It was pathetic.
Rick looked at his chest then back to Seth again. “What does that mean?”
“You’re all buttoned up and perfect. You pretend to be going through the motions but your mind is always clicking. You’re assessing and analyzing. The whole put-together package is pretty damn sexy.”
Competence was sexy. Intelligence was sexy.
The glasses and that self-confidence were really fucking sexy.
Rick scoffed. “You think I’m together?”
“I think you were born that way and should run like your ass is on fire in the other direction from me.” The Kentucky part, the prep school part. Seth didn’t know what contributed to the man in front of him, likely all of it and a host of things he’d never share, but on some level Seth got him. “I had this…assignment. Everything changed after that.”
“Pentasus.”
“No, one before that. I flinched and people died. An innocent woman got trapped in the middle.” Damn, why was he talking about this? He never talked about this. But yet the words kept spilling out and Seth couldn’t seem to stop them or call them back. “Bad intel. Overconfidence. I learned a lesson, too late but I learned it.”
“Which was?”
“Not to lose focus.” This was the point. Max drilled the idea into the team every day.
“Do I mess up your focus?” Rick sounded entirely too excited about that prospect.
There was no reason to lie. He’d all but chanted the guy’s name while they had sex. Maybe he hadn’t out loud but Seth absolutely remembered screaming it in his mind. “You stomp it into dust.”
“That sounds like a good thing.”
“It’s not.” He had to get out of there. He wanted air and a minute outside, but he had to pass on that. There was still the question of the logs and tampered security he had to resolve. They had a diplomat who might have been killed. Until Seth straightened that out and got some answers, he intended to protect Rick. That was his main objective, which meant staying right on top of him.
But not tonight. Not in this set of rooms.
Seth started for the door.
Rick’s words stopped him. “Where are you going?”
“To gain perspective.”
“That sounds like more than a trip to the bathroom.”
Seth got as far as the doorway that time. “Couch.”
“Do you always do this?”
He shouldn’t ask. Seth wanted to let it drop, but he made the mistake of turning around and looking at Rick. “What?”
“Fuck and run?”
Sounded smart to him. “I do now.”
—
An hour ticked by and he still hadn’t fallen asleep. Seth wanted to blame the lumpy couch and the way his feet stuck off the end because it was a foot too short. If Rick snored he would at least point to that, but no. The guy was too perfect to make a sound.
Minutes passed and Seth stared at the ceiling. Conflicting thoughts bombarded his brain. He felt pulled and confused and he had no idea why. This was a simple assignment. He’d had plenty of one-night stands and backroom blowjobs over the years. But he couldn’t keep his mind clear.
“Hey.”
He’d been so lost in his dream world he hadn’t even heard Rick walk into the room. He stood next to the couch wearing only his boxer-briefs and glasses.
“What’s wrong?” Seth sat up in a shot as he reached for his gun.
“Come back.”
Seth’s hand froze. That sounded like pleading, and for the first time in his life Seth didn’t have a defense to throw up and hide behind. “Rick, I don’t think—”
He held out his hand. “We’ll figure it out in the morning, but tonight, for what’s left of it, I want you in my bed.”
Those words felt so damn good. They pinged through Seth, lighting him up and pushing the cold darkness into the shadows.
“This is risky.” Not smart. Unnecessary. All of those, but Seth threw the blanket off and sat up.
“Everything is.”
He always had an answer. This time Seth didn’t bother to mentally hunt for a comeback.
“We’re not having sex.” He stood up, letting the blanket slide off him and fall to the floor.
Rick pressed his hand against Seth’s stomach and leaned in. The kiss was short, lasting not more than a second or two before he pulled back.
“We have to be up in about a half hour, so no.”
It took all of Seth’s willpower not to reach out and kiss Rick again. “You are so damn tempting.”
“Remember that tomorrow night when you think about sleeping out here alone.”
“It would be smarter.” But Seth knew with a sudden shot of clarity that this fight, the one that landed him out here alone, had ended and he’d lost. This was his last stand and it fizzled.
“Haven’t you heard? The new consul general is clueless.” Rick winked.
If only. “Like hell.”
Chapter 12
“This is fucking dangerous.”
Rick ignored the comment as he pretended to sip on a glass of white wine. He was pretty sure Seth had said those same words, or a combination of them, at least a hundred times during the last hour.
With the staff interviews and interrogating Tim, it had been a busy day. Rick knew from Ben and through a complaint email from Owen that Seth had been a very busy boy. He’d insisted on sitting in on all of the questioning of the consulate staff. Rick appreciated that. He’d ordered that specifically so that Seth could be a part of it.
They’d barely spoken since last night except to argue about attending this street festival and letting Tim out to come with them. Seth yelled a lot. Rick pulled rank, which went over even worse than he’d anticipated.
Not that the night before had been any better. Rick had lured Seth back to bed but they actually slept for a little more than an hour before the sun rose. Or rather, they laid there with more than a foot and a lifetime of space between them. A night that started out well but ended up pretty shitty.
