by Jaime Marks
It was the only answer she gave, before leaving them to each other and approaching Grifyn. The words she had spoken to Sheyna, however felt like a knife in Marcus’ abdomen. Why did he feel she was revealing so much more in that statement? A sudden realization hit him and his stomach churned as he staggered back. She froze, sensing his thoughts, but she didn’t turn to face him.
“Cymeryn,” He whispered.
“Don’t Marcus, please,” She spoke in hushed tones, “It doesn’t change anything.”
“Then it’s true?” Marcus was aghast. How could he not have known, had she? “Did you know, before?”
She only lowered her head, but remained silent.
“Did he ever….” He hesitated, unsure he should speak the words. “I need a moment alone with my bonded mate.” He spoke the words with authority.
Now she turned to him, that stubborn will of hers in her eyes as they shot daggers at him. “Now, is not the time. For all we know Cymeryn could be behind Kato’s disappearance and on his way back to wait for us.”
She was right of course, but he didn’t know if he could handle the questions within him. “Please, Reyana, I need you to talk to me, I need to know. I have a right to know.”
“And you will, but not now.” She replied unyielding.
Mythos placed a calming hand on his shoulder. “She is right in this Marcus. You know she is. I fear the answers will only serve to create more turmoil in your heart, my friend, and you know it yourself. Whatever the truth may be, it does not change what you already know. The love you both share is pure. It is true and right. A bond that has transcended even death to bring you both here to this moment, together as one.”
She stared at him with pain in her eyes, “Please.” She whispered.
He went to her, pulling her in his arms, “I’m sorry, love, you’re right. This isn’t the place and it doesn’t change anything. I love you, now and always.” He kissed her chastely, though he wanted to delve into her sweet mouth and remind her of all he felt for her. He reminded himself there would be time, they would make time, just not now. He released her reluctantly and was rewarded with that seductive smile of hers. The one she often used to give him when she knew exactly how inappropriate his thoughts were, and how much she would enjoy letting him explore them.
Her face became serious again as she nodded to him and then turned to Grifyn, “If this is what you want, I won’t try to change your mind. I’m only going to ask you if you’re sure.”
He nodded, “What do I have to do?”
Chapter 20
Star sat on a tree stump watching Byryn as he worked, setting up their camp site. They had found a small clearing and he had come up with some make shift fort made from some of the smaller trees he had broken off as close to the stumps as he could using his feet and upper body strength, some vines he had cut with a pocket knife and some large leaves from some plant he had found. It was braced between two trees and honestly didn’t look that bad. It would at least keep out some rain if it even fell here. Now he was laying down bedding in the form of long grass he had gathered and more of those long leaves.
“Byryn,” He looked up and smiled at her as she watched him. “Where in the world did you learn how to do all this?”
“Well, I used to go on a lot of long trips.” He stopped resting his hands on his hips as he surveyed the shelter before beginning to recheck the bindings. “I didn’t have any money and I had to travel on foot as I didn’t have the ability to manipulate minds and I was too young to drive. After you get soaked a few times you try a few things. Once in a while they work.” He shrugged. “It would be much better if we had some rope and a tarp but it should hold. I don’t think the environment here is prone chaotic shifts in weather like on Earth.”
“Nope. I haven’t even felt more than a light breeze.”
“Can you start gathering the smaller branches and that so I can make us a fire when I’m done with our bed?” He gave her a sly smile and she wondered if she was really ready to be sharing a bed with this guy.
She knew that it didn’t necessarily mean anything was going to happen or even that he expected anything, but every time he touched her she melted. She wanted more of him every time their lips met. She knew they were moving too fast. She knew she should draw some boundaries, but he was the only thing in this crazy situation that was keeping her together. It was like when they touched everything made sense, everything was right. She knew his past. He had seen and done terrible, terrible things that she should fear him for, but he was the only one who really made her feel safe.
The last day had been insane. She felt like she was losing her mind. Every time she thought she was ok, that maybe she could handle this they dropped another bombshell and she was right back into WTF territory. She didn’t understand everything, but after she had been through Byryn’s past she thought she was ok. Then out comes her Mom with Marcus all happy, happy, we’re mated, yeah that’s like marriage and we’re so happy, happy. What the hell was her Mother thinking? She was already married, to Dad. Yeah he was an ass and yeah apparently he was Shade now and she was Fae. Star got the fact that their marriage was likely over anyway you looked at it, but how do you just walk away and less than twenty-four hours later run into another guy’s bed? It really was almost like she had been manipulated. Well, unless she had been cheating on her Father the whole time and that’s why they had been having so many issues in the first place.
“Hey,” Byryn said, snapping her out of her thoughts. “Come on, try this out. See what you think. If it’s not comfortable enough I can add more grass. I don’t want you waking up stiff from sleeping on the wood.”
She walked over and sat down. “It’s not bad, a little stiff but I don’t think more grass is gonna fix it really. It will be good for a couple days. If after today we decide we need something better we’ll just have to find a way to get some blankets.”
“Good, why don’t you lay down and I’ll start a fire. It’s probably getting late for you, even though it doesn’t seem to get any Darker here.”
