“Poor Geoff. I’ve been whining and insufferable. I’m sorry.”
“Mackenzie, I’m kidnapping you, I’m shoving you in the car, and I’m going to call William and have him talk to you. For hours.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. The thought of listening to ten minutes of him praising me is bad enough. The phone rang before that train wreck happened. I spent an hour listening to him being filthy.”
“Darlin’, I’m pretty sure every woman in the kingdom lost a few hours to that clip. It’s so short, but it’s so indecent. A lot of women want to be you right now.”
“But he was just being nice.”
“Mackenzie, he was flirting with you on international television.”
“I think my daughter is right. I’m a stick in the mud. He wasn’t flirting. He was creating a scandal.”
“Well, he certainly got your attention. Here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going to cry. I’m going to take you to the bathroom, and we’re going to escape out the window.”
I sighed over being the ruiner of escape plans. “There are no ground floor bathrooms with windows in this building, and it was designed specifically for that reason. The one bathroom with a window on the ground floor was closed up to be inaccessible after I escaped from it several times.”
“Well, shit. I guess that leaves me with my second plan.”
I poked my head out from beneath the blanket. “What’s your second plan?”
“If you want to find out, you have to run away with me.”
“Only if you read the questionnaire and tell me if he was actually being naughty.”
“That’s not going to help you with your problem, Mackenzie.”
If I had to suffer from His Royal Majesty’s devastating voice, at least I’d have good ammunition against Dylan the next time he dared to show up in my dreams. I bet the thought of another man’s voice driving me crazy would provoke him into the sort of therapy I needed therapy to overcome. At least I’d solve one of my problems.
Dylan with something to prove did a good job of taming the urges I’d ignored since my pregnancy with Mireya.
“I don’t want help with my problem. I want to know if my daughter read filth!”
Jessica sighed and got to her feet. “Fine. Come on, then. I’ll go read the questionnaire and see what sort of crimes he’s committed. Isn’t this supposed to be private information?”
“I was going to use the questionnaire as a foundation for the auction, after modifying some of the questions and removing certain ones regarding the sperm counts of potential stepfathers. I never promised I’d keep his virility a secret. Nothing in my hiring agreement states I can’t tell the world His Royal Majesty of Montana is a baby factory.”
“I can’t believe you sent him a questionnaire demanding his sperm count. That’s terrible.”
I lifted my chin. “He’s selling himself on the man-meat market. He shouldn’t be surprised. History is littered with men who blame their women for their inability to have children. If he’s selling himself to make heirs, having proof he’s a viable contributor to the birth of royal babies is important.”
“I never asked Pat if he had viable sperm!”
“Pat fainted at your feet. Did you even care if you could have children at that point?”
Jessica’s face reddened. “Well, no.”
I rolled off the couch, shook my head to clear it, and was pleased to discover my legs remembered how to work. “Before we find out how much I traumatized my daughter, I need you to confirm that scholarship.”
“She’s all good to go to school. Her expenses are all covered except for one issue, and I’m going to place wagers with you to cover the expenses because they’re more than you can afford, and while Douglass would have no problem with you putting it on your company card, you won’t because you are determined to earn everything you get.”
I sat down. “Okay, hit me with it.”
“Just because you were smart enough to sit down before I told, we’re going to my favorite bakery as part of my joy ride today, and we’re both going to gain ten pounds eating cake.”
“You just want cake,” I accused.
“I want to be a wild child, and I’m taking you with me for the ride.”
“This is going to be a disaster.”
“O’ ye of little faith.”
I glared at her.
“Mireya’s going to need two horses for school. There’s no way you can afford the caliber of horse she needs to compete with the others. Adam has, repeatedly, in various loud tones of voice normal people call shouting, insisted she can ride his horses and if no one likes it, he’ll hit them until they do.”
A laugh bubbled out of me. Jessica was right. I couldn’t afford a horse, period. I didn’t have any idea how much a horse cost, and I was a hundred percent positive I couldn’t afford one. “Poor Adam. Did he really have a tantrum?”
“I haven’t seen him have a meltdown like that since he was five. It was glorious. It was teen angst married to toddler mayhem. He was so angry he was in tears because I put Mireya in the situation where she needed a horse.”
“Wait! I saw nothing about needing a horse in the papers I signed.”
“I know. I abused my queenly powers again, informed the school they would print a version of the agreement without the stabling contract, and that I would be handling that portion of Mireya’s education. The stabling fees aren’t covered by the scholarship, it’s expensive as hell because of the vet bills and feed, and she needs to pay for two stalls. Merry Christmas. So, we’re going to make a bet so your dignity and self-respect are preserved. I’ve been informed if I damage your pride, I will have several angry men out for my neck. I’m too young and pretty to die.”
I grabbed my boss’s blanket and pulled it over my head. “How much are the horses?”
“More than you can afford.”
“Quantify the number.”
“North of a hundred thousand dollars each.”
Yep. That was more than I could afford. “Horses are stupid.”
