Jessica pushed aside her thoughts of Matt and focused instead on being ready for the big day that January 2nd promised to be.
From the minute Matt Larson left Sweet Spot, Jessica was on his mind, nonstop. If he was honest with himself, she was never far from the forefront of everything. Even after being apart for so long, she looked as beautiful as she had five years ago.
But he was home for another reason, and he knew for a fact that the reason would be very upsetting for Jessica, and he needed to be there for her, as he always had been. As her best friend.
4
Jessica decided to make Matt’s favorite, her lasagna. Or at least it was five years ago. A lot had changed, but hopefully not that.
After a long day at the store, Jessica rushed home, showered, and pulled on a fresh pair of jeans and a white T-shirt, leaving her shoulder-length, wheat-colored hair to fall in large, wavy curls around her shoulders.
At exactly seven pm there was a knock at the door, and she opened it to reveal a grinning Matt, also in jeans, and wearing a soft green shirt, which set off his eyes, holding out a bottle of red wine.
“Hi, there!” Jessica tried to ignore her heart when it kicked up. What the hell is wrong with me?
“Something smells amazing,” Matt said, walking past her and shrugging out of his jacket.
“Lasagna. I hope it’s still your favorite.”
Matt nodded. “It will always be my favorite.” He followed her into the kitchen and said, “Let me uncork this.”
“Third drawer on the left,” she pointed before opening the oven to check on the meal.
“We’ve got a few minutes, and I started a fire in the living room. Shall we grab a glass and sit down?”
Matt began uncorking the wine while something twisted inside him. He hadn’t expected to feel the way he did when he saw Jessica earlier today, and now, here he was, just like on her wedding day, once again the bearer of bad news.
He poured two glasses and walked into the living room, with Jessica following him.
“I like what you’ve done with this place. When I left, it was a bit of a shack.”
Jessica kicked off her shoes and folded her legs under her as she sat on the couch. “I know. William hated that I bought this place, which I think made it even more satisfying for me while I was fixing it up.” Jessica shot a sideways glance to Matt, who was gazing at the fire.
She put a hand on his arm. “Matt, I’m sorry. We don’t need to talk about William.”
Matt took a gulp of his wine. “Actually, Jessica we do.” He set his glass down and hesitated for a moment. “I-I came home...uh, I mean... What I said earlier was true.” He looked away briefly. “I’m on leave, but there’s a reason I need to be here. I want to be the one to tell you.”
Jessica set her glass down too. “Tell me what?”
“My brother got married New Year’s Eve.” He scooted a bit closer and grabbed her hand. “I’m so sorry, Jessica.”
Jessica blinked again and looked at him. Then she surprised both of them by laughing, long and hard.
“Oh…my…gosh,” she giggled, slightly out of breath, “what’s with Wiliam and his holidays?”
Jessica continued to snicker and snort, and glanced at Matt, who knew he had to look confused at the very least.
“Oh, Matt, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me, it’s just—it truly is funny. I mean, not for her.” She stopped herself and waved a hand. “Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean that. I hope they’re happy, I really am.”
“Wait. You’re not upset?” Matt frowned.
Her face lit up, and she squeezed his hand. “Upset? Not at all. I mean, I honestly hope he’s happy.” When he didn’t respond, she continued, “Matt, it’s been five years. I’ve moved on. Seriously.”
“I thought you’d be devastated. I mean we never talked about it in our emails, but…”
Jessica reached for his arm again. “Wait, Matt, you didn’t come all the way home just to tell me this, did you?”
Matt looked away and then back at her. He’d never had a poker face, and some things never changed.
“I didn’t want you to find out from anyone else,” he said quietly, and Jessica could feel her eyes prick with tears. Dear, sweet, devoted Matt, she thought, and flung her arms around his neck.
“Oh, God, Matt, you came home for this?” Jessica buried her face against his neck and took a deep whiff of him. Matt’s arms went around her, too, and she felt it again. She felt her heart flutter and her body warming.
“I was due for a trip anyway,” Matt said, clearly trying to downplay it.
Jessica held on for a few seconds longer than she should have, and when she pulled back, Matt’s hands were still on her. She gazed up at him, and had the oddest sensation.
It was as though she was seeing him for the first time.
“Matt,” she said as she sat back, breaking the spell, “why did you leave? I mean the day after my non-wedding?”
The day of the wedding, was when he realized he loved her, and probably had since they first met. It had almost killed him to see her in so much pain, especially since all he could think to do was hold her and let her cry.
But he also knew he needed to give her space and time to heal, and he needed to distance himself for self-preservation.
The Army and time away had done that for him. He put in a request to be stationed far away, and he was sent to Washington state, and then to Afghanistan. Staying in touch with Jessica via email was easier than seeing her every day, and he had hoped that in time his feelings for her would diminish, and they could go back to being just friends. Because a relationship with his brother’s former fiancé was probably the worst idea—ever.
Matt took another long sip of his wine, and as he did, a buzzer in the kitchen went off.
