by Rose Cooper
Her mind told her that logically, none of this had just happened.
Logically, there was no explanation. Other than maybe she was going crazy.
Like Great-Uncle Maddsen.
Anna stood, gently kicking the books aside as she made her way out of the room. She’d worry about the mess later.
One book in particular caught her eye. She bent down and picked up the worn leather-bound book tied up with string. She unwound the string and opened the pages. They were crisp and yellowed with age. Each page was filled with old-fashioned handwriting scrawled in black ink.
She turned back to the first page and read the first few lines.
I have not lost my mind. Everyone I know has turned against me. I am crazy, they say. No one will try to understand. Even my wife, Esther, thinks it to be true. But I will prove them wrong. All of them. Even if it takes me to my grave.
Anna gasped. This wasn’t just any book. It was a diary.
And it belonged to Maxwell Maddsen.
Dead?
Lucy wasn’t dead. She was looking at herself right now. That girl Anna didn’t have a clue what she was talking about.
Lucy found herself suddenly back in the graveyard. Back where it all started. She felt so lost and out of control. Anna was the only person she was able to contact, and she refused to help.
With Pancake tucked under her arm, Lucy floated through the rows of headstones, head hanging low, arms limply at her sides. A feeling of depression washed over her before disappearing as quickly as it had come. Being dead sounded so…permanent.
But maybe it didn’t have to be. Maybe if she acted like everything was normal and she continued through the day as she always did, then nothing would change.
I am so brilliant, Lucy thought as she headed to Winchester Academy.
Once she was on school grounds, Lucy’s mood deflated quickly. She had expected to feel different coming back to her school, since she had been away for so long. But as she floated down the halls, she still felt lost in a sea of faceless students. She was invisible. Forgotten. And no one spoke to her. But that was typical. She had always been the school nobody.
All the memories came flooding back: How she was socially awkward. How she was afraid of drawing attention to herself. How she’d been without a boyfriend only weeks before. Although to Lucy, it seemed more like a lifetime.
Caution: horribly sad, heart-wrenching tale ahead.
Lucy had sat in the back of her sixth-period classroom. Anxiety had closed her throat tight. Mrs. Chambers had just assigned partners on a project, and everyone was buddied up. Everyone but Lucy. Even her own teacher had forgotten about her.
Now Lucy had to draw attention to herself. She slowly raised her hand, trying her best to control the trembling that usually came with speaking above a whisper in front of a group. Her hand hung there for several moments, making her heart race and shudder even more. Just as Lucy was about to have a full-blown seizure, Mrs. Chambers finally noticed.
“Ah, yes. Um…,” the teacher said, looking flustered.
Lucy sighed. It had been over a month since classes started and yet Mrs. Chambers still seemed shocked when she saw Lucy, like she was surprised there was suddenly an extra student in her class.
“It’s Lucy,” she said, straining to make her voice loud enough to be heard from her favorite seat in the very back, near the corner. A few people turned to look at her and Lucy lowered her eyes, hiding her face behind her hair. “You didn’t assign me a partner.”
Mrs. Chambers stared at her, then glanced down at her list, double-checking that Lucy wasn’t just a figment of her imagination.
“Uh, you’re right,” she sputtered, a slight blush creeping over her gently wrinkled skin. “Would any team be interested in taking on another member?”
Lucy clenched her fists. This was going to be like dodgeball in sixth grade. Picked last. Every single time. Or maybe not at all.
There was a low murmur…but nobody volunteered. It stung, but Lucy tried to ignore it. Whatever. She had the brains to do the project on her own. Sure, it was a big project, but it wasn’t like working on it would eat into her social life.
Lucy took a deep breath, trying to find the courage to muster a few more words and tell Mrs. Chambers that she would be happy working alone….
Then a single hand shot up, straight and confident, from the middle of the room. Lucy couldn’t see who it belonged to.
