by Raye Morgan
“I’ve got to find her.” Kane served an ace and felt a glow of triumph as Mark flailed at it and missed. “I can’t rest until I do.”
Mark winced, shaking his head as he looked back at his brother. “Why?” he asked simply.
In answer, Kane hit the ball just right again and practically laid Mark out against the wall. The sound the hard ball made against the wood echoed through the little enclosed court and he grinned and flexed his biceps. Served Mark right. It was high time he learned to treat his older brother with a little respect.
Unfortunately, respect didn’t seem to last the way it once had, and in minutes, Mark was in charge of the service, putting across his own winning aces. Kane’s attention evaporated along with his game. His mind was back on his problem, and his brother could tell.
Hitting another hard one, Mark asked again, insisting, “Why?”
“Because,” Kane said in exasperation, letting the ball go by and not even reacting to it. “Just because. I can’t help it.” He knew his voice was sounding choked, but he had to try to make his brother understand. “I’ve got to find my baby. Mark, it’s like a fire smoldering inside of me. The need to find him haunts me all the time.”
Mark stopped and turned toward him, frowning. He hesitated, then went ahead and spoke softly. “Kane, it isn’t your baby. You gave it away.”
Anger flared in his heart, but he managed to keep his voice low and steady as he dropped down to sit on the lowest step of the stairway out of the court. “That wasn’t my doing.” He was forcing himself to breathe evenly, to keep this under control.
“Maybe not, but it was done.” Mark slumped down beside him. “Hell, Kane, go out and find some woman and marry her and make your own baby. Forget about the sperm thing. It’s over.”
He looked at his brother and laughed softly. “Come on, man, do you think the old lord of the manor cared about the kids he fathered when he went out rolling in the haystack with the milkmaids? This is like a modern-day version. After all, you’re president of the company. Your employees are like the old-fashioned tenants on the land.” He frowned comically. “Same deal, except with these twenty-first-century methods, I think you’re getting rooked out of the fun part.”
Kane avoided his gaze, shaking his head. “This isn’t funny, Mark. I’m quite serious about it. I’m going to find my baby.”
Mark put a hand on his arm. “And do what once you do? Ruin things for some nice young couple who managed to get pregnant with your help? Don’t you think they would be much happier not knowing you’re involved?” He hesitated and his voice softened with sympathy. “Come on, Kane. Whoever she is isn’t going to want you in her life. Face facts. You’d be nothing but an intrusion.”
Kane looked Mark in the eye. “You may be right, but I have to know.” He tried to smile at his brother, but his emotions were running too close to the surface to risk it. “Anyway, I could be a help to them. I could be like an uncle. I could come at Christmas with gifts for everyone. I could make sure he had a college education….”
Mark groaned and rose, heading for the showers. “You’re hopeless,” he tossed back over his shoulder. “I give up.”
But Kane wouldn’t give up. He couldn’t give up. His baby was out there somewhere. It was just a matter of time before he would know where.
He had a thing about kids and their fathers, a special need that had a lot of history attached to it. Back in his office, pacing the beige carpet until a path was being worn in it, he knew one thing for sure. Somehow, he was going to find out where his child was.
But what could he do next? He’d already harassed four women who worked at Kane Haley, Inc., thinking each might be the one because of one thing or another. False leads each time, but he’d tried, damn it. And now, as far as he knew, there weren’t any pregnant women left.
Running a hand through his thick hair, he frowned. He was going to have to go back to the clinic. He just couldn’t see any other way. He was going to have to threaten legal action again, and force them to tell him who she was.
Either that, or sign himself up for full-time therapy.
Flopping down in his office chair, he reached forward and clicked on the interoffice communicator. “Maggie,” he said crisply.
“Yes, sir?”
“Look up the number of the Lakeside Reproductive Clinic…”
The gasp on the other end of the line interrupted him.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes.” She sounded breathless, but her voice was strong. “Yes. Did you say the Lakeside…?”