Saved by the bell.
“The lasagna you made smells fantastic, and I’m starving,” Matt said, hoping Jessica wouldn’t pick up the conversation where she left off. She was busy pulling the tray out of the oven, and he had to force himself to drag his eyes away from her delectable bottom and gorgeous legs.
“I hope you’re hungry,” she said as she set the steaming lasagna on the stove. She opened the refrigerator and grabbed the bowl of salad, two different kinds of dressing, and carried them into her dining room.
“Can I do anything to help?” Matt called behind her.
“Bring the wine. Everything else is ready.”
Matt went back into the living room, where the fire was still roaring. He could see her from there, and he watched while she set the lasagna down carefully on a hot plate and lit two candles.
And something swept over him.
Love.
And there it was. He thought time and the Army would cure him, but it hadn’t and he was no better than every other asshole, wanting to take advantage of her vulnerability.
Inhaling a long, deep, breath, Matt refocused his mind as the Army taught them to do in combat. But this wasn’t combat…though in a way he felt like it was. Not as dangerous physically, but still dangerous for his sanity and his heart.
5
“Dinner was amazing,” Matt said with a deep, satisfied sigh. The glow of the candles lighting her face and making her hair shimmer gold.
“And there’s more,” she said, taking a sip of her wine.
Gathering up the nearly empty lasagna dish and the salad bowl, she headed into the kitchen.
“Don’t even think about following me. I have a surprise for you,” she called over her shoulder. When she returned a few minutes later, she was carrying a chocolate cake, a big layer cake with chocolate frosting.
“In one of your emails you told me how much you missed chocolate cake,” she nodded to what she was carrying, “so…I asked Jules to make one for you.” She set the cake platter dow
n and handed him a knife.
“Care to do the honors?” she tilted her head, her eyes sparkling, as he accepted the knife.
“I’ll get plates,” she said, already on the way to the kitchen. “Let’s have dessert by the fire.”
A moment later Jessica returned with the cake plates, and Matt carved two overly generous pieces, plopped one on each plate, and followed Jessica into the living room.
She and Matt both sat on the couch, and he immediately dove into his.
“God, I’ve missed this,” he said between mouthfuls of moist, decadently dark chocolate.
Jessica watched him devour the cake, and took a few forkfuls of her own before setting her plate down and reaching for her wine.
“I’ve missed you.” He looked at her, his fork suspended midair. She looked surprised to hear the words come out of her mouth.
“I’ve missed you too. Your emails were…they really helped.” He needed to downplay their meaning, how much he’d looked forward to them, how he eagerly found the nearest computer and logged on every chance he got to see if he had another note from her. And he always did.
“What was it like, being in Afghanistan?”
He took another bite of cake and said: “Dusty. Hot. Until it wasn’t, and then it was freezing cold.”
“Were you scared?”
Yes, there had been times when he was scared. Like when a bomb went off in a car parked not far from their barracks. Or when he’d seen his friends die right beside him.
“The old saying is true, you know. War is hell,” he said, and stared into the fire. “I saw good men die. In the blink of an eye, it was all gone. Every dream they had, everything they wanted to do when they got home. All of it. Gone.” He set his empty plate on the coffee table and sipped his wine.
“Some days I wasn’t even sure what the hell we were doing there.” He looked up to see her surreptitiously trying to wipe away tears.
“Jessica, I didn’t mean to upset you…” he said, touching her leg.
“You didn’t.” She wiped away another tear, and he reached for the tissue box, handing it to her.
“I’m such a crybaby sometimes.” She swiped at her tears again. “I just thought—I mean it’s so dangerous. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”
The words hung between them, weighty and electric, and his heart skipped a hot beat.
“I promised not to die over there.” He smiled, trying to lighten the mood.
“Will you be going back?” she asked tentatively.
“Three more months, and that’s it. Maybe less, if I’m lucky.”
“When?”
“Right after Valentine’s Day.”
“You’re only back for six weeks? After being gone so long?” She wadded up the tissue and set it on the coffee table, next to her half-eaten cake.
“It’s the Army. I go where they say, when they say.”
Jessica fell silent for a moment. Then she grinned. “I have the greatest idea! I need to go to New York City this coming weekend. Why don’t you come with me?”
This didn’t sound like Jessica. It seemed spur of the moment, not at all like the planner she was.
“New York?”
“I have to drive down to meet with the buyers from a boutique that buys my dresses, and they put me up in a perfectly lovely apartment. Two bedrooms,” she added quickly.
Matt had to fight the urge to chuckle at her assertion.
“We’ll drive up Friday, and drive back Sunday. Maybe we can catch a show or something.”.
He nodded, “Let’s do it. But I’m driving my truck. There’s a major storm weather reports are saying might move in our direction, so I’d rather be in something sturdier than your MINI Cooper.”
He winked at her, and her heart flipped. She wondered again why?
This is Matt, after all. My dear, best friend Matt. Someone I’ve never given a second thought to. Until now.
