Jessica took a bigger sip of the whiskey. “I’ve had dates,” she offered weakly. “But there’s so much to do with the shop and the designs.”
“That’s an excuse, and you know it.”
She just shrugged. “You’re probably right, but honestly, I’m kind of over it all. The love, dating, marriage thing. It’s just, well, not for me.”
Matt frowned and touched her arm. “Jesus, Jessica, you’re too young to be this jaded. What the hell happened to you?”
He should just knock himself upside the head so he’d be out cold and couldn’t shove his foot any farther into his mouth. He knew better than anyone else what happened to her, but since they always stayed away from the topic of dating in their email exchanges while he was deployed, he never had a full sense of how much she’d been rocked to her core.
When she didn’t respond to his question, he said, “I’m sorry, I know what happened. I just figured that by now you would have moved on.”
“I have. I mean, I’m over it, it’s just….” She took another drink, “I never want to get married.” The words, once out of her mouth, sat between them.
“Why? I mean, don’t you want a family and children?”
Jessica pulled the blanket up around her and gazed at the fire. “I just don’t think it’s for me.”
Matt touched her arm again. “Not for you? My God, you should be with someone who loves you. No, scratch that, someone who adores you. And as a mother, you’d be so amazing. Don’t deny yourself that, just because my brother…”
She turned suddenly, feeling a whiskey-induced desire to bare her soul. “It’s not about your brother, Matt. It’s just…” She took a deep, shaky breath, and she was back there again, on that day and she was alone. William was gone, but, even harder for her to face—her best friend had left. Matt was gone too, and she was left with no one.
Yes, she still had her friends, and they rallied around and supported her generously. But they weren’t enough.
“You left.” Her voice was shaky and low. And angry—yes, that too. Even after all this time, she wasn’t ready to relinquish her anger. “Why did you leave? I’ve asked you about it before, and I always get some semi-evasive answer.”
Matt lifted his glass again and almost took a sip before he saw it was empty. He shook his head like a wet dog. The last thing he needed to be was drunk. But he wanted—no, needed—another glass. He got up, walked to the counter, and brought the bottle back to the bed. He splashed a small amount into his glass, but when he offered to fill Jessica’s, she declined.
“I want an answer.” She didn’t smile, just looked at him, her steely blue eyes relentless and penetrating.
“I just needed to go. The Army needed me.”
“You could have waited another day.”
“What did it matter, Jessica? You had tons of friends to help you through. You didn’t need me.”
What the hell? Is Jess crying?
“I did need you.” Her voice shook again. “I needed you so much, and you just left.”
Matt looked over at her and then away, “I had to.” he took a small sip and then set down his glass. He licked his lips. “I had to.” He said again.
Now she was crying, the tears spilled out of her eyes, her pain visible, like it had happened yesterday, “Why?”
He reached up and wiped a tear. “God, Jessica, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
He leaned in and kissed her cheek.
“But you did. You hurt me.” She sniffed, and he pulled his head back slightly.
“I had to, because I was in love with you, and it was just self-preservation.” He hadn’t intended to tell her, not ever, and especially not now, but there it was, out in the open. Jessica furrowed her brow and sat back a bit.
Of course, he thought, she’s never felt the same way toward me.
“But you never said anything.”
“You were in love with my brother. What the hell was I supposed to say?”
“Do you still love me?”
Oh, hells bells, what the hell do I have to lose at this point?
“Yes.” And then, without a second thought, he leaned into her, and when he did, she didn’t back away. His lips touched hers, and they were as soft and as sweet as he’d always imagined they would be.
“Jessica, I’ve loved you since the day we met.” He whispered into her mouth, and then his arms were around her, and she slipped hers around him, too, pulling him closer. He was a little surprised she didn’t back away.
He kissed her until they both ran out of air, and then dived in again, his tongue dancing with hers while their kiss deepened, and he could feel himself getting hard.
Rock hard. Her hands stroked his back, and then they moved to his front, and he thought, now she’ll push me away. But she didn’t. Instead her long fingers moved to his face, then threaded through his hair. She made soft sound of arousal in her throat, and if he hadn’t already been hard at just the sight of her, that would have done it.
Matt pushed her back onto the mattress, and they continued their long, hot, wet kiss. She moaned against his mouth, and then did something that almost made his hard-on break through the fabric of his briefs. She sucked on his tongue, taking it into her mouth.
He let his hands wander all over her body now, reveling in the softness of her, and felt her nipples, hard now, pressing right into his chest.
He lifted his head. “Jess, we should stop.”
He was out of breath, like he’d been running.
She looked at him, her eyes wanting him, begging for him.
In response to his offer to stop, reached under the blanket and pulled off her panties. Then, in a ceremonious gesture, flung them across the room, after which she laid back, took one of his hands, and placed it on her nipple.
“No, let’s not,” she whispered.
“This will change everything.”
“I hope so.”
He lowered his mouth to her nipple, licking it, and then sucking. He pressed himself into her, no longer trying to hide how hard he was, how desperately he wanted her. He sucked one nipple, then the other, and finally circled them with his tongue.