“Lakeside Reproductive Clinic. That’s the one. I want you to put in a call to the chief of operations for me, will you? Put him right through when you get him. Thanks.”
Kane leaned back in his chair, drumming his fingers on the desk pad and marshaling his arguments. It was time to get tough.
Chapter Two
Maggie looked down at her hands. They were still shaking. When Mr. Haley had told her to call the Lakeside Reproductive Clinic, she’d nearly had a heart attack. That was the very clinic where she’d undergone artificial insemination just five months ago. What on earth did he want to talk to them about?
Whatever it was would have to wait until Monday. She’d made the call, but the clinic was closed on Fridays. He would have to call back next week. When she’d told him, he’d growled, but he hadn’t given as much as a clue as to what business he had with them.
Taking a deep breath, she tried to settle herself. All right. This was it. She had to find the words to tell her boss that she was pregnant, and she had to do it right away. She couldn’t go on like this.
A sound from behind made her jump, but it was only the company mail delivery.
“Hi, CeCe,” she said to the short, dark-haired woman counting out envelopes to leave in her box. “So what’s new out there in the Kane Haley, Incorporated, world?”
“Well, let’s see,” CeCe offered, narrowing her dark eyes as she thought things over. “Jolene Brown on the third floor says since we’re putting in a day-care center for the babies, we should have one for pets, too.”
“Pets!”
“Yup. Seems she’s having trouble with a new Yorkie she inherited. It’s eating up her house while she’s gone, one room at a time. She’d rather have him here where she can keep an eye on him.”
“Call a dog psychologist,” Maggie suggested with a laugh.
CeCe nodded. “I’ll pass on your advice,” she promised, turning to go. “Meanwhile, got any hot rumors you want me to spread?”
“Rumors?” Maggie’s smile faltered. “No, of course not. Why do you ask?”
CeCe looked at her curiously. “No reason,” she said slowly, narrowing her eyes. “No reason at all.”
And Maggie cursed her own guilty reaction as the woman left, her mail cart squeaking. “Way to go, Maggie,” she scolded herself. “Nothing like planting a seed in fertile ground.”
The phone rang and she jumped, grabbing it.
“Hello?” she said breathlessly, expecting bad news, just because it seemed to be that sort of day.
“Maggie?” Her friend Sharon sounded surprised. “Are you okay?”
“Oh.” Maggie tried to laugh. “Of course I am. I was just…sort of rushing around here when you called and you startled me.”
“Oh.” Sharon sounded a bit bewildered, but ready to accept the explanation as offered. “Well, listen. A bunch of us are going out to the Copper Penny for lunch, and I was just wondering…would you like to come along?”
Maggie grimaced. It was awfully nice of Sharon to include her. As the administrative assistant to Kane Haley, she didn’t often get treated like “one of the girls.” And she loved the Copper Penny. They had the greatest Caesar salads. But she knew she had to decline.
“I’d love to, Sharon, but I’m afraid I’ve got too much work to do.”
The work wasn’t the reason. Money was. She couldn’t afford to go out to lunch any longer. She had to save every cent for her baby.
“I think I’ll just stay in the office and have a sandwich,” she told her friend.
“You want me to bring you one back?”
“No. No,” she said quickly. “Thanks, though. I brought one from home.”
“Okay. We’ll miss you.”
She chatted with her friend for another moment, then hung up, smiling as she replaced the receiver, but feeling just a hint of envy. Sharon was pregnant, too, but she wasn’t hiding it. And she had a group of good friends to support her, not to mention the baby’s father. It must be nice having all that help.
Suddenly Maggie felt very much alone. Placing her hand over her stomach, she thought of her baby. Was she really sure she’d done the right thing? Was she going to be able to make it on her own? And was it fair to her child? She wished she’d waited a while longer before doing this. If only she’d confided in a few people, talked it over, listened to some other experiences before she’d jumped into this. Now she was about to make her boss her only confidant. Nothing was turning out to be the way she’d expected.