“To be fair, I wouldn’t be buying the horses she needs. I already have them, and I raised them. I can sell them to you at their base vetting and feed bills plus five hundred. The five hundred is so I can make Pat cry, so that he is well aware two of his best, beloved horses were only worth that much. I look forward to riling him up. If I’m really lucky, he’ll have a tantrum like Adam’s. I’ll have a blast.”
“Do I want to know how much that is?”
“Twenty-two thousand for Alexander the Great and a little under five thousand for Bacon and Eggs.”
My mouth dropped open, and I yanked the blanket off my head. “Did you just say the horse’s name is Bacon and Eggs?”
“She’s three, sweet and spirited, and absolutely perfect for Mireya. I already introduced them, and Pat confirmed Bacon and Eggs is head over heels in love with your little girl. Alexander the Great loves anyone who’ll ride him. Alexander the Great is sixteen, so he’s nearing the end of his prime, but he’s still a damned good horse, and he’ll teach Mireya everything she needs to know. Bacon and Eggs has a lot to learn, but she’ll grow up with Mireya.”
“Is Alexander the Great a stallion?” I didn’t know much about horses, but I’d heard enough times stallions were dangerous.
“He is. He’ll make your daughter good money from the studding fees, but he’s the most laid back stallion I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with. Adam’ll be around to help her learn how to handle him, and if she decides to stud him out, she’ll make a pretty penny for extra expenses. So, you can consider it an investment in her future. If she decides to get really serious, Bacon and Eggs will be an excellent broodmare for her own herd one day.”
“So this is a business investment for her?”
“Yes. That’s a good way of viewing it. Horses can be a very profitable business if you have the right horses. She’ll have the right horses.”
“But aren’t st
allions dangerous?”
“They can be, but as I said, Adam knows his way around horses, and so does the staff at the academies. They won’t have any problems with having a stallion in the stable.”
“If she doesn’t get a horse, she’s going to cry, isn’t she?”
“Waterfalls,” the queen confirmed. “She very badly wants to do well at school, and she’s already figured out she needs a horse. She’s afraid to ask you because you just got her a camera and a laptop. Good choices on both, by the way. She’s ahead of the pack with the camera, and the laptop is standing up to scrutiny, too.”
“Geoff helped me pick them.”
“Good. He’s been treating you well?”
“Geoff needs a raise for putting up with me.”
“I’m sure I can come up with something. So, Mireya needs horses, and I need to preserve your pride. I’m a betting woman, and I have no shame, so let’s place bets.”
“I don’t have anything you could possibly want.”
“Yes, actually, you do.”
I tensed, alarm bells going off in my head. “What do you want?”
“If I win, you have to allow His Royal Majesty, the one with the filthy voice, to take you on dates. The number of dates will be of my choosing.”
“I’m already being forced into the auction. That’s basically the same thing.”
“Ah, but this will be paid out before the auction, and should he woo you, you’ll have to change the nature of the auction a little.” Jessica flashed a maniacal grin at me. “If I marry you off to William, no one will even attempt to contest Mireya’s betrothal to Adam.”
My eyes widened. “You can’t marry me off.”
“I can most certainly try. And I will. You two will be good for each other. Whine and complain about it all you want, but you’re good queen material. You handle the Texan congress beautifully. Montana’s monarchy is far more involved with their congress than we are, so it’s a critically important trait. Mireya’s living proof you’re a good mother. You’re everything he’s ever wanted in a woman, and I’ve been gleefully encouraging his interest in you.” Jessica’s expression took on a wicked edge. “With one phone call, I could have him here for Friday night to show you a good time.”
“Have you lost your mind?”
“Nope.”
“I owe it to Dy—”
“You owe him nothing.”
I flinched.
“You owe yourself a chance for happiness, Mackenzie. If you don’t give anyone a chance, you’ll never know. Good things could happen.”
She was right, but it still hurt admitting it to myself. I was in love with a dream and a memory. I’d been telling myself for months I needed to move on.
Jessica was giving me that chance, if I had the strength to accept what she offered. If I took the chance, maybe something good could happen.
At the very least, His Royal Majesty would wreck me with the powers of his voice alone, and he’d probably make me like it. “He’s probably got some form of personality deficiency,” I muttered as my last line of defense.
“I’m sure he does. We can start with his obsession with you.”
“He told me kidnapping was illegal and he’d been advised his rank wouldn’t let him get away with it.”
“I’m the one who told him that. He was considering invading my kingdom and stealing my auction coordinator. I told him no. You should be thanking me. If you don’t wager with me, I might change my mind, although I’ll demand he return you so you can work.”
“Kidnapping is not what nice people do.”
“I did have to remind him of that. You’re right, he might have a personality deficiency.”
“But you’re trying to make me date him.”
“When was the last time you went on a date?”
If I did have a spark of magic hiding within me, it didn’t manifest and burn the Texan queen to a crisp for daring to bring up my lack of a dating life.
“You haven’t dated anyone since you were swept off your feet in New York.”
Did she really have to be so blunt about it? “You’re a wicked woman, Your Majesty.”