Then he kissed his way down her body and past her belly button, and then down to discover a sweetness he had never experienced before in his life. His tongue slipped down farther, and then teased her. Jessica moaned when he slipped his tongue inside and licked her, bringing her near to climax.
“Oh, God,” she breathed, gripping his hair and moving her legs farther apart so he could go deeper.
“I want you…please, now…”
He moved up her body, still wearing his boxer briefs, but she could feel him, so hard, pressing against her thigh.
“I need to see you,” she said, kissing him, and tasting herself on his lips.
Sitting up, she pulled his briefs down till he sprang free, and he lay back so she could see every inch of him…and, God, what inches they were! So beautiful, and so hard.
She wrapped her lips around him and sucked, and he moaned. When she took him all into her mouth, she thought he might explode right then and there. Suddenly he lifted her up, and put her back on the mattress.
“God, I love you so much, Jess.” He gazed at her body for a moment before he hovered over her. She spread her legs for him, and he moved inside her, slowly, gently, until every inch of him was clasped within the her warm wet walls. He lifted her hips off the mattress and, kissing her soft mouth, he began pumping into her.
She pushed her hips against him, too, loving the feel of him filling her up. Feeling his penis hard and thick inside her, stroking for a release.
His body was hard against hers, her breasts pillowing him, her body tangled with his. She kissed him, this man, this friend of her heart.
She could hear herself whispering his name, and sh
e was close, so close. He gripped her hips hard, and shifted her, changing the angle so he could go even deeper, and that’s when she burst into a thousand pieces.
He was right behind her.
12
They were both breathing hard as he braced his weight on his forearms above her and kissed her, tenderly now, lazily, and full of something she couldn’t easily identify.
Jessica started to speak, but Matt pressed a finger to her lips. “Not yet. I know you, you want to talk this through, make sense of it, but not yet…”
He kissed her again, this time a little harder. His tongue darted inside her mouth, and he felt the arousal burn again. So he made love to her again, slow and lazy, savoring every single curve and loving the soft feel of her against and around him.
. . . .
They both fell asleep, though Matt woke once to add another log to the fire. Still naked, he checked outside to see it was still snowing. He went back to where Jessica slept and lay down beside her, just watching her sleep. Then he dozed off, spooning her body with his own.
. . . .
He woke a bit later to the sound of clanking, and when he opened his eyes he saw Jessica in the kitchen area. She’d thrown on her sweater but little else. Her golden hair was messy, she had not a stitch of makeup on, her gorgeous legs almost made him drool, and all he could think was, God, she’s beautiful.
“Making dinner?” he asked, throwing the blanket off and standing up.
When she turned with a smile, there he was, completely naked and grinning back.
He walked closer, and she felt her lady parts heat up again, “W-we should have something to eat.” He pulled her close for a kiss.
“Would you think less of me if I say I want you again?” He kissed her again, this time more deeply, his hands skimming up under her sweater to knead her breasts, and skim over her nipples, which were already hard and ready.
She kissed him back, forgetting why she was in kitchen, forgetting everything except this wonderful, handsome, brave, caring man who transported her to a place of passion she’d never experienced before.
She stroked her hands all over his body and around to his butt, where she gripped and pulled him to her, delighting in how hard he was.
He shuddered and lifted her onto the counter, pulling down her panties as he slid her into position so her hips were even with him. His penis slid into her with a slick, erotic glide, because she was wet and ready. He went deeper than he had before, holding her hips while he drove into her, his hot breath on her neck sending cascades of goose bumps down her back and arms.
She was still wearing her sweater, which he snatched up over her head tossing it away. He needed to feel her breasts against him, soft like satin, to fondle them while he was inside her.
“God, I love you,” he moaned, and she kissed him, and felt a tidal wave of heat rise up from her toes and engulf her.
“Maaaaatt!” she screamed while she climaxed around him, and he felt himself about to erupt, a wave overtaking him until he was delirious with desire.
“You are magnificent,” he gritted while he came, literally exploding inside her.
While he panted and tried to come back to earth, Jess ran her fingers through his hair again and again, a sweet, loving touch.
“Making love to you is…” she began, and then paused.
“You take my breath away,” she whispered, and kissed him again.
13
They finally got around to eating at about 8 pm. Matt broke out his MREs. He had six of them, which was certainly not enough to feed them for a week, but would serve them fine for a couple of days.
“I had no idea I was so hungry,” Jessica said, taking a bite of the stroganoff.
“You worked up an appetite,” he winked at her. They’d both dressed in their now-warm and dry clothes, but neither wore shoes.
It was a comfortable kind of picnic in front of the fire, cozy and safe in their little cabin, the storm still raging outside.
“I bet the truck is buried by now,” Matt said, feeling the need to talk about something trivial. Soon there would be other things to discuss, like his next deployment, the fact that he’d admitted his love for her, and the small detail of her being his brother’s former fiancée.
“When do you think the storm will end?” Jessica took another bite, and Matt shrugged.