Pushing aside doubts, she got very busy during the next half hour or so, and had to run down to Financial to discuss some statistics they’d sent up that morning. When she returned, she assumed her boss had gone out to lunch. She knew Hannah and Kate, the two secretaries in the adjoining office, had gone. The building was quiet. Everyone was either off at a restaurant or down in the cafeteria. Pulling her paper bag out of a bottom drawer, she spread the contents out on her desk and looked at it.
One simple peanut butter sandwich on wheat bread, with just a touch of marmalade, one little box of dried cranberries and an apple. She’d had the same thing for lunch every day for the last month. Staring down at it, she tried to work up some enthusiasm.
“Eating at your desk again?” Kane Haley came out of his office, startling her. He peered at her lunch bag, then at her paltry meal. “Peanut butter sandwiches?”
“They are very nutritious,” she replied defensively, unwrapping the plastic and placing the sandwich out on a napkin as she glanced his way.
He was so handsome, his skin tanned even in the depths of winter, his dark hair just unruly enough to look casual. All in all, he was a very sexy guy. Funny how she seemed to be noticing that more and more lately.
He raised one sleek dark eyebrow as he gazed at her skimpy sandwich with a sardonic twist to his mouth. “I’m sure they’re full of good things. But not exactly gourmet fare.”
“I can’t afford gourmet fare at this point.” She looked away quickly, feeling flustered and wishing he would go on toward the elevator and leave her alone.
But he seemed in no hurry to leave. Instead of heading for the exit, he casually propped himself on the corner of her desk, one leg swinging, as though he were planning to oversee her lunching activities.
“Why Maggie,” he said, his voice warm with teasing humor. “Are you angling for a raise?”
Her eyes widened. “No, sir, I…”
He laughed. “Don’t worry. I put in a great evaluation for you just last week. I’m sure there will be something for you when Personnel gets through with their calculations.”
“Oh.” She wanted to thank him, but she didn’t want to sound too desperate. Even if she was exactly that. “I’m…well, thank you very much, Mr. Haley.”
“Don’t thank me.” His smile made her toes curl. “Your work is tops and you know it. I’d rather lose an arm than lose you.”
That did it. Guilt choked her. How was she going to tell him? He’d been so great to her and here she was, pretty much betraying him with this pregnancy. No matter how she worked it, she was bound to leave him in the lurch for a few months. There was just no way she could avoid it. Was there? She tried to think, but nothing came to mind. Unless she could work out a way to deliver her baby in the conference room and keep it stashed in the closet and never miss a minute of work. But she had a sneaking suspicion that wouldn’t work out. She was going to have to take some time off.
But luckily Mr. Haley was firmly behind the new day-care center that was being set up, right here in the building. She was planning to get her baby into it as soon as possible. But in the meantime, she was going to be leaving him in the lurch. And she felt downright crummy about it.
“Aren’t you going out to lunch, Mr. Haley?” she asked pointedly, hoping to jog his memory and speed him out the door.
He sighed, and, for the first time, she noticed that he was looking preoccupied again, despite his sense of humor. “No,” he said in answer to her question. “I don’t think I’ll go out. I can’t really eat anything.”
She studied him, concerned. He looked tired. Suddenly she wished with all her heart that she knew what was wrong. If she knew what was troubling him, maybe she could help.
“You don’t have any children, do you Maggie?”
Her shocked gaze met his and she flushed. How could she answer that one? “N…no. Not…not really.” Not yet, anyway. Was that lying? Technically, she didn’t think so, but she didn’t like it even so.
But he didn’t seem to notice her unease. He had a hint of that faraway look again. “I just wonder what it would be like to have a kid,” he said softly. Absently, he picked up one half of her peanut butter sandwich and began to munch on it. “Do you ever wonder?” he asked, looking into her eyes as though he thought an answer might be hiding in there somewhere.
Maggie’s breath caught in her throat. He was sitting so close and his eyes were so dark…. Suddenly she was very much aware of how the way he was sitting revealed the muscularity of his thighs.