Rick didn’t want a repeat tonight. When the guy ran scared, he literally ran. Seth had spent most of the morning after they left the room moving around the building, staying far away from Rick and his office.
But the hours passed and they moved on. Even now, Tim stood ten feet away, talking with a local artist about his warehouse studio. Rick hovered just close enough to listen in and silently translate Tim’s excellent German.
Not far away, Ben studied the urban wall art with other members of the staff. He’d been looking at a giant blue figure that covered the entire side wall of a building. The ghostly body seemed to pop out of a saxophone and into a meteor shower. Rick didn’t get the message, if there was one, but he appreciated the screaming confused emotion of it.
The cool night and cloudy sky provided the perfect backdrop to this open-air show. Music played in the background, piped in from unseen speakers. The streets were alive with people of all ages and outlined with hanging lights. The low rumble of chatter and clinking of glasses sounded around them.
The open streets and fresh air provided a distraction even though Rick wasn’t convinced they had time for one. His attendance was more about rallying the office troops after all the questioning. He hoped to both rebuild calm and provide an opportunity to see everyone interact with people outside of the consulate while he looked for signs of trouble.
They weren’t one step closer to having any answers. Add to that Seth running hot and cold and Rick hovered on the verge of a headache. But staying locked up in the consulate would never give them the information they needed.
Seth shifted until he stood just in front of Rick. His gaze constantly scanned the area and his body stayed stiff, as if on high alert. “When you said we were going to an art gallery—”
“I never used the word gallery.” Rick had been very careful about that.
“I think we both know I never expected to be outside and this exposed.” Seth’s gaze landed on Rick just lo
ng enough to glare before it moved on again.
“Tumblingerstrasse.”
Seth’s gaze snapped back again. “I’m all for you showing off your language skills, but I’m not sure how that word is relevant to this conversation.”
Interesting. Rick filed that language bit away for later. It could come in handy if Seth tried to take the couch for a second night in a row. “It’s the name of the street.”
“Whatever.” Seth shrugged. “You make it sound hot.”
“This is a city-sanctioned space for urban art and it continues to the railroad bridge.” Rick pointed down the street covered on both sides with larger-than-life paintings. Graffiti consisting of bright colors and words. Building after building, paintings stretched from ground to roof in most places. “Artists are encouraged to use the walls as their canvases. No permits required. It’s about vision and expression.”
“Are you a painter in addition to everything else you can do?”
Rick couldn’t imagine how that would have gone over in either of his early lives. The one in Kentucky centered on his father’s anger and the cycle of hunger and cold when he inevitably lost whatever temporary part-time job he managed to find. The disappointment and resentment festered until it consumed his personality. His father’s hate boiled over until that final day when he grabbed the gun.
But his second life, the one that was supposed to be perfect and pristine, proved equally confusing. Rick didn’t remember a day growing up with his “new” parents where he’d felt calm or at peace. He’d been too determined not to anger them and be sent away.
No, art had never been a choice for him. Neither had music or anything either set of parents would have deemed impractical. “Can’t draw stick figures, but I can appreciate the talent.”
Seth was staring now. “Makes sense.”
He didn’t ask questions or push, but Rick felt Seth’s silent wish for more information. It was part of who he was. He analyzed data. They both did. But Seth depended on intel and Rick wasn’t sure Seth was clear on the difference between his work life and his private one…if it even existed.
“When I was adopted I focused on not disappointing my new family, which meant getting good grades and sticking to worthwhile endeavors. I think that’s why I admire these artists so much. There are no boundaries, nothing holds them back.” Rick nodded a hello to a couple passing by and moved a few inches closer to Seth’s solid form. Not out of fear, but out of a want to connect on a gut level, to get him to understand a bit about the man he was sleeping with.
“A man trapped in a house.” Rick tipped his glass toward the painting of an older gentleman sitting amid a pile of physical things—furniture and computers—as the walls caved in and he screamed. “That one seems to depict death.” The dark painting on the next wall had groups of what looked like caricatures of people carrying a coffin. “That could just be a bird, but who knows.” Rick made out a beak on another mural but the human feet threw him off.
“Have you been here before?” Seth asked.
“Ben suggested we should accept the invitation, so I researched the area.” Ben showed up every morning with a stack of invites and requests for meetings with local businessmen and the offices of U.S. companies in Germany. Rick had a parade of people who wanted to see him. The timing of this one worked to his advantage.
“Of course you did.”
Rick realized his mind had wandered and he’d missed something. “What?”
Seth shook his head. “Go on.”
“Vivid colors. Abstract figures.” Rick looked from one wall to the other until a thought hit him. “Tim…”
“Excuse me?”
Rick looked around as a frantic sensation welled inside him. “Where did Tim go?”
Seth didn’t even flinch. He didn’t move either. Didn’t turn or point or give his actions away at all. “To the left…keep going…yeah, there he is.”
As Seth talked, Rick’s gaze shifted. It only took a second to locate Tim again. He was engaged in an animated conversation that had him laughing and gesturing. Rick itched to get closer, but settled for being able to visually track him.
