Chapter 23
The brush of a thumb over my nipple rouses me. I try to pretend I’m still asleep, but when he gives my nipple a little tug I can’t stop the gasp that slips from my lips.
“Good morning, beautiful.”
I open my eyes to find him staring at me. His hair is all rumpled from sleep, and a cheeky grin lights up his face.
“Morning.”
His hand moves to my other breast, giving it the same treatment before his lips replace his hands. The soft wet heat of his mouth is exquisite and I arch my back trying to get closer to him.
“I love the way you wake me up.”
Howard stops his ministrations and smiles. “I love being able to wake you up.”
Every day since Christmas it’s been like this, the pleasure of his hands or mouth waking me from slumber. We fool around until we are both satisfied, then get up and start our day.
His lips return to my skin, and he starts kissing his way towards my navel. He’s almost to my mound when the lights go out.
Oh, no. Not now.
Yesterday, the settlement lost power for four hours after government technicians discovered where we were siphoning electricity from and shut off the supply. It wasn’t a huge deal because it was just a matter of flicking a switch to use a different source. But Howard had to hike out to the switch, and right now I want him to finish what he is doing.
Thankfully, the lights flicker back on and stay that way.
Howard kisses his way down my body until he gets to my vagina, parting my lips and sliding his tongue inside.
“Oh my, oh, so good.” I never expected anything to feel better than making love to Howard until he introduced me to the joys of oral sex.
The slide of his silky smooth tongue over my clitoris sends sparks of ecstasy coursing through me, and my hips buck into him. He alternates between flicking his tongue and sucking. Each is equally enjoyable and sends me hurtling towards my climax.
As fun as it is reaching my peak with his tongue on me, this morning I want to feel him inside me. I tug his hair progressively harder until he lifts his head.
“What?” he asks, sounding like a grumpy kid who had his toy taken away.
“I want you inside me.”
“Oh, well, why didn’t you say?” He rolls his eyes then winks.
I give him a little tap on the shoulder. “Cheeky bugger.”
“I’ll give you cheeky.” He lines himself up with my entrance and drives home.
“Oh my. Yes!”
The sensation of him filling me is one I don’t think I’ll ever get used to. Fortunately, it’s an awesome feeling. He lowers himself down until we are skin to skin, and I put my arms around his neck, drawing his lips to mine.
“I love you,” I say right before I kiss him.
He moves away from our kiss too quickly, but he pulls out and then thrusts into me. I don’t care if he’s still kissing me or not because I’m having trouble breathing.
I’m so close to the edge that it doesn’t take much to send me flying. My body shakes with the intensity of the ecstasy coursing through me as Howard slides one hand between us, pressing down. I close my eyes and explode into a sea of blissful satisfaction. When I open my eyes again, Howard is staring at me.
“I love you,” he says, followed quickly by a moan. His hips still and his body shudders as he, too, reaches his climax.
Spent, he collapses on the bed beside me.
I roll over and cuddle into his side. Right in front of me is his newest scar. I run my fingers over it, still puckered and pink, and not quite healed. I sigh, thankful that today is New Year’s Eve. All preparations have been put on hold in favour of celebrations. This will be my first New Year’s celebration since I was a kid, and I am looking forward to it very, very much.
Unlike Christmas, which was very much a family affair, this will be a community event. Everyone has spent the day setting up for the party this evening.
I just can’t get over the fact that I will be going to a real party tonight. It is one of those things I missed out on while I was at MITI. There were never any parties—not for birthdays or anything.
After a quick bath and some breakfast, Howard and I make our way to the marquee where the party will be held. Preparations are in full swing. The men are cleaning and setting up while the women are off in a side area preparing food.
I move to join the women, but Howard’s hand around my waist stops me. “Where are you going?”
“To help with the food.”
“Not without my goodbye kiss first.”
He winks, and I can’t help but give him what he wants.
I tilt my head up, and he doesn’t hesitate in taking advantage of my offer. Before we realise what we are doing, we’re all but defiling one another in public. A couple of catcalls and wolf whistles from the tent alert us to the inappropriate nature of our display and we reluctantly pull apart.
“I have plans for you tonight,” he murmurs, his voice a near growl. “So you should probably head home as soon as you finish up here.”
“Oh, is that right?” I reply in mock defiance. “And what if I don’t want to?”
He leans in and whispers in my ear. “Oh, you’ll want to.” He grips my hips and pulls them tight against his, the hard length of his arousal obvious. Suddenly the idea of spending half a day preparing food isn’t so appealing.
***
I’m in the middle of a particularly sensual dream when I am woken by my love.
“What time is it?” I ask, still half asleep.
“A few minutes after six. We have just under an hour before we have to leave.”
I sit bolt upright in bed, now definitely awake. “That’s not long enough to get ready for my first party.”
Howard chuckles. “It’s a very casual affair. I’m pretty sure you could go in your pyjamas and no one would notice.”
“I certainly will not.” I hop out of bed, grab the outfit I organised earlier, and head for the washhouse, sticking out my tongue at him like a petulant child.