“I know. I’m so wicked and evil. I’m doing my best to try to make two of my favorite people fall hopelessly in love with each other. I’ll accept hopelessly in lust to begin with. Lust can easily turn to love.”
I hated how right she was. For me, that was exactly what had happened, and Dylan had managed to claw his way into my soul. “He can’t compete with a memory.”
Jessica’s smile promised trouble. “Let’s play a little game, Mackenzie.”
“A game? What game? Why?”
“If you can’t let Dylan go, we find him.”
“I’m not having a DNA test done, sealed or not. That’s not fair to Mireya.”
“She wants a father.”
No matter what I said, I dug my own grave. “It’s not fair to him.”
Jessica straightened and canted her head to the side. “What do you mean?”
“He’s always in my dreams. I can’t escape him, Jessica. I don’t really want to, either. If I did, I would’ve gotten therapy years ago. In my dreams, he talks to me like he’s real. He asks questions. He listens.”
“And what has this done to you, Mackenzie? And no, I won’t tell anyone unless you let me, not even Pat. If you really need help, I’ll make sure you get it.”
I fiddled with Douglass’s blanket. “I don’t have anything left to give to someone else. I gave it all to Dylan, and he’s just some figment of my imagination. I’m delusional.”
“All right. And have you tried to break this cycle?”
“That’s the problem, Jessica.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I don’t want to. I never did. As I had from the beginning, I wanted him to stay. I hated myself for what I couldn’t have. I tried hating him for being another part of the system, but I can’t.”
“He treated you like you deserve.”
I laughed, a weak, broken sound. “He wore these horrible, dusty jeans with holes in the to one of New York’s best restaurants for me. He even liked it.”
“Like a man in jeans, do you?”
“I have no idea who he stole them from, but they had fit him like a glove.”
“Maybe he hadn’t stolen them at all, and they were his worn, dusty jeans. Pat owns plenty of jeans like that. I haven’t gotten him to wear them off the ranch yet, though. Bless him, he’s so conscious of his appearances in public. After all these years, he’s still afraid he won’t do me justice. He really should know better.”
“That’s not helping me get over him.”
“I think it’s obvious you’re not going to get over him. If you can’t get over him, hunt him, make him yours, and if he doesn’t cooperate, kick his ass to the curb.”
“I don’t remember what he looks like, what he sounds like, or anything other than Mireya has his hair and eyes and that he’s taller than me. I am terrible at remembering voices and names.”
“Yet you remember William’s.”
“He’s so filthy,” I whispered.
“You say that like it’s a good thing. I just thought you should know.”
I blushed at the realization Dylan had transformed filthy into a positive thing.
“That’s the expression of a woman who has been caught thinking perverted things. I’m also worried I need to carefully evaluate your next man, because that much sexual frustration unleashed will be dangerous for a man without sufficient stamina. We don’t want to hurt the outlet of your frustrations.”
My face burned so hot I pressed my hands to my cheeks to check if I’d caught on fire. “Why are we even talking about this?”
“Because it’s important. I’m all for women exploring their sexuality.”
“Says the mother of a dozen.”
“I don’t have quite a dozen. Nine is not a dozen.”
“Close enough.”
“I can’t have any more childre
n,” Jessica confessed. “I ran out of time. I consider my last brat a miracle. We honestly thought Laurette would be the last, but we had a few extra surprises. I’m getting old. Having reviewed your medical file when you fell down the steps, you still have time. You could have a herd the match of mine if you really wanted. Magic works in mysterious ways, and for someone like you, who loves her daughter more than life itself, you got lucky. When you’re my age, you’ll still be able to have kids if you want them. You have time.”
“I don’t know which is worse, that I have the time to have a herd like yours or that I wouldn’t mind having a herd like yours,” I complained.
“You love children. It’s part of why Mireya is as incredible as she is. You’ve been so determined that she should be able to just be a child that she’s able to, well, be a kid. It’s also part of why Adam’s been driving himself crazy. She enjoys her life, and he wants to protect that.”
“Mireya initially came to me because they were jealous and were being mean to her. Except Adam. He held the door for her, and nothing apparently impresses her more than Adam holding doors open for her.”
“I heard. She incited mass hysteria when she invited them all to your place for dinner. They all called me. All of them. Begging. I had a seven child temper tantrum going on. They had a mass meltdown. That’s why they ended up going to the yacht club. If I hadn’t given them an outlet, I would’ve had to go to the school to calm the brats down. Adam was the biggest threat of the lot, too. I’m so used to the RPS handling such affairs I really hadn’t considered the school would do what they did.”
I grinned at the thought of all seven children having a temper tantrum at the same time. “I can’t even imagine trying to handle seven at once. One of Mireya is a handful.”
“Adam’s gotten a lot of lessons on what it’s like to be a king helping raise his brothers and sisters. Once Deidre made it clear she had no intention of accepting the Texan crown, I started grooming Adam for the job. He’s the better choice, too. Not because Deidre’s a girl,” Jessica clarified.
I wondered how many had criticized Jessica because she’d been born a girl instead of a boy. “Why’s Adam the better choice?”
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