‘I can see you just now.’ I smiled, kissed her gently and nuzzled down into her breasts. ‘I hope you are staying the night?’
‘If you want me to?’
‘Yes please.’
We made love again, slower this time, and then we both slipped into an exhausted sleep. I got up during the night to pee and noticed rain was slanting in through the open door. I closed it and shivered, then pulled the duvet over Molly. I gazed down at her sleeping form which was turned slightly away from me. She was so lovely, and so vulnerable and I suddenly realized my feelings were stronger for her than I had imagined. I wasn’t sure why I felt like that. Maybe I’d always felt that way but somehow had buried them somewhere whilst I was with Lindsay and Molly was with Jamie. Had Lindsay lived, I would probably never have allowed any feelings for Molly to emerge. The human psyche was a very weird place.
I wasn’t in love with Molly. I couldn’t be yet. I wanted to protect her from more hurt, the kind of pain that Jamie had inflicted upon her over the years. And yet I was conscious that the way things were going, I may end up treating her worse than Jamie had.
What I should have done was phone Amanda and cancel the date we had planned. I didn’t though. I didn’t want to. I wanted to see her again to find out how I felt about her. Maybe if I could spend some time with Molly the following week, before my date with Amanda, I might change my mind.
I slipped back into bed and spooned in behind Mollie’s naked back. She sighed softly and continued sleeping as I draped my arm over her and closed my eyes.
In the morning, breakfast was leisurely and sensual: heated croissants, orange juice and coffee, eaten in bed between lingering kisses and love-making.
Later we showered together and finally got dressed. Molly was meeting her mum for lunch and soon Pauline would be back with Amy.
Molly tried her best to remove the creases from her lovely red dress, but it still looked a little crushed when she was finally ready to leave.
I offered to drive her home but she insisted on getting a taxi, so I ordered one for her. It soon arrived and we had one last lingering kiss at the lift before she left. I went back into my apartment and closed the door. Both the penthouse and I felt empty. I didn’t have time to linger on my thoughts however, as only a moment later there was a knock on the door. Initially I thought Molly must have forgotten something and I rushed over hoping for another kiss. I opened it and was met with the excited face of my daughter, held aloft by my mother-in-law.
I took Amy into my arms and she gave me her supermodel kiss.
Pauline smiled knowingly at me. ‘Was that Molly Jenkins I saw getting into a taxi downstairs?’ I nodded sheepishly. ‘The same Molly Jenkins who has recently broken up with your best friend?’ I repeated the gesture. Pauline sighed and shook her head. ‘You are playing with fire there, are you not?’
I nodded for the third time.
‘Well, it’s your life.’
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Most of the following week was guilt-ridden. I talked with Molly on the phone and I talked with Amanda on the phone. I even managed to avoid mixing them up. The guilt I felt about everything did not help me make a decision which I was clearly very bad at doing. I had tried to meet up with Molly again during the week, but she’d cried off saying she wanted some time and space to think things over. She told me that she did want to see me again, but wanted to get Jamie out of her life before that happened.
On the Thursday evening she’d phoned and explained how she was feeling. I could tell from her voice she’d been crying.
‘Jamie was here this evening picking up more of his stuff. He’s not making it easy on me and you’ve obviously not told him about us yet.’
I had not been able to bring myself to do it – it was unfair I know – but it was all tied in with my indecisiveness. I was being unreasonably selfish and would no doubt come to regret it later.
‘I know, I’m sorry, Molly, I just haven’t found the right time.’
‘Well you’ll need to find the right time soon, I’d hate him to find out any other way.’
‘Can’t you put an announcement on Facebook or something?’ I suggested flippantly.
‘I bloody well will do that if you don’t tell him.’ Molly sighed. ‘Look Andy, I don’t really care, he’s going to be out of my life soon anyway – hopefully by the weekend when he picks up the last of his stuff and gives me the flat keys – but if you want to retain some kind of friendship with him, you’d better tell him about us.’
I changed the subject. ‘What’s happening with the flat and things?’
‘He’s seeing the lawyer tomorrow – one that I’m paying for, of course – to sign everything over to me. It feels like all I’m gaining is heartache and a load of debt, but I suppose it will be my debt.’
‘Well at least it allows you to move on.’
I could hear raw emotion in Molly’s voice. ‘Yeah, I suppose. I could really do with a hug right now.’
‘I wish I could come over, Molly, but Amy is sleeping, why don’t you come here?’
‘Tempting, but no I still want to wait a few days. After tomorrow things will feel clearer for me I reckon.’
‘Do you want to meet up tomorrow?’
‘No, I promised my mum we’d go to the cinema tomorrow and Saturday I’ve got to take her to my gran’s in Aberdeen.’
‘Sunday evening then?’
‘Meeting up on a school night, Mr Hunter? That’s brave.’
I laughed. ‘It’s not a school night for me anymore – no job, remember?’
‘Oh yes, I almost forgot about that – OK let’s go for Sunday evening – I will still need a hug.’
‘I’m sure I can manage that.’