“You’ll pay for that,” he yells after me.
I just giggle and keep going.
Just after seven, I reappear, dressed and ready to go. I probably could have been ready sooner but the long soak in the tub was too good to give up quickly.
“Gorgeous,” Howard says as I walk towards him.
I do a little pirouette so he gets the full effect of the outfit. I’m wearing skin-tight black pants with a long-sleeve green shirt, but the rear has a V that is open all the way to my lower back. I pull my hair, which is down for a change, out of the way so he can see.
“Definitely worth the wait.”
He pulls me in for one of his panty-dropping kisses, and I seriously consider telling him not to worry about the party. I don’t, though, because deep down I’m looking forward to it—and what I want to do with Howard might be in the cards for later anyway.
When we arrive, we go in search of Margie and our parents. But things are slow going with nearly everyone in the crowd stopping us to say hello to Howard. Finally, we find our parents sitting together on the far side of the enormous spit on which the evening’s meal is cooking.
“Finally,” Mum exclaims when she catches sight of us. “We thought you’d gotten lost.”
“No, not lost,” I grumble. “More like waylaid by every person we passed.”
Rhonda chuckles at my statement. “He is a little popular, isn’t he?”
“You can say that ag—”
Howard cuts me off and says, “I only have eyes for you.”
I swoon—there is no other word for it. He always seems to know exactly what to say and when to say it to make me putty in his hands.
“Have you had anything to eat?” Mum asks.
I shake my head.
“Well, I suggest you start there because the pig on the spit is delicious.”
I give Howard a questioning glance and he nods.
After we each devour a p
late of the yummy food, we mingle with Mark and Estell, as well as Margie, Grant, Toby, and Ben. I even have a little cuddle with baby Bethanie while we talk to Mark and Estell. At some stage, a couple of guys put together a makeshift band and start playing music.
“Would you like to dance?” Howard asks.
I hesitate for a second. I’ve never danced before, and I’m worried I’ll be no good. The persistent beat of the music is contagious, though, so I tell him, “Yes, I would love to.”
The rest of the evening is a whirlwind of dancing and mingling, and before I know it, someone announces it is almost midnight.
Howard drags me out to the dance floor again, pulling me flush against him and guiding me skilfully in yet another dance I don’t know. The warmth of his body against mine and the confidence in which he swings us around to the music is intoxicating; it has me giddy with excitement.
The song stops halfway through and everyone starts counting down the seconds to midnight and the new year.
“Ten . . .”
I can barely concentrate on what is going on. Howard has me mesmerised with his stare.
“Seven . . .”
It conveys everything I need to know—that he loves me, desires me, and wants to do obscene things to me.
“Three . . .”
I return his gaze, telling him I feel exactly the same.
“Two . . . one . . .”
As choruses of “Happy New Year” go up around us, he kisses me with an almost frenzied intensity. I open myself to him and let him have whatever it is he needs.
“I love you, Beth. Happy New Year,” he says when we pull apart.
“I love you, too, so much. Happy New Year.”
“Let’s get out of here,” he suggests and the devilish look from earlier returns. I grab his hand and lead him towards the exit. Before we make it, a statuesque blonde with a small boy in her arms steps into our path.
“Hey, Howard,” she says, not even acknowledging me.
Howard is suddenly stock-still, tension emanating off him. “Amelia. What do you want?”
“I thought you might like to see your son before we head back to the city tomorrow.”
His son? I’m hoping I’ve heard her incorrectly.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?”
“Nevin here is Howard’s son.”
“You don’t know that for certain, Amelia. There are ten of us who could be father to him. And he looks nothing like me. Stop trying to stir up trouble.”
I turn to Howard. “But there’s a chance he could be your son?”
“Yeah,” he replies, his tone resigned.
I yank my hand out of his. If I thought it would make me feel better, I’d slap him. “How could you keep this from me?”
“It’s not important—”
“Not important! The fact that you could possibly have a child with another woman is not important? Are you kidding me?” The idea that something as significant as a child could be deemed unimportant reveals a whole side to him I’ve never seen.
Not wanting to have a complete meltdown in front of everyone, I walk out and head for home. When I think I’m far enough away that no one can see me, I break into a run.
Is all his talk about family and love an act?
I’m so lost in my thoughts I don’t even realise someone is behind me until a pair of arms wrap around me. I wriggle and kick, trying to escape, but they only hold me tighter.
“Will you stop, please?”
Howard’s voice breaks through my panic and I still. I don’t turn around, though; I don’t want to look at him.
“Thank you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Nevin. But honestly, he’s been one of the last things on my mind of late.”
“The fact that you possibly have a son is not something you even think about? If that’s the case, you’re not the man I thought you were.”
Howard forcefully turns me around to face him. “Please, listen. I don’t for one second think that boy is my son. He is the result of very poor judgement for a lot of people.”
“I don’t understand what you mean.”
“Do you want the plain facts? Because you’re not going to like what you hear.”
“Yes, please.”