She nodded, “It’s not really bright either. It kind of reminds me of gloomy days when it’s on the verge of raining but never does. It’s not damp either, though.”
“Well, try to rest. Once I have the fire going good I’ll join you.”
She laid down and watched him as he went to work again. His dark hair hid his eyes and she almost wanted to call him over so she could look into them. He took his jacket off and laid it on the ground beside him as he started piling dry grass and straw onto one end of a flat piece of bark. She watched with curiosity as he untied one of his shoes and pulled out the shoelace.
“What are you gonna do with that?” She asked with a yawn.
“You’ll see,” Byryn smirked as he tied it to both ends of a twig and then twisted another twig in the lace.
It looked kind of like a bow with a stick in the middle, she thought. He placed it into a notch on the bark and took another piece of wood and placed it on top bracing it in place. Pulling the bow back and forth the stick twisted back and forth. After a while Star saw smoke coming from the board and the straw and then she saw him blowing on it. A flame burst forth and he slowly added some smaller twigs and more straw building up the flame to a small fire.
“You’re amazing.” She smiled watching him. “I never would have even thought to do any of that.”
“Well in all honesty, even an unawakened Shade can find uses for the internet.” He grinned sheepishly. “It’s really more of what I use more phone for than anything else; well, used to use it anyway. I guess I don’t have one anymore since I smashed it.”
“Yeah, mine’s useless here so you don’t really need it anyway. Guess there’s no single when you travel through realms.” She tossed it on the platform in front of her.
Byryn began placing the stones he had gathered earlier around the fire. “Well, it’s not like you can tell anyone the truth anyway. No one would believe you, unless they already knew t
hat is.”
“Were there a lot like us in school?” She mused.
“A few. Some wouldn’t be such a surprise to you, others you would never guess.” He shrugged.
“Give me examples?”
“Well,” He paused thoughtfully as he tended the fire, building it up a little more. “You know Louise Thomas?”
“The quiet girl in our study hall? The one who always has her face in a book and acts like she doesn’t hear anyone?” Star sat up and drew her knees into her chest, wrapping her arms around them. “What is she?”
“She’s unawakened Shade, but it’s not very dominant in her.” He grimaced, “I tried to talk to her once but she was so afraid of me that she all but bowed down in submission asking what I wanted from her; as if she was prepared to do anything I asked. I was trying to avoid drawing attention to myself, I didn’t need her falling over herself every time I got close to her. I considered it for a moment, but I figured she had been groomed to be a slave. It’s not really a good idea to piss off someone by playing with their toy before its ready.”
“That’s so cold, Byryn.” She grimaced. “She was a person, just like you, like me.”
“Yes, she was.” Byryn nodded, “But that’s the point Staryana. The Shade are cold. They view people, unawakened and even other Shade as commodities. Toys and tools they can use up and discard. You need to hear these things so you understand.” He stared into the fire. “I don’t like that you know these things about me. I hate that you’ve seen me….that you’ve seen me hurt people; especially like that. I want you to know the reality of it though. I can read you like a book, Brightness.” He turned to her a moment. “I know your Dad still has things twisted in your head and your Mom’s choices haven’t helped you with that. I’m not going to lie to you and sugarcoat things even if I want to because I won’t risk losing you to that life.”
She looked down at her feet, “What if it was what I wanted? What if I wanted to go to my Father and see for myself? Would you go with me?”
Byryn grew silent and turned back to the fire. “You don’t understand what you’re giving up Staryana. You don’t know what you’re giving up of yourself. What they will do to you, to your body…You’re so innocent you don’t get what will be expected of you, the price of your awakening. Awakened female Shade sacrifice their bodies to those who awaken them for eternity. Whatever their sire asks, whatever the desire, they fulfill it. They aren’t told or warned before their awakening. Some have their spirit broken ahead of time, but they are left untouched so that the Shade can feed on their terror as they take pleasure in the girl’s flesh by force.” His eyes winced shut. “I can’t even bare the idea of you enduring that. How could you want such a thing for yourself?”
“What if it was you?” She hesitated as he stared at her in disbelief. “What if I told them I would only come back if I was given to you, awakened by you?”
Byryn was shocked into silence. He knew she couldn’t even imagine what she was asking. She probably was only choosing him because she thought he would keep her safe but in order to awaken her he would have to be awakened Shade himself. He could try to tell himself anything he wanted to, but he knew he would take her, without mercy, without hesitation if he were Shade. The Darker part of him, the Shade in him wanted that more than anything. It was a need in him, to bury himself deep in her core as his essence filled her veins, to revel in her as he took her too new depths of….. He shook himself. He wouldn’t go there, he couldn’t. He could never hurt her, he couldn’t bear it.
“You don’t mean that.” He stammered. “I’d have to be Shade, Staryana. You want me because you think I wouldn’t hurt you, that I wouldn’t take you, but I would be Shade.”
“I know you would take me Byryn, I doubt either of us would be able to resist the pull of it if we shared essence to that extent.” She gave him a small shy smile, “I want you to awaken me because I couldn’t bear the idea of anyone else being with me like that and I don’t want to share essence with anyone else. I only want you.”