“Johnny?” Mrs. Chambers said, recognizing the hand’s owner instantly. Johnny must be the memorable type.
“We’ll do it,” he said.
“Thank you, Johnny.” Mrs. Chambers nearly sang the words as she beamed at him, like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. “That makes my life much easier!”
Lucy scowled from behind her curtain of hair. Easier? Was she really that much of a burden?
“Now, the assignment will be due next month. You will be getting class time to work on this, but—”
The bell rang, cutting the teacher’s explanation short. People began gathering their things and spilling into the hallway.
As Lucy left the room, a boy was leaning casually against the wall next to the door. “Hey,” he said, smiling at her.
She realized it was the boy who’d volunteered to work with her. “Hi,” Lucy said, with no idea what else to say.
There was an awkward pause. Lucy didn’t know if he was waiting for her to say something, but she didn’t.
He laughed, breaking the silence. Usually, if someone laughed at Lucy—because she was too dorky or she studied too much—she would turn and flee. But there was a brightness in Johnny’s eyes that made it obvious he wasn’t laughing at her. And he actually seemed a little…nervous.
“Hope you don’t mind you’re part of our group now,” he said as he glanced down the hall and frowned a little. He looked back at Lucy and shrugged. “I guess Nessa had to get to her class quickly or something.”
Lucy nodded. He was really cute.
After lingering for another moment, Lucy kept waiting for him to suddenly notice what a loser she was and make some excuse to escape from her presence. She expected him to realize that he shouldn’t be wasting his time talking to her. She was nowhere near close to his social level. Not even close to existing in the same universe. Like if you took a soggy pickle (her) and a prime rib. Those two would never be caught dead on the same plate. Ever.
But he didn’t notice. Who she was didn’t seem to bother him.
“So, let’s exchange information,” Johnny said, tearing off a corner of a page from his notebook. He scribbled his phone number on it and handed it to her. “Text me whenever.”
“Okay,” she said quietly, stuffing the paper in her pocket. “I’ll text you my number.” She started to inch away from him. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d talked to a cute guy. Oh, right, it was never.
He gave her a nod. “Okay. Later.”
Maybe this partner project wouldn’t be so bad after all, Lucy decided as she watched him go. And it was at that precise moment she knew.
She was in love.
Anna had never been to a funeral before, but she imagined they were all pretty much like this one. It was cloudy and drizzling, the perfect weather for a tragedy. It seemed everyone from school was here, probably just to get out of class early. Except Olivia. She had come down with a sudden “migraine” and gone home.
All around Anna, people patted their dry eyes with tissues and talked in hushed whispers. In front of her…well, she wanted to avoid looking at the creepy coffin. Just knowing that someone was inside threatened to give her nightmares.
Anna felt the phone in her coat pocket vibrating. She waited for it to stop, but it didn’t. Her mom had said it was okay to buy a new battery, and now it seemed to work better than ever. She pulled her coat tighter and glanced around the crowd. Nobody was paying any attention to her. She turned and slipped away without being noticed.
Her shoes sank into the damp gras
s with every step until she reached a large tree. Leaning against the trunk and facing away from everyone, she pulled out her phone.
18 new text messages.
“What the heck?” She scrolled through the messages, all from unknown or blocked numbers, except one. None of them seemed to make any sense. Until she got to one from a number she did recognize.
Lucy Edwards’s. The text read:
Nice funeral. Olivia’s?
Why was someone still using Lucy’s phone? That was just creepy.
Just gonna stare at your phone and not answer?
A paranoid feeling swept through Anna as she looked behind her. It was probably one of Olivia’s friends playing a trick.
I bet you won’t miss Olivia either, right?
Anna’s finger trembled as she typed.
What are you talking about????
Why won’t you help me?
Anna rolled her eyes. She was so over having this conversation again.
Fine. I’ll just come visit you again. I’m getting better, you know.
Anna texted back.
What do you mean, again????
