I felt my face tingle and a cold sweat break out on my forehead. All I could do was whisper, "The death penalty. Son of a bitch."
"Exactly. Our fair state does not take kindly to murder and you know they will push for the maximum if the prosecutor can prove you also have ties to the Lazcano Organization. But let's slow down a bit. I am going to do my best to not let it get that far. I promise you I will do everything I can to keep you off death row. What I need you to do is think of anyone who could be setting you up like this. We also need to figure out why they want to take you down so bad they are willing to plant evidence. Finally, we need to understand what exactly your husband did to put himself in someone's cross-hairs because I have a feeling this whole thing will start and end with him. I'll be in touch Reagan."
He hung up without another word from me which was good because someone had suddenly sucked all the oxygen out of the world and I thought I might pass out. My phone fell to the floor. I dropped my head between my knees and tried to catch my breath and stop this nightmare from crushing me. I had gone from getting a divorce to facing the possibility of being on death row in just a few weeks. God damn it to hell.
Declan dropped to his knees in front of me. "Talk to me Reagan. What did Jackson say? Why were you talking about the death penalty?"
I tried to speak but couldn't. I was so angry. How the hell had someone messed up my life so bad? And how was I going to fix it? I jumped up and started pacing the room.
Declan jumped up and got me a glass of water. I wouldn't stop pacing long enough to drink it though. "Reagan. It's going to be okay but I need you to talk to me."
I stopped and turned on him, my eyes blazing. "They think I have more motive for killing Thad than just being a pissed off wife." I yelled. Declan raised his eyes at my outburst. "I'm sorry for yelling Declan but things have turned bad – worse than I could have imagined. Someone is setting me up to destroy my life and I don't know if I will be able to stop them." I said before laying out the new damning evidence Jackson had reported. "What am I going to do Declan?" I threw my hands in the air, letting out a deep, ragged breath and waiting for an answer he wouldn't have.
Declan stayed with me well into the night. Finally, we both knew he had to go back to his house, if nothing else but to keep suspicions at bay. Watching him leave nearly broke me again but I put on a tough front, teasing him about feeling like Juliet with her Romeo sneaking away into the night. He turned before closing the door. "I love you Reagan. No matter what. Always, a chroi." And then he was gone.
Chapter 13
My sleep was awful for the rest of the night, my eyes closing for only enough time to replenish my exhausted body. As dawn crested and sunlight streamed in the windows, I trudged downstairs, flipping on the television after the coffee was made. The local news was just starting and I blew my coffee all over the table when I saw I was the top story of the day. First, some pictures of me flashed across the screen. One was my mug shot from my recent arrest and the other was of me at sixteen. A picture no one should have had access to or even known about. I watched in horror at the perky newscaster filling the screen.
"As we reported in earlier broadcasts, local attorney Reagan McCallister was arrested yesterday for the murder of her husband and law partner, prominent lawyer Thaddeus McCallister. Mrs. McCallister is currently released on bail with electronic monitoring. We also have unconfirmed reports from an anonymous source at HPD stating Mrs. McCallister may be under further investigation for alleged ties to the Lazcano Drug Cartel. Details about the case are still coming in. In addition, this station has learned exclusively, this may not be the first time Mrs. McCallister has been in trouble with the law. A source reports she also appears to have a sealed juvenile record under the name Bobbi Jo Callahan in the state of Kentucky. Attempts to speak with McCallister's attorney were met with no comment. So who is the accused, really? Is she Reagan McCallister or Bobbi Jo Callahan? What is she hiding? And what is her relationship with the notorious Mexican drug cartel? We will be following this story closely over the preceding weeks as her case is brought to trial, bringing you all the facts we collect. Back to you Harvey."
My worst nightmare was now my reality. Someone had found out about my past and plastered it all over the news. No one in my life for the last 23 years knew about Bobbi Jo, not even Grace. I had buried that girl the day I left Winchester, Kentucky and I did not want her coming back. Things were going from bad to worse at lightning speed and I didn't know what to do.