“The radio said a day, maybe two. I hope it starts to let up by morning.”
“Then what?”
“Then it’ll be time see if the cell phones are working again, maybe hike out of here. I should have checked to see if there’s a radio around this place,” he muttered. “I’ll do that after we eat.”
. . . .
They went to sleep shortly after midnight, curled around each other as if it was the most natural thing in the world, as if it was always how they were meant to sleep. In the morning, they made love again while the sun battled to break through, and the storm began to taper off.
14
“We were so worried about you!” Maggie cried, hoisting a cupcake in her friend’s honor. Charlotte, Caroline, Adelaide, Maggie, and, of course, Jules had all gathered, post-storm, at Sweet Spot for a welcome-home-celebration round of cupcakes and gossip.
“So, tell us, what was it like to be stuck in a cabin with that hottie for two days!” Adelaide blinked and then blushed while Jules brought over the special batch she prepared to celebrate Jessica’s return.
She and Matt finally made it back to town that Sunday morning. Matt’s truck was still stuck, but managed to contact some Army buddies who rescued them on snowmobiles, as it was the only way to get to the cabin.
“Matt saved my life,” Jessica said simply, while visions of a naked Matt and tingling, breath-stealing memories of their lovemaking made heat coil inside her all over again.
Jules took a solid bite out of a red velvet cupcake. “Seriously, that’s all you got? I know you’re lying. I love you, but you’re a terrible liar.”
Jessica squirmed. She didn’t like being the center of attention, or the focus of conversation. To distract herself from the ever-present image Matt’s naked body in her mind, she took a bite out of a chocolaty cupcake. “He was a perfect gentleman,” she said after she swallowed a moist, delicious bite.
None of her friends looked convinced.
“I bet he wasn’t,” Charlotte winked. “Come on, just a few details, puh-leeeeze?”
“I heard somewhere that if you get too cold, like hypothermia-cold, you need to get naked. You know, skin to skin, to warm up.” Adelaide smiled, shyly of course, and the coven all turned their inquiring eyes to look at Jessica.
Jessica suppressed a sigh. Indeed, there had been lots of skin on skin. Lots. But though she loved her friends, she knew better than to divulge anything to them. They’d have her married off faster than you can say snowstorm, and a) she wasn’t the marrying kind, and b) she needed to figure out what the hell she’d gotten herself into.
“I need to go.” Jessica said, standing up.
“No, come on, we all showed up just to celebrate your return from the wilds, after all.” Jules seemed so disappointed that, against her better judgement, Jessica decided to stay for another hour or so. Then she needed to get back to her house and figure out what the hell do to next.
. . . .
“Maggie, you didn’t have to drive me home. I assure you I’m fine,” Jessica sat in the passenger seat of her friend’s car. The minute she and Matt arrived in town, everyone had treated them like they were long lost heroes, which was hardly the case.
“It’s fine. I’m happy to do it, and besides, I can tell you need to talk.” She pulled up into Jessica’s driveway, put her car in park and got out. “I hope you have wine,” she called over her shoulder. “I’ve got a feeling we’re gonna need it.”
15
> It was good to be home. At least that’s what Jessica kept telling herself. They had a harrowing adventure, and thank God Matt had gone with her, or she wouldn’t have gotten out of it alive.
“Where’s your wine… fridge?” Maggie asked, walking ahead of her into the house.
“Yes, but I’m really tired, Maggie. Can we maybe do this some other time?”
Maggie walked to the kitchen, “That would be a ‘hell, no.’ Now go sit yourself on your couch. I’ll be out in a minute.”
Jessica flopped onto her couch. She was really tired, that was the truth, but a small part of her was glad her friend was there.
A moment later Maggie walked in with two glasses. Handing her friend one, she sat beside her and raised her glass:
“A toast, to surviving the storm of the century.” She leaned closer. “That’s what the radio is calling it.”
They clinked glasses, and Jessica took a sip.
“It was pretty scary,” Jessica said softly, “but Matt never lost his cool.”
“You two found a hunter’s cabin,” Maggie sipped her wine. “That’s what I heard, anyway.”
Jessica nodded. “Matt found it. He was…amazing.”
“Oh. My. God.” Maggie laughed aloud. “You two had sex, didn’t you?”
Jessica blushed, “What makes you think that?” She tried to sound convincing and confused, but she knew she failed miserably.
Maggie pointed a finger at her. “You’re different, you have that freshly-laid look about you, and something else. Something I haven’t seen in a long, long time.”
Jessica sighed, “I can’t keep anything from you, can I?” She touched her friend’s arm. “We did, we made love.” Jessica looked at her fireplace. There was no fire, but she imagined one there, with her and Matt lying in front of it.
“And?”
Jessica shrugged. “Nothing. I mean, we were rescued, and now we’re home.”
Maggie held a hand up. “Wait, that can’t be it. I mean, that man is crazy about you. Didn’t you talk about what happened?”
My One and Only: A Holiday Novella - Book One in the Harper's Corner Series Page 5