Thighs! What was she thinking? She shouldn’t be noticing that. Swallowing hard, she tried to keep some perspective.
“Yes. Yes, of course I wonder,” she murmured, but she hardly knew what she was agreeing to.
“There’s something almost magical about babies, don’t you think?” he was saying.
But she was losing her train of thought. Her attention had been captured by the realization that his eyelashes were incredibly long. Why that made her feel light-headed she couldn’t have said. But she stared at them, fascinated, and the room faded around him. He had the most gorgeous eyes she’d ever seen. Weren’t eyes supposed to be windows into the heart? Did he have a beautiful soul to match his wonderful eyes?
She was swaying toward him and she knew it, almost as though he were drawing her closer magnetically, and somehow she seemed to be powerless to stop herself. Those deep eyes, the tiny hairs curling at his hairline, the tanned skin—masculinity radiated from him like heat. She came ever closer, experiencing his pull, taking in his air of casual acceptance, his handsome face, his straight nose…the peanut butter on his lower lip.
“Can you pass me a napkin?” he was asking.
She blinked at him as though he’d just gone off like a camera flash in her eyes, staring at him like a deer in headlights.
But he didn’t seem to notice. Looking down, he groaned. “My God, I’ve eaten your whole sandwich.”
Her peanut butter sandwich. She shook herself and reality washed over her like a cold ocean wave. Her heart began to thump in her chest. What was wrong with her? She’d almost made a very big fool of herself. Was it her pregnant condition? She was being irrational. Had he noticed?
“Your whole sandwich,” he was saying, looking at her as though it were her fault. “Why did you let me do that?”
Taking a deep breath, she steeled herself and fought hard for distance.
“How was I going to stop you?” she said, managing a tart tone, hoping to wipe away any lingering hints of her recent plunge into near-dementia. “You bolted it down like a starved wolf.”
“You’re right. But it was tiny. And suddenly I am hungry.” He looked almost embarrassed as he wiped his mouth with her only napkin. Not actually embarrassed, but almost.
“I’m really sorry.” His lopsided grin was meant to make up for it. “Listen,” he said impulsively. “I know how to fix everything. I’ll take you out to lunch.”
She gasped. Quick. She had to think of an excuse. “But it’s almost one o’clock. I have to be at my desk by one.”
He wasn’t buying it. “Hey. Who makes the rules around here?”
“I don’t know.” She frowned, thinking. She did not want to spend any more time with him if she could help it. That silly little trance she’d gone into might have been a harbinger of things to come if she didn’t watch out. She couldn’t risk it. Besides, she needed time to think up a good way to tell him she was going to be having a baby. It had to be done today. “I guess you do.”
“Damn right,” he said, sliding off her desk. “Come on. Let’s go.”
“I…I really can’t,” she said quickly. “I have so much work and…”
“Nonsense. We’re going to lunch. And that’s an order.”
“Mr. Haley…”
“Besides, I owe you. Remember on Secretary’s Day I gave you a rain check?”
How could she forget? He’d done that every year since she’d come to work for him. He’d never been keen on doing the lunch thing. Why now? Why with her?
“I’m not a secretary,” she tried feebly.
“Administrative assistants should get special days too,” he told her cheerfully. “And this is it. I’m finally going to pay up. You’re going to get your lunch.”
And the next thing she knew, she was stepping into the elevator, heading for lunch with the boss. And looking back longingly at her little office area, seeing it as a haven, a safe harbor. How long before she would get back to that safety?
This was going to be great.
Kane had a plan. A rather good plan, if he did say so himself. He was going to get his superbly skillful assistant working with him to find his baby. He was sure that she would attack the problem with all her legendary efficiency. He didn’t know why he hadn’t thought of doing this before. It was perfect.
There was only one flaw he could think of—getting her to do it. Instinctively, he knew she would resist. She would think it was a part of his personal life and she had no role there—and, of course, she was right. But he would have to find a way to convince her.