Remember that floating head in your library? Yeah, that was me.
Anna gulped. Floating head? No. That was a hallucination. She hadn’t told anyone about it.
I even flashed the lights. Three times! Do you know how exhausting that was?
Anna shook her head. “No. That stuff wasn’t real,” she whispered.
I don’t know what you’re talking about, Anna texted back.
C’mon! The flying books? I even surprised myself! Give me some credit for my effort!
Not possible. Anna’s knuckles turned white as she held her phone in a death grip. Just then another text message popped up. This time from another unknown number.
You just knocked over my flowers. Mind picking them up?
Anna’s head snapped up. She had wandered away from the tree. Glancing down, she noticed a vase with dried-up flowers at her feet. She propped the vase up against the headstone, then quickly backed away, her eyes darting from her phone to the grave.
“Lucy” texted again.
Please, Anna! Help me. Don’t make me beg! You were so nice to me that day at lunch when we exchanged numbers. You even made me feel better about the mean kids staring. You weren’t like them.
The phone shook in Anna’s hands. Was this really happening?
And even when I told you to leave the lunch table, you said you would stay and take your chances.
“Lucy?” Anna whispered.
In the flesh. Well, kind of.
She took a long, deep breath, letting it out slowly.
“It’s true,” she whispered. “I can text dead people.”
Lucy settled against the school wall the next day, waiting outside John’s class. She had stuffed Pancake in her bag since he was getting heavy, even though he didn’t quite fit. Throwing her hair over her shoulder, she reached into her bag, maneuvering around the cat, and pulled out some of her schoolbooks. She really didn’t have to study anymore, since technically she was no longer a student. But going through the motions made her feel more…normal.
As John came around the corner, Lucy meant to walk up to him. But instead, she swooshed past him. She turned and hurried back.
“Hi,” she said, feeling nervous. She held her books tightly against her chest, afraid the pounding of her heart might be visible through her shirt.
“Hey,” he said, a smile spreading across his face.
She beamed back at him.
“Hey, Johnny,” a voice said behind Lucy. Lucy whipped around, facing the wide smile of a beautiful girl.
It was Eden Ashbury. Lucy realized Johnny wasn’t talking to her, but through her.
Lucy scowled at Eden. “Back off.”
Saying Eden was pretty was an understatement. It was like saying the sky was blue or water is wet. She had huge blue eyes and long, straight ice-blond hair, and it all seemed to be in perfect balance with her pale skin and delicate pixie-like features.
Lucy’s anxiety flared, her gaze lingering on Eden a bit too long. She was unable to handle the concept of the two of them talking to each other.
“Johnny,” Eden said, sidling up beside him, gently touching his arm. “Are you going to walk me home today?”
Johnny’s cheeks went slightly pink, something Lucy had never seen before. He was always composed. Except for the day he’d met her outside the classroom and given her his phone number.
Somehow, this girl made him blush. Of course, it wasn’t surprising, since she was so beautiful. And popular. Lucy’s stomach became hot and heavy, like someone had dropped a glob of molten lava down her throat.
“Uh, yeah. Sure,” John stammered, something else Lucy had never seen him do. Eden had really flustered him.
Eden’s mouth twitched into a small smile. “Great. Meet me here after school.” Her voice sounded like tinkling bells.
Lucy’s chest felt tight and her knees wobbled. She slunk off in the other direction, heading toward her next class.
In the days that followed, John failed to wave or say hi to Lucy in the halls. She watched him across the crowded halls on breaks or across the street after school. If he saw her, he gave no indication. Sometimes, if they ran into each other at the right moment, John would give a shudder and run his hands up his goose-bumped arms. Maybe she could make him see her again. Notice her.
Deep down, Lucy knew the truth. But for the first time in forever, she hoped for something. She wanted something. And it was something money couldn’t buy. Lucy raced to Anna’s house, more eager for her help than ever. Maybe everything could finally go back to normal.