The home phone in my office and my cell rang non-stop after the newscast. Most of the calls were from news reporters who wanted a comment from me about the story. Grace called and I could hear the hurt in her voice when she asked me if the story was true. I couldn't lie to her anymore so I told her it was. She said she still loved me and would be there for me but she needed some time to come to terms with everything she had learned about me. I hoped I hadn't just lost my best friend in the middle of my worst hell.
Jackson called at 10am to ask me, no rather to tell me in no uncertain terms, he would be coming by at noon and I had better tell him every damn thing about myself or he was quitting my case and I could face whatever the hell the state had in store for me with a public defender. Of course, I agreed to the meeting. A half hour after I hung up with Jackson came the phone call I was most dreading.
I answered on the second ring. "Hello Declan." I knew he had to have seen the news and once again he had caught me in a lie.
"Hello Reagan or maybe I should call you Bobbi Jo instead?" His voice sounded so cold and distant it was like a knife in my gut.
"My name is Reagan, Declan. Just Reagan. You can stop thinking I am anyone else. But you do deserve an explanation about the news story and so many other things."
"You think Reagan? Maybe you have so more lies you want to tell me first." His voice was incredulous and more than a little hurt.
"Declan, please. Give me the chance to at least explain. I know I don't deserve it but I really want you to know the truth." I waited, my heart in my throat, for his answer.
"I will be there in 10 minutes." He broke the connection without another word.
I waited for him to arrive knowing what I had to tell him might be the end of everything for us. But maybe if I would finally let all my walls down and let someone into my heart for real, I could let the secrets go once and for all. I hoped he would be willing to let me take the risk and give us the chance we deserved at happiness.
He snuck in to my house the same way he had the night before without a problem. But this time there was no romantic entrance upon his arrival. He walked into my bedroom and stood near the far wall. I sat on the edge of my bed watching him and when our eyes met, his were the stormiest gray I had ever seen them be – pain and anger dense, and very, very cold. His face was a sheet of stone, with his lips pursed and his jaw twitching as he stared back at me. I shivered under his glare but squared my shoulders instead of cowering in shame. I would face this thing with my head held high. My pride was about all I had left now but it was mine and I was going to hold onto it no matter what happened.
He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms, and waited without speaking. He was not going to make this easy, that was clear, and I understood why. I deserved every moment of this after the way I had deceived him.
I took a deep breath and stood up. I had to walk while I talked or I wouldn't be able to get everything out. I began with a slightly shaky voice but I soon found my normal confident tone. It was the one I used in court and allowed me to speak of personal things without getting emotional. I had a story to tell and no room – or time – for emotions. My future depended on convincing Declan to give me another chance.
"My name was Bobbi Jo Callahan, just like the news reported, 'was' being the operative word though. Bobbi Jo died one crisp fall day in Winchester Kentucky, buried by me when I boarded a bus for California and a start at a new life before I ended up dead. She was never supposed to come back." I looked deep i
nto his eyes to make sure he understood exactly what I meant.
His eyes narrowed and his voice was cold and distant when he spoke "How do I know this is the truth Reagan? You have already lied so many times. Why is this time different?" His eyes blazed with anger and pain. I had really hurt him this time and the realization tore at my heart.
I looked down in shame. Finally, I met his eyes again. "I know Declan and you are right to question my honesty. I am so sorry for that. Really, I am. But I need you to understand why I lied and why I had to keep my past secret. Let me tell you everything about Bobbi Jo and then you can decide if I made the right decision."
"Yeah Reagan, I think of anyone you know, I would understand the need to keep your past buried. But apparently that assumption was wrong. Please share with me why your situation was so different." I knew he was right but I still felt like I had no choice.
"No. You're right Declan. So right. I wanted to tell you the truth right away when you shared your secret with me but I just couldn't. I had built a life over the last 23 years and it depended on me being known only as Reagan Fairfield, and then of course I became Reagan McCallister. Bobbi Jo had to stay dead and gone or else everything I had worked for would also be lost."