“Nevin was conceived at a party. Amelia wanted to get pregnant, but as a second-generation traditionalist she isn’t a registered citizen, so she couldn’t go the formal route. Instead, as is typical of Amelia, she held a party with a lot of booze and then proceeded to have sex with every man she could.”
“What!” Until recently, the idea of having sex at all was such a foreign concept, but it had never even entered my consciousness that someone would do such an awful thing.
“She didn’t even tell anyone what she was doing, Beth. Not until after the fact. Believe me, I would never have participated if I’d known what she was doing. I was nineteen, young and stupid, and I have no other defence.”
“I—”
“Howard!”
Howard and I spin around at the sound of the loud, insistent voice. A man is running down the centre of the settlement. I recognise him but can’t remember his name.
“What?” Howard yells back.
The guy comes to a stop in front of us, breathing hard. “OSP found the entrance from the catacombs to the cavern.” He looks at his watch. “First party started scouting the tunnels about two hours ago. I left the rest of the guys with instructions to lead them away, but we need to prepare for emergency evac.”
“Shit.” Howard paces, one hand pinching the bridge of his nose. “Grab Grant and Toby and have them put together a group of ten and head back into the tunnels. We need to keep OSP from finding the settlement. As soon as I have everything sorted here I’ll join you.”
Howard turns to me. “Come on, we need to head back to the party.”
I don’t argue.
When we reenter the marquee, Howard puts his fingers to his lips and lets out a loud whistle. Everyone stops what they’re doing and looks at him.
“Sorry to interrupt the celebration, everyone, but we have an emergency situation. OSP has finally found the caverns. We suspected this might happen and have been preparing for the chance it might. A team is going to head out to join the sentries and try to lead them away, but if we can’t, then I need everyone here to be prepared to evacuate. Return to your homes and pack only the essentials. If you can’t carry it, you can’t bring it. Please, try and get some sleep, too, because the hike to the backup hiding place is not an easy one.
“I’ll be heading into the caverns to try and lead the search teams astray, so I will be leaving Bethanie in charge. Any questions or concerns, please direct them to her.” He claps his hands like a starter’s gun and everybody gets moving.
I pull Howard aside. “What on earth are you doing putting me in charge?”
“I need someone I can trust looking after things. Mum will help, but I thought people would feel more comfortable coming to you if they had issues with her.”
I still feel completely out of my depth taking on this task, but I want to do it—if for no other reason than to support him. “Okay. Where do I start?”
“Go home and pack a bag for both of us, just some clothes and other essentials.”
“Anything else?”
“If for some reason I don’t come back, Mark knows where the other settlement is. He can lead you there.” He pulls me into his arms and holds me tight. “I’m sorry,” he whispers into my ear. “I love you.”
Before I can respond, he pecks me on the lips and is gone. I love you, too.
My knees go weak, and I grab on to a chair to stop myself from collapsing to the ground. Not even thirty minutes ago my world was perfect, now it’s in tatters. I have the intense urge to hide somewhere and cry until I run out of tears, but I don’t have that luxury. Time is of the essence, and I need to go home and start packing.
As I walk to the house, the settlement is aflutter. People are moving about everywhere, not a singl
e residence quiet.
“Beth!” I turn to see Toby’s wife striding in my direction.
“How can I help, Wanda?”
“Is it going to be okay?” The fear that contorts her expression is one I’m intimately acquainted with. I want to lie and say yes, it will be fine. But I’m certain that’s not what I’d want to hear if our positions were reversed.
“I don’t know, but everyone is going to do their darnedest to make sure it is.”
She puts her hand on my forearm and nods. “You’ll let me know if you hear anything?”
“Most definitely.”
I’m stopped three more times before I make it home. Each time, it’s someone seeking reassurance that everything is going to be okay. I try my best to sound positive, but I don’t ever tell them everything is going to be okay. I don’t for one second think that is the case, and I’m not about to lie to them.
I finally make it to the Jameses’ and once inside, I collapse against the door. I let the tears I’ve been holding in fall. I want a time machine so I can go back an hour, put on my big girl knickers, and not behave like a naïve little girl. The fact that Howard is out there fighting for our survival and I didn’t even get to tell him I loved him, too, makes me so mad at myself.
“Are you all right?”
I look up to see Rhonda crouched before me. I hadn’t even heard her approach. “No, I’m so stupid. What if he doesn’t come back? What if he dies thinking I didn’t love him?” I’m full-on sobbing now.
Rhonda hugs me tight. “I know for a fact that he does not think that. He knows you love him. He will be back. He has been through worse than this before and survived.”
I know she is trying to comfort me, but it’s not really helping. “Thank you,” I say anyway. “I’m going to go get my packing done.” I stand and brush myself off.
“Okay, dear. If you need anything, give me a hoy.”
What I need is Howard back so I can apologise for thinking the worst of him before I had all the facts. That isn’t going to happen, though. Not in the short term. But the first thing I’ll tell him when I see him again is just how much I love him.
***
After two days of being on tenterhooks, finally the evacuation order has come. “Thank you, Toby.” When I answered the door, he was on the stoop looking dishevelled and exhausted.
Matronly Duties Page 26