6
Jessica arrived at her store bright and early the next day, ready for the onslaught of brides searching for their perfect wedding dress.
She spent most of last summer designing a series of new gowns for just this moment. Brides wanted something unique, something no one else had. Something that would wow their soon-to-be husbands.
Every dress was created with at least one option to enhance or change it in some way. If a bride loved a dress but wanted it sleeveless, Jessica made sure to accommodate them. If creating a sleeveless version wasn’t possible, there were always hundreds of other designs to choose from.
The store opened promptly at 10 am, which was a little less than two hours away. She didn’t have a lot to do, but Jessica was a perfectionist, and everything required a second check. Were the dressing rooms ready? Coffee ready to be brewed? Refreshing cucumber water standing by? The mirrors spotless, the dais’s ready? Her store manager was due to arrive by 9 am, but still Jessica insisted on double-checking everything.
She was ticking through her list when she heard someone knock. Her friend Maggie was waving at her through the glass door.
Jessica walked over, unlatched, and opened the door, and before she could even say good morning, her friend breezed past her.
“I know you’re busy and all, but I’m dying to hear the details!” Maggie bubbled while removing her shawl and unzipping her heavy coat. She flung both over one of the display cases and leaned against them.
“So?” She cocked her head, and crossed her arms.
Jessica knew the stance well. Maggie wasn’t about to get talked out of her position.
Jessica walked over to one of the three dresses displayed in the front window and fluffed the gown.
“We had a nice time,” she said, knowing full well it wouldn’t satisfy Maggie’s curiosity. But sometimes it was just fun to tease her.
“And what else? I mean, come on, Jessica, the guy is so hot. How the hell did none of us notice that before? I mean he was always good-looking, but now, he’s just…wow.” She threw up her hands, eyes wide.
“Nothing happened. We’re just friends.”
Maggie pointed a finger at her. “See, that’s what’s wrong with you. You fail to see the potential in a lot of things, Jessica, and believe me when I say Matt’s got a heapin’ load of potential.”
Something tingled up Jessica’s spine. “I’m not interested in him that way.”
“Jessica, you’re not interested in anyone that way. You’ve had…what? Four dates in five years? That’s almost criminal.”
“I’ve been busy.” Jessica moved onto the next dress, smoothing and adjusting the satin skirt. “This business takes a lot of my time, and besides, it’s not really a good use of my time.”
Maggie threw a hand up. “Wait, what did you say? Not a good use of your time? You mean dating?”
Jessica just shrugged. “No one seems interesting.”
“That’s because you never give anyone a chance, Jessica. Ever since that dick left you at the altar, you’ve shut yourself down. The only man who’s ever gotten close to you is Matt, and that’s saying something.”
“He got married,” Jessica said quietly.
Maggie frowned, “Who got married? Matt?”
“No, William. On New Year’s Eve.”
“Oh, God, Jessica, I’m so sorry.”
Jessica flipped her hand. “Actually, I was surprised that I was quite ok with it. I stopped pining for him a long time ago…” She let a long pause sit between them before she continued. “Matt made a special trip home so he could tell me about it himself.”
Maggie walked over to her and gripped her arm, “Wait, Matt came back from Afghanistan just to tell you William got married on New Year’s Eve?”
Jessica nodded. “I’m assuming he went to his brother’s wedding, too. Honestly, I didn’t even ask. But he was so worri
ed about how I’d feel.” Her mouth curved. “He seemed pretty surprised when I laughed my head off instead of being upset.”
She looked Maggie in the eye. “And I’m not upset. I promise you.”
“Matt’s such a good guy,” Maggie said.
“He is.” Jessica hesitated before she continued. “I invited him to go to New York with me this weekend.”
Maggie blinked, “Excuse me? You guys are already doing on a weekend away?”
“No, no, no, Maggie.” She shook her head insistently. “I just thought it would be fun for him, and I enjoy spending time with him and—”
“You don’t have to justify this to me, Jess,” Maggie interrupted. “But listen, it’s time you got back in the game.”
“I’m not jumping back in the game with Matt.” Jessica walked past her friend to one of three glass display cases, opened it, and began adjusting the wedding accesories.
“Well, whatever, but you need to get back in the game with someone.” Maggie threw her hands up in the air again. “It’s just not right that someone so jaded owns one of the most exclusive wedding shops in New York state. I mean here you are, at the center of all this love and happiness, and you’re all anti-weddings and stuff.” Maggie twisted her hands. “It’s just completely ironic.”
“I’m not jaded or anti-weddings,” Jessica said. “I just don’t have time to date.”
“Make time.” Maggie said, grabbing her coat and throwing it on. “Or you’ll wind up being the only single, jaded bridal shop owner in the country.” She walked over and gave Jessica a peck on the cheek. “It’s just not becoming.”
She winked as she breezed out the door and left Jessica to her work.
7
Just before noon the following day, Matt walked into the pub owned by his old school buddy, Brady O’Donnell.
My One and Only: A Holiday Novella - Book One in the Harper's Corner Series Page 2