He was still watching me with a set mouth, not budging the least in his angry stance. I hadn't convinced him yet.
I pushed on. I had to at least give him the whole story. If he decided to leave after that, I would know I had done everything I could. "My life in Winchester was more like a "Bad After-school Special" than "Happy Brady Bunch Episode". I was born to a sixteen-year-old unwed high school dropout who did her best but was never cut out to be a mom. She liked to party before I was born and even more so after I came along. She kept a constant string of boyfriends whom we either lived with or were running away from for most of my childhood. I lived in twelve different places by the time I was four." I shook my head as my cynical laugh filled the room.
"Anyway, mom liked her men but she found she liked her meth even more. I was taking care of myself pretty much by the time I turned six. It was okay though. In spite of all the shit she put me through I didn't think things were that bad because when she was sober my mom was great. Being so young, she was a lot of fun to hang out with. She would read me stories before bed and take me to the park and play lots of silly games. But soon the sober days were coming with less frequency and the boyfriends were getting worse."
Declan had lost much of the anger filling his body. His face was filled with sympathy and concern. I needed to maintain a strong resolve to finish this story and I couldn't have him feeling sorry for me. I hated to feel like a victim and had spent my whole life making sure it didn't happen. "Hey, lots of people have a bad draw in life. You included, so don't look at me with the pity and the sadness. I did just fine, obviously. I found I was really good at school so I just poured all I had into that and tried to forget my shitty home life. It helped for a long time. But then I hit my teen years, and I was my mother's daughter after all, so boys starting becoming a whole lot more interesting than books to me. I still excelled at school but at the same time I started to run with a new crowd of friends. They were older, more dangerous and didn't seem to have a problem in the world. I loved the life they offered. I mean, what the hell did I know about the possible consequences of what they were doing? I was still just a dumb kid."
Declan's arms had uncrossed and he started towards me but I held up my hand to stop him. Not yet. I couldn't stop the story yet and if he pulled me into his arms, I wouldn't have the strength to finish.
"One night when I was sixteen I went to this party alone. I had gotten into a huge fight with my mom and decided I was going to get as wasted as possible to get back at her. I doubt she would have even noticed. When I arrived at the house of a friend of a friend, the party was in high gear, filled with beer and pot, and some pretty rough guys. I knew I was in over my head the moment I arrived and had decided to leave when one of the slightly less scary guys approached me. He had black hair, a nice body, and a good voice so it wasn't hard for him to convince me to stay for a bit longer." I smiled for a moment remembering that night. "Yep, I was always a sucker for a bad boy, which unfortunately makes you part of a long history of questionable choices. Of course, I know now there is more to you than that."
Declan smiled but remained silent, thank god, while I continued with the biography of Bobbi Jo Callahan.
"Long story short, that sexy bad boy would change my life. His name was Lincoln Dixon and I talked to him all night. I thought I was in love almost immediately. He was twenty, had lots of tattoos and was generally the biggest bad-ass I had ever met. He was everything I wanted at that point in my life, a giant fuck-you to the world, and I believed I would do anything for him. By this time my mom and I weren't getting along very well at all. After a bad interaction between me and her current bastard boyfriend, you know the one involving a certain missing butterfly knife, she kicked me out, which was just fine by me. I thought I knew everything about the world and could take care of myself. Like I said, I was a dumb kid." I had to smile again, for a very brief moment, while remembering my wild youth. I missed the freedom, the excitement, the belief I had that I was invincible and could survive anything. At forty, I knew what life was really like.
"One night after an exceptionally bad fight with my mom, I grabbed my stuff and I went to stay with Lincoln. It turned out living with Linc was not quite the fairy tale my young heart thought it would be, mostly because Lincoln lived with his older brother Roosevelt." Declan arched an eyebrow in amusement. "Yeah their dad had a weird thing for dead presidents. Anyway, Rose, as most people called him, was a really bad guy who had just gotten out of prison right before I met Lincoln. Now, Linc worshiped him but Rose scared the hell out of me. Most of the time I was able to steer clear of him whenever Linc wasn't around. Life was as bearable as it could be considering everything."