After she’d hung up I was glad she had not suggested Saturday as that was the night Amanda was coming to my flat for dinner. I had yet to decide what to cook but something simple, like spaghetti bolognaise, that even I couldn’t balls up was probably a good idea.
I had changed into my PJs and was contemplating one more cup of Earl Grey before bed when my phone pinged. I read the text and knew that I wouldn’t be going to sleep anytime soon.
Hi gorgeous. Your dutiful wife Lindsay here. Just typed u another email – so read it when u get a moment – as it’s < 10 at night where u are Amy should be sleeping and u will be thinking about going 2 bed – ur so predictable! Do u still love Earl Grey? J
PS if u have proved me wrong and are right now sweating between the sheets with a hot bitch I don’t want 2 know! Sometimes ignorance is bliss. Linz xxxx
I logged on to the iPad and wondered what she had in store for me this time. I noted whilst logging on that I was not looking forward to reading her emails as much as I used to. This was probably because they complicated my life, but then had that not been her intention all along?
Love Byte 5 – 5th November
My gorgeous husband
What a wonderful night we had! Fireworks, drinks and sex – what more can you ask for? Well I’d maybe liked to have eaten something but never mind you can’t have everything and I don’t want to get fat do I?? LOL
You and Amy are both sleeping soundly and I’m in the kitchen drinking your Earl Grey tea and typing (obviously!). I keep waiting for you to get up one of these nights and ask me what I’m up to – but it’s not happened yet.
I feel pretty good tonight. I’m still glowing from our lovemaking which we need to do more of (as long as I’m up for it – or you are able to get up for it – I know I’m not a pretty sight these days).
OK down to business. As Stan Laurel said to Oliver Hardy after he’d burned his house down, ‘I don’t think there is much more I can do for you here’. I’ve played all my cards and you are in the hands of the gods.
I do hope that you and Molly get together. I know she looks very like me and that might feel
a bit weird but she has a completely different personality. (Also her skin is much nicer than mine – that always annoyed me – maybe you can tell her that one day.)
If you have already found someone via Love Bitz then that’s great too. If neither of these options has worked then hopefully – if nothing else comes out of this – you will have stopped moping around thinking about me as much.
I wish I could scoot forward in time just for an hour or two to see what has happened – that would be so much fun and would set my mind at rest.
OK I’m away for now, I’m going back to our warm bed to spoon into your back. Hopefully I’ll still be horny in the morning and we can have another shag – bliss!
PS I wonder how many more times we will make love before I die – hey that’s a good title for a song –‘making love before I die’ – the sort of thing Girls Aloud would do – I wonder if they’re still together.
Your gorgeous wife
Lindsay
Xxxxxxxx
I logged off sadly. Poor Lindsay. That was the last time we made love. I remembered looking at her in the morning after I’d woken up and thinking how peaceful and contented she looked. That’s why I had tiptoed through to the bathroom to shower and get ready for work. I think I had even left the house before she woke up. If I’d known she wanted to make love again I would have stayed in bed with her, or at least woken her up.
We didn’t know at the time but that was her last week at home, and from then on the pain got worse and the drugs stronger. I went to bed with a heavy heart and shed a few more tears for my poor dead wife. Perhaps they were for myself and Amy – it was hard to tell at times.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
I had finalized details with Amanda for Saturday and Amy was spending the night at her gran’s again. Pauline thought I had Molly coming over for dinner and I hadn’t dissuaded her from that assumption. I didn’t want to explain anything to her at that point. I’m not sure I could have anyway.
I had showered and changed into an old pair of jeans and put on a clean shirt. I was careful with the aftershave and rubbed a small amount of gel into my hair to muss it up a bit.
Having previously visited Morrisons for supplies, I started dinner. I soon had the chopped onions and mushrooms simmering with the meat and garlic in a large pan on the range cooker. The apartment filled with the aroma of garlic and oregano, and I had just set the pot of water to boil the pasta when the buzzer sounded. I glanced up at the clock: right on time.
Amanda breezed into the apartment and planted a kiss on my lips while simultaneously handing me a bottle of Chianti. She filled me in on her week as she watched me put pasta into boiling water. I loved her soft Irish accent and could have listened to her all day. (I really needed to get beyond that.)
Amanda worked as an events coordinator for a Scottish brewery and spent much of her time rushing around the country organizing sponsored events and promotions. The previous two weeks she had been in London overseeing her employer’s huge stand for an exhibition at Earls Court. It sounded glamorous and cool but as she also pointed out, it was hard work, especially this last week when she had been part of the exhibiting team which meant smiling all day and fending off semi-drunk businessmen who decided that all the brewery girls were fair game for a grope.
Amanda plonked herself down on the couch with a glass of the Chianti and picked up a framed photograph from the coffee table.
‘I take it this is Lindsay and Amy?’
Amanda was studying the family portrait we’d had done just after Lindsay’s cancer diagnosis. I sat down beside her and Amanda handed the photograph to me.
‘Yeah, Lindsay wanted a family photo done before she got too sick. I think that was the last time she ever posed for a photo of any kind.’
Amanda put her hand on my arm. ‘She was very beautiful. You must miss her?’