Because the more Lucy watched Johnny, seeing him with his friends, with strangers, with anyone—the more she realized that he treated her just the way he treated everyone. She wasn’t special. He genuinely cared for people. He was just that way, just…nice.
But Lucy couldn’t let it go. She couldn’t stop liking him. He had turned on a switch inside her that she couldn’t turn off.
Lucy loved him. And she would always love him.
Even after her last pathetic breath.
“A what?” Lucy laughed, petting Pancake’s head.
“A ghost,” Anna explained. “Like a spirit. You know, dead.” Where was that lemon smell coming from?
“But—” Lucy’s head darted side to side like a hard-hit Ping-Pong ball.
“I know this is hard for you to accept. But you’re a ghost. You tripped and hit your head in the cemetery. Don’t you remember?”
Lucy touched her head. “It feels fine.” Her fingers brushed against an egg-sized lump.
“You do all the things only ghosts can do, including disappearing anytime you want.”
Lucy nearly laughed. “And walking through walls?” she asked sarcastically.
Anna huffed. “Whether you like it or not, you are a ghost. And in case you haven’t noticed, you float.” Anna pointed at Lucy’s feet, which hovered a few inches above the ground.
Lucy looked down. Anna was right—she was floating! People couldn’t float. Only ghosts could. That meant…
No.
Her newfound fate hit her like a wrecking ball. She was a ghost! Lucy scrambled, trying not to fall. She’d never been a ghost before. She could hardly believe it. She crushed the cat to her chest. “How?” Her bottom lip quivered. “How did it happen?”
“In the cemetery. We just went over that part. Did you forget already?”
“The cemetery?” Lucy’s brain felt completely scrambled.
“So why were you in the cemetery that night?”
“That night…I was supposed to meet John, and…and I remember some kind of bright light. I woke up in the cemetery. But—”
“You didn’t really wake up. You were already gone.”
Lucy’s face crumpled as if she were about to cry, but her eyes were completely dry. Anna wondered if it was even possible for a ghost to cry.
“Wa
it…did you say you were meeting Johnny that night?”
Lucy nodded. “Yeah. Why?”
“He was at the Ashbury party. He said after your accident that he wished he had texted you back.”
“But he did text me back. Look.” Lucy held her phone out for Anna to see the message.
That’s okay. See you soon. It was from Johnny, but that didn’t seem right. Anna had never seen him leave the party. And why would he text Lucy that?
“So that’s it, then. I’m really dead.” Lucy’s voice quavered, and Anna almost wanted to give her a hug. Almost. She would need more time before she could go around actually touching dead people.
“Yeah, I’m sorry. Your parents were never ignoring you. It’s just that nobody can hear you. Or see you.”
“Then how can you?”
Anna shrugged. “I must be cursed.” Or going crazy like my great-uncle, she silently added.
“A curse? Don’t tell me you actually believe in witches!” Lucy laid Pancake back in her lap, petting him slowly from head to tail. “Since you’re the only one I can talk to, you’re the only one who can help me figure out what really happened that night.”
Anna nodded.
“And help me see my boyfriend again.”
“Um…” Anna didn’t think that was such a great idea, but she also didn’t want Lucy haunting her forever. That would make her teen years really awkward. “Fine. Okay. But after that, this ghost business is done.”
“Deal. And one more thing.”
“What’s that?”
“I don’t like the word ‘ghost.’ Use something else.”
“How about ‘pain in my butt’?” Anna muttered under her breath.
• • •
Lucy transported herself back to the graveyard, hugging her shoulders, chin tight to her chest. She felt hollow. Alone. Was this how it would always feel now that she was a gh—spirit? Lucy twisted a lock of her hair. She had no family. No friends, unless she counted Anna. And now no way to see Johnny. Sure, Anna had agreed to talk to him for her, but until then, what would she do every day? It already seemed like an eternity.