Declan leaned forward from the wall and nodded once. "And that's how you lived? You weren't even out of high school yet, right? What did you do?"
I shrugged, trying to make the situation seem slightly less dreadful than it sounded. "Somehow I graduated, thanks to a few really caring teachers and an awesome guidance counselor, I was still doing really well at school in spite of my living arrangements, which I also somehow was able to keep a secret from everyone so no one knew what was going on. It wasn't like my mom was going to report me to the school as a runaway. She was just happy I wasn't her problem anymore. And most people in town knew my story and just looked the other way as long as I didn't cause too much trouble."
I took a deep breath as more memories flooded through my mind. I had spent so many years pushing my past away, I felt overwhelmed thinking about it now, especially dealing with memories of my mom. She had been such a mess by the time I ran away it was hard to hate her for how she treated me because I knew she was just a victim of her addiction as much as I was. She never meant to hurt me, I knew that deep in my heart, she just couldn't handle the life she had been given.
I met Declan's eyes again and continued with the story. "It was really simple actually. On most days I would stay at school, working on extra projects or just hanging out doing homework, until Linc got off from his job at a local auto shop. He would come by and pick me up and we would go home together. This arrangement made sure I was never alone with Rose. Life went on like this for a few months and then something bad happened one night that changed my life forever." My heart thudded heavy in my chest and for a moment I felt like that sixteen-year-old girl all over again.
I could tell from the way Declan's body tensed and he stepped toward me he thought I had been attacked by Rose, or worse, so I rushed on with the story to ease his fears.
"'The party train was running out of gas' Rose said one day, 'but I know where we can fuel this bitch right back up!' That was the day that started the end of my life as I knew it. Rose and Linc weren't about to get straight jobs, not that they even could with their records
and reputations around town, so they needed to get some fast money.
Rose started rambling on about how he knew a guy who told him all about a local gun collector that lived just outside of town. I could see the look in Linc's eyes, the dream of a big, easy score that would keep them partying for a long time. Hell, I'll bet he was already thinking about how cool the story would sound after it was all over. I had heard them talk like this before when they started getting low on money and I had almost completely tuned them out while waiting for them to run out of steam about this dumbass plan. But it wasn't slowing down at all this time. Rose was marching all over the room while he was whipping Linc up, telling him how much money they were going to get, how easy it would be for them, and then he stopped and turned to point at me. 'And all we need from you, sunshine, is for you to be our driver!' I glanced at him before returning my attention to the magazine I was reading dismissing him without much thought."
I took another pause in the story. The flood of memories was overwhelming and I wanted nothing more in that moment than to forget all of it but I owed Declan the full story so I pushed on with a deep sigh.
"Like I said, I'd been through this before so I didn't even look up when I told Rose to go to hell with his stupid idea before he got himself or Linc shot. I've always wished I had looked up from that magazine in time to see Rose step toward me and swing. He hit me twice in the face and would have kept going if his boot hadn't gotten caught in a blanket. I jumped up, blood streaming all down my face and shirt, and ran for the bathroom with Rose screaming after me."
Declan's face flamed with anger again.
"Linc stopped him from really hurting me that day, but he still supported Rose's plan. He tried to convince me that the plan would not only help Rose but it would also help us. He talked about getting our own place, maybe even getting married one day. He worked hard to convince me to go along with the plan but I continued to refuse. I thought I would just leave Linc, go back home maybe, but Rose had other plans. He told me a few days later, if I didn't help them, or if I got the bright idea to tell anyone about their plan he would hurt my mom and then he would hurt me. He had been in jail for assault so his threat was believable. I also still had a black eye and split lip to reinforce for me he meant what he said. My mom was a junkie and a terrible mother but she was the only mom I had so I knew I would do whatever I could to protect her. Eventually I agreed to their plan."
Heart Lies & Alibis Page 16