Byryn’s heart hammered in his chest. He had wanted her for so long, he still wanted her. It was taking everything he had not to go to her and take her now.
“Unless, you don’t want to, with me,” Staryana looked at her feet again and Byryn realized he hadn’t said anything like the idiot he was.
He got up and went over to her, pulling her onto his lap as he kissed her deeply. His tongue plunged roughly into her mouth, owning her. His hands ran over her body, pushing her hips down against him as he thrust up pressing his erection against her core. He reveled in the soft moan that crested through her. He fought the urge to tear her clothes off of her. He forced himself to break the kiss, his body shaking with desire for her. There had never been anyone he wanted this badly. His voice was ragged as he struggled to catch his breath, “Never, Brightness, never doubt…how much I want you. If you had any idea the things I want to do to you.” He felt her reach out through their connection and he shook his head, “Don’t go there Staryana, we can’t do this.”
She rested her forehead against his, panting. He wanted to make her pant harder. He wanted to hear that soft moan of hers so loud for him that it echoed through the woods, but he wasn’t going to dishonor her like that. He couldn’t cross that line, especially not now when she was so vulnerable. Darkness surged in him as part of him pointed out that this would be the perfect time to take her.
He pulled back suddenly as realization hit him and search her face, “Brightness? Staryana, baby, look at me.” He pleaded as he reached out feeling her essence. She was shifting. The Darkness in her was not yet dominant, but there was a definite shift and it was causing a shift in him.
She looked up meeting his eyes, her lips flushed, her mousy brown hair slightly wild from his hands running through it. She looked enticingly beautiful, but her eyes swirled with Darkness. Her nails dug slightly into the skin on his arms as she licked her bottom lip. He could see the inner struggle she was fighting, but she was giving in and the essence was pulsing in her.
“Brightness?”
“I don’t want to fight it Byryn. I don’t want to think about what’s right and wrong. I just want you.” She leaned forward, kissing him. She rocked gently against him, teasing him as she pulled him closer her nails digging in as they ran up his back, gauging him.
He was struggling with himself. He ached from her and the friction she was creating was taking him to the edge. He tried to pull back, to get some distance so he could think but she held him tighter with her legs that were now wrapped around his waist. He groaned in frustration giving into her, pulling her to him. He took her by the hair pulling her back as his bit and sucked roughly at her neck and she arched into him, moaning at his touch. Their essence slowly began to merge.
It wasn’t right. This wasn’t her. He rolled her onto her back, pinning her arms above her head and her legs under him, but positioned himself above her so they both had some distance.
“I’m sorry, baby, but this is wrong. You’re confused and fighting within yourself and I won’t take advantage of that. I want you, badly, but not like this, not now. When we’re finally together it will be when you are ready and sure…and in control.” She tried to push him off of her. “Sorry, Brightness, I need to take some of that from you but I need control first.” He breathed deeply, trying to balance himself.
“Byryn, I need this, please.” She begged him.
“I know. I’m sorry, baby. I’ll make it better.” He reached into her drawing as much of the Darkness from her as he could manage as he stared into her eyes. The Dark swirls slowly receded and that innocent Light he had become so accustomed to reemerged.
He felt the Darkness seeping through him, burrowing into him. Slowly, he released her, afraid he might lose control and hurt her in some way. He leaned down and kissed her forehead then pulled away leaving the shelter.
“Byryn?” Her voice was scared and confused.
“It’s alright Brightness. I just n
eed a few minutes.” He gritted through his teeth, “You’ll be safe. I promise I won’t go far.”
Byryn left the clearing, walking into the trees. A few feet in he paused and turned to the left slightly. “Stay with her. You don’t need to follow me.”
“I’m here to protect you both,” Ryo replied as he stepped out from behind a tree. “Right now, it appears you need me more.”
“She’s more important, and right now she’s very vulnerable. I don’t know if she can find her way out of here or not, but she’s likely to try at this point.” Byryn, slumped against a tree. “I took all I could, but her Father has to be feeding her, there’s too much.”
Ryo nodded, “I can try to help you, if you allow it. I might be able to balance you with my Light.”
He grimaced in pain. He had felt the Darkness his entire life, he should be able to get it to recede, but it felt like an icy tendril reaching through him choking the life out of it. “I, I don’t know, if it will work now.” He wasn’t sure but he might have just forced his own awakening to trigger. He couldn’t figure out what else this could be.
“You’re reacting like you would if you were infected Fae. Your essence is unstable, there is too much Light in you to fully accept the Dark.” Ryo walked over studying him, “Ideally, the Princess should see you, but I checked in while you were setting up camp and they have gone to the Capitol. I don’t know how long it will be till they return.”
Byryn, doubled over. Ryo caught his arm, steadying him, “You need this Byryn. It is either we get you balanced or one of two things is going to happen. Either you’re going to go into the awakening and I don’t know if I can awaken you; or you’re going to die.”
He could feel the Dark and Light fighting within him. Ryo was right, but the risk was great. “Feeding me….too much….will start….” Pain lashed through him and he couldn’t continue. He met Ryo’s eyes briefly and managed a nod.