He smiled at Seth. “I should have known you wouldn’t lose sight of him.”
“That’s my point. With forewarning and planning for an event like this I would be able to track everyone’s movements and ensure—”
“Uh-huh.” Rick hoped that would end the lecture.
Seth’s gaze narrowed. “We’re going to have a long talk tonight about your lazy attitude toward your safety.”
That’s exactly what Rick intended to avoid. He’d use every skill at his disposal to make it happen. Tongue. Hands. He’d be ruthless to get his way tonight. “I was hoping we’d skip the talk this evening.”
This time Seth took a long shuddering breath. His chest actually rose with the force of it. “Shouldn’t you be acting like a consul general?”
Oh, yeah. Rick could feel the win. No lecture tonight. “I believe I am.”
“Can I get you something, sir?”
Ben being Ben, he slipped up beside Rick without any fanfare, He was that guy. The one who appeared at the exact time you didn’t want him to.
From the comments Rick had overheard at the consulate and in answer to some of his seemingly innocuous questions, which were really meant to gain information, he knew Ben was highly thought of by the staff and business leaders in the community. People saw him as dedicated and smart, as well as very savvy in how he handled his career. He struck Rick as a bit stiff, but others remarked on how he cultivated contacts wherever he went.
He also hovered a bit more than Rick could tolerate. “Ben, you don’t have to serve me. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”
“Of course.”
“Did Ed need this much looking after?” Seth asked.
“He was…” Ben winced as his words drifted off.
Rick glanced around, took stock of where most of his people stood and noticed no one was within listening range. “You can say it.”
“He was very competent at his work. Please understand that.” Ben wore a pained expression as his voice dropped and his voice grew quieter.
Rick wasn’t really in the mood for dramatics. “I sense a but coming up here somewhere.”
“Hopefully soon,” Seth said in a dry tone that suggested he was done, too.
If Ben noticed the impatience he didn’t let it show. He kept on talking. “He tended to be so focused on his work that he needed some assistance with other things.”
“Like eating?” Now Seth just sounded amused.
“You’re not funny.” Rick shot Seth a quick look before focusing on Ben again. “Explain.”
“He depended on reminders and liked to have someone else handle the details so he could ignore them.” Ben looked back and forth between Rick and Seth.
Rick stepped in before Seth could respond. “I’m not sure you explained anything.”
“For example, I set his schedule and made sure he had as many evenings open as possible.” Ben stopped but only for a second before winding up again. “He preferred to be free to explore the city on his own during those times and didn’t share any details, or he did that until he got engaged. Then his sole focus became wrapping up his life here.”
Rick realized he’d heard a lot about this mysterious “her” but Helena hadn’t included one piece of information about the fiancée in the briefing file. “Did you ever meet her?”
“Briefly.” Ben took a long drink of wine. Finished the glass before he started talking again. “She was supposed to come for an extended visit but had a family emergency.”
The more Rick learned about his predecessor, the less Ed’s story and life made sense. “He had another four months left in Munich.”
“I don’t think he intended to stay one minute longer than needed.”
Rick said the first thing that popped into his head. “Love does odd things to a man.”
Rick saw Seth roll hi
s eyes.
“I wouldn’t know.” Ben waved to a woman standing in front of that bird painting. “Excuse me. I need to check in and make sure everything is going as planned.”
Then Ben was off. He walked over to the woman and kissed her on the cheek. The move came off as friendly instead of sexual. The greeting lasted maybe two seconds before the woman started pointing toward the painting, running her hand over a portion of one side as she talked.
Rick had been introduced to her. She had something to do with the art event tonight. Gretchen, Gretta…something like that.
Seth studied the couple. “He’s too serious.”
That sounded almost funny coming from him. He might hide behind a heavy dose of sarcasm, but Rick saw the determined man inside. That made him want to know more, to dig beneath Seth’s shell to see the man underneath. “Would you?”
Seth kept watching Ben. “What?”
“Know what love does to a man?” It was a stupid question. Not the kind that two guys working together and enjoying a bit of sex on the side should ask. But Rick wanted to know.
When he looked at Seth he no longer saw a convenient one-night stand. They’d quickly fallen into this comfortable rhythm. They verbally sparred. They flirted. He’d shared personal details with Seth, the kind Rick usually had no intention of sharing.
Every second ignited this battle inside him—the push to share something deeper with this man and the unrelenting panic that if Seth knew too much, if he figured out about their secret shared past, he’d run. Rick hated the idea of Seth taking off and not looking back.
“Let’s stay focused.” Seth frowned as if to highlight his words. “We have Ed wandering around Munich at night without security. Ben being a bit too up in everyone’s business. Then there’s Ed’s fiancée, who may or may not fit into this and, of course, Tim.”
There were other people who raised alarms, including Owen, but Rick thought that list was enough to deal with for now. “Where is Tim, by the way?”
Seth nodded in Tim’s direction. Two twentysomethings skateboarded around him. Another woman was signing. Ben stood right there, in the middle of everything, talking to one of the cofounders of this event.
Guarding Mr. Fine (Tough Love #2) Page 10