I didn’t think the question was a rhetorical one so I smiled sadly and just put the photo back down on the coffee table. I then walked over to the cooker and turned down the gas under the pot of pasta which was threatening to boil over.
The room was filled with steam so I opened one of the doors that opened onto the decked balcony. Amanda wandered outside with her wine. I made sure neither the pasta nor the sauce were likely to burn and joined her.
We both leaned on the wooden rail and gazed out over the coastline. The breeze was heavy with the salty tang of the sea, and the air was filled with the cries of gulls and the crashing of the waves on the rocks below. The sun was setting in the west, but was obscured by dark clouds that threatened rain later.
‘It’s pretty spectacular living here; I don’t think I’d ever want to leave,’ Amanda said wistfully.
I took a sip of wine. ‘I only rent the place, so I don’t really think of it as mine.’
‘You could buy it. Would the owner not sell?’
I shook my head. ‘I wouldn’t want to buy it. Half the apartments are empty and there is some talk about the council taking over some of the flats to rent out to over-spill tenants.’
‘What are over-spill tenants?’
The breeze was getting stronger and, being late September, it was cooler now the sun had gone. I noticed Amanda shivering, so I ushered her inside and closed the door before I answered her.
‘I’m not one hundred per cent sure. I went to a recent residents’ meeting, and a number of the owners and tenants think it will be the problem families from some of the poorer estates around Edinburgh who get shipped in.’
Amanda looked puzzled. ‘You mean they’d move some of their worst cases into a luxurious place like this?’
I smiled. ‘Maybe. I suppose if you work for the council it makes some kind of sense as they can pick the flats up pretty cheaply, and in an apartment like mine you could accommodate a family of five or six quite easily.’
I noticed Amanda putting two and two together. ‘So you will be leaving before that happens.’
‘Yeah,’ I said, sitting down beside her on the couch. ‘It isn’t likely to happen until the middle of next year and I was planning on being gone by then anyway. I’m not a snob, but I reckon the reason this place is so peaceful is because most of the flats around me in this block are empty. Regardless of who would be moving in it would become a lot more crowded and noisy, but I imagine the type of families we are talking about here are likely to bring a lot of baggage with them.’
Amanda smiled. ‘Emotional baggage?’
‘Yeah, and physical baggage. Bikes, dogs, cats, budgies, snakes, lizards, tarantulas, God knows what else. Whilst I like animals, these flats aren’t really designed for them. I also feel sorry for the residents who have bought a place here as suddenly they are likely to find the lifts full of feral children and their friends.’
I stood up and walked over to the kitchen area. ‘Dinner is served, m’lady.’
Amanda smiled and sat herself down at the table.
The food was good (even if I do say so myself) and as the wine kicked in, I found myself relaxing. Amanda was good company and had a wicked sense of humour. I couldn’t help comparing her to Molly. Amanda was more widely travelled than Molly and her cultural background was completely different. She talked about her time growing up in Ireland. Her father was coming to stay with her for a few days the following week, as he hadn’t been to see her in Edinburgh since he helped her move all her stuff over when she bought the flat. After that he was on his way to the USA for business.
‘I eventually introduce all my long term boyfriends to my dad. He’s a good judge of character,’ she explained. ‘My mum’s OK, but she’s a bit of an air-head. That sounds unkind, as she’s got a degree in Art History or something, but she made the decision early on to become a baby machine. My dad’s always busy. He sells machine tools to the gas and oil industry, so he’s away a lot – especially now the economy is in the toilet. He travels to the US a
nd the Middle East nearly every month. He had to do an international relations course recently. Did you know that in Qatar, if you shake someone’s hand for more than twelve seconds you have to give them a fish?’
I didn’t know that. I must remember to take a fish with me if I ever go to Qatar. ‘They are hosting the football World Cup soon: how many English fans will take fish with them?’ I wondered aloud.
Amanda punched my arm playfully and told me more about her clan. Most of her family still lived in their home town Gorey in County Wexford. I’d never heard of it, but it was south of Dublin and was full of tourists during the summer. No wonder she felt so at home in Edinburgh then.
Amanda also revealed she was dyslexic. Thankfully, this had been diagnosed early on in primary school and she’d been taught ways to cope with the condition using phonics and coloured overlays. Her particular type of dyslexia was helped by this.
One of the things I’d always wondered about dyslexia is why they need to use such a complicated word to describe the condition. Once, at Perennial Mutual, I had to complete an assessment for a placement student who was dyslexic, and had eleven attempts at spelling ‘dyslexic’ before resorting to spell check and even then it didn’t look right.
Amanda managed to cope with the condition most of the time and explained that it was only when she was under stress that she had problems. She was also slightly colour blind which she had been told was quite common with dyslexic people. She had issues with green and red and often mixed them up.
One thing I did notice about Amanda during our dinner was that she was much more opinionated than Molly, though I wasn’t sure that was a good thing. She was also much more outgoing and gregarious than Molly. As the evening drew on and we drank more wine, our conversation became more intimate. Amanda knew I found her attractive, I couldn’t hide that in the way I looked at her – and the fact that when we sat close together on the couch the bulge in my jeans was obvious.
Love Byte Page 17