tightening around him, squeezing his hard cock. She wrapped her legs around him as he came moments later. She buried her face in his neck, squeezing her eyes shut tight to stop the tears that stung them from falling. She clung to him, holding him close for one last time, because there was no future for them.
And when she was rescued Lisa Morgan would die, and with her any chance of them being together.
Any dream that she held onto about them one day being together would be wiped away. Lisa Morgan would die.
And so would any chance at love.
Chapter Six
I shouldn’t have let that happen.
Jack had promised himself he wouldn’t let his desire for Lisa take over his senses. They couldn’t be together. Especially now, when she’d have to go into hiding. For one instant he’d forgotten all the reasons why they couldn’t be together, why he left her after Dane died and when he was wounded.
He wanted to block all those memories. He worked so hard to try and forget.
Those reasons seemed superficial when he took her into his arms.
When he tasted her lips again. When he lost himself while buried deep inside her.
It was after, with her curled up beside him, her breath on his neck, that the harsh reality sank in. They couldn’t be together.
And he wasn’t even sure she wanted him beyond this one moment.
Lisa said she didn’t need promises of a future, because she knew, like he did, there was no future.
“I better cook the fish.” He reluctantly untangled himself from her limbs. “I’m starving.”
“Yeah, me too.” She grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around herself. “I’m going to have a quick shower.”
Jack nodded as he pulled on his jeans and undershirt, but didn’t look at her. He knew that if he looked at her he’d be tempted again. That’s the way it had always been with Lisa and it was clear, even though the years had separated them, that it was always going to be this way.
And he couldn’t let this drag out.
There had to be a clean break when the Navy came to get her.
“I’m going to get the fish in the oven.”
She nodded and closed the door to the bathroom, while he got the fish on. He was trying to ignore the fact that she was in his tiny shower, naked and wet.
Don’t think like that.
Jack began to pace while their food was cooking. He had to put some distance between him and Lisa or he was liable to barge in there and take her in the shower. His cock hardened with the memory of what had just happened.
He pulled open the door and ran down the path toward the lake. Even though it was summer the lake was still frigid; it was perfect. Jack pulled off his clothes and jumped off the dock, straight into the water, sinking down into the depths of Lake Minichumina.
And, as he looked up to the surface, watching the sunlight dance off the water, he just relaxed, floating there somewhere between darkness and light,
between cold and warmth.
“What’re you doing, Crane. Live! Leave me behind!”
Dane’s voice in his head shook sense into him and he surfaced. He climbed out of the water and picked up his clothes, darting back up to the cabin where it was warm. Lisa was still in the shower.
Jack dried himself and pulled back on his clothes, then checked on their meal.
The door opened and she came out.
“That smells good,” she said, and then she cocked her head to the side. “Your hair is wet and you’re shivering.”
“I jumped in the lake,” he said offhandedly, as he brought the pan of cooked fish into the kitchen and set it down on the counter on a wood block so it could cool.
“Wasn’t that cold?” she asked.
“A bit.”
“Why did you do that?” she asked, as she stood on the other side of the counter, leaning dangerously close to him.
“Because I wanted you again.”
Her mouth dropped open and her pupils dilated, then her spine stiffened and she hugged herself.
“Oh.”
“Not what you wanted to hear?” he asked.
“That isn’t it,” she said. “It was something I wasn’t expecting to hear, to be honest.”
“Why is that?”
“I didn’t think you wanted me, not really.”
Jack snorted. “We just had sex, how could you think that I didn’t want you?”
“Lust is different than wanting.” She sighed. “You pushed me away in the hospital, Jack.”
Guilt clenched his stomach, twisting it hard. He wanted to tell her that he didn’t want to push her away, but it was for the best. He didn’t want to saddle her with a deformed, scarred, half-man. He didn’t want to hold her back, have her resent him.
“We’ve been over this,” he said.
“No, I don’t think so.” Lisa crossed her arms. “It killed me when you pushed me away. I had no one, Jack. I didn’t have parents. Dane was the only family I had. When I learned that he died and that you lived, at least I still had you. I loved you.”
He spun around and could see the unshed tears in her eyes. “You deserved more than I could offer, Lisa. So I made the decision to leave.”
“That was my decision to make as well.”